On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

@Goandygo I've had friends try to get me to drink because they didn't like drinking on their own. They say things like 'just one won't hurt' - but I know it was rarely 'just one'. Actually, as I still have a (soft) drink, I don't see how it makes any difference to them. I'm still with them and drinking - I'm just not making a fool of myself or suffering the next morning.

Hello @Goandygo! I remember you! I’m better at abstaining too. Trying to moderate was too much pressure and mind games I’d play. Effectively : can I, can’t I and do I or don’t I. Nibbling is better too. I feel more in control of my intakes, food and drink wise. I’m now in a « dry » country on holiday with my, just stopped smoking daughter. And abstaining for her from cigarettes and myself being af, is so much easier. Also so relaxing not to have to think about it. Just trying not to eat too much of the so very delicious food here.

don’t know how many days I’m AF at the moment. I’ve also stopped counting. Just not drinking. Relaxing and trying to do
my exercises regularly.

sending you all sun, sand and strength. Don’t forget to love yourselves. X

Good to hear from you again @Goandygo 🥰 and well done on your abstinence xx

Hope everyone is having a good week. I’ve just had my liver scan and all very healthy. Very happy with that and, must admit, relieved!

Hey @Addictforanex that's amazing news! Congrats! Big relief I'm sure 😊

I remember you @Goandygo - congrats on being sober for so long you've stopped counting the days; that's some achievement ❤️

@Nowstrong lovely to hear from you...thanks for sending sun and sand but I'm yet to receive mine 😢 Good luck to your granddaughter kicking the smoking habit. I'm sure you're a fantastic role model to her and a great source of support.

I'm over a month dry now. It's flown by tbh. Planning on drinking on the 1st Nov as we're off to a friend's, but I'll see how I feel then.

@Hohofortherobbers the eating of chocolate digestives to compensate for missing wine calories made me laugh! Girl math at its finest 👌

Had a night out last night and failed miserably in moderating. Feel really horrendous this morning, both physically and mentally - just feel so disappointed in myself. I think that on "big" nights out I am going to have to abstain totally. I just don't have an off switch when I get going. Ugh.

@harriethoyle put it behind you now, but I know how you feel.
I often felt like this after nights out. I had no off switch either, which is why I had to abstain.
At least you know for the next night out, you'll have a plan.

Great news @Addictforanex ! You must be relieved.

I have been doing pretty well moderating since I joined on the 29th September. I've had 2 drinking days (one day each w/e) since then and I drank 5.25 units on both occasions. I might have a couple of drinks this weekend but we'll see.

I've had a few days where I've not thought about drinking at all and even forgot to complete my TryDry app (whereas at the beginning, getting to the end of the day and pushing the 'stayed dry' button felt like a real achievement). I know it's early days but I'm pleased with things are going so far.

I have substituted running for drinking so that's helped a lot. I genuinely look forward to exercising to use that as motivation not to drink.

I hope everyone is looking forward to the weekend x

Half a bottle of wine and a double whisky last night, which in the past I’d barely have felt but I have that special tiredness this morning 🤦‍♀️

OTOH my back has been pretty easy compared to more virtuous mornings. If it IS an inflammatory thing, it’s weird that drinking or not drinking don’t seem to exacerbate or improve it.

Hi all. @DoubtfulCat I did the same last night, and feeling tired and guilty this morning. I have been drinking everyday for the last 7 days, telling myself it’s ok because it’s only a couple of mini Proseccos or couple bottles of lager. Then last night drank far too much. I think for now I need to try abstain but it’s so hard

@Patty16 abstaining is easier. I have rules around when alcohol is allowed- absolutely not Monday to Thursday. I am allowed on Friday and Saturday if I want to (but limited so that I can enjoy the weekend days) and Sunday if there’s leftovers. Actually the leftovers rule is new because last Sunday I went and bought a couple of minis, and I don’t want that to seep into buying whole bottles. At least this way I am dry for 4 days every single week. Would something like that work for you?

