The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Hello shipmates, just back from hospital. Eye very much recovered, hurrah! I can start reintroducing contact lenses again. Am left with bad scar on the eye (non-visible and harmless) and took my b~ll~cking for former laxity with contact lenses like a big girl. I will do better in the future; I wouldn't wish to ever endure this again.

There was an utter kn~bjockey in the waiting area, very loudly holding forth about how awful the NHS and all Drs and nurses within it were, which bled into politics, royalty and religion (you could tell where it was going). An extremely elderly gent also in the area quietly, respectfully and with great wit took him down on every point. It was unexpected mastery and very, very satisfying to behold. Mr. Omnirant was utterly silent by the end, without the satisfaction of a fight, because there was no arguing with each reasonable point the older chap quietly made. He wasn't in my eyeline, but I heartily cheered him on.

I'm so glad to hear your German friend made it through the op OK @WendyWagon - what a relief. Bit baffling about the cottage and EAs though - hopeful that it will be resolved in your favour.

Well done on making it through the storm @FiloPasty and @Blueskysarecoming - you are mighty. x

Onwards with strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Oh, I wish I'd been there, @REP22 😎. Elderly Gent sounds like my type of chap, and I can't help hoping the 'awful' doctors and nurses had no choice but to give Mr Omnirant some painful investigations.

It's great to hear your eye is on the mend, too.

I hope the cottage issue is sorted soon, @WendyWagon. What's the difference between a cottage and a house? I imagine cottages as being either hovels in history books or very glamorous places where people like Miss Marple live, but I doubt yours will fit either description😂. I know you can't be too specific, but can you give us a clue as to what it's like?

How I would love to have that way with words. Not even when I replay in my head after the event do I really feel I've nailed it.

Hopefully you'll be able to come off the medication again soon @WhatMaggieDid. Lovely to have a productive day at work and prep you into the weekend.

I've poured myself a Crodino with ice and a slice of orange. Had lunch out in the sunshine and had a AF Heineken. I was driving so not tempted but I don't think I would have been anyway. We had a lovely time regardless.

Hard won friday. Did it. Looking forward to a peaceful saturday morning. X

Morning all
Huge win @Blueskysarecoming - enjoy your beautiful Saturday morning!

Good morning all.

I was up earlier than the DH so I had stronger Yorkshire tea (he puts too much milk in).

I'm glad the eye is getting better @REP22

I'm turning into Father Christmas with having no hormone making plumbing. I think I'll have some treatment in the summer. Must maintain the face if nothing else.

The DS is here for the weekend feed.

Cottage or house? @ShyMaryEllen I don't mind either but I love a thatch. My grandfather had a thatched farmhouse but that gig would be too big for me now.
The part house in the village is definitely not a cottage. It's got coving and corbels. The original dream cottage (the one I can't get the owner to sell) is story book. Thatch, inglenook, apple tree and wisteria. I'd never leave that.

@Onewildandpreciouslife its been so worth it! Beautiful day. I was a big runner (regular half marathon and occasional marathon). But drinking made me inconsistent and peri has also impacted. Slow 5k this morning was amazing. Felt like such a gift to myself.

BBQ later. Another challenge. I have some new CBD drinks, and will change our sheets so I can climb into lovely fresh sheets later which I will want to be sober to appreciate.

Hope everyone is ok. Pleased your eye is improving @REP22.

Ah @Blueskysarecoming - the difference in running when your legs aren’t heavy from dehydration is amazing! I’m struggling with my running a bit at the moment because of the medication I’m on, but my runs are the highlight of my week.

Good luck with the barbecue- just think how happy you’ll be when you get into those sheets sober tonight!

Great news on your eye @REP22 abd it sounds like the older chaps measured responses to the ranty man almost made the visit worthwhile!
So glad your friends update is more hopeful @WendyWagon
Nothing to report from me so far today! Which is just as I would wish it!

Evening shipmates,

On late, as Sid and I have been out to a cricket match. Lovely.

