On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@Ginandbitterlemons how about diet tonic water? I find the gin doesn’t taste that much so it’s quite a nice pretend drink just having the tonic (and not too sweet). Or Virgin Mary is a drink I’d have in the pub, with the Tabasco etc. again not missing the alcohol. As Tipsy says, the AF lagers and Guiness are pretty good. As a wine drinker myself I’ve tried and been disappointed by the AF wines, but the Nozeccos and Kylie and Freixenet 0% fizzes are pretty good.

I quite like tea and herbal tea, but recently anything non-alcoholic after about 7pm has me up in the night so I try to be hydrated before then and just stop, and rehydrate properly in the morning.

Well done to the AFers and the moderators, welcome @Ginandbitterlemons.
AF drinks i like are the 0% lagers. Heineken and Bud are good. Otherwise I like the posh Robinson cordials with sparkling water, lime and mint or rhubarb and raspberry. Also like a pint of OJ with lemonade. AF wine not good. People on here like the Nosecco, but that's not my kind of tipple.
My moderating is going well. I've had a busy time with 3 nights out on the trot but had to drive last 2 so stayed AF. My Try Dry App is showing well within government limits for drinking this month 😇. Will post a screenshot of my sensible unit intake below.
Have been feeling calmer on the HRT this week, took 14 days for my mood to stabilise, not sure im totally there yet as I feel quite low, but I haven't cried in over a week so that must be improvement 😅.
Have bought myself an M&S 250ml bottle of Italian red to have tonight. 1 large glass. Best not to get a whole bottle as then id drink it over the next 2 days and I want to be AF in the week.

Well done @DoubtfulCat - that's a great tip re only buying the little bottles of wine so there's none left over. Great way to stay within limits. Where is your screenshot? Glad the hormones are settling down now and you're crying less.

I'm having a wobble. Such a weird day of highs and now lows/stress, and I'm about to walk to my favourite cozy pub with a mate who will be having one or two glasses of red. The last time I drank was with her and that was six weeks ago today. So I've done 41 days sober. Meant to be doing Sober October but now thinking duck (it's never duck, phone, when will you learn ! 🙄) it, I've already done 10 days more than Sober October, so why not enjoy a glass of wine this evening? I will start with a pint of soda and lime and see how I feel. If I do have a glass I shall try not to berate myself and feel guilty tomorrow for "failing".

Hope you're all ok.

😁 true its never Duck ! Wishing you a lovely evening, dont beat yourself up if you do decide to drink. Not sure why my screen shot didn't attach

@Ginandbitterlemons Hi. I found your post very interesting and it struck a chord with me about the excitement of the drinks cabinet. Not so much now, as pubs have changed beyond recognition with all the food they serve but I used to absolutely love the smell of a pub as you walked in. All boozy and smokey x

Hi everyone and welcome @Ginandbitterlemons i really resonate with the wine in front of the fire especially in these autumn and winter months. It made me feel so happy and cozy. At the moment I’m settling for options hot chocolate in front of the fire and as I’m dieting this has had the same effect so far so fingers crossed. I’m now 36 days af. I had my first birthday night out on Saturday. I’m turning 40 on the 3rd so have a few days/nights out lined up. There was 16 of us and we all went for a meal. I drank a virgin mojito then sparkling water and I had such a lovely evening. Some people were drinking some weren’t but I think the thing that I noticed was that some people don’t drink as much as I thought. If I’d have been drinking by the time my friends were on their second glass I’d have been on my 4th! They also surprised me with an amazing birthday cake. There was only one person who didn’t have any cake and they’d had a lot more to drink than everyone else and I realised before I gave up that would’ve been me. I’d have been more interested in getting another glass of wine than eating cake!
hope you are all doing well and well done to everyone for making those first steps and those continuing to grow.
Hope you all have a fab week 💗

That sounds like a lovely evening @TiA303091 - well done for enjoying all the other aspects of getting together with friends, the food, the chat, the cake etc and reflecting on how you would have been if you'd have been drinking. I think a lot of us have experienced very similar nights out this year and it can be a real eye opener. Do you have a goal in mind for your AF streak or are you aiming for complete sobriety forever now?

I did end up enjoying one 175ml glass of red in front of a roaring fire with my friend last night, and am trying hard not to beat myself up about losing my 41 day streak (was going to be 47/48 days, as was always planning on drinking on 1st Nov). We went for a walk first, so my total steps yesterday were just shy of 13,000, and I'd had such a busy day with ups and downs emotionally. Must focus on the ups tho, hey? Feeling quite low lately and know alcohol is a depressant, hence cutting right back. Have logged the glass of wine on my apps and will continue to log going forward.

Have a good week everyone. Remember to use this space to journal if you feel it helps (it definitely helps me).

@ForeverTipsy thank you. Yes my plan is to not drink again. Whether this will happen or not I don’t know. Forever does sound kind of scary but then when I gave up smoking forever sounded scary and 10 years on I would never ever even entertain having a cigarette. I think for now I’d like to say a year and I think once I’ve done that I will see no point in going back to drinking again. I had a bad relationship with alcohol and I know that 10 years down the line it would have only got worse.
sorry to hear you’ve been feeling a bit low. The winter months don’t help do they. But well done on moderating and you shouldn’t feel guilty. You are doing amazing, everyone is xxx

Hello, please can I join the thread? I’m a bottle of wine a day drinker (sometimes more) and have posted about my struggles with alcohol on this board before. I decided I needed to cut down this year and until June I was managing about three days off a week. Then in July I went through a difficult time and all restraint went out the window. Last week I drank a bottle of wine a day again (the most I’ve had in a while) and it has wrought havoc on my digestive system, to an extent I’ve never had before. It feels like my body is saying ‘enough’.

