The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Today is my 100 days. Going to celebrate with a cuppa and plenty of chocolate.

Huge congratulations @endlesswashing 100 days feels like a real milestone x I had a starbar this afternoon, cuppa and some chocolate really hits the spot

Checking out for the night. Got through the day but horribly low mood and no motivation to do anything. I have prepared lunch for tomorrow though in the hopes that will deter me from eating rubbish all day again. I’m so annoyed with myself - if I’d not given in I’d be nearly at 100 days now.

Thanks so very much for all the support and encouragement as I go around again. You are all lovely 🥰

@WhatMaggieDid please be kind to yourself. Think of all the alcohol free days you've clocked up those cannot be taken away only added to.

Checking in. IWNDT

Congratulations @endlesswashing it’s such a milestone! Hope you feel great for it.
And @WhatMaggieDid I still counted my 100 days despite my blip. I just subtracted those days off my total. It didn’t feel quite as sweet as might have as was so soon after but I really do think it counts.
One thing we are building is habit. I’m getting into the habit of saying no, of sitting on the sofa at the end of the day with a cup of tea. And I had such bad habits to overcome!

Congratulations @endlesswashing, enjoy the well deserved chocolate! 👏🏼🥳 @WhatMaggieDid I hope you have a lovely lunch and feel better today, I totally agree with @eekwhatnow, look at the total number of days and add to it, its wonderful that the Try Dry app does this and doesn’t reset to day one after a blip. You CAN do this ❤️
IWNDT

Hi all,
hope it’s ok that I post here. I don’t want to make a new thread, not sure why.

I think I‘m reaching rock bottom. I‘ve said many times that I need to stop bit it never happens. On Friday night I drank two bottles of wine. Felt so awful the next day, yet again.

I went to the shop yesterday and decided I need to cut down. Bought two 500ml bottles. Drank them both last night. Feel awful again today. DC and I have a week off this week. Instead of taking them out and having fun, I‘m still in bed with a ‘tummy ache’.

I don’t know why it’s taken me so long but I can finally see the effect of my drinking on my kids. We’re going away for a few nights tomorrow and I don’t want to ruin it by being hungover.

Cutting down doesn’t work for me. But how do I stop? I have to ask this now while my head is still pounding. I know by tonight I’ll be talking myself out of it

@VillageIdiott you are amongst friends here. I am very early days (just 9 AF), but just want to make sure you get a welcome. Others with more experience will be along to offer welcomes and I am sure better advice.

2 bottles sound familiar to me too. Regret, starting again, again, again.... you are in a good place here.

Make a plan for tonight. A different drink. Think about the triggers and have a different plan for tonight. Be kind to yourself, whilst hard, you are starting something that will be so good for you.

You can do this.

Morning shipmates.

Welcome @VillageIdiott

@VillageIdiott welcome, I was too a 2 bottles and then a whisky, port whatever I could get my hands on. I know how you must be feeling, the first week is the worst but you’ve been brave enough to come and check in here. My advice off the bat is honestly to buy all the AF drinks I wasn’t a beer drinker but the 0% peroni is great, do not restrict yourself food wise, if you feel you need a takeaway/chocolate/biscuits etc to tide you over just do and and don’t worry about it, I’m 2.5 stone down from last September, booze and wine especially is so calorific, your body will notice the difference in calories. Lots of water, lots of patience and kindness to yourself.
Download try dry and log the drinks from the weekend and there is a section where you fill in how you feel, I didn’t do this but wish I had as I think so useful to get back on.
You can do this, for now it’s hour by hour, day by day, I promise it gets so much easier. You have all our support x

Thank you all so much! Trying not to cry.

There is an alcohol free prosecco that I like, I bought it when I was trying to cut down. Scratches the itch, especially as the weather is getting warmer and I want to sit in the garden with a drink.

I was supposed to do laundry and get everything ready for our holiday this morning. Plus do some studying. I‘ve been in bed instead. I‘m feeling better now, and promised the kids we‘d go to the playground. So we‘ll do that this afternoon. I‘ll have to do everything else later.

The calories is also an issue, my weight is creeping up even though I‘m on a ‘diet’, because I am drinking so many calories. I’m at the upper limit of my happy weight and feel so bloated and yuck.

I’m not going to drink on our holiday. I don’t want to feel like crap for most of it, I want to make the most of our time together. I’ve actually been worried about it, about feeling hungover on holiday. Didn’t actually cross my mind to just not drink, because I just expect to do it.

Thanks so much for the support, I’m glad I posted.

@VillageIdiott ive done 2 holidays now, you just need to practise saying no, rehearsing your Diet Coke or 0 beer order. It is honestly an absolute revelation waking up with a clear head, having the energy to do things, see the sites, actually try out the exercise classes etc.
I promise you it doesn’t matter what you eat as a bottle of wine is like eating half a cake!,
I also think I’ve been successful with the sobriety and the weight loss as I joined Slimming World about 2 weeks into not drinking and it’s been so helpful. Give it a go, it can’t hurt.
Keep posting, I promise you can do this x

Although many wait until after a holiday to stop drinking, I think it can be a good time, as your routines are disrupted, so you can establish new ones that don't revolve around drinking.