@Blueskysarecoming - sounds like a lovely day you've had. I'm not a runner myself, like you and @Onewildandpreciouslife - the only time you'll find me running is if something with MASSIVE teeth is chasing me. But I genuinely relish a lovely walk of many miles. Clean sheets are a real treat too, such a lovely feeling. In these small things lie our true treasures. Enjoy ❤️

Might be able to get some decent seasonal work in, come December @WendyWagon 😉 In all seriousness though, I think there are plenty of options available. M goes to a local lady for sugaring treatment every eight weeks. She used to go more often, but the need decreases as the treatment takes effect. Very reasonably priced. If it's any consolation, a traffic Police officer once pulled me over because he thought I had a child in my car who wasn't wearing a seatbelt. It was actually Betty the Giant Schnauzer dog, who I used to regularly dog-sit. His shriek when he looked into the car window was epic in the extreme, accompanied as it was by him leaping backwards by about 3ft. He let me go on my way, which I did, cackling heartily to myself - until it dawned on me that he had mistaken a giant hairy hound as my child. More than sugaring needed to sort THAT one out.

Actually, I was probably lucky not to have been arrested. When he said "it's a dog!" I confess, lads, that I was unable to censor myself. I replied "yeah - she's got my eyes and her father's tail. We're very proud."

I don't think he can have heard me because he just muttered "I'll let you get on your way, madam." and scuttled back to his motorbike . I can't help myself sometimes.

My suspected "daughter". Only marginally less-hairy than myself. The apple never falls far from the tree...:

Betty is lovely, but yes, undoubtedly hairy😀

I've just got in from a comedy night, which was ruined by a table of very drunk women who talked (as in chatted loudly to one another) throughout, and got very surly when asked more than once to STFU by the MC. They were embarrassing, particularly as stand up comedy must be insanely difficult to do, and this was a local gig with no big names. There was also a hen party, who were also drunk, but less lairy and better humoured, so the performers could work with them when they risked getting OTT.

At the risk of sounding po-faced, I really wanted the first lot to be thrown out, but I understand why it didn't happen (small town, venue relies on locals to buy coffee and lunch in the daytime and wine in the evenings, plus the fact that ejecting a table of drunken menopausal women would be 'an incident' that would be very tricky for the amateur-looking security guys and would live on in local lore for generations). I don't think I'll go back, as I didn't enjoy the experience, but it's a shame, as it's good to have things to do in the evenings that are walking distance from home, and if more people boycott it and it isn't profitable the venture will fail.

Good morning all.

Son here for a roast. Yorkshire to be made.

I shall be checking plants.

I'm thinking of having a new kitchen anyway. I've found an ex display with a wall oven I'm desperate for. My boys would put it in, no bother.

I've had the worst response to any house I've owned including the 2008 crash. I've missed some smashing houses as you know lads. I've got to get this one sold as the stairs are seeing me off.

Morning shipmates, just catching up.

@WendyWagon hope you get some clarity on the house soon.
@VillageIdiott welcome!

A good way to deter yourself from spurious 'popping out to the shop' episodes in the evening is to change into nightwear and cosy dressing gown once you know you don't need to go out again.

I had a lovely day yesterday - went for a nature walk in some woodland about an hour away. It was finally, gloriously, properly warm and sunny and I was able to bare my shoulders for the first time this year. Also had my first ice lolly of the year 😃Annoyingly I got a blister from the summer shoes I wore all last summer with no issues at all, but other than that I felt great for so much natural vitamin D!

Cloudier and overcast today. I'm going to watch some of the London Marathon on TV in an utter couch-potato way and hopefully get out of the house this afternoon.

@VillageIdiott I totally second @REP22 's advice about weight management. When I quit, I gave myself permission to eat what I liked as long as I didn't drink. I replaced the booze with giant bags of Doritos and chocolate on Friday/Saturday nights which were my old binge drinking nights. My weight (overweight at the time) stayed the same, which shows how many alcohol calories I must have been consuming (and then wondering why the scales didn't shift when I'd been otherwise calorie counting all week).

Once I felt strong enough, I tackled my eating habits and I was amazed how easy it was to maintain a steady loss without alcohol derailing it, whereas before I had been continually stalling and losing and regaining the same 5 lb or so. Ditching the booze also eliminates hangover eating, and the lack of exercise that can result from lying on the sofa all weekend feeling tired and remorseful after a binge drink.

My weekend treats are now 'posh' fizzy drinks, AF wine, rose lemonade, fruit presse - I enjoy choosing what I will have and gain a sense of satisfaction from walking past all the booze in the supermarket.

Just remember, one thing at a time, you have all the time in the world to lose weight, being overweight or over your personal ideal weight will not damage you anything like as much as the booze.

