Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Morning all, checking in on day 150!! Woah 😧 I did the maths .. at 183 we are half a year in. I actually can’t believe it. This has been completely life altering for me, no longer waking up regretting the night before with a banging headache is long gone. The fact that I don’t even think about drinking blows my mind. Welcome @MidnightMoon24 this group is so lovely, no judgement here - we’ve all had many moments just like you’ve described! Remind yourself often of why you’ve quit. Stay focused and the days just rack up. It’s not easy, but when you pass those first two weeks it suddenly gets easier and within 30 days you’ll start to see the difference in appearance. Mindset is everything!

Congrats @therockingbird! It’s amazing isn’t it. I never ever thought I’d rack up so many days and I almost never think about alcohol now.
Im thinking end June ( next month) is a huge milestone at six months.
Yes to all the new people please share you’re thoughts, struggles and wins with us all- I found it so so helpful ( and still do)

Hi, could I join?

My mind and body seem to have developed an intolerance to alcohol, and for a while now I’ve been saying I can’t imagine giving it up completely, but I really need to moderate what I drink on a night out. The problem is, moderating isn’t working. I either get the 4am panic wake up anyway, even after a glass or two, or forget to moderate because I’m having a great time but then feel horrific.

I think the only way to make a change is to stop completely, I feel both determined but not yet hopeful (I write this with a hangover and never seem to learn). Maybe posting here will help with accountability?! I’ve also downloaded a streaks app as I should be able to get to next weekend without too much stress and hoping a 7 day streak might motivate me to aim for a month🤞🏻

Morning everyone.

Welcome, @DaftPenguin, lovely to have you on board. We’ve all been there and most of us have figured out that, in one way or another, moderating doesn’t really work. Aim for what you want to aim for personally. Most of us on here have done Dry January before and this year it seemed that quite a lot were totally on board for 100 days, and thank you to @therockingbird who made the original post, as it felt more time to reflect and reset and consider our relationship with alcohol. A number of us have carried on! Anything you might feel we’ve felt recently, don’t worry!

Welcome @MidnightMoon24 too!

I can’t believe we’ve got this far. I must admit I still have a few cravings, notably this week, so there’s work to do here. They are few and far between now.

I must recommend the latest episode of They Think it’s all Sober. I’ve never heard of the guest, Jim White, but apparently he’s big on Talk Sport and was a Sky Sports Presenter. Anyways, it didn’t matter that I didn’t know him because he was a brilliant guest - so compelling. I don’t really listen to sober pods anymore, although they were so helpful to start with and while I was thinking about going AF and I’d recommend them fully - but this one was great.

Thanks @needastrongone , I really appreciate the welcome. I’m finding this thread so inspiring, would be so proud to join those who have made it to 100 days ✨

Morning all xx
Welcome @DaftPenguin and @MidnightMoon24 this is a great group to come on to , no judgement but lots of support and helpful tips,
Most of us on here I would say have started at the same point I think, not like we've hit rock bottom but just a realization that we just can't carry on as we are, that alcohol has crept in and taken over, it governs what we do socially, how we deal with daily life, the effects it is having on our relationships with others, if you had asked me at the beginning of the year to stop drinking I just wouldn't have been able to, it had really got it claws into me but then I just had that moment waking up feeling just so fed up with myself and made the decision to stop even for a couple of weeks and now i am on my 49th alcohol free day today, absolutely made up with my self!

That’s exactly it @PeacheyPeach , it’s such a part of my social life. Tomorrow we’re probably going to end up at a beer festival. But I’m so tired of feeling like this every time I go out, I really want to see if I can make a meaningful change. Congratulations on your 49 days!

I’m open to all and any advice on how to manage the social side.

The social side is tough, I won’t lie. Just commit to staying two hours and then leave that’s what I do. And maybe go up to the bar asap get a large pint of coke or whatever and then you won’t be swayed as you have a drink in hand!

I’m not the best person to ask re social situations because that’s not a trigger for me, I’ve got to work harder at ‘stress’ drinking or boredom in the house. But the only thing I’d add is I’ve found I’ve needed different strategies for different triggers. So, if I pour myself a ‘posh’ soft drink in a nice glass with lots of ice when I’m getting fed up of juice or water by 5/6pm, that then counters that trigger.

My stress drinking has been more about identifying why I’m stressed and sitting with that feeling for a bit rather than trying to drown it out, understanding the stress if needed.

So maybe try to understand why you think having a drink while at the festival is the norm? Is it social anxiety? Routine? The buzz? Because each might need a different response, iyswim?

I’ve found when I am out and not drinking, you soon get really bored of watching folk descend into drunkenness and a little ashamed that this was you too!!

@DaftPenguin I know it might sound mad but having a glass of something in your hand can help with the being social. If your going to a beer festival could you plan ahead and see if they are offering AF beers?

