Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Hi everyone - I'm about 9 weeks in now so wondering if I could ask advice, particularly from people further on?

After the initial highs, appreciating the mornings, time to read, etc, it's now become a bit...so what? And flat.

Have 'accidentally' weaned off the sugar recently due to being a bit ill and off it, but now feel like...what do I do? Where are the ups and downs? Where are the treats and rewards? What next? What in the long run?

(Am very limited in scope re ability to do anything exciting or ambitious for the next few months due to family responsibilities etc...)

@CoffeeCupMilk I'm about 140 days in. I know what you mean about the flat feeling. I have to say I dosed mine with sugar at the beginning - not a great idea but better than downing a bottle of wine.

Now I do two sort of contradictory things. One is I just have removed drinking as an option in my head. So my feelings/need for rewards have nothing to do with drinking - that's off the table. I am just living my life which is now one in which I am healthy and aware and not overcome with guilt and shame. The absence of guilt and shame is still a huge up for me. It probably helps me that my dh has never had alcohol - just his choice - so he has lived his whole life not having the "treat" of alcohol and he has had a lovely time for himself mostly. My mum also never had a drink and I used to look at her sometimes after my dad died and feel such admiration for her feeling all her feelings -good and bad - without numbing any of them.

The other diametrically opposite thing is I say to myself of course I can have a drink anytime I want - which is true. I can have a drink at some point in the future if it seems like a great idea. But right now it seems like a terrible idea so I won't. I'm hoping I never will.

In terms of immediate, ordinary "treats", my coffee in the morning, my AF beer in a nice glass in the evening, reading a good book from the library, watching reruns of Law and Order - all give me a bit of a lift.

Thanks for replying @anewyearthisyear

That's a really good reminder re the (lack of) guilt and shame. I don't know why it's so easy to forget how bad all that is, and the cognitive dissonance!

I think I'll go for a walk and get some nice AF beer this evening. And luckily am reading a good book (and have a recommendation from some workmates for a new series to try...)

@anewyearthisyear very well put! Yes there are flat days but when you stop and analyse you’re not flat because you have chosen not to drink. Maybe you are bored or lonely. For me a real corner was turned when I stopped thinking that alcohol was the treat or go to to mark occasions ( good and bad)
Yes my mornings are now my favourite time of the day too bizarrely. I tried on some clothes today panic buying for the heatwave and my god the difference. I have lost so many inches around my middle, can wear h and m low lying linen trousers ( before they simply looked awful) so whilst the scales have moved a bit, it’s how you feel and look trying on clothes that is another win so I try to use all the wins against the temptation to drink.
I have almost a week off now but not thinking alcohol will make that better, even though I was always a “ wine in the sun” type girl
Good luck with overcoming the flatness - you will get there eventually op

Thanks - yes, fingers crossed!
Went to get the AF beer last night and they didn't have any...so spent a moment while searching in the booze section considering getting some...but just thought, no - tomorrow will be so much worse. Got ginger beer and lime instead and happy about that!

@CoffeeCupMilk well done on keeping yourself accountable x it would have been so easy to just buy the booze especially as the choice is endless but instead you played it forward and thought ahead of how you would feel today,
Such a good Way of keeping Alcohol Free isn't it, by actually thinking about how we'll feel the next day!
Always forget about ginger beer, I'll have to pick some up for the weekend x

Good morning, I am 3 weeks now! 21 days. Feeling good, looking better than I was, and the time spent at gym is starting to show results (to me, prob not outwardly noticeable). Went to dinner last night with everyone else drinking and didn't really give it a 2nd thought, even when shown in detail the wine they were drinking. Funny thing was last night I dreamed I had tequila shots (I never drink tequila!) and in the dream I was upset that I would have a hang-over. This morning I actually do feel a bit hungover, but I know that I'm not which is some consolation 🤣 I just love catching up on everyone's posts. @CoffeeCupMilk I know what you mean about feeling a bit blah/ bored, for me I think that's partly what led to drinking in the first place, with life suddenly just about parenting and working at least it felt like I was doing something, and is hard to remember what I used to do with my time. Gym is helping for me, I hope you find something. @needastrongone - hoping your friend is doing well. @PeacheyPeach I've done a few alcohol free holidays, and I prefer it, I always feel like I'm wasting my precious holidays with the low energy that comes the next day from drinking, best of luck. @Raindancer101 how are you going with not vaping? I also vape and would like to quit but feel a bit that it's just the "not- drinking" plates I need to keep spinning, and if I try to do both they'll all come crashing down, please let us know any tips you might have! @freshstart2026 I'm sorry to hear about the promotion. I can say from experience that they honestly don't deserve you, I've seen this happen to awesome people who I think were a threat to the status quo, who mostly have moved on to positions they now love, or at least prefer. I hope things go that way for you.
So into week 4. Hope you all keep strong and awesome. Thanks for being here ❤️

Well done @QldGCandproud it gets better and better.
I have a day out today. Was up and out with the dog really early now on train.
I was thinking that only a few months ago I would have been hungover as hell today. Probably would have woken up at four and spent the rest of the morning thinking up a credible excuse to cancel then spent the day beating myself up for being an unreliable friend.
Or best case scenario I wouldn’t have drank yesterday but despised e wry moment frequently berating my pal mentally for arranging the day out.
Sober for me means reliability, being able to make plans and not having to factor in the drinking, the hangovers and the dreadful feelings of being a loser.
I keep thinking lately too of times I’ve been badly drunk, friends I’ve let go and potential partners I could have had if I hadn’t been such a lush.
Happy Sunday all , we ve got this. For those that are feeling flat, it comes in waves but the waves get more frequent and your sense of well being really does improve

Morning.

