The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Hi,
Can I hop on board? I've had 10 years of the trying and failing to keep sober. I've been doing better, but not doing well. My DH has always been a hard part in that sobriety. Not acknowledging it is a problem, even when for him it also has been. After a series of issues (health and other) he has finally acknowledged things aren't ok. He has had a first AA session. I need to be fully stopped for him, but also for me. I've wanted sobriety for years and finding a happy life without booze was always harder with him still drinking heavily.

So day 3. I feel there's more at cost to this attempt. I think thats a good thing.

Morning all.
Welcome @Hopeisachoice

I'm still gardening folks. I'm channeling Barbara with a touch of Margo. My pots are clear of weeds. Nobody did them for two years!
The BFF has warned me not to leave any specimen plants for the tenants. We have got a back wall smothered in roses that were here when we came. I probably need some bomb proof shrubs.
It's sad in a way as we will never live here again but it's been a great house and family houses to rent are in short supply.
I had the removal boys in for a quote and it's very reasonable even with a full pack. I've only done that twice in 17 moves.

Still hot and we have the hosepipe ban now.

Off out tomorrow to give the car a run.

Morning all.
Lovely update @MsAmanda - being sober on holiday can be quite a challenge, so you’re doing brilliantly. And you will come home feeling much more rested than if you’d been battling hangovers every day.

Welcome @Hopeisachoice - there is a real freedom in deciding you’re done with alcohol. It’s helpful your DH is aiming to stop too - but it’s much more important that you want to stop for yourself.

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you. You're right and I do. Over the last 10 years ive had years of not drinking, and drinking. I hope that DH wanting to stop will be part of me staying stopped. I know I have my own stuff to work on (managing stress) to achieve this as well x

Good morning shipmates.

I fully agree @ShyMaryEllen - you are right to be so clear about it. The reality is stark and clear and so should the warnings be.

It must be a real wrench to start packing up your house @WendyWagon - but the progress to the new life sounds really encouraging.

Glad you are still with us and doing so well @MsAmanda .

Welcome @Hopeisachoice - I am glad you have found us. This is a great place to be.

Sid has got a bad hind-paw. I think it's grass-seed or small thorn related. It's is swollen but not hot, red or angry and doesn't appear to be bothering him too much but the swelling is noticeable. His walking is not affected. I have taken a couple of photos. We're due to head to Dartmoor on Friday. Also, due to issues with his previous owner, he is very "needle/treatment averse" and may need to be fully sedated with Gabapentine/Trazodone before examination (he is a master at getting any type of muzzle off) - he is not aggressive, just reactive. I've messaged the vet for advice. I've already paid our for his annual vets "MOT" this month, plus our holiday, costly petrol, garden sorting-out. And still a week and a half until payday. B~gg~r 🫣 Never mind. I've sent a chat to the vet. Holiday activities will be curtailed if needs be. Sidney always comes first. He will be back and stealing spuds from the Captain's table (sorry @Lavrander) before we know it.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Ooh, those spuds would be monster-mashed in a trounce if Sid got hold of them! I hope his little paw heals soon, the wee soul - can you get him to stand in warm salt water, or take him for a frolic by the sea?

@WendyWagon I admire your gardening skills - and there will be new gardens to love, new plants to nurture! You need no advice on moving if you've done it 17 times (17!), but wishing you strength and fortitude and good health for it. It feels like your attitude is in the right place already, like an experienced hunting dog that scents the trail and feels the old excitement stirring... 🤗 (Or like Sid after a potato).

Glad to meet you, @Hopeisachoice (love the username!) I agree that it's helpful initially when the two of you start a quit together, gives you a little boost at the start of the journey; but will also add to the universal advice that everyone has to quit for themself - not for kids, not for partners - keep your quit precious and special to you. ❤️

But we'll be your sober pals here! Have a lovely Wednesday everyone!

Oh, and @ShyMaryEllen , just want to send a supportive hug to you because I know how gruesome it is navigating the NHofS... they're set up for emergencies and crap at long-term conditions, the communication is horrible, and you have to advocate for yourself every step of the way, which is especially hard and scary and exhausting when you're already worried about your condition...

Even dealing with PALS is probably daunting, but it may be what you need to feel heard and to focus a few minds. I usually get through life trying to play nice, but then see the squeaky doors getting all the oil...