Thank you for the welcome. Day 2 done for me. Boredom drinking seems to be one of my triggers. Doesnt help I'm often on my own of a night as DH works. Coped tonight with more cups of tea than is probably healthy at least its better than a bottle of wine! AF beer could a good idea tomorrow @DaftPenguin there seems to be alot more places offering it now.

I think it’s probably true that having a pint of something non-alcoholic to hold will help a lot!

Out for a meal last night with family, drank sparkling water. Day 1 done! Tea definitely better than wine @MidnightMoon24 🙂

It’s weird that at the moment, drinking feels like the entire point of so many of my social plans. Like a shared hobby. There will be other stuff to do at the festival today, but because I don’t want to drink my brain is thinking what’s the point? Working out the thought patterns behind drinking will take a bit of time I think, but I already feel that this could make a huge difference to whether I stick with this or not.

Something I need to keep in mind is the way drinking makes me feel. I don’t drink every night, or huge amounts (although I’m drinking too much socially) so in some ways it feels a bit dramatic cutting it out completely. But I’m not able to reliably moderate it and at least once a fortnight it makes me feel terrible, really awful, both physically and emotionally. That really has to change.

@MidnightMoon24 I think boredom is always a big factor, it was for me, and it did feel like it was going to be a huge thing to replace in the evening, but hopefully you will find after a week or so that your evenings aren't really that much different with or without a drink, I'm still watching stuff on the TV or on my phone, still having a nice bath or shower and doing my skin Care, like nothing else really changes other than I'm not waking up feeling sick or have a banging headache the next day!!

@DaftPenguin I was definitely in that mindset before of what's the point in going out if I'm not going to be drinking, it would never have crossed my mind to stay alcohol free,
And it is because I actually hide behind drinking, I thought it was giving me confidence and I handled socializing better, and made things so much more fun, but all it does is make me louder than everyone, saying things I wish I hadn't, over sharing about things that I'd never dream of, and then just having this awful anxious feeling for days after an event feeling embarrassed of how I might or might not have behaved.
So alcohol for me ha been like the best friend who gets you to do all the naughty stuff while they watch on laughing but wouldn't dream of doing themselves!!

Some people just have a few drinks once in a while and are amazing at moderating, I would love to be that person!!

@PeacheyPeach I relate to what you’ve written SO much, that’s exactly what it’s like

How are you finding it at the moment, are you going out and not drinking?

@needastrongone thanks. The health aspects is definitely one of my major whys too. Every time I type the word journey it makes me a bit 😬 it is a very twee word. I have thought about using the word change but it reminds me of the sketches Les Dawson used to do in the doctors waiting room, when he mouths words silently 🤣

Maybe as a group we could think of a word for this dry adventure we are all going through?

@PeacheyPeach thank you and your right so much better than any drink could taste. The Davina story you shared really struck me it is all gains, especially if you are needed in an emergency situation. Thanks for sharing. A massive well done for all your dry days the start is hard and you have smashed through it.

@SwiftyFifty such a warming and positive post sounds like you have reached a new stage. I don't think that I was on the first thread. Think I completed dry January on another thread and then because I had mentioned carrying on got invited to join this group. So think it was the second thread I joined you all. Little did I know at that time just how much those threads would change my life.

@anewyearthisyear

Hope it is all going well for everyone. I don't regret one drink I didn't have in the past 150 days.

Love this and well done on getting through your dh being away that's such a great achievement and a big change.

Hello and welcome @MidnightMoon24 I hope you can find what you are looking for from this lovely group. Wishing you lots of luck.

@therockingbird congratulations on reaching day 150

@DaftPenguin welcome to this group it really is such a wealth of support and inspiration. For social situations I drive and like others don't stay until the end seeing people getting progressively drunk is boring and tbh they annoy me (feel like such a hypocrite typing that 😳) I drink sparkling water with lots of ice. Try not to think of the day as a long drawn out of time. Break it down to I won't drink in the next half an hour or 10 minutes if you need to then keep adding it on. Good luck and I hope you enjoy yourself.

Day 150 for me today and still dry. Can't believe 2026 has 215 days left. It's been a quick year. I have my bottle of ginger beer chilling in the fridge to enjoy tonight. Still struggling slightly with what to do with myself that's not working or cleaning the house. Will have a think but definitely going to do something productive that's just for me today.

Have a great weekend everyone 💐

@DaftPenguin I went to a party which was in a wine bar my second week in and I thought it was going to be really hard to be honest, but it was ok, a few people were shocked that I wasn't drinking so it was more explaining myself that I felt was difficult, but the actual not drinking was fine. Id already checked the AF drink options before i went so I knew what I would have, that made it easier for me to know what I would be drinking, admittedly I only stayed for a couple of hours but I came home feeling amazing,!
I've also had people over to the house who have all been drinking, I was fine I had AF prosecco and ate all the delicious picky bits I would normally have left because I was to busy drinking!