Well done @CoffeeCupMilk. You are already embedding good habits there and I bet you felt so much better clear headed and fresh the next morning.

Re feeling flat. I get it. I’ve felt the same, and still do. But two things. At least you/we are feeling rather than numbing. And.. dare I say it.. life can be a bit mundane sometimes. It’s just that in this day and age, we are supposed to be making the most every second, or so social media would have you believe. We don’t let our kids be bored now. And I know this feels a weird thing to say - but when DH had his stroke and life was completely upside down, I’d have given anything to be sitting on the sofa a bit bored. Because that was normal. I try to reframe it now as contentment, or a sign that I do actually need fill that time meaningfully if I can. I’m waffling now!!!!

I hear you @SwiftyFifty. enjoy your day!

Hi all x just checking in with everyone, hopw your all doing well and enjoying the weather,
I'm just sat in the garden having an icy diet coke and it feels so nice!
@SwiftyFifty hope you've had a lovely day out,
It makes such a lovely change when we make plans and aren't spending the day wishing the day away because were feeling the after effects from the night before x
@QldGCandproud well done on getting through your evening especially when everyone was drinking ( and dont people just love to tell you all about drinking when your not!?)
It's great that you've still shown you can have a good time and get into your AF groove xx
@needastrongone you're so right life is a bit boring at times , but it's safe and safe is good!

Checking in on Day 145 🤩 the bank holiday weekend is certainly a scorching one! Has it made me want to drink.. no. I was at the beach hut yesterday with my boys and a friend dropped by with her teens, we were having a lovely afternoon and then her husband rocked up with a blue carrier bag with wine and beer - she drank the whole bottle and he sunk 4 cans quick sharp! The smell was revolting 🤢 I sat there with a cuppa watching two adults unwind and become loose tongued at my fricking hut! Then they suggested we do it all again tomorrow.. it’s made me think about how I navigate life around people who drink often. I’m finding the idea of being around pubs and alcohol a little bit off putting - the summer heightens the pressure and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. Well done @QldGCandproud stay in your lane and keep focused 👏 Also well done @CoffeeCupMilk for resisting and playing it forward! If ever there’s a wobble - I remind myself how disappointing it would be to wake up having hangover from hell and terrible regret.

@therockingbird isn't it funny how alcohol on someone smells, like I hate the idea I was sat there stinking of wine when I was talking with my kids 😭also how cheeky was your friends just rocking up with the booze and not even checking it was ok but then perhaps they thought you would be drinking aswell?x love that you have a beach hut ,I would be sat in it most days if it was mine!!

Hope everyone has had a good day, we've had a BBQ and I've had a couple glasses of nonsecco, it was so nice, this was a tesco one, actually tasted like cava, it's been a lovely gentle quiet afternoon and I've loved it,

Hello, checking in here for the first time…

Just checking in on day 142 after an AF scorchio bank holiday. I can't lie, there was temptation for a very cold glass of white wine or cider, but I couldn't be bothered to go to the shop and that's a huge win as last year, I'd have planned my days around making sure there was enough booze in the house. I feel like I have so much freedom now my time isn't spent hungover, planning my drinking or drinking and being slightly pissed. When I look back, it really dominated my life and even the non drinking days were affected.

@QldGCandproud I'm a week off the vape and doing ok but I am a bit bored without it. I was sat on the sofa on Saturday thinking, not drinking, not vaping, wheres the fun? I remember being bored back in January without alcohol in the evening so I'm telling myself this too will pass as I'm aware that vaping does nothing to actually relieve boredom, so it's my mind messing with me. I tapered it right down the week before, which I think helped retrain my brain a bit.

Welcome @WhatMaggieDid

Amazing work staying off the vape for a week @Raindancer101 !

Hi all , welcome along @WhatMaggieDid

Hello and welcome @WhatMaggieDid we are a friendly non judgmental bunch who have been through many highs and lows so feel free to read/share when your able.

just checking in to say hi to you all, another day ticked off. I think I’m starting to think of myself as a non-drinker ☺️

Evening. Checking in still dry on day 146 with a feeling of great relief. I had my bloods done recently and got the results today. Honestly I was so anxious and worried about what the results may be it was a long wait.Thankfully all my blood results came back fine. A stark reminder for me that if I was still drinking the results probably would have come back very differently.

