Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Just come across this thread: Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas? | Mumsnet and the OP has fair boiled my p*ss. 😡

@REP22 I saw that too! 🫣

I mean the OP definitely has a drinking problem 🤔

For sure. And unpleasant with it. I'm hoping it's a troll, but sadly probably is not.

I have so many regrets about how much I used to drink around my kids and I am so so glad they will never again see me drunk

I had a friend over yesterday who I would normally drink alot with. She had a bottle of prosecco and I stuck with AF beers. Didn't bother me one bit. Still have a few more weeks of xmas to get through but so far I havent felt any urges to drink and so happy about that. I am nearly at 10 months now. Once I am through xmas and NY, I have my bday in January- then I would have experienced all the 'things' sober - can't wait to hit that one year anniversary. My DH told me today that he plans on having a few drinks over xmas then he is pretty sure hes done for good too 🥳

Morning everyone. I had a wobble last night as I was feeling low and almost went out to buy some wine. I then thought of the obstacle course with the 10-foot wall and ditch full of leeches and managed to dissuade myself. So today is day 10, phew.

We have friends and family in Sydney so have been left reeling a bit from yesterday's attack. The Australian Syrian guy who jumped in to disarm one of the shooters is definitely a bright spot in the story, and will hopefully make it harder for the right-wing press to vilify Australian Muslims.

Then also just read about the director Rob Reiner and his wife being killed - it looks like the perpetrator was their son, who has a history of heroin addiction. Their daughter found the bodies 😥It just reminds me again of how any family can be haunted by addiction, no matter how privileged they are. I haven't heard from my own brother in months now (meth addict).

Sorry to be posting about such dark stuff! Everyone's posts from yesterday and today are very cheering. @Becky3825 I love your sense of humour! It's good to hear from people who are chalking up long stretches of days, as well as people starting or restarting afresh.

I also saw that AIBU thread. What a numpty the OP is (if indeed she's not a troll).

I'm back on the uni admissions train today through Wednesday. I'm just so tired at this point. I know I'm whinging a lot; I do this in December every year. 😂I'm frustrated that I have done next to nothing in readiness for Christmas, but hey, I can start on Thursday. It's OK! I did manage to do the Christmas shopping for my mum in the US last night by ordering various items to be shipped to her online. Thank god for the internet.

Have a good Monday everyone and stay strong! 💪

Today is just a NO day generally isnt it? Feeling incredibly tearful and depressed. Did an exercise class and now back in bed. Think a snooze will help re-set things a bit. Fucking Mondays

@elusivehope Sending big virtual cuddle your way lovely. Lets just survive today. Tomorrow is a new start. IWNDWYT 🥰

Here is a cat wearing Christmas socks if that helps anyone today 🙏

So sorry you're also feeling low, @Becky3825 ! The fact you got out to an exercise class is amazing, well done!

And I love the cat in Christmas socks. My cat would not be well impressed if I tried that stunt on HER, ha.

IWNDWYT either 😃

@Becky3825It’s a horrible day isn’t it? Wet and gloomy here, I’m feeling horribly low (definitely the consequence of Saturdays wine) and am having to literally drag myself around to achieve anything. I’ve got three days on my own (DH working) before the DS’s arrive home for Christmas so I really need to pull my finger out and get everything done.
@elusivehopeHuge well done for swerving the urge!

IWNDW(what’s the Y for?)T 😊

I will not drink with you today 😍

I thought the W was wine! I Will Not Drink Wine (Y?) Today 😂

@REP22 God that AIBU post, was boiling my piss too, I only got 2 pages in of everyone telling her she was a loon, to then go to Op posts only and it turns out she has small children and it’s her 25 year old step son, her husband apparently raging that he’d ruined their day. So sad and toxic. I’m quite looking forward to my booze free Christmas :)

@Becky3825 sorry you’re feeling down, def have a nice bath, movie, chocolates later x

