The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Really appreciate your advice and responses on this. Makes sense and it has really helped.

thank you as well @REP22

you are all so wise!! I’m super grateful ☺️

feeling a bit better about both things after all the very helpful advice and tips and starting to picture myself on holiday not drinking and at the party. Fingers crossed!

@WendyWagon sorry to hear about the nutters on the other thread. It takes all sorts and I’ve seen some threads get really strange. Good to be out of it! At least this one is lovely and normal

Morning all.

I did at least sleep. And I didn't hit the booze cupboard even though I was very upset. (My go to for twenty years) People's motives on social media baffle me. I think some have to be 'main character'. As you've asked a question you must want their opinion on everything including Fridays fish!

Anyway we do debate a lot here so I'll ask the lads in future.

Finally got to the shop yesterday, went to the big shop across town. Decided to stock up on some alcohol free drinks and other goodies to keep me occupied (and out of the local shop) at the weekend.

Whilst in the drink section DS asked why I always have to spend so long looking at wine. I told him I was looking for wine without alcohol, because too much alcohol is bad for your body. And he said yes, like at X‘s wedding when you lay down on the floor next to the car.

This comment totally came out of the blue. This wedding was nearly 3 years ago. I know I got disgustingly drunk and threw up by the venue entrance. And I missed lunch with extended family the next day. I don’t remember being on the floor. But DS does.

@Lavrander your comment really made me think. Yes I‘m still in the mindset of alcohol = good, me = bad. But I would never have willingly embarrassed myself at that wedding (and all the other occasions…). The bride and groom are non-drinkers, they must have been horrified. That’s not me. When I‘m sober I‘m a kind and thoughtful person. The alcohol makes things bad.

You can always ask here Wendy. I'll say if I have no idea what I'm on about!

I'm having my monthly identity crisis where I hate my hair and want to book into the local face clinic for everything they have. It will pass. Just need to avoid harsh lighting.

@VillageIdiott oh sweetie I've been there.
My infamous shenanigans included flashing my spankz at an industry award dinner.
I get invited every year, I never go.
I also lay on a bench at 3am whist trying to walk home in our previous village.

My DC remember everything and frequently remind me. DS still talks about a drunken event when he had to call the DH home when he was 7!
I have used my shameful flag points to stop me drinking. I don't want to be known for causing offence ( some people excluded me from parties for my antics). I was super upset at the time but looking back I do understand.

You're not that person anymore. X

Good morning shipmates,

Glad you had a better night @WendyWagon and the cupboard remained unhaunted. Sorry that the spectre of the ex-LL is still wafting in the ether though. Some fools are hard to shake off.

@VillageIdiott - I think almost all of us have got some mortifying hazy recollection of shameful drunken episodes. I certainly have. More than once have I sat down at an event and at some point been greeted with a version of "Oh! You're THAT REP22!!" Wendy's right - you're not that person any more. The mortification can be overwhelming, I know, especially if witnessed and remembered by close friends and family, particularly children. I've got a deeply shameful family wedding memory, extremely similar to yours. No-one's ever mentioned it, but if they did, I'd have no hesitation in saying "Yes, that was awful, I'm very ashamed of that. That's not who I am anymore. Please don't ever let yourself get in that state." Yes - your DS did see that and, yes, he remembers. But he's also seeing you choosing to be sober and different, and being honest about it. Please don't underestimate the power of the message that sends. That doesn't discount the memory, but it does fire up the respect and admiration for the life and choices you are making today.

But we can't let the clanking chains of yesterday pollute and torment our today and stifle our tomorrows. We're NOT that person anymore. We have learned and dared to be better. Now we've just got something different in our glass.

@Lavrander - I've just had a few days like that too - got my hair cut and coloured last week but still chilled to the core by the side-view I got in the mirror when I walked past. I thought it was Alfred Hitchcock up to his old tricks.🫣

Facial work rarely turns out the way people think it does. You are beautiful just as you are. 🦋

Strength and courage fair shipmates. All shall be well. x

Just jumping on to say I absolutely love this thread. You all write brilliantly. My dh of 28 years is an alcoholic who hasn’t picked up a drink since 2002. He has always said that you find the most intelligent people at AA meetings because they’re the ones most likely to have the self-awareness to realise that drinking isn’t for them. He knew that he would lose everything if he carried on the way he was. Our life is lovely now. It could so easily have been very different. Love to you all x

Hello @Whosthetabbynow - lovely to hear from you and to read your inspiring post. I am so glad that you and your DH now have the life together that you have, and deserve. He is so lucky to have your love and support, that's a treasure beyond any earthly riches.

I think he might be right. There is definitely a certain insight to be found in folks who are seeking and maintaining recovery. Sometimes you have to get to the very rock bottom before you can start to climb out - and often you unearth the wisdom when you're scrabbling in the muck at the bottom of the pit.