So I hope you can deal with it then compartmentalise a bit and do some nice, nurturing things for yourself too. 🤗

@Gribouille thank you ❤️ that's really lovely x

That's a really good idea @Gribouille - I'd forgotten about the benefits of warm salty water. Thank you - I shall try that. In the meantime, I'm off to the vets in 5 minutes to collect some Gabapentin and Trazodone and Sidney is booked in with the ship's barber surgeon for 2.15 this afternoon. My manager has kindly said he will approve a salary loan for me through work, so all shall be well. Spud harassment will resume as normal shortly, I hope! x

Can you draw it out with Magnesium Sulphate? I remember using that on the children for splinters. You can get it in Boots or other chemists, and the pharmacist will advise, I'm sure. I would put a dollop of it on a lint pad and attempt to strap it to his paw.

Sorry - too late. Oh well, maybe think about keeping some in, in case of a repeat performance. My Frenchie grandpa seems probe to getting things stuck in his paws, too.

Thank you @Gribouille . I have moved a lot (army kid).
However the DH and I have usually bought and sold every two years. We don't have my brother anymore so doing a big makeover is not for us going forward. I love the painting, gardening and small projects but that's about it
The lady owner is leaving the huge curtain poles at the barn so I'm pleased about that. I shall choose wisely from my stash of curtains. Some in storage for years. I'm a hoarder, there I confess😁

Thanks @ShyMaryEllen - the drugs are in now, but will definitely bear that in mind. Fortunately Sid is not prone to such things, but forewarned is forearmed (or hind-pawed)! Thank you. xx

Oh blimey. Just got back from vets. Gabapentin and Trazodone, me, two nurses and the vet PLUS an entire pack of Sizzlers - Sid was having none of it. Muzzles useless (any type is undone and off within seconds), collar padding, nope. The poor vet got a Sidnip. 😳Bl~~dy hell. So we've come away with steroids and anti-irritation/inflammation tablets, another appointment for Friday, and the hope that this will be enough.

Sid's mind is so sharp that the maximum window of opportunity from entry through the doors until he works out what's going on is about 20 seconds. I love Sid so very, very dearly - but any vet business is a nightmare situated on a hellmouth.

Never mind. Looks more in the nature of allergy than anything serious. All shall be well. x

Oh no our poor Cabin Boy!
Arthur's the same - he can be dosed up and practically comatose in the waiting room but as soon as a vet goes near him it's like he never had anything. At least he's got the nose that (unfortunately for him) you can easily get a muzzle on to. I can imagine with Sid he can wriggle out of it very well. Hope you're not feeling too stressed after the ordeal. He just doesn't know what's good for him does he.

Thank you once again for reminding us of the importance of sailing straight @ShyMaryEllen. It's fine until it isn't fine, and I'm so sorry that you can't get the answers you need. I appreciate the straight talking from you though.

A warm welcome to you @Hopeisachoice. This one doesn't need to be an attempt. This can be it.

Have a think now about what can be your new stress reliever, maybe that's getting out for a walk, having a tub of ice cream to yourself, anything that breaks that connection for you. In my experience I found it harder to stop when I wanted to do it with DH; there was almost a bit of camaraderie in failing. I'm not assuming that it will be the same for you but just to be aware of it. As others have said; sail your own course, and he will follow.

@Lavrander thank you so much. That is such a thoughtful reply. I don't give myself any time between work and children which means whatever plans I try to make for myself end up falling down. That I need to work out as its a problem that means i seek a quick (problematic) way to 'wind down' sleep, etc etc. Not that it works like that, and actually im noticing that my body tolerates alcohol less and I feel worse now when I drink regularly.

So some things to work out over the summer. I'm not off work but it gets quieter and schools and clubs are off children wise.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome very much appreciate it x

Can I join you all? I really need to make this stick this time.

I’ve done Dry January successfully every year for 10+ years and always feel amazing. This year I carried on for much of February too – more energy, productive, optimistic and just generally happier. But gradually the drinking crept back in.

I don’t drink every day and can easily go Monday to Thursday without anything. But Friday arrives and out comes the wine. I probably drink 3 times a week, usually Fri-Sun, and at least one of those days I’ll start and find it really difficult to stop.

