The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Welcome @Blueskysarecoming. I hope HRT is helping you. The heaviness is such an accurate descriptor isn't it. Very easy to turn to booze just to feel something. I never considered myself much of a woo person but I find gratitude to be very helpful at this time, as well as being outside as much as possible (it's never bad weather just bad equipment). Also people staying out my way. I've decided that if it was a bird I would be an emu.

Welcome also @OldHattie. I firmly believe that alcoholism is always an end goal and we are all just somewhere on the spectrum of getting there. It is an addictive substance after all. I'm so sorry about your mum and your brother. You're doing the right thing getting off that road before you get there and you are very welcome here.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. @PhantomOfAllKnowledge Thank you, I hope so. The hot flushes are awful, its made me feel really anxious, waiting for the next one. So i would really be very happy for them to reduce.

Funnily enough I bought a gratitude diary recently. I need to work on it as ive been comparing myself negatively to everyone thinking im very hard done by. Whilst I've had a rocky few months with family health I generally have a good life. Need to work on that being a daily habit.

@OldHattie they sound like important reasons to stop. Looking forward to seeing life improving with you.

Welcome @Blueskysarecoming i stopped drinking about 6 months after I started HRT and both have been completely life changing, I can’t believe how much the struggle had been getting me down and I’m honestly like a new person. You’ve got this x

Same to @OldHattie lots of us come from very alcohol ingrained families, it’s such a positive thread.

@REP22 big hugs you are just fantastic. Please don’t let this get to you x
After years of working in customer service I really try and reframe interactions like this, what comes out of people’s mouths are usually just a reflection of how they feel about themselves and there must be an awful lot of pain and personal vitriol for them to behave like that. You need to know that it could have been anyone that day, that lit that very unhappy man’s fuse. No reflection on you at all x

@WendyWagon hanging baskets are my nemesis, I love them but always forget to water them! I have to set alarms on my phone, although last year I put tomatoes in some and they did brilliantly :)

@ShyMaryEllen I love you calling us your internet oddballs, I’m going to use this from now on x

@elusivehope all my friends are definitely cut from the same cloth too :)

Internet oddball is funny.

Confession, I've always felt odd.

Same @WendyWagon always just a bit weird, but mostly in a good way ;) square peg, round hole.

Welcome @Blueskysarecoming and @OldHattie

@REP22 agree with @wendywagon He was a wan*er. He is the sort of man that would not have acted that way to you had you have been a 6ft hench chap! A bully!

Afternoon shipmates
@REP22 i hope you are ok. Arseholes everywhere sadly. But none on this thread.
Welcome to all the new folks it’s lovely to meet you!
Totally relate to perimenopause and booze not being great bedfellows. Absolutely a real motivator for me as I just feel diabolical after even small amounts. Didn’t stop me packing it away for years mind you. But the brain finally started making rational decisions.
I’ve had a lovely relaxed weekend and am enjoying a new book and a cup of tea currently. I’ve also ordered myself a scarf of the witches of Scotland tartan although not likely to wear it till later in the year!
I hope all shipmates are enjoying a bit of well deserved peace this weekend.

@Carpetburn Just googled the Witches of Sotland tartan, as I like tartan without knowing anything about it - it's lovely, and the fact it is made to honour the women who perished in witch trials is very poignant. The way the weather is jumping from one thing to the next, you may yet get to wear it before this summer.

Welcome @Blueskysarecomingand @OldHattie
Oooh the Witches tartan is indeed lovely @Carpetburn and @PhantomOfAllKnowledge I am quite tempted myself.
Sending love @REP22 you are gorgeous and he is an arse. Things like that can make you feel so wobbly.
Home safely, ignoring my cravings, cleaning the house, running a bath and looking forward to an evening of tea, chocolate, telly and my book.
I will not drink with you tonight.

This is what I’m struggling with. If I never had to socialise again I think I’d be fine, but I definitely use alcohol as a social lubricant even amongst friends. I suspect there’s an element of ADHD/autism in me - it would explain a lot. Definitely one of @ShyMaryEllen’s internet oddballs!

@elusivehope are you doing ok? I’m just finishing day 4 and I’m starting to feel more level about things. It’s our 25th wedding anniversary on Tuesday and right now I feel really content not to drink. We’re going out for dinner but DH doesn’t drink so that does make things easier.
My diet has been atrocious lately though so I need to get some fruit, veg and protein in before I die of Dorito induced scurvy 💀

@REP22 Don’t let some random stranger’s poisonous bile destroy your self worth. You’re a strong, powerful and inspirational woman. Nothing you have said on here is anything less than kind, wise and supportive.
He’s just a dick.