Why isn't it selling, @WendyWagon? Is it the market generally, or something more specific? If it's just the stairs, is there somewhere you could put a lift? I haven't seen them in action, but the ads say they are unobtrusive. I guess that depends on the layout of the house though, and whether there is an unobtrusive place to put one😀. If it's market conditions stopping the sale, maybe it would help you to live there until things improve, and it would be cheaper and less disruptive than getting a new kitchen and selling.

@ShyMaryEllen I've absolutely no idea why we're not getting any interest.
Other smaller houses have sold at the same price but I have a small kitchen. 10ft, adjoining breakfast room.
We had 1300 views in online and no in person walk rounds this time.
We've got antiques in a modern house, that's it. It photographs dark I suppose. It's a South West facing house.
The local agent I didn't give the instruction to is particularly rude about it. He hates it, thinks it needs updates ( the bathrooms are done bar a bath panel) hence the kitchen question. I can't access the units due to my illness. Everyday is a struggle.
It is enough to drive me to drink I'm so worried.

Hang in there!! I’ve heard the market generally is bad atm. But hopefully will improve once this settle in the Middle East. I know that seems far away ATM but it’s having an impact on the mortgage market plus the new renters rights act. Things need to settle on both fronts and the frankly I think the government needs to do something to put some steam back into the housing market. They have a vested interest to do so, but are understandably occupied with other things atm. Hopefully things will turn around in the coming months.

sending hugs and strength to you at this time. And you never know the right buyer may just come along

@Sunshinebound99 thank you so much for the kind words.
We're trying to downsize as I'm only working ad hoc. My two year illness has changed our position and access to reasonable mortgage rates. I can't even remortgage.

Both new to the market properties I viewed sold within 4 weeks. They were both a third cheaper than our house but much smaller. We could fit in and it would have been either or. The agents are really competitive and unethical around here. Cross them and you're in trouble.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Hopefully you have access to the personal independence payment from the government? I was reading about this today.

most places do sell eventually and this is a very hard time to sell but it will eventually improve I expect. I’m not sure if you’re able to hold out a bit longer until it does. When we previously lived in London I recall a lot using purple bricks with some success to skip the agents. Maybe an option if you haven’t looked into it?

Good evening! Long time lurker here. I love the positivity of this thread.

I wonder if you could advise me on how you cope with seeing old friends for the first time since getting sober? I’m 396 days booze-free and I’m seeing them for a mini reunion which is just “drinks”. I’ll be the only one not drinking and I’m scared that I’ll be tempted. Thanks for listening.

Can you get there a bit early and buy yourself an AF drink? Up to you if it's lime and soda in a pint/half pint glass, AF beer or sparkling water with ice and a slice in a gin glass. Then either continue to get your own or just ask for what you want if you are drinking in rounds. By then any awkwardness should be over, and you can say something like 'Just sparking water for me please', as breezily as possible. Drinks are so expensive now that a lot of people prefer to avoid drinking in rounds, so it may not be an issue to get your own.

There will probably be at least one driver, and the truth is that most people don't care whether others drink or not. It's quite normal these days for people to abstain. We've all noticed that it's when people are concerned about their own drinking that they prefer others to drink with them - most people just aren't bothered either way.

Enjoy your night, and welcome to the thread!

Welcome @alldressedupinblue! Nearly 400 days is impressive 👏👏👏

My guess is that you won't be the only one - it's becoming so common. And people stop for all sorts of reasons...

Welcome @alldressedupinblue what an achievement. Where’s the venue? If at someone’s house I just take my own these days as I know it’s unlikely to be catered for. We have a hobby group of 15 of us (all women in their 40’s & 50’s) and I’m the only non drinker. Lots of them don’t drink much, but definitely some fish in there.
Have you seen many changes, I find I get a fair amount of questions because I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and just look loads happier & healthier. Questions aren’t always an interrogation, sometimes it’s just a healthy interest. You can do this!

Evening Shipmates,

Just checking in on Day 18. 3rd sober weekend in a row. I can't believe I'm doing it!

Had a family birthday get together yesterday afternoon, drinks and buffet in the hosts garden. Mostly all drinking alcohol.
I bought some AF rosè wine to take with me. A fleeting thought passed through my mind of missing out, but I wanted to be sober more.
I had a great time.

My sleep has already improved so much. Always struggled to fall asleep and now I'm falling asleep so much quicker and sleeping all night.

This weekend has by far been the easiest so far.

Hope everyone has a lovely sober evening, sleeps well and wakes feeling amazing!

Welcome @alldressedupinblue nearly 400 days is impressive! I can't wait till I get there 😄