I’m 43, perimenopausal and on HRT. I exercise loads, eat really healthily and generally look after myself. Alcohol is the one thing that lets me down and I absolutely hate how it makes me feel these days.

Last night I had 4 glasses of Prosecco at the pub celebrating the end of our primary school years – I have 3 kids, 19, 16 and 11, so it’s been 15 years! Today I’m sitting at my desk at work feeling awful and annoyed with myself. I still dragged myself to my usual 6am swim, but I just keep thinking, why do I choose to make myself feel like this?

I’ve also put on nearly a stone over the past year, mostly around my middle. Some of it is probably hormonal, but I know the weekend wine isn’t helping. I even briefly tried microdosing weight-loss injections and lost about 5lb, but didn’t feel great on them so stopped. It’s made me realise I’m probably looking in the wrong place for the answer.

The ridiculous thing is I LOVE how I feel when I’m not drinking – energetic, productive, positive and proud of myself. I’ve read all the quit lit and listened to all the podcasts. I know all the reasons to stop. I just need it to stick.
My husband can happily have one or two and stop. I can’t. Moderation doesn’t work for me and I think I’ve finally accepted that.

So, Day 1. I’m tired of wasting perfectly good days feeling rubbish because I drank the night before. I know I’m a much happier version of myself without alcohol. Hopefully this time it sticks 🤞 (sorry for the long post!)

Hi all, today marks 5 weeks with no alcohol. I went away for a few days last week and felt fine not drinking. It was in the middle of nowhere though and I took all my food with me so I couldn’t have gotten any alcohol if I’d wanted to! I feel so much better than I thought I would. I have been eating really well, exercising and sleeping better anyway but it all seems to add up and this is the best I have felt in years! I’m so grateful, a couple of months ago I was fed up with feeling low energy all the time and now I’m able to dance around the kitchen (much to the delight of my dog and son) walk longer, run faster and my skin looks so much better too! My concentration span is better and as a result I’m reading more challenging books (started Crime and Punishment this week!)
Thank you all so much you’ve all been an inspiration! What started as an experiment to see whether I would feel all that different being off alcohol has ended being something bigger and better than I imagined.

Hello and welcome, @Kernowgirl183 ! And hello again @Hopeisachoice and @VanGoSunflowers ! (I seem to remember you have a dog too, Sunflowers? If he needs a pirate name for our ship, could he be Vince, as in Vincent VG?! Goes well with Sid! 😆)

Oh, poor Sid... my mother's cat is the same, needs an exorcist rather than a vet... last time she went, they said 'Could you sit in the waiting room? They often calm down without the owner...' aka 'You do not want to see us wrestling your cat, it ain't pretty...'). I hope the drugs kick in and he's soon feeling chipper.

Not chipper myself - usually I'm starting to bounce on Day 4, but I've been fighting off a low-level upper respiratory lurgy the last two weeks and tried to push myself too far out of frustration, and now I'm flattened, absolutely unplugged from the mains... 😩 I just have to accept that I really need to rest and recuperate for a few days to stop this becoming ongoing fatigue... But I know that alcohol is the very worst for your immune system and your sleep, so I'm glad to know I'm doing the best for myself.

I agree with the above points that willpower is halved, not doubled, when you quit with a partner - but the support of a peer group is invaluable! Also that I feel so brilliant when I'm not drinking, it makes me wonder why it's hard to make it stick... I managed 5.5 years before and it was so uncomplicated! But society and old habit and the addictive qualities of the booze itself make it seem like a 'solution' when under pressure. That's why it has to be a blanket 'Nope, I do not drink.' If you try to negotiate with it, it will win...

And this is why people who say 'Oh go on, just have one,' can naff off... 😄

Welcome @Kernowgirl183. Alcohol takes about 4 - 5 days to leave our body completely, and it takes 10 days for our cortisol levels to get back to normal. It takes about 3 months for our “chemical” baseline happiness to start to change. So that’s why not drinking Monday - Thursday (although admirable if you’re looking to cut down), doesn’t really do much in terms of overall happiness, and why 100 days is the first “magic” target.

However, as @VanGoSunflowers’s post so beautifully illustrates, the benefits do start to kick in much earlier!!

Your post really made me smile @VanGoSunflowers . It’s magic, isn’t it?

