The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
Congratulations on your third weekend @MaineStorm !
Welcome @alldressedupinblue ! At over a year, I think you can be quite breezy about it: “oh, I don’t drink these days”. It is worth planning in advance what you are comfortable about saying about your “why”, if asked - with people I don’t know very well I used to stay things like “I did dry January and felt so good I kept going”; with people I knew better I’d say “it stopped being fun”

But you will probably find that most people will respond by telling you about their own drinking, in varying degrees of defensiveness!

Morning all.

The dh is back to work after a weeks leave. A bit of extra mattress for me!

@alldressedupinblue you're in the vets club now.

Congrats @MaineStorm

Not much on today just a visit from the bff. She'll try to talk me out of the kitchen.

Morning everyone, just checking in after our holiday. It was quite a rollercoaster of emotions. I‘ll try to keep it short!

I told DH on the way down that I had decided to have an alcohol free holiday. He laughed and asked if I was ill (because it is so unlike me), then asked why I wanted to not drink. I just said why not and he accepted it.

We arrived late and once we were all settled we went out for dinner at 8.30pm. Way past my dinner time! I was tired and headachey. I would normally have a drink anyway, because ‘that’s what you do’ on holiday. I got an alcohol free beer so I got the holiday feeling, without even more of a headache.

The next day it got more difficult. I felt quite melancholy, wondering what has gone wrong in my life that I can’t trust myself to have a drink on holiday. DS was being really difficult too, he often is on holiday. He doesn’t do well out of a routine and it was just awful. Normally I’d numb it with drink and get on with it. But now I couldn’t. I spent most of the day crying. Had another alcohol free beer with dinner and more tears.

The third day it continued. DS was rude, melting down and miserable. I cried. It was also glorious sunshine and everyone around us was drinking wine. That night I caved. I got a 500ml bottle of rosé and DH had a small glass. So I drank about half a bottle of wine. Then the usual feeling of it not being enough and wanting more came. But the shop was shut and that was that. It was a reminder that I can’t just have one.

On our last day, DS behaviour was slightly better and we had a nice time. We went to the shop to get bits for dinner and got some drinks. I got 3 tins of prosecco. An impulse decision, ‘fuck it I’m on holiday and it’s been a disaster’. In the end I only drank two of them, which is unheard of for me. But still, I know I need to stop completely, because as you all know it’s a slippery slope. I spent our last night crying again. We’ve been looking forward to this trip for ages and it was just shit. I felt miserable 80% of the time. DS was probably feeding off my energy too which made his behaviour worse.

I know I often drink to numb my feelings and I really struggled to deal with them this weekend. We need to go to the shop later and I’ll be getting some alcohol free drinks and other treats to steer me away from the cravings. The next big challenge will be Friday night. That’s normally a binge night at the end of a stressful week.

Oh my heart goes out to you @VillageIdiott - you sound so sad. The thing with alcohol is that it is both a symptom of sadness and a cause of sadness.

I sometimes look back at what I was dealing with when my drinking was at its worst , and think “no wonder I drank”.

I’m glad you’re planning for next weekend. Have you read any quit lit? I think @REP22 has put some excellent recommendations in her original post, and This Naked Mind is also very good. I think it’s helpful to understand how alcohol affects us because it makes sense of a lot of the spirals we get into. And post here as often as you need to.

One final thought- sometimes it helps to change our user names from something negative to positive. For years my user name was based on the poem “Not waving but drowning”, because that was how I felt, but when I started Dry January I changed my name to something based on Mary Oliver’s poem “Summer Day”:

“Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

I hope you don’t mind me suggesting this, but maybe something to think about?

Oh bless you @VillageIdiott - I'm so sorry that your holiday was such a disappointment and stressful. You honestly did your best. It's not your fault that your DS was challenging and your DH was in a pissy mood. Try not to beat yourself up too badly. Just breathe, reboot and keep going. Bloody drink - it consumes us, mind and body, even when we are not actually drinking. You might not feel like it at the moment, but you really are doing very well. Stick with it, it does get easier.

@Onewildandpreciouslife - is right; my drinking had its roots in numbing sadness, trauma and misery but ultimately, alcohol is a depressant drug and it really drags us down. If it made things better, then the happiest people on Earth would surely be the hordes of drunken folks you see coming out of nightclubs and bars in most city centres at 3am - but they're mostly not, they're falling over, fighting, swearing and crying, puking in doorways and peeing in alleys. Not so much the folks who can just stop at a couple - but I know I am not one of them. Keep going - better days WILL come. ❤️💐

@alldressedupinblue - wonderful to hear from you, thank you for posting. 396 days is absolutely epic, really amazing. Over a year and STILL going strong; magnificent. 💪👑 As our lovely shipmates have said, you may well not be the only one. But even if you are - it will be interesting to compare internally with your friends; I'll bet you're the one with the best-looking skin and hair.

Your sobriety is a badge of honour - it can also be a shield. You don't owe your friends, or anyone, reasons or 'justifications' for not drinking. "No, I'm alright thanks" when pressed to swill the grog ought to suffice. And I suspect that at least one, maybe more, of your friends will be impressed by your strength and resolve. I certainly am. You haven't come this far to only get this far. Hopefully your friends will respect your choices.

Strength and courage brave shipmates. It will be alright. x

@Onewildandpreciouslife thanks. Yes I’ve made a note of the books, and hope I can start reading soon. I’m currently studying for a masters (not very good for my stress levels) and am actually falling behind due to time lost being hungover. Yet another thing to add to my list of reasons to stop drinking! Once I’ve caught up I hope to find the time for other reading, because I think it will really help.

Just checking in. I’m sorry to read about your holiday @VillageIdiott, try not to dwell too much on it.

I have no idea how much you were drinking but if I had one glass I’d be on whatever app, phoning friends, anything to get my hands on more booze. So more power to you by having the ability to see the path you were going down and stopping. Had you not had that chat with yourself you know that third Prosecco can would have been finished. Take little victories when you can, and that definitely is what I would class as a win.

I am back to work today after a week on annual leave, it was glorious. Just into a complete shitstorm of events, back to back meetings with people you do question how they manage to get themselves dressed each day, but we persevere.

Jumping back on to say thank you for the amazing support and real suggestions you have given me for my event tomorrow. I love the idea of shipmates. Ahoy me beauties!