I'm glad you're sailing aboard with us. x ❤️

I really am. I look forward to the Sid updates xx

It's a case of know thyself.

Further into people's journeys you'll get told 'Ah Wendy/ X you weren't that bad'. I was, hiding booze in the sports car in the garage,topping up the bottles with water. Lying I was too tired to drive home (drunk at the bffs).

I'm not a puker but bloody hell I could eat four packets of crisps to help the nectar go down. Add in a curry or a pork pie ( which I'm allergic to). I regret many things but not coming back to Mumsnet. I thought I'd be told I was shameful but I didn't and that's why I'm still here. Sister support is a wonderful thing.

When I wander lads I get my fingers burnt!

Evening shipmates
@FiloPasty i do have some downtime very soon and have put my big girl pants on and said no more!
Sone fabulous advice on here about managing the summer months and holidays! What a shame not everywhere on here is so helpful @WendyWagon Who knew asking for advice on moving would be so fraught with peril?!
Ive started watching Half man on the Iplayer. It’s the baby reindeer chap and its unsurprisingly rather dark and disturbing tbh but will see how it goes!

I could only watch one episode of that @Carpetburn. I just found it too stressful!

Hi all, I need to catch up with this thread. I'm not sure what happened as I was doing well, but then I had a whole week of very low mood. I started drinking again which was a terrible idea, because the depression and drinking just reinforce each other in a vicious circle.

I'm now two days sober again. I'm still not feeling great. I'm so disappointed in myself for relapsing over and over again.

I did do what @Carpetburn mentioned and write down a list of symptoms I experience when drinking / withdrawing from alcohol, so I can look at those whenever I'm tempted to pick up a drink. It's a pretty bleak list; I'll put it here:
Physical:
nausea, brain fog, fatigue, headache, queasy stomach, acid reflux, tremors, the shits (!), sweating.
Mental:
anxiety, fear, depression, low self-esteem, self-loathing, restlessness, lack of self-confidence.

Yeah. I'm sure I could think of more but that's enough to go on. Sorry again for the bleakness. I just have this crazy mind that means whenever I start to feel better, all the above symptoms seem unreal to me.

I've started teaching again and I'm really not in the right state of mind for it, but it definitely gets me out of myself, which is great. I had the loveliest seminar today with a group of first years. They were just super chatty and brimming over with ideas. I felt so grateful to them. It's late in the academic year, so they're not shy any more and my job is much easier.

I looked at my diary and I do seem to have a pattern of relapsing the week before the teaching term starts. It must be anxiety-related. At least when the term actually starts, I feel better.

Anyway thank you all for being here and I'm sorry to have gone AWOL. I'm going to catch up on the thread a bit now.

Ahoy there!

Just checking in... It's coming up to my actual birthday which is just one month before my sober birthday - almost 2 years now.

Good to see all the old "faces" and some new on here too.

Much happening here, some good, most very tough. Big life changes coming and a potential cross country move on the horizon. Don't want to give too much away but I might need to change my name from East to SouthWest.

In bed with a horrible cold at the moment after completing London Marathon on Sunday on too little training.

Hope everyone is keeping well and will go and catch up with the thread properly now.

@WendyWagon well done for not drinking despite your stress about the house! It's too bad your MN thread turned toxic. I've said this before, but when my mood is low I often get sucked into posting on MN on threads that are not supportive (unlike this one). It's insane how vitriolic and accusatory some people can be. I honestly need to avoid all MN threads apart from this one, especially when I'm feeling depressed. I get sucked into the negativity of the conflict despite myself. Anyway, I really hope a buyer will come along soon! I'm sure your house is lovely. It sounds like the dodgy real estate agents are adding a big extra level of stress.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I also love your username. And it's a good point about naming yourself something positive. When the new thread starts I think I'll go for a more positive username than the one I have currently 😂

@Whosthetabbynow thanks for the inspiring post. I've also been endlessly impressed by the people I've met in AA and NA meetings. Apart from, dare I say it, Russell Brand 😂(I only ever saw him at one local meeting, TBH, but he behaved a lot like a celebrity, and now that he's busy flipping through giant bibles, I've REALLY gone off him. However I digress.)

Hugs to you @VillageIdiott as I could tell similar stories about my parenting failures when drunk, especially with my older DS. It's awful to look back on. Alcohol definitely turns us into the worst versions of ourselves. The thing is, when we get sober, our DC have new layers of positive memories to lay over the old ones. In AA they say that the best way you can make amends to your loved ones is just not to drink. I have to remember that.

I actually feel better now just from posting here again. Love to all xxx

Congratulations @EastCoastDamsel , I remember you! Doing the marathon is impressive and two years of sobriety is even more impressive.

I remember you had a lot of stressful life circumstances when you last posted, and it sounds like things are still in a state of flux. It's wonderful and inspirational that you've held onto your sobriety. Best of luck with it all!

