The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Evening shipmates
Definitely starting to see a bit of division in my friendships of late now that the penny is dropping I’m in it for the long haul. It’s actually been a real eye opener how much of my socialising with some friends was almost entirely alcohol related.
However some friendships have been enriched and I’m doing early morning long walks and coffee with one. Going to various talks in the evening because I can drive home and new gym buddies too!
I also shared with a work colleague that I feel much less stressed since I stopped drinking. It’s been a tough week and we were talking about various wellbeing strategies. I didn’t say what a mess I was-just that I feel so much calmer and able to manage day to day stress.
Another diabolical day weather wise but all is well lovely shipmates!

Just remembered that I had originally identified school holidays as a time that was going to be difficult to not drink through as I used to always drink a bit more then. But I’m half way through half term and I hadn’t even twigged. Feels good!

@Carpetburn I couldn’t agree more RE: Work stress. I used to be so stressed with work, would cower under the covers after waking at around 4am and unable to get back to sleep. Since realised I was always waking then as the sugar from the booze would wear off and my body craved more.

Life looks so much better, and more peaceful without the demon drink.

Another very cold morning here today, but it is lovely and fresh. And the weekend is nearly in sight. Have a good day shipmates!

Morning all.

Crappy night but a clear day ahead.

I use to think the booze would help me with a difficult day ahead at work but it just made me less smart to be honest. I'd have a stinker of a hangover and tune out. If I hadn't been such a drunk I could have done so much more and not made crappy decisions.

Roll on spring mes aimes.

Good morning shipmates,

Drizzly here but thankful to be sober to feel it.

I don't know how many bullets I have undeservedly dodged at work when I was using drink as a crutch. It chills me the damage I could have done to my reputation and life permanently.

@Carpetburn - I agree with what you say; sobriety and accountability can throw people's characters into sharp relief. It's a bit like shock or grief - it brings out the best in some and uncloaks the worst in others. True friends rejoice on your success and stand by in support in times of trouble.

That's a happy realisation @eekwhatnow - when it occurs to us that we are doing it, REALLY doing it, by ourselves. You're amazing.

I had an awful night last night. Couldn't get to sleep, for a deep sense of impending doom/foreboding. I cannot think why. Then, whenever I did drift off to sleep I had horrendous and realistic dreams - I was trying to organise a magic-themed family entertainment evening but a third-party booker had engaged acts that were dangerous, hideously occult-based and outright offensive. I kept trying to cancel but was thwarted. Then I tried to warn all the families that had booked of the true nature of it and offer them refunds but without success. I kept saying "this will permanently ruin us! We cannot be a part of this!" but nobody was listening. All very, very odd. Sid was not involved. But real-world Sid is being very clingy at the moment, trying to literally grab on to me whenever he can. Apart from last night. BUT I did not think about unpicking the bafflement and dismay with a drink, and that makes be feel happy. I don't think I want to know what the dream might mean. Probably just an ill-advised bit of cheese before I went to bed.

Strength and courage brave shipmates. We can do it. xx

Dreams are strange things, @REP22. I had a very 'odd' one involving John Lennon of all people when I was giving up the first time. I won't go into detail, you'll be relieved to hear, but suffice to say it was inexplicable as I've never been a fan.

I need to get organised for a class I have this afternoon, but am fixated on the Andrew arrest news. It's all a bit repetitive now for obvious reasons, but I can't tear myself away from BBC News.

A dream about John Lennon @ShyMaryEllen - Imagine that.

Yes, very odd around the AMW arrest. Hard to look away; awful for the poor victims having to see it all playing out so slowly. I fear there will be yet worse to come, on both sides of the pond.

Enjoy your class this afternoon. x

Evening shipmates!
No rain today. And like you @ShyMaryEllen Im glued to the Andrew updates!
Steady sailing to all!

Morning all.
A better sleep for me.
Two Yorkshire teas down.

The DS gets his keys Monday (not that I'm counting!) Hopefully he will take enough furniture to thin us out a bit. His frustration when he was house hunting was always tricky.

