Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Morning everyone
Just having a coffee listening to the rain. Will have to go out in it soon. Spaniel doesn't care!

@hereshegoesagain36what was your trigger? Don't beat yourself up about it - just work out what belief it was that made you pick it up in the first place? Was it that you like the taste, was it habit, relaxation? Fun? Now really consider them - is it really true? What would it be like if the opposite was true? If it's taste there are AF alternatives, are you really relaxed or is your brain telling you this and you're actually anxious, did the alcohol contribute to the fun or would you have had fun anyway? I find this thinking really helpful - especially this time of year when it's so habitual.

Couldn't read that whole thread but I did recognise the thinking. I have a nervousness about our Christmas guests thinking the same about me. I'll probably be so desperate to prove to everyone that I can still be Mrs Fun that I'll start acting like a mad children's entertainer for the day. You'll have never seen such an enthusiastic charades player.

Morning, checking in. Big day today. Will she get the job? Perhaps. Will she drink? NO FUCKING WAY.

Crossing everything for you @Becky3825 but whatever the outcome with the job, you are loved and valued, and we are here for you

Good luck at @Becky3825 , whatever happens you can win by telling booze to do one. We are routing for you. And thanks for the photo of your cat in socks! Loved it ❤️
Hugs @hereshegoesagain36 today is a new day. Sometimes we need these slips to show us what we really want. You've got this.
Day 5 here and I've started replacing booze with the gym or swimming, so feeling pretty good if a bit achy 🤣 Immersing myself in quite lit to try and fortify the desire to stay off the demon drink! Chat gpt is also amazingly helpful at this. Realising all the myths we tell ourselves about booze... I mean I read this stuff before so I also need to maybe ensure I reread regularly 🤣🤦
Hope everyone has a good day today 🥰

Ooh and just discovered barista cinammon oat milk, Christmas in a cup! Makes a lovely latte!

Morning

didnt sleep well last night, so it’s a slow start to the day today, but have the gym in a bit, so need to drink coffee and shift my bahookie.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRFTk4Mn/

I have followed this woman on TikTok for ages, I started for the wordle, I stayed for the sober chat. This is a good message. And it really really resonated.

itsa about wanting the feeling of numbness that drinking can bring, Which is what I want. To just escape from my reality for a bit,

Slept well and I'm podcasting this morning!

Just getting poshed up. Diary of a CFO type thing.

I had a sip of booze yesterday. Vile, I left it. Ill be back to explain why later.
Love to all
X

@Becky3825 thinking of you and sending luck your way x

Good luck @Becky3825❤️

Good luck Becky

Thank you so much everyone 🥲
I cant tell you how much I appreciate the support from you all and the positive wishes 💜

Done pilates and drank so much coffee my hands are shaking. Currently sitting outside my local café drinking earl Grey trying to not continuously check my emails for news on the job. It'll inevitably be at 5pm i hear. Arhhhhhh

Everything crossed for you here too @Becky3825. is it an NHS role? If so, they are notorious for not notifying until (and sometimes beyond) the deadline they've stated, so don't panic if it gets late!

@Becky3825 im sat here reading the thread with a mug of Earl Grey too, I knew I like you, earl grey drinkers (and people who eat clotted cream whichever way) are always good un’s. Whatever happens the sober path is ahead, fingers crossed this one’s the job but I’m a big believer that if it’s not there a reason why and it’s usually that something better is coming x
Nativity is a good Christmas movie to watch if you need a laugh in the meantime x
@WendyWagon good luck for the podcast sounds exciting, and I’m interested in your random drinking I hope nothing serious.
A mum friend who doesn’t know I’ve given up drinking gave me a bottle of fizz yesterday. I’ve just put in the fridge for someone else to drink at Xmas, I will keep my resolve.

Well I've gone all modern mes aimies.
Podcast done.

I havent had a blip for over a year and yesterday I had dragged my post hospital body to a meeting with a colleague. What i saw and heard shocked me to the core. Serous stuff that had i not stepped down last year i might be doing porridge!
I don't like spirits so a brandy wouldn't have worked. I ordered a drink and it absolutely stank. Not for me. No harm done.

I had a hot chocolate!

Fingers crossed, @Becky3825.

Stressful times here - Daughter's new house needs a new roof a week after she's moved in, we have already had lots of unexpected expenses on top of usual Christmas ones, and various other things.

