Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

@Bookaholic73 hi and welcome onboard.
We're very similar. Same numbers !
And I'm struggling atm, though I didn't expect to. Dodged a bullet only this morning.
Will you go out a lot over Christmas and New year ?
Do you have any af drinks you enjoy ?
I think preparation is key. I don't go out much, but I do have a couple of gatherings I'll need to be ready for. Mentally, if nothing else 😏

Thanks @Goandygo I’m cleaning out a big cupboard full of toiletries, suncream, hairdryers, medicines, sanitary items, make up etc. it is so full and disorganized, so that is keeping me busy and I’ve made a coffee (no baileys!)
I’m totally fine in company and not drinking etc, I just totally exhaust my social battery and then come home and you’re right the feck it button is strong to just turn off my busy head.

Will keep swimming! in the words of Dory.

I've just realised I've somehow changed to a previous name - I am no longer @swimfreak, apologies for the confusion! @LillyPJ I do agree ribena isn't the greatest, but I'll try anything right now to stay dry.
@FiloPasty I hope your tidying goes well - I've worked through a few drawers in my bedroom at wine witch time this week.

I saw some 0% mulled wine in Aldi - less that £3 a bottle so it's worth trying. I tried some AF Madri lager this week. My brother had the alcoholic version so we compared them (I don't count a sip as cheating) and I actually preferred the non-alcoholic one.

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

@Crazeechick I'm not sure if you know already, but Aldi do a lovely AF mulled wine. I was going to pick some up but totally forgot!

@Goandygo yes i already have 3 Christmas parties planned (1 family, 1 gym and 1 work) and it's my forst round of parties without drinking, so i am slightly nervous that I'll decide to press the F it button and just drink. But I'mm 100% committed to no m ore drinking, so i hope i dont.

I'll be calling in at Aldi tomorrow - thanks both!

Welcome @Bookaholic73 you just need to do each one at a time, they might have different approaches, which is first? Is it out somewhere or in someone’s home? Decide on what you are going to drink and what if anything you are going to tell people. Remember the old adage - Fail to prepare, prepare to fail x You can do it x

@Crazeechick I've done half of it which is quite satisfying, what’s not so satisfying is that the other half is still in the corridor!

Feel better tonight, Sundays were always about day drinking for me, so now I’m past that and just trying to get organized for the week ahead.

Hi all, thank you @Lavrander for hosting again. I reached day 100 AF last week, then my DM was diagnosed with cancer and ive had a big fall.

I need to be accountable so im posting. I know it wont help me, my sleep has been awful, anxiety has not reduced, and I cant afford it. So back on. X

@Womanshour so sorry about your news. Don't be too hard on yourself - you've had a shock and I think we cope the only way we know.
One day ( or hour) at a time ❤️
@FiloPasty well done for ignoring that witch. Sundays were always challenging for me, too. Not sure why.

After failing to take my own advice on checking in I had a big old blip. I’m so cross with myself which would usually begin a good few weeks back on the path to destruction. So I’m posting to say “that was stupid” and “I won’t do that again because I have many resources available to me and I’m going to use them”.
I hope this isnt too miserable a post to start the day? It’s not miserable really because I’m back on the horse after a day off it. Im trying to be positive rather than berating myself and historically this is when I disappear from the forum!
@Womanshour I think it’s very brave to acknowledge a blip after a good chunk of success. Shows how vulnerable we remain. Its amazing you are back to keep at it with the rest of us. Steady sailing today.

Morning all.
@Womanshour - I’m really sorry to hear about your DM. When we get a shock like that our deepest ingrained coping mechanisms kick in, even when our logical side tells us it’s a really crap coping mechanism. I’m glad you’ve come back - and 100 days is amazing!! You can get through this without alcohol

@Carpetburn - well done for not spiralling after your blip. We go again!

I had a crazy busy weekend of things that were lovely and seemed a good idea to book at the time, but with post-op recovery added in were exhausting! But I’m very lucky to have done them.

I’m going away for a few days - this was planned as restful recuperation but it doesn’t look like that’s going to be the case due to family issues. Ah well

Sounds like it’s been a pretty challenging week all round @Womanshour give yourself some grace 100 days is amazing and bad news and illness really do ramp up the stress wheels. I’m quite nervous about hitting 100 as it’s just before Xmas and I know what I’m like. Being ill has made me want to drink all week, I’ve always equated stress, illness etc with dulling the pain. Big hugs to you too @Carpetburn

I hope you’re recovering ok @Onewildandpreciouslife I hope there is some respite in your time away x

Thank you so much for your kind comments. Just feels so ridiculous to turn to a carcinogen when you're dealing with the shock news about a family members cancer. Anyway onwards, all i can do i guess.

I will read back and catch up on everyone's news x

Don't beat yourself up @Womanshour When we have big stresses, or even great happiness, it makes us feel that other stuff just isn't important. Someone who's just climbed Everest or fallen off it isn't even thinking about what they're drinking. As with @Carpetburn , the important thing is that you've acknowledged it, taken a deep breath and come back. It's all learning.