@Onewildandpreciouslife what so you’re telling me I’m possibly going to feel even better than I do now if I carry on 😊

Yes, probably @VanGoSunflowers 🤣 I mean, it’s not linear- some days you will find yourself a bit bored and “grey”, or you take for granted how far you’ve come, but then you might notice that your hair is thicker (alcohol has a really negative effect on collagen) or find yourself singing in the shower. Only one way to find out … keep going!

Good evening shipmates!

Thank you for the kind words and wishes for Cabin Boy / Powder Monkey Sid. He is mending well, appreciating the extra rations he's getting with his tablets. Back to the vets first thing tomorrow for a progress check. He is taking a nice box of M&S chocolate biscuits to present to the vet with his abject mortification and apologies for his behaviour yesterday. He is a master of insincere contrition but has dutifully been practicing his "I am very sorry ma'am" sound. He is much beloved in the surgery, fortunately.

Sid likes the sound of Vince @Gribouille and @VanGoSunflowers. Wasn't there a Vince in Erasure? Sid likes Erasure. But not as much as he likes Steps. Sorry you're not feeling great @Gribouille - keep going. It honestly is worth it, and it won't always be like this. You're doing really well and, believe me, you are worth the effort it takes to be the real you.

It does get better indeed @VanGoSunflowers - the D:Ream lads weren't wrong. 😉 5 weeks is epic. x

Hearty welcome from me and Sid @Kernowgirl183 - I am glad you have found us. Lots of stellar support here. I can't moderate either. I know you said you've read all the quit lit - have you tried Clare Pooley's "Sober Diaries"? She was at a similar life point to you when she had her "oh sh~t! moment" - she caught herself again swigging daytime wine from a mug that said "World's Best Mummy" on it and felt wretched (Sober Diaries). It's funny and honest and really helped me. Also Catherine Gray's "Unexpected Joy" book. You're here and doing your best and that is both brave and brilliant. You can do it. 💐

And so we are off on holiday tomorrow, after the vet visit. But you shall be coming with us dear Shipmates. We couldn't head off without you.

In the meantime, here is Sid after his vet ordeal yesterday, still furiously stoned, and clutching the phone charger cable lest I grow remiss and forget to put "Police Interceptors" on his streaming channel for him... Bl~~dy hell.

Strength and courage brave friends. It's going to be alright. xx

Hello @Kernowgirl183. So glad you found us. Your description of your habits are so similar to me a year ago - exercising, eating well, generally being quite 'green' , yet I drank to excess - constantly undoing all the good. I'm so excited for you to feel the benefits. Not everyone gets the weight loss but I've lost over a stone, my hair is thicker, my skin is better. It's subtle but then all of a sudden, dramatic.

I should really talk about the mental benefits - and I do feel so much better (you made me smile with your dancing @VanGoSunflowers- fabulous!). The thought of a hangover! Why on earth would I want to wake up ill?

Doctor "Here - take this pill"
Patient "Thanks - what will it do?"
Doctor "You'll have a long and repetitive conversation, go to sleep, and then at 3am you'll wake up with anxiety and a dry mouth. Then most of tomorrow you'll be groggy, probably with a headache, lethargy and low mood. You'll probably eat a whole large dominos pizza to yourself and a sharing bag of crisps. Maybe a share pack of revels too.
Patient - "anything else?"
Doctor "You'll probably be ashamed of something you said or did for longer than is necessary"
Patient "Great, any side effects?"
Doctor "You may feel a mild relaxation, but you'll probably need to take about eight for that to happen"

Fantastic to read the updates from those that are getting through the early days sober and successful. They're the hardest ones but keep going. Check it off on TryDry. One day at a time.

Morning all.
Sorry was AWOL yesterday.
Big bun fights at the estate agents.

We're in a bidding war for the barn and I'm disgusted. The agent is the worst kind, too much hair gel and pointy shoes. I've got Benny from crossroads ( bumbling soap character to our younger shipmates). He lectured me yesterday, cheeky git. I doubt we will get it but both the DH and DD said let them keep it (or words to that effect!).😁

I kept off the booze and I got myself upstairs.
I console myself with my very grand late mother's voice in my head saying 'Wendy one doesn't live in a barn'.

Other than that I was out in the new car and bunny hopped a bit because I kept looking for my clutch ( I haven't driven an automatic for over a decade).

Off out for shopping and more gardening. Have a sober safe Friday.