The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
Off to the salon this morning for nails.
The bff is driving.

No cooking for me today, hoorah.
Mind you when I move I've promised myself a KitchenAid. There's a lipstick pink one I fancy.

Lavrander good to hear such a positive story.

Morning shipmates,

I've made it to 3 whole months. Feeling proud of myself!

Welcome @whynot90

Thank you for sharing your story @Lavrander

Have a lovely AF weekend everyone x

Congratulations @endlesswashing !

Thank you for sharing your story @Lavrander . The 'needing more wine' bit rang a lot of bells. I was mainly a weekend drinker, except when I was on holiday - i.e. time off work, not necessarily going away, in which case it was more or less daily - 'weekend' though could expand to Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday sometimes ...

We are off to a nearby market on the train in a few minutes - rain forecast but supposed to clear by the afternoon.

.

Morning all.
Congratulations on your 3 months @endlesswashing !!

A lovely post @Lavrander - thank you. “It doesn’t bring me joy” is such a powerful statement

@lavranderthank you for posting your story. Really great to hear. My husband and I were so similar!

Yay congratulations @endlesswashing :)

Congratulations @endlesswashing. I hope you feel fantastic 😁

Had a lovely day and the rain held off. I found a great patchwork dress with angel sleeves in the market, it will be perfect for summer when it finally arrives.

Just enjoying some Fentiman's Rose Lemonade and browsing the Ladies Day photos from Aintree at the Liverpool Echo online - bit of a guilty pleasure, I love looking at the glam outfits and deciding what I would wear and what wouldn't suit me, even though I rarely go anywhere to 'dress up'! The Echo always has the best pics, unlike the tabloids which make a point of including rubbish unflattering ones because they think they're funny 🙄

Looking forward to a chilled night in front of the telly with a film, DH and the cats if they can drag themselves out of the conservatory.

Bonsoir mes dames, just saying hello. Gosh this thread has been moving quickly! I'm not good at the routine of posting every day or so, even though that is my aim...

Belated congratulations @TwoNicePuppies on your 100 days!

@WhatMaggieDid I haven't made it as far as 60 days in years, but when I read Clare Pooley's Sober Diaries, she does talk about hitting the odd difficult point even months into sobriety. (She's also the author who identifies 100 days as the point when you can 'see the field of bunnies' [her metaphor for stable sobriety] and six months as the point when you're actually there. So hang in there! We will get there!

@eekwhatnow it's great to see you back, well done for jumping back on!

Hello @Pinotgrigioblues your Honey is beautiful!

@ShyMaryEllen thanks for your very moving post. You have been through a lot and you so deserve some mental peace 💐

@REP22 I hope you enjoyed Shadowlands, that sounds great.

Welcome @whynot90 !

The discussion of neurodivergence is very interesting to me. It's only quite recently that I've realised I must have ADHD. I haven't pursued an official diagnosis yet, but the more I read about it, the more I recognise my own mental and behavioural patterns. Btw I'm also an oversharer who is prone to telling people my whole life story without much prompting 😂@FiloPasty your DH and mine should meet as they could commiserate with each other, ha! I used to get very embarrassed about my own indiscretions, but the thing is (or so I tell myself), kind and non-judgemental people don't mind my eccentricity much, and people who DO mind are probably the kind of people I'm not going to form a proper friendship with anyway.

I also used alcohol to make myself feel at ease during social events. As I get older and maybe a bit wiser I have stopped forcing myself to go to as many social events. I really enjoy spending time with people, but afterward I feel depleted and need time alone to recover. If I have to go to activities for multiple evenings in a row, that can be a real drinking trigger for me. So I'm much more mindful now and try to pace myself. This may seem like an obvious strategy, but I also had the ADHD thing of the future not seeming 'real', so I would think, YES I can go out and see people/entertain people on Thurs/Fri/Sat, that's not till next week and I'll be fine! And then I'd be halfway through my self-imposed social calendar and be feeling depressed and exhausted, and wanting to drink. As always moderation is the key.

