On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

This is my first week of seriously cutting down after a really tough six months which led to me drinking every day.. anyway have been AF but last night I was watching my series and allowed myself five of the little Mediterranean tonic cans (no gin) and this morning I actually feel hungover! Has anyone else felt like this? I need to check out the sugar content but might need to switch to herbal tea from now on… which is a shame as I was enjoying them!

@baddecisionsmakegreatcompany interesting about the sugar. It’s another inflammatory so maybe having more than you normally do was a similar trigger? I’ve felt hungover after too much caffeine before now.

those of you using tracking apps, do you measure your drinks out or guess? I’m put off by the need to be accurate in small amounts (rather than saying “a third of a bottle of 13% wine”, for example) in the same way I cba to weigh my food for a calorie tracking app. Is it a massive chore?

Hello everyone and welcome @newme2025
@baddecisionsmakegreatcompany i found that when I drank AF gin and tonic that I would wake up feeling hungover, I googled it and it could be a sensitivity to quinine in the tonic.
@newme2025 I don’t usually get to sit down until 9pm most nights and by then I’m shattered so it’s usually a cuppa a catch up on tv and then fall asleep. However when I’ve found myself feeling bored in the evenings I do read quite a bit usually some quit lit or I listen to a podcast. I have started journally too which is a really good tool to help generally.
even though Im trying to lose weight on particularly bad evenings I treat myself to something nice to eat. Usually something sweet.

i had my second birthday night out last night. A psychic night in our local pub. Unfortunately their AF range wasn’t great so I ended up with a 0% cider which was ok, then I Diet Coke and then a hot chocolate. And felt very smug that my bill at the end of the night was only £9.95 🤣 Before I’d have ramped up a bigger tab than that! Found it easy to abstain but I’m lucky that I have very supportive friends. I’ve only come across one person who was absolutely disgusted that I wasn’t drinking on a night out generally everyone else hasn’t been bothered.

Hope everyone is doing ok today. It’s almost the weekend! What’s everyone’s plans? Xx

@TiA303091thats interesting about the quinine I had no idea it could have that effect. That’s great news about the bar bill! So nice not to wake up feeling hungover and with buyers remorse! @DoubtfulCatI use the NHS tracking app, I’m a wine drinker and it only asks for the ABV and size of glass so fairly straightforward, not sure for other drinks though

Glad to hear you’re doing well, @Addictforanex. Two bottles a week is impressive, I’d be happy if I was down to that. I’m going to abstain tonight then hopefully have a drink tomorrow night. I will try not to drink until late (say 9pm?) as I know if I start straight after work I will easily finish a bottle.

@newme2025 that's great you have a plan. You've done really well this week.
I'm not on this thread as such but I read the posts and I also read your other thread.
Have you thought about journalling ? I know a couple of posters have mentioned it. You could just jot down the benefits you're feeling from being af, and refer to it when you're tempted ?
It's helped me enormously.
But, one day at a time. Even 1 hour if you're having a particularly bad day.
I tell myself Just For Today, I Won't Drink.
You can do it ❤️

@DoubtfulCat i don’t measure drinks but Try Dry for wine for eg has the different glass sizes (125, 175, 250), quarter bottle (which is one of those minis), half bottle and full bottle to choose from and then defaults to 12.5% ABV which you can change. I mostly drink at home so check the % and estimate the quantity (based on how much of bottle has gone lol). It won’t be perfect but it will be 80-90% correct.

Thanks @Addictforanex , that sounds more my style!

@DoubtfulCat I've not tried Try Dey, but the Drink Aware app is really easy to log drinks. It has standard drinks but you can increase or decrease the %, and save frequent drinks and name them for ease next time. So if you have a particular drink in a pub or most weeks, you can just tap it and how many you've had.

I’ve switched all my data from the NHS app to Try Dry as I think I prefer it. It’s more flexible and visually more satisfying, as it marks off a whole day when you haven’t drunk as opposed to just adding a little star in the corner.

Yeah, I used to find the NHS Drink Free Days app too simple/binary as it used to be all or nothing, which was frustrating when I'd made a huge effort to cut down. They have updated it to log drinks now for moderators, but I still much prefer the Drink Aware one for the data insights and health tips.

I would love a drink right about now. Trying to stay strong but it’s blimming hard.

This is why I can't have alcohol in the house...(though have had a bottle of prosecco in the wine fridge for a couple of months, which is a record).

Hi all, I hope we're all keeping on ok

I had a definitely wobble week with the normal weekend then doing half-term, solo parenting, travelling with DD, slightly stressy visit to the outlaws then travel back then it was the weekend again. It ended up being ten days solid, of at least a couple drinks somewhen and I wasn't best pleased with myself to be honest.

I've done so well earlier in the year having almost 6 months unbroken then a pretty dry summer. It just showed me that these 'oh just a couple Friday Saturday and oopsy Sunday too' are bloody dangerous for me!

I'm here on the last day of October thinking do I really want the story of 2025 to be 'stopped drinking, then started drinking again, yay me?'