We have to decide if we want to do the kitchen and wait to the autumn to remarket. We do have a small kitchen for the size of the house.

I'm hoping for peace today, it's been a tinder box.

Happy Friday shipmates!

It's hard to say without seeing a floorpan @WendyWagon, but if it involves extending or moving walls in a house you plan to sell, I doubt I would bother remodelling the kitchen. Kitchens are expensive (to state the obvious), and living with no kitchen whilst it gets done is hideously stressful. Could you look at marketing the house at the price you'd charge with a new kitchen and offering cashback of the money you'd spend? That would attract attention, give buyers the chance to get the kitchen of their choice (or spend the money on something else) and save you a lot of hassle. It might save them on stamp duty and you on selling fees too.

Good morning shipmates,

A better night for me and Sid; actual sleep was had.

Hope your DS will be very happy in his new home @WendyWagon. I tend to agree with @ShyMaryEllen - I wouldn't redo the kitchen. It could be immense stress and upheaval, with no guarantee that it would affect any house-ale, and you're still getting over not feeling too well. My little kitchen and bathroom were re-done by the HA about 10 years ago and the misery it occasioned far outweighed any benefits (apart from visual impact).

Evenings are getting lighter, Sid found his first primrose of the year and warmer weather is coming. Have a great weekend everyone. Strength and courage. xx

@REP22 A dream about John Lennon - Imagine that

Baddum-tish!

Hi everyone. Happy Friday.
I was in a chipper mood this morning and had gym plans but as the day has gone on and the wind has started howling I'm inclined to stay inside for the rest of the day albeit with a quick walk up the high street. I do feel sorry for dogs always having to use the loo outside. Arthur sometimes looks at me with such a fed up face when we do our high street walks - as if to say, this is BORING and wet and cold. And I think; you and me both mate.

Agree on the kitchen talk. It's a lot of disruption with no guarantee. It's tempting to throw everything at a house move but at the right price someone will love the opportunity to do something themselves.

Poor Arthur @Lavrander - I get those looks from Sid too. I had a nice walk planned but grim here too now, so it will be his perfunctory usual. I think he prefers that to getting wet though. We have an added feature in that Sid will absolutely NOT go in the garden. Completely refuses. No idea why. He is intelligent enough to be able to learn how to seat himself on the lavatory for his business; but he's top-heavy and inclined to topple. Nobody needs to see that.

The best thing is that dogs love us anyway. x

Evening folks.
Working today but visited a poorly friend who has just beaten cancer and it’s bloody back. She’s so strong and stoic it really makes me value my health more. We must look after ourselves!
Glad to hear your sons move is positive @WendyWagon but solidarity on the stress of moving. My place is old and there’s always something falling down or off or leaking. But it will be here long after I’m gone

Hi all,

Sorry it's been a busy old month but I've thought of you all. Congratulations to all who've had dates and achievements and glad to read of the successes/learnings and good news of all. I hope your results were okay @ShyMaryEllen x

I'm pleased to say I'm still going, I think I just ticked day 70 which after a truly horrendous few weeks is amazing - I've found I thinking "I need to run" when stressed now rather than thinking about a drink..which is good although the wine witch has started a little with the "one was fun..."nonsense. And I know it was never one. But I shall ignore her because life is so much better without the booze..even ATM whilst we wait to hear just how much the damp proofing is going to cost us on our downstairs 😬😬

I've also interviewed for a new role - I hear you guys who have been struggling with work lately, I've had some truly awful weeks. I'm hoping this new role might help 🤞🤞 hope everyone else has some positives come along too.

And yes, please an end to the rain..it's grim!

Hope all have a happy and sober weekend with hopefully some dry spells! X

Morning all.
Sorry to hear about your friend @Carpetburn

Well done on 70 days @ThistimeImdone , especially in the face of hard times

Morning all,

All this rain has caused my magnolia grandeflora to shoot up. I'm tempted to take it with me as it's still in its pot.

The DH is at work today and the DS out shortly. Hopefully a reading day.
The bag has come but I can't open it yet due to nosy persons. I'll get an earful!