Also, big welcome to all the newcomers @Blueskysarecoming and @OldHattie 👋🏼

Ahoy! Can I come aboard please?

Day 7 today 🎉 on my AF journey.

I have been reading the previous thread from January 2024 (the earliest thread I could find), I am now on to March 2024 thread and am going to read through them all, they're so inspiring and have helped me get through my first week.

I was drinking vodka with mixer on Fridays and Saturdays and a bottle of wine on a Sunday. Way too much and was having no memory of the evenings more regular.
Every few weeks I'd have a bottle of wine during the week as Friday still seemed so far away..

I know I can't moderate, I've tried and failed so many times over the last few years.
I have to do this.

On a side note, I got so much sorted yesterday evening ready for today and all my washing done. Amazing what you can get done when not sat drinking!

Sorry, that was supposed to be reading posts from January 2022

Hello and welcome @MaineStorm.

Day 1 done. Didn't really enjoy the vivid dreams I had last night but was good to wake up not feeling panicky.

I'm starting to think about 3 specific things I'm greatful for before getting out of bed.

Morning all

Welcome @MaineStorm! Well done for getting through your first weekend. It's fascinating isn't it that you can actually get things done. I'm still not quite used to it. My brain immediately leaps to 'you don't have time!' And then 5pm rolls around and I start scrolling if I'm not careful, which makes me a bit bleurgh. So do give yourself a few little bits and bobs to do - for me it's cooking or baking that seems to have stuck the most. I go through spurts of imagining I'll be the kind of woman who gets herself ready for the week with meal prepping and ironing but alas I am not her.

Morning all.
Welcome aboard @MaineStorm - that’s quite the commitment working through 3 years of posts! Well done on your first week- you’re through the hardest part. And yes - there is so much extra time when you’re not drinking!

And well done on getting through day 1 @Blueskysarecoming . The dreams are a sign you’re getting proper REM sleep- all part of the healing

Hello Shipmates,

Back again, ashamed of myself for having a bit of a meltdown over the weekend, but overwhelmed with your kind words and encouragement. I can't overstate how much your kindness has meant to me when I was at such a low ebb. Please forgive me for having worried you. I am annoyed at myself for getting as distressed as I did. You're all fantastic. 💖

@OldHattie @whynot90 @Blueskysarecoming @MaineStorm welcome - I am so glad you have found us. I'm sorry that you joined when I was not at my best and were confronted by that.

Bless you all. Strength and courage, and wags from Sid. xx

Morning all.

If there's any justice and Arseholeman's fillings fell out on Friday, he'll have had a painful weekend and will now be facing a million pound bill from the dentist, after a long and involved course of treatment. And it will serve the blighter right. I hope he's sitting in the chair now, thinking about his behaviour.

Chin up, @REP22. No need for shame on our account. it's good to have you and Sid back.

@REP22 no need for shame.
We must call these men out.

There's an interesting thread running at the moment on trying to get a bra fitting for a young girl. It's already been infiltrated by men.
Why are these prats everywhere?
I've retired from my career because I'm not doing anymore of these entitled tossers.

You're a lovely person and tbh we should feel sorry for his wife if he has one. Some say it's an age thing but I don't know. My dad was lovely. Yours was too I believe.
I get the distress though. We doubt ourselves when we are sensitive to others.

You need a lunch with Wendy in May to cheer you up.
Any shipmates near Oxford/ Swindon/ Winchester welcome.

And she who says nothing, changes nothing.

@REP22 Good to see you back. You write so beautifully and this thread is so interesting. Sending love to you and all your ship mates x

Thank you @Whosthetabbynow @ShyMaryEllen and @WendyWagon . A WendyLunch would be fantastic. You're all proper lovely. xxx

@REP22 You will recover from the shock of this awful man. Public aggression is so dreadful and designed to intimidate you. Don’t let his words seep in. I’m really sorry you were on the receiving end of a nasty bastard who took it out on you.
@elusivehope I do this! Most recently through a crowd of semi-pissed men when I was hurrying for the train. Never heard it called patriarchy chicken though. That’s brilliant.

@REP22 I was in a relationship with one of these specimens when I was much younger. He had no qualms with public confrontation and often acted irrationally. I’d never witnessed that sort of behaviour in anyone I knew. Should have guessed he’d turn it on me really. What I know about him is that he was deeply insecure and used bullying to get his way. Almost 30 years later and I still can’t find an ounce of compassion in my heart for him. What this prat did to you was about him, and most definitely not about you.