@elusivehope sounds like this season and the run up to Christmas an absolute hill of work along with everything else, I hope you get to switch off soon. I never made it to uni but I’m hopeful my teenagers will go so I’ll be asking all the questions in the next few years x
@HorrorFan81 it must be so nice coming up to that milestone. I’m quite incredulous at how little my husband is drinking, there has been a nice bottle of red in our kitchen since I gave up and he hasn’t opened it. He had a few drinks on holiday but now I’m not drinking he isn’t either really and not even drinking any of my AF options although he thought the 0% rum was great. So I’m quite proud of him too :)

I'm just back from the GP and he's signed me off until the beginning of FEB! I really wasn't expecting that and did question it, but he said I needed to be 100% before going back (my job can be quite strenuous) - running/swimming and going to the gym are good indicators of that (I'm definitely not there yet).
So I've decided to use the time to get my sh*t together. Alongside not drinking, I'm going to look at my diet and lifestyle habits and find better ways to relax than mindlessly scrolling (have deleted FB, no longer have Instagram and only have MN on the laptop so it has to be a definite decision to engage). Hopefully by the time I go back to work I'll feel like a new woman 👌

Oh bless you @WhatMaggieDid - that must've come as a bit of a shock to the system. But you are being very wise. I got signed off for a few months (nothing drinking-related) some years ago. Like you, I used the time to sort my various levels of sh~t out, and it's been helpful in laying the groundwork for the person I am today. It was a good investment for the future, even if a bit daunting at first.

Hope all will be well for you. x

@FiloPasty yeah I am quite surprised about my husband! He's gone through long periods of being off the booze in the past (usually when training for big events) but could easily put away several bottles of wine with me when we got going. He stopped in April til last week and had his first beer on Friday night and he didn't particularly enjoy it - it just made him feel kind of woozy. I would never have put pressure on him but happy he has come to this decision on his own 😀

@WhatMaggieDid sounds like some time and space to get yourself together is a good thing, hope you start feeling better soon

Evening shipmates
An absolute horror of a day for me with some very sad news. But I have noticed that I’ve handled it far better than I would if I was drinking. It did occur to me briefly but I just thought “it won’t help” so I went to the gym as planned which did weirdly make me feel a bit better.
I’ll have a look at that post as could do with some outrage this evening!
Good for you @HorrorFan81 just shows we can still socialise and tbh after the first drink nobody pays attention to who’s drinking what!
@elusivehope you're doing great and I’m rooting for you!
@Becky3825 the cat in socks is exactly what’s needed and I hope your evening is restorative and peaceful.
@WhatMaggieDid taking the time to properly recover sounds very sensible. I think we often don’t recognise we are struggling until someone external says “you need proper time off”. Use it to really look after yourself.

Evening all.

very boring day here.
im not good at boredom.

but i am sober and relatively content.

and it will be good to wake up in the morning with a clear head and conscience. (God that word is hard to spell)

night all

Evening mates. Last Monday working for a lot of us I’m guessing, was definitely Monday’ing like a good’un here- rubbish!
Bloody hell that post that was linked is awful! Was so glad and reassured to see everyone ranting back at the OP, but it does make me so vexed that a lot of people do think this way…I think there’s potentially members of my own family who don’t think me and DH aren’t such a laugh now we don’t drink, and yes, I suspect it comes from worrying about their own drinking levels but it’s still so annoying. One family member let slip that I have changed since giving up- he quickly backtracked but I do think that he knew round ours the party would keep going, whereas, yes, now there does come a point these days where we’ll slope off to bed and leave those boozing to carry on, but I don’t feel like I have changed as a person.
I mentioned before I think that other people’s reactions to my not drinking still irk me four years down the line, but I still enjoy myself and I don’t feel any less fun. It’s annoying it bothers me so much tbh, I should care a lot less!
sending love and strength to everyone.
If we can all do a shitty Monday we can do any day of the week! Xx

Back to day 1. Beating myself up about it and my stomach has been so bad today. A reminder of one of the reasons I need to stop!

@hereshegoesagain36 we can do this - I:be had so many day ones. I'm taking the advice of others on here and I've written down how I feel the morning after drinking so I can read it when the crisis moment comes later in the day. X