@DoubtfulCat I think I’m going to have to try something like that. It’s the voice in the head tho like a few others were saying
@harriethoyle hope your feeling better today, don’t be to hard on yourself

I am @Patty16 - thanks for checking in. I went out with friends for a curry last night and stuck to AF lager, and I’ve been to the gym and had a nap today so I’m on the mend. I guess Thursday just showed me that there’s work still to do and it may well be the case that on “high risk” nights I have to abstain totally.

I had half a bottle of red last night and it definitely didn't agree with me. Slept poorly and my naggy sports watch reported my heart rate was higher than normal overnight.

Felt a bit hungover and discombobulated today but not horribly so. Just enough to make me doubt whether it was worth it just to have a drink watching GBBO on catch up!

I did manage to avoid being tempted to hair of the dog this afternoon while I was in the club having lunch.

And now I'm posting from a well loved local pub which almost burned down 6 month's ago and has just reopened 15 minutes ago. I wanted to show up and ring their till, so I am nursing a pint of nice bitter.

It just goes to show there's always an excuse for a drink!

@BezMills yep, always an excuse in the UK for a drink ! It's what makes abstaining such a challenge. Wouldn't have this problem in other parts of the world eh?

@harriethoyle sorry you were feeling bad after a heavier night's drinking. I think you've hit the nail on the head there tho with possibly high-risk nights - it's safer to have zero drinks. Thank you for talking about this, as it's made a lot of sense to me. I've said to dh this evening about and said going forward if there's a possibility of a messy night, I will always try and drive or not have a single drink. I'm lucky in that most of my friends these days seldom drink, or if they do it's genuinely one or two. Mostly due to the side-effects being not worth any more (like migraines and poor sleep).

@Patty16 sorry you're feeling tired and guilty today. Do you log all your drinks in an app? Perhaps you can have a good run of AF days now to salvage the rest of the month? Be kind to yourself, whatever you do x

Hey @GoandygoI remember you too.
Glad to hear you're doing so well. 😊
I haven't drunk since my night out 2 weeks ago. Day to day I'm not at all bothered. I just can't moderate once I get going 🤦‍♀️
Not sure what I'm doing going forwards, I really would like to enjoy a couple but I don't seem to manage that well 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Hi all & hope everyone is having a good weekend.

@BezMills i had less than half a bottle last night and still very tired today. I’m always tired so it would be easy to miss, but at least I can notice it now when previously it would have been all in with my normal tiredness. Hope today feels better.

Good Morning Everyone
hope you’re all keeping well 💗 Today is my one month birthday of no 🍷 It feels great.
The thing I’m struggling with at the moment is my partners drinking. He doesn’t get drunk (maybe twice in the last month) but he drinks every night, which we didn’t even do when I was drinking. We usually only drank Friday, Saturday Sunday but I’ve noticed he’s been drinking every single night for the last two weeks. Im actually finding it really irritating! Is this normal to feel like this when quitting? I’ve been around people drinking and it hasn’t bothered me and I don’t even feel like I want to drink but I’m really finding his every day drinking hard.
anyway how is everyone doing? Hope you’re all having a good week so far xx

Congratulations @TiA303091 on your one month sober! Will you mark it any way? It's a great achievement - I hope you are feeling super proud!

Yep, really annoyed me when dh drank at home when I was doing my 100 day challenge. He normally only drinks Thurs-Sun but if he's stressed he'll drink on one or two others. For us tho, me cutting right back and not buying alcohol for the house (I do all the food shopping and used to buy wine and cider for the house) has helped him cut down loads...but it's taken a good few months to start seeing changes in him. Hopefully your partner will be the same, but I know just how irritating it is so you have my sympathies.

