Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Morning shipmates.

Morning all

it’s really helpful for me to read about how one day on, can really throw you completely,

I follow a woman on TikTok who did 15 months, and for the last 10 months has constantly battled foight and lost.
it’s these moments that get me through the wine witch at the moment,

keep growing. Keep going.
day 29
5th weekend in

@Whenindoubthugitout well done on Day 29. A nice round number for you tomorrow 🥳
Yes, it's definitely best to just abstain, but also so difficult. It's why people moderate I guess, but I can't do that long term.

@Lavrander on the booze in food point - like some others this wouldn't bother me at all as my problem was binge drinking and not being able to stop once I started. Having a taste of booze in a pudding wouldn't trigger me BUT I have never actually liked booze in food! Hate liquor in chocolate, don't like a boozey xmas pudding, hate brandy cream. So won't really be an issue on that front. I would definitely put red wine in a sauce etc tho. So I think it depends on your drinking motivations and triggers

Morning shipmates :)

Ive just bought some Mother Root as the option with the pourer/stirrer and mixers now back on.

I think on the alcohol in food chat, if I’m out and I don’t know it’s fine, but I don’t think I’ll be using it in my cooking. Probably my ND mind but I’m not very good with grey areas so for me no booze means zero as it’s just such a slippery slope for me.

@Becky3825 I'm hoping you’re ok, I know weekends are hard x

I tried Mother Root last night. I got mine from Sainsbury's and ordered a measure from Amazon - I didn't see the offer until too late. I had some with soda and a frozen lemon wedge (tip - leftover lemons can be cut and frozen, then used as ice cubes) and I enjoyed it. It was very fiery, which I like, and one glass was enough, as I sipped, rather than glugged it.

I'm not sure it's worth the money though - £27 for quite a small bottle is a lot for what it is. I'm a bit tight when it comes to AF drinks, as there is no alcohol tax on them but they are the same price as the real thing, except for the very cheap 'wine', which is, IMO no worse than the £12 a bottle AF wine - that really is a rip-off. I think the manufacturers are cashing in on the trend for drinking less.

Hello Shipmates - Sid and I managed to get back from our walk before it started weeing down with rain here. Sid is mightily relieved. Mind you, if I had to wash myself with my own tongue, I think I would be too.

Strength and courage. xx

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/nov/06/price-of-everything-why-are-alcohol-free-drinks-so-expensive

Hello all. Doing well over here. I like how I don’t feel embarrassed when I take out the bottles bin for collection.

This article explains a bit why AF drinks are so expensive. IIRC you make the drink then you extract the alcohol, so it’s an equally lengthy process.

I found this a useful article as I used to get irritated by it. Now I figure that I would easily spend more on something that was literally poisoning me so I don't begrudge spending money on something I enjoy and keeps me off the booze. Plus I drink it much slower so can last months rather than weeks (or days 😳)

I just object to the way sobriety has an industry built around it. Quit lit, paid-for apps and so on, all seem to capitalise on the misery of others. I get that producing decent AF drinks needs R&D, branding, marketing etc, but I don't buy the line that it costs as much as the 'real thing', if only because of the absence of tax.

Having said that, I did and do buy it, and can't see myself stopping, as I don't like sweet drinks, and I do like something 'adult' to relax with in the evenings. I'm absolutely part of the problem.

Evening shipmates. I’ve had a crazily busy work week and pretty much went to bed as soon as I finished last night. Then today I’ve been out and about. Just tucked up now watching bad telly with the dog and have a cup of decaf tea to keep me company. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. @Becky3825 hope you’re doing ok. I’ve bounced in and out of this space a few times in the last 2 years but think I might have finally clicked that checking in even if it's to start again seems to help.
i had an AF Xmas last year and am planning the same this year!
I attended a work event this week and was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who weren’t drinking. I have never drunk at work events anyway (I was a lonely solo drinker which is when I really started to think oh dear this isn’t very good) so knew I’d be safe but having company that was also not drinking was lovely!

Wow that Guardian article has some really salty people in the comments doesn't it. So many of them seem offended that there are people that want to drink something other than alcohol or lime and soda. I had to stop reading it as it was giving me rage.

Just checking in to say hi to the regulars, was on this thread back in the summer and it saved my sanity when I was initially off the booze.Still going strong at 7 months.
These sober months have been mainly great but not without their challenges and I'm now in a space where I'm faced with confronting the uncomfortable feelings which drove my binge drinking in the first place.
Anyway,plenty to be proud of and I know that every day I don't drink I'm prioritising my health and my family :)
Great to see some familiar names here.I too am excited about the mulled alcohol free drinks :):)

Thanks so much @Lavrander for the new thread, and for steering the ship again! I really appreciate it.

It's been a week since I posted; I want to be posting more regularly, but it's hard as I'm just so tired. I can't wait until my uni term is over in a few more weeks. I'm still sober though (12 days) and the feeling of being tired but sober is so much better than my usual feeling of being tired, headachy and hungover.

I've pretty much caught up on all the teaching hours I missed when I was ill two weeks ago. Now I just have to catch up on the everlasting backlog of marking and email, sigh. But I don't have the all-too-familiar sense of blind panic, so that's good. I'm realising that the sense of panic was mostly induced not by circumstances but by the actual drinking.

