Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Good morning everyone! @eekwhatnow nice to meet you and congratulations on your decision!

If December is one of the hardest months for us, January is one of the easier ones as we will be surrounded by people doing 'dry January' or simply cutting down on all socialising to economise over Christmas.

DH and I had a trip to one of our nearby cities yesterday and it was very quiet, possibly because the temperature didn't go above 1 degree. I treated myself to a new pendant for my necklace as the previous one broke over Christmas - luckily in the house as I found it on the floor, so it isn't lost, but I'll have to see if I can find a way to mend it.

A piece of good news is that I weighed myself this morning and I didn't gain any weight over Christmas. That was never the case when I was drinking over Christmas as I would not only consume extra alcohol calories but also eat all kinds of rubbish when I was hungover. It's much easier to make sensible food choices nowadays.

Hi All, I am back too. Managed 8 days at start of December then got caught in holiday season and totally drank. On day 4 now and have recommited to myself, including journalism so hoping will make it more manageable. Happy new year all.

Hi @Losingit25.

i think I would benefit from attending an AA / similar meeting.

@TheMentalMentalLoad It sounds like your former drinking pattern was very similar to mine. My minimum was 2-3 bottles of wine a week, the 3rd being on a 'school night' - but I saw even that as being 'moderate' and the only way I could keep to it was by having only one bottle of wine in the house at a time. If there was anything else available, I wasn't able to stop, and I 'wrote off' so many weekends by staying up literally all night, drinking by myself. Looking back, it seems so sad and depressing, like a chain round my neck that was dragging me down. Here's to staying sober in 2026.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge That is literally me. Any alcohol in the house was fair game. I thought making a litre of spirits last a week was good going!! My mum is the sort of person who can have booze in and never think about it. I envy these people, the sorts with the advocat from years ago. I would be justifying a snowball at 4pm if I had a bottle in.

Gosh I’ve missed so much!

Welcome newbies this thread has been an absolute lifeline for me. Glad to see you back @Becky3825 I hope that arsehat hasn’t been messing with you again, you deserve much more x

M&S chocolate cheesecake in the 90’s I swear is one of the best things I’d ever tried to date. Just reading about it puts such a smile on my face, my BF and I used to go and buy it whenever we were in the grumps :)

Im a huge advocate for the AF drinks I’ve not had any booze since September but have been very reliant on the AF options. It really is that I want to soak in the feeling of shutting off and try and quieten the world. I seem to have tricked my mind in one way, but last night drank 3 AF beers and a bottle of AF white wine (£4 M&S one) I do want to try and stop doing that whilst I’m much healthier post boozing, it does feel like I’m doing something wrong in a way and that I’m not comfortable in some way. I don’t know, I’ve always been a solo boozer, loved sitting drinking myself into oblivion whilst everyone else asleep. No off switch when out so had slowly moved to being the designated driver so I wouldn’t embarrass myself and then I’d just get home and drink. What a saddo.

Hopefully 2026 will be a happier healthier year for us all. Demons and wine witch be gone!

My biggest problem was habitual drinking rather than binge drinking. I could almost never go a single night without one or two glasses of wine. And like others my favourite drinking is home alone on the sofa.
I don’t think it’s bad to drink AF stuff. I really like the alcohol free gins with a tonic and have lots of that in. Sadly nothing really replaces red wine which was my favourite! Tempted to get a soda stream though as I rather like fizzy water.

Happy New Year, oldies and newbies! Nothing much to report here. Things are going well, passed six months from decision to quit, with only a few minor blips (I’ve just totalled this as 10 units over six months). I don’t want to get complacent and I don’t want to be like one of those friends in the old days who wasn’t a smoker unless there were cigarettes around when she would smoke off others. So my next hurdle is to say ‘no, I don’t want to taste the vanilla in this amazing wine’, or the local spirit or great bitter. I admit I’ve been trying to work out who I’m doing it for and does it really matter if I have a taste. I know this is a lesser issue than others are having so I hope it’s ok to say this too.

Best wishes for a good and sober 2026 to all.

My word for the year will be Health.

@eekwhatnow there is a £12 pinot noir in M&S which I think is v good (probably forgotten what it tastes like though)

Sorry should say it’s 0.5% I wasn’t promoting proper Pinot noir!

Checking in! @elusivehope the cheesecake sounds divine (not the Tesco one)! In terms of work stress triggers -work is 100% the main trigger for me. But at a relatively early 42 days AF I have already noticed (and probably started to notice about 20 days in) that my brain is starting to switch back on. I just feel so much more able to deal with things that previously sent me spiralling. I’m sure my drinking meant I was always in a state of alcohol related despair. Even when I wasnt actually drinking I was still feeling the after effects. I feel calmer, more stable and just able to THINK. So it will come I’m sure of it!
And @TheMentalMentalLoad plenty of us on the HRT here too! And everything is so much easier without booze in the mix! I have heard some people say WLI kill the craving for alcohol but it’s not something I know much about.
Hello to @eekwhatnow and welcome back aboard @Losingit25
And congratulations @postcard im glad things are going well!
Work again for me today but soldiering on and no urge to drink which is welcome. I’m working on the scoffing aspect but it’s a plan in progress. Got to the gym again this morning so good habits are beginning to stick. When I was drinking I used to skip it and then feel sad and miserable like I was failing at everything. Not now though!