Thanks @Ladymuckypuddle 😊 That’s encouraging… sparkling water is my choice, too. I hope you found something lovely to do this evening?

@PeacheyPeach I think it would really help to have an idea of what to order beforehand. How’s the AF prosecco?!

So the beer festival really was all about the beer and as DH stayed off it in solidarity we didn’t last long!! We went for a walk this evening and felt a bit lost about what to do when we reached the main street - would normally grab a drink - but shared a pizza and it felt fine. Didn’t miss it today, but did have to plan around it more than I expected.

Morning all @SwiftyFifty 6 months!! Such an amazing achievement that will be!! 🥰 welcome @DaftPenguin I also tried moderating about a year ago.. before I knew it I was back to my daily bottle of wine. I must have spent a fortune to!! I had no off switch, once I started I was all in.. then I started to feel quite anxious about everything and the penny dropped - the wine was making me worse not better. The initial hit was great, sort of numbing the chaos in my life, but it solved nothing. Now I face everything head on with a clear mind and deal with it. It’s been a real eye opener for me. As others have said, I started the original thread after reading something about 100 days changing your mindset, I’d done dry Jan before and although it was great to have a break the habit crept back in straight away and it was pretty pointless. Doing 100 days shifts that, by the time you get to 100 days the benefits far outweigh the negatives of alcohol and it seems daft to stop. It’s worked for many of us - and can work for you to.

Morning.

Well done @DaftPenguin, re the festival. Don’t forget that you had planned this event before you’d decided to have a period of being AF, you might not need to pivot so much next time. Also what struck me was the comment re grabbing a drink when you got to the high street - so maybe that’s a habitual pattern of behaviour rather than the enjoyment of the drink, and you can relearn these things in time. My habit was walking in from work and going straight to the fridge for a glass of wine, whether I wanted it or not. I’ve learned now to pour myself something quite ‘tangy’ like a ginger beer, a drink called Mother Root, or orange juice and tonic with lots of ice.

We had a quiet day yesterday. It was so blooming hot that I went through a plethora of soft drinks chilling in the garden before finally ending up with good old fashioned plain water, as it was actual plain old thirst rather than a desire to drink.

@DaftPenguin that's really lovely your dh didn't drink any beers to support you. It sounds like a bit of a challenging day but you achieved your goal of not drinking. Well done, I promise you it does get much easier with time. In a few weeks you will just be going about your day and alcohol won't even register.

I took myself off for a long walk yesterday was surprised at how relaxed and switched off it made me feel. Once back home and organised I read a few chapters of my book. That's another thing af life has given me back, the enjoyment of reading. My aim for this week is to finish my book and go on a few more walks.

Love reading and going for walks being an aim for the week!

I need to get my head around this being a totally acceptable and desirable aim, as I have all sorts of messed up ideas about productivity...and being hungover and getting through it almost became a weird product...

@CoffeeCupMilk - this might sound strange, but I’m definitely trying to get myself out of the ‘I must be busy at all times’ mindset too. I’ve started texting myself a few daily jobs. Today is low key - do a recovery run on the treadmill of half an hour, make a salad to use midweek (basically just chucking a few roast vegetables and other bits into a packet of puy lentils) change the bedding on one bed, and pay 3 bills online. I’ve yet to change the bed but that’s it. I feel productive by ticking off a list, but I’m learning to let go of doing all this then thinking I’d better clean a cupboard, mop the floor, tidy outside etc.

@Ladymuckypuddle - I walked the dog this morning, fresh as a daisy and used my Merlin app to listen for birds. This is very new - but instead of trudging along hungover, I’m appreciating being out and really being present and listening, looking, breathing fully in nature. Enjoy your walks this week. Reading is on my list too - at some point! I had no idea what a chaffinch sounds like, or a blackbird, or a wren or songthrush before and they are all really very lovely.

Day 145, I've negotiated my birthday recently that was a tough day really wanted a glass of wine with my meal. I've been off this week so it would of been easy to press the fuck it button but I stuck to my guns and played the tape forward so to speak. At the moment getting in bed with my book and waking up refreshed are my favourite moments. Bordem is an issue, so I've been doing a lot of pottering around in the day and resting. I'm trying to stay off my phone and mindless scrolling.
@needastrongone http://www.daffodilkitchen.com/ginger-and-turmeric-switchel-with-lemon-and-chilli/ this the the switchel I make but there are plenty of variations to try. It's been a godsend this week.
Welcome to all the new posters 100 days might feel long at times but the rewards are definitely worth it.