Thanks so much to the people who offered kind words to me on the last thread! By the way @FiloPasty you said, Not to be too woo but I’ve always been a very empathetic person and I feel like I soak up any bad/good energy around me. I identify with this a lot. I think it's partly the result of behaviours learned in childhood; I'm hypervigilant and if I have the sense that someone around me is unhappy, I automatically start to worry and think it's my job to make them feel better. I'm getting better at detaching though; at least I hope so. I know I get overinvested in relation to my students sometimes, and it's not helpful for them or me. By the way, that student who was struggling so much (and pretending to be in residence when she wasn't) has decided to suspend and return in the next academic year. She seems really happy with her decision, and I'm happy for her. I do feel enormously relieved.

I agree that AF drinks can be fantastic. However, I'm primarily a day drinker and would drink small amounts all day long at work in order to make it through the day. (God that sounds awful I know. Needless to say I felt like shit every evening!) And AF drinks during the day don't really appeal to me. I was drinking purely for the sedative effects. I can use AF drinks as something to look forward to in the evening though.

Massive congrats to you, @taylorean and @horrorfan81 on your sobriety milestones!

@ShyMaryEllen so sorry to hear that you're in limbo a bit over the drug test. I'm sure the most likely outcome is that all will be well, but I can imagine the frustration and anxiety. You have helped so many people on these threads; it has been super helpful for me to read someone writing honestly about liver issues and so on. You should be proud of how far you've come.

@REP22 I'm sorry you're still feeling poorly. I hope that with Sid's support you return to your normal self soon!

@Becky3825 I'm also thinking of you.

Welcome to the newcomers and sorry not to tag everyone. Hopefully I'll be better at keeping up with the thread this week!

Btw @Gribouille I love your username!

Thanks everyone. I have been out Friday and Saturday night and it’s shown me I can still have a great time without drinking. I haven’t been out without alcohol since lockdown. This has been a massive wake up call for me. I’m so grateful for the chance. I don’t want to go back to drinking. I am really enjoying sobriety and learning a lot along the way.
plus my elder two children now don’t have to watch me drink every night either. So glad I found this thread

I’ve had quite a challenge this weekend staying over with uni friends. Big drinkers (plus some extra substances!) weird conversation with them around not drinking.

Managed to get through with Nozecco and 0% peroni. Seems less obvious than Diet Coke- more like you’re blending in with everyone else and still part of things. And yes you’re right I want a grown up tasting drink!!!

(56 days and going strong!)

Morning All! Friends are arranging a group meal and sent out a few sample menus so we can decide where to go. One place has a special 'Ladies Night' once a month when they have half price gin and prosecco. I will not be voting for this one and I wouldn't even if I was a drinker.

Even when I was a drinker I never particularly liked that sort of thing, and the marketing to women is particularly icky. It's hard for the hospitality industry so I don't blame them as such, I just wish it wasn't such a draw.

Well done @BountifulPantrythat does sound like a challenge. It does remind me when I was younger and my post grad uni did a survey on drinking which I filled in all pleased with myself that I hardly drank at all. They didn't ask about the other stuff! My poor young body and mind - how I would fool myself.
Also well done @strawberryandtomato- I do think that going out still (if you can still stay sober) is a really good way of quickly learning that you're not missing out. I do think that's helped me stay off it since June.
I'm pleased to see you post @elusivehope. It's completely up to you of course - it's just one of those where you worry when you haven't seen someone in a few days!
Congratulations on 7 months @Teaforthetotal. Prioritising our loved ones and ourselves ❤️

Wishing a good day to everyone. I had a productive day yesterday and got lots of cleaning done. House smells of wet dog though after 3 very soggy walks but I don't mind because he's the best dog in the world. Sid obviously a close second.

Good morning. Can I please join in on this thread?
I’m almost 5 months sober after 7 years of heavy drinking. I am getting a bit nervous about social situations over Christmas and NY and how to navigate them, so feel like this thread will help me.

Morning all.
Hello to @Bookaholic73 welcome.

I'm lounging around again due to another flare. I hope the RA consultant helps me after my op.

I'm in a guandry re the houses. I found another local cottage but it's just gone under offer after a year. I breathe on it and they all want it. Curses as it has a downstairs bedroom.
The DS should be moving in January. It is best for everyone. He has been so unhappy. He also eats a lot!

I'm looking forward to the festivities.

Morning all. This gloomy weather and the dark nights are making evenings a bit harder. I've got a bottle of 'Winter Spice' ribena on the go in the evenings, in an attempt to replicate mulled wine. It's quite warming!
Welcome @Bookaholic73 - 5 months is awesome! You've got this! Sorry to hear of your flare-up @WendyWagon . Have a good day all x

I've been looking for some winter drinks to replace mulled wine and thought that Winter Spice Ribena might be nice. Unfortunately, as with so many other drinks, they boast about it being 'no added sugar' then ruin it with artificial sweeteners (aspartame etc). I'd prefer something less sweet anyway.

I’ve been ill and feel really down today, I’ve always used alcohol as a crutch and the wine witch is definitely out and calling me. Just to try and quieten the mind.
I know it would be a slippery slope so I’m keeping strong but it’s just shit. Sorry for the moan. I’m normally much more even keeled so it’s probably hormonal. Need to keep myself busy.

@FiloPasty, sorry you're feeling down. This staying alcohol free lark is hard enough, harder still when you've not been well. The temptation to press that feck it button is high. And yes, the wine witch can be very loud.
Great idea to keep busy. Anything you can do for yourself ? I like a nice bubble bath, or I go for a walk. Or I sort my wardrobe, make lists or journal.
Having said that, a walk for me today was a bad idea. I very nearly bought red wine in Asda. Was feeling cold, wet and hungry.
Hope you're feeling better soon ❤️