I’ve just screenshot this from Mattwing.performance on insta. Some very good tools on there x

I love those @FiloPasty . "I just feel better without it" would be my personal pick because it's 100% true - and great wording to act as a reminder if I am tempted.

I was idly looking at booking a lunch or dinner on a vintage steam train for my husband's birthday later in the year - I was irked that no mention of alcohol-free alternative drinks was made on the menu - it was all Prosecco reception, this wine or that wine with the food. Yet, even leaving aside people who don't drink, a lot of people have to drive to reach the departure point - you would think they would advertise alcohol free alternatives. Minorly irksome too that you will end up paying Prosecco prices for orange juice or sparkling water or whatever ...

Hello. I’m a newbie too 😁 I have only told a few people but have also been disappointed by the lack of support especially from my DH (whose first reaction was “well don’t expect me to stop”). Thankfully my childhood best friend of many years is super supportive and she just lives round the corner so at least there is some support on hand. I’ve already found lots of useful info on here and have ordered the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and also the companion journal. At certain challenging points in life I have found journaling really helpful so here’s hoping.

Planning on a catch up of Traitors this evening and finishing off the festive chocolates 😊 Have a happy, sober evening everyone x

Hello @ThatCleverFox . I'm ashamed to say that was more or less my reaction when my husband gave up drinking - but now I'm 18 months dry so far. Let's hope that when he starts to see the benefits of it in you, he will at least become supportive even if he doesn't want to quit or cut down. But regardless, you will get lots of support here on this thread

Thank you! Funnily enough my DH drinks a lot too (we are primarily “home” drinkers) but my best friend has never been a drinker hence their different responses. I have actively been seeking support in recent weeks from my GP and on his advice I have self referred to the local alcohol services team, who I’m meeting this week and of course, looking for the online community which felt right for me - I found you!!

In 40 plus years I have never once tried or even considered cutting down never mind becoming AF but it seems I’ve just recently had a 💡 moment and I plan to grab it with both hands 🙌

@ThatCleverFox my DH has been pretty good but one of my friends really hurt my feelings initially with her lack of support. She did apologise later though and was worried about her own drinking and my sobriety was difficult for her to see.
I know I keep banging on about the trydry app in here but it was recommended by this lovely forum and it’s really good to tick days off but also see total days without alcohol so my November blip didn’t seem like the catastrophe it usually would. I just jumped back into not drinking. And it has little missions and badges which I like!
I do have another friend who asks every time we meet if I’m drinking again yet which is also irksome. But they’ve known me as a boozy pal so I get it.
Next time anyone asks me I shall use one off the list @FiloPasty shared. I like them all!

Evening all.
Just chevking in, i forgot this morning.
A big anniversary for me this week, four years.

Hi all, just checking in. I hit 322 days today which i am really happy about. It's my birthday in a few weeks and I am planning a v long walk in the woods followed by a massive platter of brisket at one of my fave restaurants. Previously would just have revolved the day around drinking. In fact last year me and DH went to london for the day. Started drinking on the train on the way in (about 11am), went to a v cool cocktail bar, lots of other nice stop offs for drinks then a theatre show I had booked a year before, spent £200 on tickets for and which I had been SO looking forward to seeing. I blacked out and didnt remember a thing about the show. Fell asleep for some of it. Was so gutted and annoyed at myself and it definitely triggered the realisation I needed to stop - my last ever drink was a few weeks later. I still can't believe i not only managed to stop, but am actually happier now. NEVER would have believed it a year ago

Amazing @WendyWagon 👏

Wow @WendyWagonand @HorrorFan81thats so impressive and encouraging.
We had a roast this evening and Sunday is always particularly difficult but we’ve had a cosy tv evening and feeling tired and cosy which is good. Also, I am wearing new pyjamas which I love. Slightly worried I’m going to turn into a compulsive shopper!

@eekwhatnownew PJs are absolute therapy in my eyes.

I strongly believe that through our sober journey we need to really embrace self compassion, love and care so PJs, fancy bath products, expensive chocolates, nice meals etc are an absolute must. Im deadly serious. We have poisoned ourselves for so long, now is the time to spoil the ourselves.

@WendyWagon thats absolutely amazing!

Does anyone else on here have pre teen DC? I swear to fucking god I deserve a medal for not drinking this weekend. I feel like every single button has been pushed. My patience is literally in shreds, my stomach is in knots and I trip over my words through sheer exhaustion from (as per my UN) the MENTAL mental fucking bastarding “ load.

And breathe.

Hi all. Happy New Year to everyone, old and new.

Been a very challenging holiday season and I am NOT looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Things are not good here at the moment to be honest and today was the first time in almost 17 years of marriage where I considered what it would be like to leave.

Still AF though which I am really proud of. 19months and counting.

@TheMentalMentalLoad I have 2 teens and they have been very difficult this Christmas. Pushing each others and my buttons every single day!
@eekwhatnow I know what you mean about shopping it can give a real rush when you click the "buy" button.