Hi @ForeverTipsy thank you. I’ve not even thought about marking it? I am going out on Saturday with my friends for a meal for my birthday so will probably have a huge pudding 🤣
I’m glad it’s not just me that finds this irritating. I have spoke to him but he got quite defensive so I won’t bother. Just feel like he’s gone in the complete opposite direction and got worse since I stopped xx

Urgh, been on all day online training and have been so bored that for the first time in five weeks I'm craving a drink now. Just want to get a little tipsy for something to do really. An old habit. I shall have a bath and pamper instead as already have a headache and don't want to make it worse (and am taking kids out tomorrow so cannot afford a hangover).

Roll on 1st November.

Happy birthday @TiA303091 🥳 Enjoy your giant dessert on Saturday evening!

Well done for hanging on in there @ForeverTipsy and congrats @TiA303091.

All ok over here. I’m still moderating, just back from a little mini break and I drank a bit but didn’t go mad. Night out tonight with some friends who can be really boozy - bar first then restaurant. My tactic is to drink mocktails in the bar and have wine just with dinner.

Great tactic @Addictforanex - hope it's working well for you tonight! We all know it's sensible to eat before/during drinking, I'm guessing most of us just don't normally do that (or didn't). I know my favourite glass of wine was the one before eating, as it went straight to my head. Oh it feels so weird to finally grow up!

I'm not gonna lie, day 39 here and I cannot wait til next Saturday night when I can enjoy a drink or two. Am already thinking about what my first drink after 6 weeks dry will be (probably rose or prosecco).

Hope everyone else is doing well with moderating or abstaining.

Hi all - am new to this thread.
I absolutely love the feeling of when wine hits your bloodstream.
It was also a treat at home and a cosy generous thing at home as a girl - to see my df say who wd like a drink and open his posh drinks cabinet and do all
sorts of drinks. -like a mini well stocked pub .
my mum also had a gin every day at 4pm as a livener and continued all night .It was notmal for her . She also smoked until her latter years when she could not afford it . She died at 73 of abstos poisoning not the booze of cigarettes.
Anyway - I associate, like many of us do , alcohol with fun and relaxation.Love the ritual of it .
Have drank daily since I graduated and now am 61 ! ( exept from when pregnant and bf)

My dh does not drink at home, whereas I love being by the fire with t v and wine . Rarley drink too much as in get drunk , know when to stop , but was x7 days a week for years and over the recommended limit ( half to 3/4 bottle of wine a day )

But …! ive read recently that it is poison to all the cells in your body .
I visualised the liver and decided to have one day off. .. have now done day 2 and day 3. Ive not done 3 days since many years !
we have x4 house guests tomorrow and they drink v v little and sometimes ‘ lecture’ me , out of love not to drink so much - this actually brings out my rebellious side
and i want to drink more! ( one guest has never drank and never will)
I will never be able to be af for life or a month. I enjoy wine v much .. but realise moderation is healthier!
was fine y day but have cravings since reading this thread!

I just wanted to jump on to say to you all I know what it's like ! So so addictive and nice .

So for me regular af days are the way forward.
wishing you all the very best in your journey’s .

Any good low cal af drinks please? i am used to sipping un the evening and I don't know what to drink instead. i do not like water !

Welcome @Ginandbitterlemons , sounds like you've had a great start by having a couple of AF drinks. If you're just moderating, have you downloaded any apps? I like the NHS Drink Free Days and the Drink Aware one. Great for tracking progress and seeing how many units you've had, money and calories saved, and looking for patterns as to why you drink more sometimes.

As for AF drinks, I go a bit mad sometimes and go to a bigger supermarket and buy loads of cordials, fizzy water and citrus fruits to slice up and mix. I have a subscription to Trip drinks which I enjoy as not too sweet. Also recently bought some organic cacao and have that with coconut milk for a healthier hot chocolate that tastes a bit like a Bounty. I enjoy fruit tea and peppermint tea, home-made smoothies. I'm not a beer drinker so not tried the AF beers and lagers but they get rave reviews on here, as does 0% Guinness.

Good luck hosting your friends and well done for making healthier choices, your liver, kidneys, brain etc will thank you!