Congrats to us all for trying the sober way.
Hardest thing I've ever done but it changed my life. X

70 days, ten weeks, that is fantastic, well done @ThistimeImdone!

I had a bit of a wobble yesterday, I knew I couldn’t drink, but it was tempting. Work has been quite rough since starting back in January and was so tempted to nip out and buy wine when I finished. I’m also having some relationship issues at the moment too that I don’t want to really go into. Ironically enough it’s to do with another form of addiction, one I have no concept of or familiarity with other than putting on a lottery ticket. So lots of learning ahead.

I am so happy I didn’t drink last night, it would have been so stupid so I’m glad I didn’t, but even though I think about the demon drink quite a lot, that was the first time in a good while where I was close.

Meeting up with some friends later, this 100% would not have happened had I picked up a bottle last night.

Morning all! That’s so sad about your friend @Carpetburn, sending love.

I’m at the in laws this weekend and had been v nervous. Mostly lovely people but there are complications and difficulties. However much easier not to drink that I thought, and I’m approaching the weekend as an opportunity to examine my feelings rather than just drinking through them, and decide if and where I need to put in some boundaries.

Passed 50 days yesterday!

@eekwhatnow@PhantomOfAllKnowledge@Carpetburn@Adsy1988so sorry for the radio silence this week but thanks for replying to my post last week about feeling ill and having to meet uk with friends. It’s been such a hectic week, but I did end up going (it was part of an overnight stay away so I didn’t want to miss out - the pub trip was just a part of it) and actually it was lovely. I had a few alcohol free beers and it helps that my partner isn’t drinking (for now) either plus we were with kids. It was so nice going back to the hotel early and seeing drunk people just starting their nights out - I felt a bit smug! Plus waking up early nice and fresh for the hotel breakfast before the rush was amazing! Thanks all for your support.

Good evening Shipmates.

I'm so sorry about your friend @Carpetburn - that's desperately unfair. I hope she can beat it again.

Great to hear from you again @ThistimeImdone and @chocopuffs - I'm glad you are still with us.

Took M out this afternoon to big M&S. All well and good. Then a neighbour called round but she couldn't hear the doorbell. So I called out from the office that the doorbell had rung twice, neighbour was waiting and starting to look concerned, and perhaps it might be an idea to answer the door. Unacceptable behaviour, apparently, for which I must be punished. I am a very wicked girl indeed.

Oh, for the advance of spring, when Sid and I can once again head out with our basket to gather slugs and snails, which we then carefully place on her prized hostas... 🐌

Strength and courage until then... x

I'm sure if you had answered the door it would have been equally unacceptable @REP22!
I spotted some blossom today - blackthorn I think. Very exciting.
Glad you had a lovely pub trip @chocopuffs. Well done on another successful step forward.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend @Carpetburn. Really unfair.
Hope this weekend goes okay @eekwhatnow. A lot of my time with in laws had centred around drinking including some moments that they thought were funny and brilliant whereas I just cringe when I think back. I'm sure they think I'm boring now but I don't care. They're lovely but yes.. complicated! Well done on day 50!!
Sending support @Adsy1988. Every time you fight that temptation is more strength to you which will help support those around you. Am sorry work is rough too.

My temptation right now is to nip out and buy a kitkat or two. I really ought to get more healthy snacks in. Weirdly on the alcohol front I no longer like the thought of wine. I used a strong spirit in a recipe the other day and was tempted. Odd because I never really liked it. Just my brain being an arse I suspect.

Sorry to hear about your friend @Carpetburn life can be so unfair!

6 weeks today. Had an overnight stay at my mum's this week with the teens as it's
Half-term. It's a fair drive and we love staying with her. Our evenings usually involve wine after dinner. I obstained and mum had a couple. She had plenty of drinks in for me to choose from and I had packed a couple of my favourites in case I wanted them. It just felt like a normal night there and I didn't have FOMO just lots of laughs and a good natter.

Oh, it's so great when you get that smug feeling because you know you'll stay fresh and alert while others will be muddying their thoughts and lining up hungover tomorrows! Really glad you had a lovely time!