I have had zero desire to drink, but I'm still feeling unwell after 36 days since my last one. I'm sleeping really badly, and was supposed to meet friends this morning, but 'closed my eyes for five minutes' and fell asleep, so missed the meeting, which is not like me at all. I'm not conspicuously ill, but very much under par. I feel as though my batteries have died, and I have no appetite, but am not losing weight. I had hoped that I'd start to feel better after a while, so I can put on a front at Christmas, but it's not happening. I need to do some serious tidying and sorting (I'm not good at either) or I'll just be moving piles around when I have a house full of people, and doing that is stressful in itself. I don't mean to moan, but I'm not feeling remotely festive, shipmates. Maybe it's too soon, and things will improve in the new year - I hope so.

Weighed myself this morning and I've gained 4lb since my weekend wine fuelled blow out. So, so stupid. I was starting to feel so much better (have gained weight over the last 18 months - a lot of it alcohol and food related but not helped at all by gynae and meno issues which are now resolved). I'm so cross with myself. Today I've got no oomph and I'm flopping around being really lazy. I'm going to go for a big breezy walk in a bit and have booked to go swimming this evening to drag me out of the funk. It normally takes about 3 days post alcohol to recover my energy and spirit - WHY ON EARTH DO I DO IT?!!!
Ok, enough self pity.

@ShyMaryEllen that sounds very stressful - I feel things so intensely when my adult children are stressed or upset. That need to make sure they're happy and emotionally safe never changes does it?

@WendyWagon well done on swerving the urge. Hot choc is such a treat 😊

@FiloPasty DH and I watched a Muppet Christmas Carol in bed on Sunday night - had forgotten how funny it is!

IWNDT

I didn't get the position 😔. The matron at the hospice was lovely and gave feedback saying I had excellent answers for everything, but that there was just so many strong candidates. Back to the drawing board (bed) more early Grey and NO getting smashed to 'commiserate' 💪

Oh, I'm sorry, @Becky3825. It's rubbish getting news like that, so well done on your determination not to drink - stick with it, it'll be worth it.

A job will come along, I know it will, but I also know it's not easy to be patient while you wait for it to arrive. x

So sorry @Becky3825. It sounds like you performed really well. The right thing will come along, but I know the waiting is hard.
PLEASE post on here if you feel a F**k it moment coming on later tonight. We’ll hold you through it ❤️

Yeah i must say first thought was Fuuuccckkkk it all... but then immediatly 'what good have booze ever done me?'....

Remembered the answer was 'NOTHING'

Onwards lovely people 💜❤️‍🩹

@Becky3825 I'm sorry to hear that, here's hoping something else will come along soon. Stay strong and don't give up 💪

Evening shipmates, been out and about all day.

Sorry about the job @Becky3825 - it sounds positive in a way though; they were complimentary and there are so many applicants for jobs these days - we are noticing it where I work; even getting applications from overseas for lower-grade roles. And you heard it from the matron direct, not a dismissive text. They obviously thought highly of you. I think it just means that there is something better, just waiting for you, out there. I hope it will come your way soon. Sending you much love. x

Also sorry that your yesterday was so grim @Carpetburn - I hope today was better. x

I quite like porridge @WendyWagon - but not THAT kind. Another bullet deftly dodged. I hope someone, somewhere is getting their comeuppance for all that went on though.

Keep going my friends. It will be alright. xx

P.S. Muppet Christmas Carol is one of my favourites - I delight in it every year. Little bit o' trivia - after Scrooge's "redemption" and he's got the turkey for the Cratchits, Scrooge and the Muppets are dancing through the streets to the Cratchit house and they pass a shop called "Micklewhite's" - which is Sir Michael Caine's real surname. 😉 A joyous film and the best onscreen Scrooge in my opinion. Nativity is another good one. The Polar Express, however, can f~ck right off.

I noticed that shop and thought to myself what a wonderful name it was!

Sorry to hear that @Becky3825 brilliant feedback though and I am loving your positive attitude. Keep going with your applications.
I've been feeling really good sober recently but had a few day dreamy moments where I was thinking about Christmas and booze longingly today.Shocked at how it can creep up on you when I hadn't been missing it at all.

@REP22 the polar express is indeed - fucking awful.

@Becky3825 - I am so sorry to hear about the job, but please - don’t let this be a reason to drink. It’s a reason not to. You can do this. I so believe in you,

havign not slept we have had a good day regardless. Gym and then a Christmas lunch out for the illness my dh has. Was actually very lovely.

I bought us matching Xmas jammies, and we are in bed drinking tea, and watching the bishops wife.

perfect