I think that especially in early days, it's fine not to go to social events, or to leave social events early, if you find those things triggering.

Thanks so much for sharing your story @lavrander, it's very interesting and I identify with a lot of points in it!

@endlesswashing bravo on your three months, that's fantastic.

@WendyWagon I'm glad your DD is OK for now and I hope it's nothing serious. I love my Kitchen Aid mixer! I grew up with one in the States and there's nothing else like it. I don't use mine as often as I could do, but when I do use it, it's brilliant. Mine is cream colour because I bought it years ago at a discount and that's what was on offer - if I'd spent full price I probably would have gone for cherry red.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge your patchwork dress sounds lovely.

I'm on day 17 now, still feeling much better mentally and physically. Fatigue and weird sleeping patterns continue though. I've decided to try taking my citalopram in the evening instead of the morning, because apparently it can cause drowsiness. I've been taking it for years, so I'm not sure changing the time of day will make any difference to my energy levels, but it's worth a go I suppose.

I've had a lovely lazy week. Another long coffee with a (neurodivergent) friend today. I've realised that pretty much all my closest friends seem to be quirky or neurodivergent in some way. I guess it's an instance of like being drawn to like, ha.

Wishing everyone a peaceful night and a sober Sunday.

Hello lovely Shipmates. I'm glad to be back on board and home with you.

Shadowlands was amazing. Met Hugh Bonneville and the especially fantastic Jeff Rawle. Lovely.

Alas, today was less good. Sid and I took M out today to an NT place, and an arrogant man pushed in front of us in the tea shop queue. I challenged him and he was so very vile to me that I struggle to get over what he said.

I'm really sorry if anything I have said or anything I related concerning stuff about my actions on here have caused offence or distress. This man made it very plain that I'm not an honest or kind person.

At least Sid still likes me. I'm sorry. I've had enough at the moment. I love you all. 😞 keep going. You are going to be alright xx

@REP22 that's wonderful about Shadowlands and you meeting the actors!

That man sounds like a fuckwit. Well done for calling him out. I'm so sorry he was verbally abusive to you, but please don't give it another thought. He's not worth it. He doesn't know anything about you, he clearly had issues of his own and you were the unfortunate random recipient of his screwed-up head. 💐

Incidentally, have you heard of the 'game' Patriarchy Chicken? The original article is behind a paywall but I've copied a link to an archived version below. Most men in my neighbourhood seem to have good manners, but when I'm walking/jogging along the local river path, I sometimes have men who try to walk straight into me. On those occasions I often go for a bit of Patriarchy Chicken and refuse to move out of their way. Their surprise is a comical thing to see.

archive.ph/rgYNq

My sage advice to you is, go to bed and don't drink on it 💐

We love you and you are worth it.

@REP22 - you are very much an honest and kind person here. You have given us so much by running the thread - you are open-hearted and so generous with your time and attention.

There are many unhappy and unwell people out there. Don't take it to heart!

I for one appreciate you very much and see your goodness ❤Others will too!

Oh @REP22, please don’t let that horrible man get to you. I hope all his fillings fall out on a Friday evening.

Of course Sid loves you - hasn’t he written poems for you saying just that? And of course we all love you too. I know we are just internet oddballs, but we are your internet oddballs, and we are rooting for you. Your posts are filled with honesty and kindness - the man clearly has a limited grasp of reality. Pay him no mind, he clearly has issues to deal with, as evidenced both by his pushing in in the first place, and by the way he spoke to you. x

@REP22you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I can't think of a single thing you have said that hasn't been kind, caring and supportive. Your funny stories and anecdotes are filled with so much warmth it is plain to me that this man has made it very plain that it is he who is the unkind person.
I know it's hard and you'll be playing back all the things he said and you could have said but he is not worth a moment of your thoughts.
YOU are going to be alright xx

Morning all
17 days is brilliant work @elusivehope . I once overheard a young person on a train saying “my social battery is really low at the moment so I’m not going” and I was stunned- you can do that? I’ve never been brave enough to use the phrase out loud, but I’m much more conscious of my own social battery these days.