Good morning shipmates.

Welcome to new friends. I'm so sorry about your DM @Womanshour - that's grim. I hope better days lie ahead for you and your DM. My M has had the Big C twice; it's an awful thing.

Strength and love to everyone who is finding things tough at the moment, for whatever reason. xx

Thank you for checking in guys. Yeah I fucked it all up Friday and Saturday again. Back to day 2. Spent the morning putting the house back together and about to have a rest and pull myself together essentially.

Glad you’re back @Becky3825 what is the trigger? Stress, end of the week habit, other people? What’s your longest stretch sober so far can you just aim to beat that? You’ll get there x

@Womanshour so sorry to hear that, well done to you @Carpetburn & @Becky3825 on recognised the blips and posting for accountability. Congratulations to the rest of you for staying strong! I have a plan…..I’ve told mum/hubby (enablers!) that I’m doing dry Jan in the hope that it will be my first month of AF life! In Dec I have a couple of things booked each week that will involve alcohol. I’m going to drink ONLY when I’m out and will also read Alan Carr’s Easy Way during the month. I am told that’s its best to keep drinking whilst reading it! Has anyone here tried it?

@TwoNicePuppies I've not tried his drinking book, but I used his ‘easy way to stop smoking’ book in 2010 and have never smoked since. Fingers crossed it works for you!

Good luck with your plan @TwoNicePuppies ! You will probably find one of the moderation threads more helpful during December if you’re aiming to limit your drinking to when you are out at events - for many of us on this thread, we know that’s not an option. I’ve not read the Alan Carr book, but I’ve heard very good things about it, and I hope it works for you x

Good shout @Onewildandpreciouslife best of luck to all of you for the festive season, I’ll be back aboard in 2026 with whatever knowledge Alan is able to impart!

Like @Bookaholic73 I didn't use his Easy Way book for alcohol, but I did for smoking. That was about 20 years ago. I smoked all the time I was reading the book (as it tells you to do) and as soon as I finished it, I threw away the rest of my fags and have never smoked since. I'd tried loads of times before and always failed but the book really did make it easy. Good luck.

I also stopped smoking, after reading Allen Carr, for about ten years. First time in rehab - put down the alcohol and picked up smoking again straight away! Unfortunately I haven’t felt inclined to stop smoking again, as not drinking is more important to me - even my GP agrees. But that’s the next thing to give up. At some point…

Sorry to hear about the blip @Becky3825 - but well done for keeping on trying.

I'm struggling a bit but still going. It's the law of diminishing returns for me. My body will handle each blip - until it can't. There will come a time when that "just one" bottle is the last one, as it will kill me. If we get in too deep, it's surprising (too soft a word really) what lies we tell ourselves...

Hangover from Hell - "oofff... grim, but I can handle it"

Waking up in a situation you can't remember getting into... "uurrrkkkk... never again, but it will be alright"

Just blowing under at a roadside Police stop (this one hasn't happened to me personally)... "sh~t, that was close. Best watch out. Got away with it though"

Phoning in sick to work yet again... "sorry, it won't happen again (it will)"

Throwing up and noticing blood in it... "uh-oh. But it's OK, I'll just have a few days off it. It'll be OK..."

Bathroom like a butcher's slab... "I'm not going to A&E. I'll go back to bed for a bit. It'll be fine. Probably."

And so on, as the chances get slimmer, the risks get greater and the increasing wails of the warning klaxons continue to go unheeded.

I don't ever tell lies to people IRL. But, to judge by the lies I've told myself over the years, if I was Pinocchio then my nose would, by now, be long enough to poke out Trump's piggy eyes from the comfort of Sid's favourite armchair (though I might actually enjoy that).

None for me these days, if I can possibly help it. I just don't want Sid to outlive me, you see.

It can be done. Even if it doesn't feel like it. We are not the unfortunates of life, hiding beneath our duvets behind closed curtains. We are warrior queens, sallying forth in our chariots, Sid capering beside us, fighting our way to a better, brighter dawn.

Strength and love. It will be alright. xx

I’m pleased to be checking in tonight. I have had a very difficult day today but was resolute that this evening would be doing kind peaceful things for myself. I’ve had a marvellous hot bath and have my pjs on even though it’s not yet 6pm. I often work late and then get into “you deserve a little treat now” territory. But I’m often quite frazzled by then so use the quick fix option with the long term consequences.
But tonight I’m going to read my book and have a browse at posts.
Glad to see you back @Becky3825 and @Womanshour i hope today has been a little brighter.
@REP22 absolutely relate to what you said about the law of diminishing returns. I’ve told myself some dreadful whoppers in the last 2 years and merrily buried clanging health alarms under a few days off and all will be well. I also had an alcohol related injury last year which scared me but not enough! And nobody said “we are worried”. They all said “you were hilarious” while I pretended I remembered the night.
And it’s just ace to see people with a bit of longer sobriety doing well. It’s very motivating so thanks to all who continue to share.