Morning all!
I have been lurking around but never get around to posting. I think it’s because I always have so much to say and I know I don’t have time to write it. I composed most of this message offline over the course of a day.
Today marks 365 days sober for me! Huzzah! This thread really was invaluable to me in this first 3-6 months. I’m so glad I found you. I had been feeling like I needed to stop for 2-3 years. GPs had been rubbish when I’d plucked up the courage to say I had a problem and needed help. I wasn’t an alcoholic but I had been a heavy drinker for most of my life and I felt dependency was creeping up on me. I felt like I was abusing my body. I had never had a serious attempt before. I got to a point where I felt the time was right.
The early weeks are definitely the hardest. I think I aimed for 30’days, 90 days, 6 months… those were all big milestones. I was obsessed with reading everything I could about not drinking. I did find Claire Pooley’s original blog quite helpful as she had a blow by blow account. I didn’t sleep well for ages - months. My sleep still isnt brilliant but at least I am no longer waking at 3am to down a pint of water because I’m so dehydrated with booze! “It takes 100 days to see it and 6 months to feel it” (Pooley) is a phrase that really resonated with me. I did dry January once nearly 20 years ago and thought I never felt any better for it. That’s because it takes way longer if you’re pickled!
I started a new job about a month before I quit. I knew that would be a good incentive because I wouldn’t have been able to do a good job had I not quit booze.
I had also hated my old job so it was a great new start.
I didn’t lose any weight by quitting but I did start going to the gym once a week just to improve fitness. By April. I felt like I had the headspace for dieting. I lost around 9kg/1.5 stones in 12 weeks.
I.moved house 6 months after quitting. This was something else that needed to be done for a long time - the location was the source of a lot of depression and frustration. Moving was awful, stressful and knackering! Through all of it, I didn’t crave a drink. The only real times I have fancied it are the good times - celebrations, hot summer days. It’s funny that I associate so much with nice times when it was at the core of so much that had been awful in my life including an alcoholic mother.
A conservative estimate for the amount of cash I have saved is around £3000. I don’t feel like I have extra money to spend on me as a result. The house sale and quitting mean I just don’t have lots of debt to service any more! Woop! More liberation.
I turned to booze always due to stress, anxiety, tiredness (I have 3 DCs <12) and routine. I lived in a vicious cycle - alcohol might have numbed things in the short term but ultimately exacerbated all of them.
Timing played a big part in my success. I think I would have had many failed attempts if I had tried before I did. Somehow, I had resolve. I don’t know where it came from. Maybe it’s because I wanted to fix everything that made me miserable. Perhaps that was a plan of sorts; a mental to-do list. My job and house were major factors in me feeling like my life was at a stand still. Like I was just existing rather than living. A slow and steady wins the race attitude always eluded me. But not this time.
I didn’t tell anyone I wasn’t drinking. I just got on wjth things and said I was driving whenever I was at something involving booze.
My family is not a close one so I didn’t even have to face them. I met my dad and DB in a pub last week and told them as I looked through the mocktail menu. They were surprised, asked a couple of questions and left if af that. When it came to the second round DB asked if I had properly stopped all of it, like asking a vegetarian they still eat ham!! Duh.
It met another sibling separately the day after and they said they admired me and had been pondering doing it themself. Not a reaction I expected at all.
So I haven’t broadcast it far and wide and don’t intend to - even this epic milestone. I don’t intend to go back to it either. I can’t moderate and I would quickly end up back where I was. I wasn’t in control. Now I am.
Thanks again for this thread and for keeping it chugging on ladies. Welcome to newbies starting out - this is the best place ever to voice highs, lows and everything else in between. Happy Nee Year and all the best for 2026 x