I haven't had a drink since I had the last beer in the fridge on Monday after training, and I'm determined to finish the year as I started it. Successfully managing to be sober.

We are having a fairly big gang of friends to ours in 2 weeks and they are all big drinkers, so that's going to be one of those days where there's a good chance I might let myself play a joker, but otherwise it's time to screw the nut and stay sober.

Good luck everybody, whatever your goals are for the weekend, I hope you get what you aim for.

I made it through last night without a drink, so that’s four days in a row sober. I’ve been alcohol free for 102 days this year, which means I’ve done a third of the year sober. I’m happy with that, but next year I’d like it to be more like half.

I’m planning on having a drink or two tonight but am really desperate not to let it turn into my usual bottle. I may post here later to keep myself accountable. Happy Halloween everybody.

The other problem is that on the days when I do drink, I drink a lot.

@newme2025just keep in mind how good you’ll feel this time tomorrow with no empty bottle in the recycling bin. I have a bottle of M£S nosecco chilling in the fridge for this evening. Plan to allow myself again tomorrow if I behave tonight!

Well, I blew it. Some friends of DH’s came over last night and I ended up drinking a bottle of wine. I have really bad social anxiety (always have done) and drank to calm my nerves. I woke up feeling very thirsty and a bit hungover, although it could be worse.

I’m so annoyed with myself.

@newme2025 you haven't blown it. You're still doing really well. Look at the big picture.
I hear you regarding the social anxiety, I was the same. Except I drank a bottle before going out 😣.
Put it behind you, it's done.
And don't beat yourself up - you would be kind to a friend I'm sure.

Snap. What has helped me is tracking and noticing what "a lot" is. Aiming for a 5-10% decrease over a period of time is a healthy, realistic target I think.

I agree you didn't blow it last night. You just had a night off. What would binge drinking have looked like before you became more conscious of your habits and intake? Would it have been more? That's progress.

Remember - "success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in, day out". Maybe success for you today looks like not beating yourself about enjoying a bottle of wine with friends last night. Maybe success today is being a lot kinder to yourself.

Keep being kind to yourselves everyone 💐

Thanks @Goandygo. Social anxiety is a massive trigger for me in terms of drinking. Unfortunately I have another social event today.

If social anxiety is a problem for some on here, perhaps we could share some top-tips for helping anxiety during sober times? Links to podcasts or books which may help?

Good luck later @newme2025 - hope you get to enjoy the social event without anxiety spoiling it for you.

Thanks @ForeverTipsy. I think what I’m annoyed about is I wasn’t consciously considering how much I was drinking. I just kept pouring.

Hi, can I join? Today will be day 7 no booze for me. To be honest I wouldn’t have said I have a problem with alcohol. I love a drink but can go without most days. Over the pandemic I definitely had an ‘oh crap’ moment and made a concerted effort to cut back and now I feel like I have a healthier relationship with it. But DH is like many here who doesn’t have an off switch. Every time we have a drink together I was so scared that he’d get obliterated again. But not scared enough to stop drinking with him Last week after another night where he didn’t get home til 8am he said he was going to quit drinking. Yeah yeah I’ve heard it all before. But he seems serious. He’s spoken to some mates who have been super supportive and made a plan for the week ahead and here we are week one done. He’s set a goal of a month AF to start (one year or forever feels so impossible it’s easy to give up before we start) and will extend as time goes on and I’ve decided to join him, at least for the first month. I’ll probably allow myself a drink when I’m out with the girls or without him, he’s agreed on that as he won’t be triggered, but no girls nights planned this month so sober November for me.

It’s different for me this time too. Like before he said he was going to cut down or stop and I’d be supportive in words but not willing to give up my own Friday night g&t! Last week I finally got to the point where I thought I’d rather live the rest of my life stone cold sober than ever have to worry about DH being drunk again. And although I wouldn’t say I have a problem I definitely rely on alcohol in social situations, get a bit anxious without a drink and then drink too fast and have hangxiety the next day about all the stupid things I’ve said. I’ve also noticed we almost always have one or two more than everyone we’re with - I’m lucky to be surrounded by mostly moderate drinkers I guess! I’m looking forward to not having that panic the next day over what people think of me.

Ultimately I’d like to be able to have a glass of champagne with DH at special occasions, or a cocktail or two on holiday; but I see for some that tee total is easier than moderation, so we will see how this journey goes.

I’m posting because I’m feeling very motivated right now and haven’t really missed drinking, thought I might have a drink yesterday at the pub for lunch with friends sans DH but actually didn’t even fancy it, but I know as time goes on temptation will grow and it will get harder.

Hi everyone - me too, please! I have successfully reduced my drinking a lot this year, but I still have a blow out every now and then usually triggered by boredom or anxiety. I find it easy to moderate in company, but not at home, so my goal is to stop drinking at home (I live alone). I’m going to revive a daily meditation practice. I’ve found this helped with cravings in the past.

I wondered if anyone has tried the SMART Recovery system?