Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Hi everyone - I'm about 9 weeks in now so wondering if I could ask advice, particularly from people further on?

After the initial highs, appreciating the mornings, time to read, etc, it's now become a bit...so what? And flat.

Have 'accidentally' weaned off the sugar recently due to being a bit ill and off it, but now feel like...what do I do? Where are the ups and downs? Where are the treats and rewards? What next? What in the long run?

(Am very limited in scope re ability to do anything exciting or ambitious for the next few months due to family responsibilities etc...)

@CoffeeCupMilk I'm about 140 days in. I know what you mean about the flat feeling. I have to say I dosed mine with sugar at the beginning - not a great idea but better than downing a bottle of wine.

Now I do two sort of contradictory things. One is I just have removed drinking as an option in my head. So my feelings/need for rewards have nothing to do with drinking - that's off the table. I am just living my life which is now one in which I am healthy and aware and not overcome with guilt and shame. The absence of guilt and shame is still a huge up for me. It probably helps me that my dh has never had alcohol - just his choice - so he has lived his whole life not having the "treat" of alcohol and he has had a lovely time for himself mostly. My mum also never had a drink and I used to look at her sometimes after my dad died and feel such admiration for her feeling all her feelings -good and bad - without numbing any of them.

The other diametrically opposite thing is I say to myself of course I can have a drink anytime I want - which is true. I can have a drink at some point in the future if it seems like a great idea. But right now it seems like a terrible idea so I won't. I'm hoping I never will.

In terms of immediate, ordinary "treats", my coffee in the morning, my AF beer in a nice glass in the evening, reading a good book from the library, watching reruns of Law and Order - all give me a bit of a lift.

Thanks for replying @anewyearthisyear

That's a really good reminder re the (lack of) guilt and shame. I don't know why it's so easy to forget how bad all that is, and the cognitive dissonance!

I think I'll go for a walk and get some nice AF beer this evening. And luckily am reading a good book (and have a recommendation from some workmates for a new series to try...)

@anewyearthisyear very well put! Yes there are flat days but when you stop and analyse you’re not flat because you have chosen not to drink. Maybe you are bored or lonely. For me a real corner was turned when I stopped thinking that alcohol was the treat or go to to mark occasions ( good and bad)
Yes my mornings are now my favourite time of the day too bizarrely. I tried on some clothes today panic buying for the heatwave and my god the difference. I have lost so many inches around my middle, can wear h and m low lying linen trousers ( before they simply looked awful) so whilst the scales have moved a bit, it’s how you feel and look trying on clothes that is another win so I try to use all the wins against the temptation to drink.
I have almost a week off now but not thinking alcohol will make that better, even though I was always a “ wine in the sun” type girl
Good luck with overcoming the flatness - you will get there eventually op