Hello @EastCoastDamsel ! Many congratulations on the London Marathon👏👏

Morning all.

We've bright sunshine here.

@EastCoastDamsel you'll be heading near me and a few others. Congrats on the marathon. I had never done one. Mid distance runner but boy do I miss it.

One of our grand neighbours has obtained planning for a festival this year. Rather than moaning I might go as long as I have a chair. Never been to one. I can pop home for the loo.

I have a meeting with a declutter/ organising lady tonight. I hope she can help.

Quacks for me this morning so the consultant can judge my results. There aren't any so here's hoping they award me the big guns.

Morning all.

Good to see you back @elusivehope

A proud moment I want to share. Met up with some other parents and kids today (we‘ve still got school holidays). Glorious sunshine. At about 4pm one mum suggested to go to the cafe for a coffee. I already decided I didn’t want a coffee, but an Appletize. Sat down and that mum said it was such a lovely sunny day, she‘d have a glass of white wine. Another parent said oh what a good idea. Normally this would be my ‘permission’ to get a drink without looking like a boozer- someone else suggested it, after all. I had a wobble. The waitress came and I ordered an Appletize. I was actually really thirsty anyway- I’ve realised I often order alcohol for the sake of it, and don’t listen to my body. Like if I’m tired, thirsty or a bit under the weather, I would always choose alcohol first.

We left about half an hour later, and had to pop to the shop. Which I’ve been trying to avoid. Had a quick look at the booze, told myself a firm NO, grabbed what we needed and left. Got home and have opened a non alcoholic white wine. It’s not the same but it’s ok.

I can see now I need to take this one day at a time and be prepared for challenges along the way.

Oh well done @VillageIdiott first temptation. I'm so proud of you. Go girl.

Yay @VillageIdiott progress indeed and it’s so helpful to post we’ve all been there x
Im seeing a lot of first beer in the garden and sat outside the pub posts and right now I just feel free of the trap, you’ll sleep better tonight too.

Lovely to see you @elusivehope and while you have to go back and read what you wrote before you think “sod it one won’t hurt”it’s definitely pulled me back from the brink on many occasions. It’s so easy when we start to feel better to tell ourselves it wasn’t THAT bad! Keep going. It gets easier. There was a great post ion here from Claire pooleys book about obstacle courses and never getting to the bunnies in the field because we keep resetting the obstacle course. I’ll try to find it!
@EastCoastDamsel congratulations on the marathon! Was it hot?
Fantastic achievement @VillageIdiott and not an easy situation to manage when others have “just one”! You must be chuffed to bits.
@Lavrander I watched something else in the end. I think it will be a tough watch so turned my mind to race across the world which is a gentle watch!

That's fantastic, @VillageIdiott , bravo to you!

Glorious sunshine here today as well. I had a very long work day but mercifully had no cravings. I'm still ridiculously tired all the time. I think I need to see the GP and get blood/iron levels tested maybe.

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife and @Carpetburn for the encouraging words. I'm definitely in a recurring cycle that goes like this: stop drinking for a few days, immediately feel loads better, get anxious/stressed about something and have a couple of drinks, go back to having 4-8 drinks daily, start feeling increasingly physically and mentally poorly, manage to stop drinking and weather out the nasty withdrawal symptoms, start feeling loads better... and then I do the whole thing over again. It's pure insanity. I think I have very poor impulse control.

So it's definitely worth reminding myself of how once I do pick up a drink, I'll be back at the lowest point in the cycle again before I know it.

I've managed to do quite a few AF days over the past months, but even when I'm not drinking, I'm just thinking of alcohol all the time. I hate the fact it takes up so much mental space. When I got sober properly (years ago now) I got to a point where I just stopped thinking about drinking. It was amazing. That's what I want to experience again.

@WendyWagon a festival within easy reach of your home loo sounds perfect! I'm not a camper or a festival goer. I go to one local 'family' festival per year and stay two nights (in a ridiculously expensive hired bell tent, cough cough) for the sake of DS2, who sees it as one of the highlights of his year. The worst thing about it IMO is the stinky compost loos (it's an eco-festival). This exciting event is coming up soon. God grant me strength.

Speaking of festivities, there is a big one in my city tomorrow, and there will be loads of music and drinking from the early hours of the morning onward. Happily I'm not teaching till the afternoon, so I will be spared a roomful of exhausted, slightly inebriated students (some of them stay up all night, so morning classes in previous years have been interesting). It's a bit worrying how many traditions around here are heavily booze-fuelled.

As always I'm very grateful for this thread; I've been more honest here than I have been able to be anywhere else.

IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you tomorrow!)

Just here to say I’m still here. Everything has been crazy busy and I have been quiet as I don’t want to post about myself when I haven’t had time to read the thread but just wanted to report am still hanging in there. 4 months since I stopped. A third of a year. I would never have believed I had it in me. Feeling mostly really great at the moment.
Sending you all strength and love.