I wasn't aware of any apps when I stopped (about nine years ago) but I had a spreadsheet and filled in a cell in green for every day I didn't drink. There was to be a red one if I drank, but I hated the idea of having the green ones spoilt, and I didn't need to put any red ones in. Apps probably make that easier, but the psychology will be the same. Whatever way of recording you choose, you are starting a new way of life, and taking the time to fill something in will be helpful. It reinforces your determination and gives you something to aim for.

I found that my appetite improved when I stopped drinking, so weight piled on rather than dropped off, but experiences vary. If you can frame your thinking so that you see yourself as a non-negotiable non-drinker it will really help. It's when you start to think you can 'just have on' that the trouble starts. Instead of thinking about what you can have to compensate for alcohol, think of what treats there are for non-drinkers. It's a subtle difference, but an important one. You are only giving up one thing, and you can have anything you like other than that. If you don't give up that one thing, much more will be denied you (relationships, self respect, reputation, health and more). Before long, not drinking will be the new normal, and you may be surprised at how many others are with you in the sober camp.

And post on here. If you have nothing important to say, just witter on about your day, or the dog/kids/partner. It doesn't matter, as you are making a connection, and forming your tribe, so when you need us we can more easily be there for you.

Hello Shipmates,

Late on this afternoon after bonkers morning including hospital. The eye is healing on the surface but need to persist with the drops and some new ones for a bit. Happy days.

Congratulations on 100 days @endlesswashing - that's epic! 🎉 Sid is dancing the hellacious hula (nobody needs to see a picture of that) in celebration. 😀

Welcome to you @VillageIdiott - I am glad you have found your way to us. Lots of understanding, support and kind, wise advice awaits you here, as you've already seen from some of our amazing friends. We have all been where you are right now, this moment, and know how wretched, tired, guilty and frightened you are feeling. It's horrible. It might be horrible for a bit longer - sorry - but it won't always be this horrible. It IS worth it and you CAN do it. I found these two books particularly helpful at the beginning of my AF journey: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). The real, lived experience and gentle humour and honesty of the writers touched me and aligned with what I was going through myself.

Distraction is key when avoiding the call of the Wine Witch. Find something - anything - that will distract you from opening a bottle or heading out for more. I find it helpful to wash my hair and get into PJs when I get home - or at least take off shoes - anything that delays and adds thinking time onto the process of heading out to the shop. Favourite TV, binge-watching, re-reading favourite books, going for a walk, sorting a drawer, anything, ANYTHING, that distracts you from the "go on... you deserve it... you've EARNED it...", beat that down with a firm "No.", whatever turns your thoughts. A helpful "No. It's poison. It is going to kill me, in the end." is a handy thought to keep in mind. Because that's the reality, sadly. You wouldn't put it into your car - it would knacker the engine and invalidate your insurance. It's the same for your body. I promise that it gets easier.

Do not worry about weight/calories, not at the beginning. Extra weight is preferable to the drink at this stage. As others have said above - there are lots of calories and sugars in alcohol. Your body will adjust but, for now, just do what you do to get through the early stages. I mainlined chocolate milkshake at bedtime for a while, and quality hot chocolate. Whatever you need so that you still feel you're having a bit of a treat. Feelings of self-denial and penury are two of the Wine Witch's closest allies.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of drinking. It's horrible to think that what we looked at as an enjoyable companion and morale-booster has actually been shafting us behind our back for years. It's not a nice feeling. And be kind to yourself. It's not a sign of weakness, human or personal failings that have led us to where we've felt at the very bottom of the lowest rock. Not at all. It is a sign of strength and great bravery that has made you look up at the rock face and think "I want to climb out of this". Sometimes you need to get to the bottom in order to be able to reach up and out.

Keep posting here, if you want to. There is no obligation to respond to all, or indeed any, posts - even if they namecheck you. Every word and sentiment here, from everyone on board, is freely given with kindness, good faith and support and without expectation. Whether you post several times a day, once every other month, or never at all but just stay, lurk and read, you are a valued member of our crew. You might fall sometimes - I most certainly have, more than once - but there are many kind and understanding arms here who will gladly pull you back aboard and hold onto you while you wobble. And we all know that you can do it. It will be alright - even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment.

I should actually caveat that last bit about every word being given with kindness - for there is one among our ranks where that may not ALWAYS be the case... our Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid. If you tell him that, no, he is not allowed an eighth grilled chop from the all-you-can-eat buffet ("it's an offer; not a challenge"), his response is unlikely to be one based in kindness... Having said that, however, he rides beside us in support and love for all shipmates. It was his predecessor for whom I got sober - she deserved better than drunk me - and for him I do my best to stay true. He will be proud to walk alongside you in your journey too.

Strength and courage. It's going to be OK. x

Oh @REP22 that is such a lovely, heartfelt post. It’s given me quite a lift.
@VillageIdiott everything she has said is absolutely true. I’ve been here a while and have manged 60 days but have fallen since. I’m currently scrabbling around trying to get a foothold again. Nothing you say will shock us and I can pretty much guarantee that some of us have will have felt or done exactly the same, often many times over. Never feel ashamed or fearful of posting.

