The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning, thanks for the amazingly warm welcome ❤️ It took me a long time to fall asleep last night but then I slept through until 7.30am for the first time in ages.

DH offered me a beer at dinner last night. I knew it would have been just the thing to get rid of the remaining hangover feelings. But I said a quick no before I could talk myself into it. I was so afraid the kids would tell DH I was in bed all morning. I remember my Dad pulling the car over to vomit after being in the pub the previous night. I always thought he was poorly. Now I know he was hungover. Yesterday I had the realisation that my kids will have similar memories of me (at least my oldest, he’s nearly 10).

I haven’t told DH yet I want to stop drinking. We’ve brought our trip forward and we’re leaving this afternoon. I don’t want to have a big talk with him. I don’t think he knows how bad it is. But I know he’ll support me. I feel strangely relieved that I don’t have to worry about drinking too much and feeling like crap.

I’m not sure how much internet access I’ll have, but I will try to check in when we’re home. This has been so helpful and the advice given without judgement has been reassuring.

@VillageIdiott my husband rarely drinks now, he’s seen the improvement in me and is incredibly supportive but it did take a while. My teens def remember me drinking, they’d taken photos of me asleep on the sofa and said I was incoherent, my excuse at the time was that I was just in a deep sleep. On our first holiday I so nearly drank, my husband ordered a bottle of wine and 2 different waiters tried to pour me a glass. I now imagine that in every setting like that I might have to say no and redirect 3 times, so I’m ready. I wish you the best of luck.

@WendyWagon sorry you are dealing with that but I always love your turn of phrase, had a little chuckle over your description of the sales director .

@Adsy1988 perfect weather to be off, enjoy :)

@Lavrander & @WhatMaggieDid I think we all have those maudlin thought, mine usually revolve around favourite occasion fancy wines and spirits. We’ve started having massages and going for nice country walks instead, that probably sounds boring but I’m enjoying, I still love a dance at a party too.

I just feel free and the best I have in probably over 10 years. Life changing, the first few months were so tough but now the habits have changed. We’ve got this shipmates!

Good morning shipmates.

@Carpetburn - I'm glad that you are escaping that toxic work environment, despite having fun with some of your more worthy colleagues. The misery of a toxic workplace can be all-consuming. I've escaped two utter horrors in my time, which still bring the occasional chilling flashback. Between us, I'm sure we could write an encyclopaedia of corporate horrors. @WendyWagon could, I'm sure, add some eye-popping chapters - I'm so sorry the a~se-wipe creep has been back on at you. That's horrible and upsetting. You're right - we can spot them on our radar better than before. I know I can. Save those texts - you never know when you might need them - and look after yourself 💖 Do you think you'll get your egg cups back...? I really hope your friend will be OK. 💐x

@Sunshinebound99 - you sound very wise. Trust and patience are indeed the best allies in these situations. It will be alright - even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. You may not need to up sticks and move - worry about it when the time comes and you know what specifics you need to worry about. You're doing amazingly well in trying times. Better days lie ahead, I promise. 💐

@Lavrander - what a wise, wise post. You're absolutely right. @WhatMaggieDid I know that sense of fear - a constant refrain in my head when I was trying to get sober was "how on earth will I EVER be able to sleep at night without a drink?!" It was an all-consuming, paralysing fear. But @Lavrander is right - it is not the creator of happy times, but the bystander. "You just have something different in your glass" - I LOVE that.

Please can that be our version of Sex and the City's "He's just not that into you."? "You just have something different in your glass." 💖💖

I hope you have a lovely trip @VillageIdiott and I'm glad you think your DH will be supportive, that makes such a difference. You don't need to be under any pressure to make a grand sweeping announcement about giving up drink. The repeated, quiet "no thank yous" tell their own mighty story (and are potentially less embarrassing to climb back from if you have a wobble). There are quite a few nice AF beers readily available to ease your path. AF spirits too, but I steer clear of those as I find the tastes a bit triggering. And, as @Adsy1988, @FiloPasty and plenty of others can attest to, the relief and sense of freedom once the chains have slipped is incredible. And there are plenty of years ahead to make better, sober memories for your children. Those memories that the older ones may have of you being drunk, incoherent, vomiting and unavailable will be tempered with the knowledge that you loved them and cared for their wellbeing so much that you fought back and beat the drink for their sakes. That's a wonderful gift to give them. The best memories will vastly outweigh any lingering grim ones.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. "You just have something different in your glass." Marvellous. x

I've been looking at some of Dr Alex George's video's on YouTube, all of them about half an hour but packed with inspiration and advice. He ditched the bottle in 2022 and really hasn't looked back. I tried to link to one for you all, but I couldn't make it work 😳
I'm feeling better today after a good night's sleep. I stepped on the scales this morning and I'm down 3lb already (I've put on a stone in the last month since I started drinking again). I find it so much easier to control my diet (I have a tendency to binge eat) when I'm not drinking - another reason to be strong and go for the AF options when we're out. It seems drinking and uncontrollable eating are linked for me.
So, onward and upward!
IWNDT

Will check in proper later tonight but just wanted to say day 150 for me today!