Welcome @WhatMaggieDid this is such a lovely supportive group. I hope you find it useful.

Well done to you all on still navigating this dry and vape free life.

@therockingbird I am very jealous of your beach hut. Must be an amazing place to have.

Re feelings of flatness. To be honest it's something I've never experienced on this dry journey but some days I do find myself at a bit of a loss as what to do with myself as I now have so much extra time (which I am extremely grateful for) its like my body and mind is still used to not doing anything because in the past it would just be me watching tv or on social media hungover and feeling rough. It's a bit of an adjustment that my time is mine now to do things that I enjoy.

Hello everyone.

How’s everyone doing in this heat? What a scorching few days we have had haven’t we?

I got very close to having a glass of wine on Monday after a bit of an overwhelming day. I think if someone had poured me one and wanted to listen to a bit of an outpouring of feelings I’d had said yes being honest. I didn’t, but I would have had circumstances been different. That’s the honest truth. I’m going to have a bit of a think about why I felt so strongly that I needed a drink.

@Ladymuckypuddlewell done on the blood tests. I must admit my long term health is my driving factor re not drinking,

Welcome @WhatMaggieDid. We are a lovely supportive group here. Even slip ups are gently acknowledged and the encouragement to consider the why behind the action is always there. Hate the phrase but this is a journey (🙃) for us all.

@Ladymuckypuddle glad to hear that your bloods came back all good, and wow.146 days that's awesome x x you must feel so proud of yourself and seeing the benefits that it's had on your health must just feel better than any drink tastes!
@needastrongone sorry to hear you were having a rubbish day, it's totally natural that you wanted to take yourself out of that feeling of being overwhelmed and do what has been your go to in the past, the fact you didn't is marvelous and you should be so proud of yourself, however if you had had a drink, it wouldn't have meant you had failed in anyway, drinking does for most people offer a light relief, a buzz away from the realities of life , it's not wrong to want that feeling at times unfortunately some of us aren't the best at just keeping it at that moment xx

Day 47 for me, have been loving the sunshine, also not loving waking up with a sore stomach or banging headache!
Watched a clip of a podcast Davina mcCall was on the other day and she has been sober for years and years and she said one of the things she loves the most is that whatever time of day she is always available to help someone, a friend, her kids etc she can always go and pick them up or whatever because she hasn't drank, and I really loved that, so instead of me thinking "oh I've given up something" I've actually gained something, Im mentally and physically available for my family, which before, there's no way I could pick someone up in the evening or if a friend needed help in the night I would be over the limit to drive, all these little things are a win x

How’s everyone doing? Missing a lot of the original posters and hoping to hear how you all are?
Tomorrow is day 150 for me and lots of us ( around then or day after)
So halfway through the second challenge we set ourselves.
Im starting to enjoy being a non drinker now and really don’t know how I had the time and energy before as it totally consumed me ( I can see now)
The feeling of freedom is great and whilst occasionally you may feel flat or a bit low, the benefits really do outweigh all the negatives we all know and love!
This last fifty days has been so much easier than the first as it becomes the new norm.
My sleep and mental state are really good now and I do feel proud of myself.
So just checking in to share where I’m at and would love to hear from others along this “ journey”

Morning.

Thanks, @PeacheyPeach for your kind words. I’ve been having a think and I think it was a combination of a few of my triggers all at once and I wasn’t prepared for it. I’m SO much better now and hopefully that’s another negotiation with my brain done!

Nearly at 50 for you, that’s absolutely brilliant! I agree - it’s a much better reframe isn’t it - what not drinking adds rather than takes away.

Keep checking in @swifty. You are doing brilliantly. Perspective is a funny thing isn’t it, it’s a shame people have to experience it themselves and we can’t give them a bottle of it to take when they try to stop drinking themselves!

Hi @SwiftyFifty I'm one of the original thread posters. Day 148 for me. I no longer count every day which is great. I survived a big family birthday dinner at the weekend (I hosted) where there was a bit of wine but it didn't bother me and it was lovely to wake up the next morning feeling chipper and not worrying about what I had said or done. Also just survived dh going away for a few days - that was usually a big trigger for me to "drink like I wanted to" - meaning ending up in bed watching tv swigging the second bottle of wine and falling asleep with the light on. This time I watched tv drinking fizzy water and turned off the light myself every night :) and woke up feeling just fine.

Hope it is all going well for everyone. I don't regret one drink I didn't have in the past 150 days.

Hi all xx
Another glorious day, well done to everyone,

@SwiftyFifty love that you are starting to enjoy being a non drinker, it's just becoming the normal for you now instead of not thinking that your missing out x
@anewyearthisyear sounds like you've done so well, hosting when people are drinking can be hard but you got through it and you still kept yourself accountable even when your DH was away, when that could have been the time to have a few drinks so well done xxx

Hello, Can I join? Day 1 here. Feeling terrible today. The wine is starting to affect not just me but my relationship with DH and others. Happily did Dry Jan and continued to the middle of feb but went back to drinking far too much. So time to stop for me.