I’d like to not drink Monday to Thursday ideally and then have a few glasses on the weekend days - like normal people. I’ve had 99 days sober this year according to my app - if I don’t drink today I’ll have had 100 days off this year.

Hello @newme2025 ! I’m dry Monday to Thursday inclusive as well, plus other days and longer stretches from time to time. Welcome!

I’m really craving wine this week though. Probably because it’s half term. OH is still at work though so he’s sticking to the straight and narrow and I’ll keep him company. I can’t take any pride or pleasure in it though!

Thanks for the words of support and encouragement @TiA303091 - much needed and appreciated. Yes, you're right, winter months don't help mood.

@newme2025 welcome to the thread 😃 You'll find lots of help and support here, whether you're cutting down or trying to do spells of complete sobriety (some folk have tried to moderate but find they can't, so are totally sober). It's great you're tracking drinks and being aware of how much you're consuming. Awareness is the first step to change as they say.

@DoubtfulCat I'm with you on the half-term "holiday vibes" mood and fancying a drink. It's just how we've been conditioned to think all our lives hey? Great your dh is helping you by being sensible. It'll soon be Friday!

I would really like to drink tonight after a busy day. But I will stay strong, have a bath and get an early night. I’m quite worried about my digestive issues to be honest (I’ve had bad diarrhea for the last week - sorry for the overshare) and need to get back to normal before I consider having another drink. My body seems to be crying out for a break.

What do others do to pass the time in the evenings? If I could go to bed at 8 or just watch movies I think I’d find it easier, but I have youngish DC and have to be present for them.

I scroll on here a lot 😬

I read. This evening I have made bread and we’ve watched a couple of episodes of Fawlty Towers to honour Prunella Scales. Usually it’s reading for me, though. Doing things makes it easier for the time to pass- are your dc old enough to enjoy a game of ludo or dobble or something?

I’m in bed with another day down. That’s 100 days sober this year. Night all.

@newme2025 well done on the 100 dry days this year! Will you keep tracking going forward to see how much you're improving? I love to see numbers/data to help my motivation.

Re: digestive issues, I had exactly the same issue tbh. I have mild IBS and noticed the day after drinking heavily I would be on the loo a LOT, quite a few years ago. I had to plan the day around it. Then as time has gone on it's got steadily worse, to where I can't really have more than two or three glasses of wine (medium sized, not a whole bottle) without it affecting me. My Sister has ulcerative colitis and used to drink heavily (brewed her own red wine so literally had it on tap) but has been 100% sober for many years now as she couldn't leave the house the next day. She tried giving up all sorts of things first, of course. Dairy, gluten, coffee, monitored fibre etc...but nope...it is definitely alcohol that aggravates her bowels. She's actually glad these days that her issues forced her to stop altogether, as she was easily drinking 1 - 1.5 bottles of home made red wine an evening before.

Anyway, I guess the only thing you can do is to go dry for a spell and see how your stomach issues are? Perhaps journal? Yep, evenings are spent doing wellbeing stuff for me when I'm not drinking. Baths, pamper, paint my nails, reading, writing letters to a friend abroad, bingeing Netflix in my bedroom, scrolling Mumsnet like @DoubtfulCat ! The better sleep due to no alcohol is worth some boring evenings tbh.

@ForeverTipsy thank you. Interesting that it gets steadily worse, isn’t it? After two days off drinking my stomach seems more settled today. I hope it lasts.

I had a very good sleep last night and woke feeling refreshed. I’m glad I didn’t drink last night as to feel like this is such a novelty. I’m aiming to have today and tomorrow off as well. It’s going to be hard but I’ve got to do it.

On my way home and really feel like a glass of wine tonight.

Sat here now wishing I could have one! I’m usually ok in the week, but this week is hard. I’m probably tired, that’s a trigger for me.

What are your triggers?

I think I have quite a lot of triggers - a bad day at work, a good day, feelings of self-loathing and worry about the future, plus just wanting to escape it all for a few hours.

Hi @newme2025 i think I remember you from the Dry Jan thread? Welcome!

@Hohofortherobbers impressive screen shot! Mine looks a lot more “bingy”. Saturday 4th was particularly regrettable 🙁!

@Addictforanex hello! What app is that? It looks good.

It’s Try Dry - icon is yellow with a tea cup and a cocktail umbrella. Good for tracking and seeing trends and savings (calorie and £) etc

Thanks. Hope your alcohol journey has gone okay since January @Addictforanex

Been good on the whole @newme2025. Been aiming for moderation all year since Dry Jan and whilst I have had peaks and troughs I am averaging less than 2 bottles of wine a week. My issue is I tend to binge them over 2 days at the weekend and then 5 days dry. Except on holidays when I drink every day. So still not a healthy way to drink but I know my liver is in very good health having had some tests recently so am not beating myself up too much, and taking the wins that I am doing much better than last year and every year before that

Sorry to hear you are concerned about your drinking again, hope you get some hope and support from this thread, and congratulations on 100 days this year.