Yayy! Well done @Carpetburn - that's brilliant! 🎉 Sidney is dancing his hellacious hula in celebration. Fantastic stuff, well done you. xx

Epic @Carpetburn fantastic work x

Go @Carpetburn! 🎊

150 days! That's five months - congratulations.

I'm just back from a trip to the theatre. There were four of us, and we met for lunch first. The others ordered a large glass of wine each when we arrived, then a bottle between them. We finished with half an hour to spare so they called in to a bar for 'cheeky' cocktails then rushed to the theatre in time to get another glass of wine before a top-up in the interval. For the first time in ages I felt like a spare wheel, as I was drinking water. I didn't fancy wine, as I don't like drinking when going to the loo means disturbing people, but I was almost tempted to accept a glass just to join in (I didn't).

That sounds like an expensive day out for the drinkers @ShyMaryEllen - especially if cocktails were involved. Well done for not caving. I hope you enjoyed the theatre - what did you go and see?

I went to see Shadowlands a couple of weeks ago, with Hugh Bonneville and Jeff Rawle in, excellent. Needless to say only two cubicles in the ladies' nearest our seats.

And you were NOT a spare wheel - "you just had something different in your glass." 😉 x

Love "you just had something different in your glass"!

@Carpetburn congratulations on 150 days that fantastic! 👏

@Carpetburn huge congratulations thats incredible!

Day 11, I slept all night last night! I can't remember the last time that happened!

@REP22 i hope your eye is starting to feel better.

@WhatMaggieDid ill have a watch thank you for the recommendation.

Morning all
Congratulations on 150 days @Carpetburn !!

I’ve followed Dr Alex George on instagram for a while @WhatMaggieDid so I’ve followed his AF journey from the start - he’s a great advocate for the benefits of being sober and the social aspects of it.

Glad you got a good nights sleep @Blueskysarecoming - the healing has started!

Morning!
That does sound tough @ShyMaryEllen- despite our new saying it does sound like the drink became the focal point rather than the actual experience. Makes it quite hard them to actually enjoy the company and experience! But your friends must have felt rough and they won't have particularly enjoyed the show or remembered it which is a shame. As I was reading your post I was visualising a lot of chasing a feeling rather than actually enjoying the moment. Been there!

@WendyWagonhow is your friend?

Thanks for the recommendation on Alex George. I didn't know he was on YouTube I only remembered him from Love Island back in the day. I did love that series. Not watched it since the Caroline Flack days. Very interesting and shall watch some more.

The rooks and jackdaws have discovered how to get both bird feeders to pour the bird seed out the side so I've been filling up both daily. I'm torn between getting big bird proof feeders or just letting them use their clever little minds and continue. The little ones aren't getting a look in though. They're like the garden mafia.

Good morning all.
Ahoy.
I'm very stiff re traveling and sitting at my cousin's yesterday.
She looked amazing having been on the wli. She's given up now as she felt so rotten but the success in slimming down hasn't happened in over twenty years. We're tall women in our family bar two nieces.
It was lovely to have someone cook for me. I'm not fond of diet coke though.

@Lavrander I didn't hear re my friend and I'm frightened to ask. He lost his son to a hit and run a couple of years ago and he's really is on his own. I will brave it later.
Will look into flying out.

@Carpetburn congrats. Half a year well done.

Good afternoon shipmates,

Eye is continuing (slowly) to mend. Optician later and hospital again tomorrow. Progress positive. I shall not be defeated by this. And I shall not seek sanctuary in drink - no good will come of that.

The corvids have discovered my bird feeder too @Lavrander, although the little types are quite adept at nipping in and out around them. My M stopped feeding the birds in her garden altogether, so incensed was she that pigeons were feasting there. I just said "God loves pigeons too." which, I think, came as something of an unwanted revelation... The local corvids and raptors do an excellent job of keeping our local roads free of roadkill slurry (lots of pheasants and other game round here). Sid eyes raptors with admiration - I think he'd like to put a jet-pack on his Father Christmas List, so he could soar up and fly with them - but that won't be happening., not on my watch...