For me today I’m still a bit wobbly. I know I won’t go home and pour the wine but I keep thinking about good times I’ve had and wondering if I can just moderate (Plot point: I can’t). What odd is that there are a few things coming up where I feel as if it won’t be the same if I don’t drink, but also a couple - including a festival - where I really don’t want want to drink and that decision is SUCH a relief. All a bit messed up but I guess just part of the process.

Bless you @WhatMaggieDid - thank you. You're doing so, so well. I absolutely know that I cannot moderate. I think I can but it never, ever works. The only way for me is not to have any in the house. Keep going - you're doing your best and that's fantastic. x

Checking in shipmates!
Massive celebratory congratulations on your 100 days @endlesswashing you should be very proud of that!!!
Welcome @VillageIdiott we are a non judgemental bunch here! You are absolutely amongst friends and there is a huge amount of support available and tons of suggestions for getting through those early days. It’s the main reasons after I blipped in November I got straight back on the wagon!
Glad to hear your eye is improving @REP22 and the eye drop SAS style regime has reduced somewhat.
Ive been at work all day today but had a good laugh with colleagues. Im leaving very soon for a new job as it’s been a super toxic environment but I think that decision to leave has helped me no end. Plus as regulars here will know the job was the main stressor for me drinking!
I’ve been watching the Testaments this week on telly and race across the world for comfort tv which I’m really enjoying.

I could have written this! I’ve found so much of this helpful as well. The quit lit has been so life changing for me and these books in particular.

@VillageIdiottplease give them a try on audiobook if you have that. I found listening to the books such a great way to process it all whilst on holiday. Such brilliant books that don’t make you feel guilty or bad just wonderfully written, funny and beautiful. I will never be the same - in a good way.

update for those who saw my post about my husband’s redundancy and kindly responded - we are hanging in there and I’m trying to mellow out a bit on checking for updates and trying to offer suggestions on what he can do next and who to follow up with. It’s a long process and I just have to accept it and trust he knows what he is doing and has it under control. there are just very few roles around in his niche area and it will take time for things to happen. Ah well. My lesson for this year it seems is trust and patience.
the thought of likely having to relocate at some unknown time is filling me with angst as well but need to buckle up and just see what comes. How I wish I was a more laid back spur of the moment person as I once was in my 20s!

And glad your eye is healing! X

Checking out for the night. Day two done and dusted. Thanks everyone x

Hi all. Had a post whittering on last night but never posted!
@REP22hope your eye is okay and you've had a good night's sleep.
@endlesswashingcongratulations on 100 days! Hope you enjoyed that chocolate. Well deserved and hope you feel brilliant.
@WhatMaggieDidwell done for climbing back aboard. I see a lot of your conundrums in what I went through- feeling like you're not quite doing the party/ celebration/ marking the moment right without a drink?! If it helps - what I think you might be doing is telling yourself "drink is good just I can't do it" "people drink to celebrate but I can't do it because I can't moderate so I don't get to celebrate"

But that isn't what is happening - the drink isn't the marker of the good time, celebration, whatever - the marker is what is going on alongside - the company, atmosphere, clinking of the glass. Yes you've had brilliant times whilst drinking, but I assume you've had rough times as well- your addictive brain is holding on to the good times because it's an addictive substance. You can still celebrate, be on holiday, be amongst friends - all the things that bring you happiness, with all the things that actually make those moments happy. You just have something different in your glass. That's literally all it is. Just the absence of a hangover. Watch children - they don't need drugs to have a good time!

Welcome @VillageIdiott. I'll give my usual recommendation of downloading the naked mind app by Annie Grace and doing the 30 day alcohol experiment. It's brilliant.

Gosh @Lavrander are you reading my mind?!! I’ve been wobbling this evening and these have been my thoughts…
Last week was our 25th wedding anniversary and I drank Prosecco, we had a lovely day and evening. How will I have a lovely day like that again if I’m not drinking Prosecco? All our future anniversaries will be really dull and boring, we won’t laugh or have anything to say to each other.

Then you pop up with your post @Lavrander! Writing it down like that also makes me realise what a ridiculous thought it is and how it totally minimises our relationship. As if we’d survived 25 years if the whole thing was built on being slightly inebriated!!

Just catching up, well done on 100 day @endlesswashing, what an achievement!

@VillageIdiott welcome. Going sober is the best thing I have ever done, and once on the journey long enough, you honestly will question why it took you so long to realise how good life can be without alcohol in it.

Day three of my week off work, it has been utter bliss so far. I’ve really lucked out with the weather too!

Hope everyone is doing well and have a brilliant Wednesday.

Good morning.
I'm waiting on news of dear friend who's in hospital. I'm bloody scared for him as he has no one. I had turned my phone off last night after a drunk/ coked up millennial ex boss started sending me abusive texts. I tried to poach his sales director apparently. The bloke couldn't sell a drink to a thirtsy man.

As ex drinkers we know when someone's on the sauce. I've got a nose like a bloodhound.

I'm due to my cousin's but I'll see.