Oh @REP22 - sorry you encountered such an arse. Don’t let him live rent-free in your head. We value you immensely. Are you getting some M free time now?

Hi, could I join please? I have been lurking for a while.

I've always drank too much. But perimenopause seems to have escalated this. Previously I've managed to get decent chunks of sobriety but I've felt so awful its been hard to make the changes I need to.

I have recently started HRT and think (hope) that the heaviness is lifting slightly. I am trying to grasp this and make this big change by stopping booze.

Welcome @Blueskysarecoming Perimenopause does us problem-drinkers no favours at all. Not only can it increase stress levels and anxiety, it seems to escalate the after-effects of drinking, so the cycle of drinking/remorse/drinking again is intensified.

Menopause itself (I didn't give up alcohol until post-menopause) is the same and then some! It's great that you've recognised this at the peri stage and are sorting out HRT, you really are saving yourself from so much future pain. You can look forward to the double-whammy of HRT + your mind and body no longer struggling to process alcohol soon making you feel loads better.

Losing the booze helps with maintaining a good complexion, keeping your fitness up, keeping your weight healthy, getting a decent night's sleep, reducing hot flushes - all the obstacles that peri and menopause can scatter in your path are easier to hurdle without the burden of alcohol on your back.

Hello 👋

Please may I join you? I have cut down a lot on my alcohol but now want to commit to being completely alcohol free. My brother is an alcoholic and my mum also died from alcoholism. We also have an elevated risk (genetic) for a number of cancers, so I think the universe is telling me drinking is a no!

@REP22 I guarantee that if anyone was watching you in the queue, they would have been silently rooting for you - probably afraid to step in, in case they escalated the situation (the man sounds thoroughly unstable and aggressive from what you say) but silently thinking 'well done' for challenging the queue pushing, and hoping that you would not be mortified by his unkind and unfounded tirade.

I hope you can get over this. I am the same over stuff like this - there's a village near me I haven't been back to since 2023 when a man in the street randomly turned on me and started shouting because (apparently) he had misheard something I said to my husband and thought I had insulted him (I hadn't even seen him).

It really is horrible when strangers are abusive and hard to get it out of your head because there's nothing you can do - you can't cut them out of your life or do anything decisive because they're just a random part of the fabric of the world that you encountered randomly.

Remember that his words and behaviour were meaningless - driven by his arrogance, your 'temerity' in 'daring' to call out that his behaviour was rude, highlighting that he was unable to conform to basic expected social etiquette in a queue. He was 100% in the wrong and you were 100% in the right.

Welcome @OldHattie . I'm so sorry to hear about your mum's death and your brother's alcoholism. I think you are reading the universe very accurately! It's good to hear you have already cut down, abstinence is a very natural next step and hopefully you will be able to use the same coping and motivational strategies that have got you this far to become completely alcohol free.

Morning all.

I'm fed and watered and contemplating some fresh hanging baskets (I might cheat and buy them as I've had my nails done).

@elusivehope the social battery quote sounds like my daughter. Train to London or the south west? She's a great wordsmith.

Welcome to our newbies, lots of support here. One day at a time ladies.

@REP22 you are one of the kindest people I know. That male person was a wa*ker of the first order. You know if I was with you he would have been shaking in his boots! Bloody men.

Thanks @PhantomOfAllKnowledge.

@REP22, I know I am a newbie, but I still wanted to say that I am sorry about that man. I hate it when people push into queues, so good on you for confronting him. Some people's instant reaction to being called out for bad behaviour is to lash out nastily. It says a lot about him that he did that to you and says nothing about you at all. Hope you are not too shaken up by it.