Strength and courage. Keep going. We're going to be alright. x

A good day today. Woke up feeling refreshed and more positive. I’m at work today and have just stopped for lunch. Planning on going spinning tonight before I go home - the mojo is definitely on the rise 💪

Hit by proper cravings today. Ive not caved. Ive put my pjs on and making dinner.

Triggers are just so mundane. Busy, intense day (but not difficult). Parents evening tonight for my ds). Sunshine...

Wish I had some chocolate, but I dont trust myself in the shop to get any.

Well I'm in the bath after the most productive day I’ve had at work for about a month (no coincidence that I’ve been drinking for the last month, bar the last 4 days). I’ve also been experiencing some urge incontinence again (sorry if TMI).
I’ve been struggling with this for a few years and had gone on some medication, but my BP had gone up significantly and whilst this is undoubtably a result of drinking and being overweight, it is a noted side effect of the medication too. So when I cut out the alcohol in January I also cut out caffeine and within two weeks was able to come of the medication…until a month ago when I started drinking again 🥴

I guess sometimes we have to go back, to move forward 😊

Evening shipmates and thanks for all the lovely congratulations.
@ShyMaryEllen that trip sounded like a bit of an ordeal. Well done to you! It’s interesting though isn’t it to observe from the “outside” how we fill time gaps with more booze. Reminds me of years ago when I smoked. I finally quit when I was standing in the garden with an umbrella in lashing rain puffing away abd I just thought “you tell yourself you enjoy doing this-you don’t!”. And that was that!
@Blueskysarecoming isn’t a decent sleep an absolute revelation? Hoping there’s a lot more of it coming your way.
@WendyWagon I hope your friend is ok. That sounds very worrying.
Good for you @WhatMaggieDid it’s not always easy but the benefits of being AF are often seen quicker than we think. The work stress that got me boozing in the first place then got worse as that made me more anxious and unhappy was still there when I stopped but I found a way to cope (I quit the job and the booze!).
Im so looking forward to the weekend as I am knackered as work has been so busy. I plan to have a relaxing weekend!

Bless you both @Blueskysarecoming and @WhatMaggieDid - you are doing the wisest and best things - getting in the bath or into PJs and keeping busy. I've had a strong urge this evening too. It's really horrible and hits us hard at our weakest spot.

Hope the incontinence tails off soon @WhatMaggieDid - it's really unfair to have that to deal with as well.

I avoided the shop too @Blueskysarecoming - I was telling myself I'd pop in for cheese and a Sidtreat, but I know that wasn't entirely true. Best avoided. Plenty of Sidtreats at home.

Hold On (as the Wilson Phillips ladies sang so wisely). Not for much longer. Your tomorrow-morning-self will thank you for staying true, I promise.

Here's Sid, looking up to you with love. He knows you can do it. We believe in you. Just a bit longer, and then you will be sleeping the sleep of the righteous, and rising refreshed in the morning with a clear head and a song in your heart. Well... possibly not that last bit, but you know what I mean. You've got this. ❤️ Nearly there. x

I had a really stressful day ordered a take away and sent DH to buy my 0.5% pretend wine. I know it’s not alcoholic but I do feel like I’ve lowered my stress by slobbing out and drinking the whole placebo £2.95 bottle. Now tucked up in bed still fresh as a daisy.

We’ve got this,

Thank you @REP22 and Sid, you are both wonderful. I hope you are ok @WhatMaggieDid.

@FiloPasty ive not tried 0% wine. Maybe I should give it a try.

I got through. Trying to focus on feeling good this weekend. (I missed the benefits last saturday due to a DNV bug). I think im going to need to be prepared tonight with a friday treat x

Morning all.

I slept last night as my German friend had come through his op. I will renew my passport today as I may need to fly. Big 6'7" fella brought so low. Grace of God and all that.
I made coco for the DH and I at 9pm and slept through which I don't usually do.

I'm trying to work out what going on with the village house. Not gone sstc on the portals. The signs up. My cousin who is an interior designer thought it was fab. Very me. Perhaps the owner has barred me?

I shall get the treats in today so I don't get that Friday feeling. Good luck all.

I don’t trust estate agents @WendyWagon been burned before. I always tell everyone to put a note through the door with offers and contacts and say you will go through correct channels but that you wanted to put a personal note in to say that you are committed and really love the house. Glad you had a good nights sleep too x