On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

I’m planning to keep it tight until the holiday itself, then relax. I love a nice relaxed breakfast with Prosecco and Christmas is the only day I can do that; then it’s a shame to waste the bottle and I’ll have a nice Chablis or Chardonnay later on. Probably not the whole bottle of that! Then be relaxed during the betwixtmas part, and start gearing back up to discipline after new year. I don’t go out much though (and even less without driving) so temptation is more limited.

I’m going to attack December in a very similar way to you @ForeverTipsy. Last year I tracked I drank 135 units in December, so a win for me will be to be sub 100, not worrying too much about all my rules but I suspect that I will naturally drink less because of my 11 months of moderating discipline beforehand. Also last year I had a big boozy night out with a particular group of friends per usual but this year it is a) lunch and b) in a venue I’ll drive to.

Then like you, back to Dry January.

@DoubtfulCat that’s a good strategy - my wedding anniversary is just before Christmas and so we always have wedding champagne that day but I think the idea of keeping it to proper exceptions until Christmas Day itself is a great one.

@ForeverTipsy yeah the 'festive season' can be a real bugger for lots of reasons, definitely including if you're trying to be sober or moderating.

We have been known to get in loads of 'Christmas Milk' (Baileys) and have it in our coffee over the break. Then there's days on end with no structure from work or even knowing what day of the week it is, with a house loaded with snacks and delicious booze!

Fun though that is, I've had a bit of a wobble in Sept and October and I'm determined to see the year out sober. I'm just not going to drink.

We have people coming round on Saturday and there's a strong chance I'll play a joker and have a few liquors but maybe not. I'm going to see how I feel on the day.

Over halfway through the AI holiday… I had one afternoon without DH and thought I’d have a half glass of bubbly… 1 unit max and I immediately got a headache which has fully put me off for the rest of the trip. I’ve been on the mocktails and teas and 0% stuff when we can find it (no alcohol free options at the hotel, only out).

well done @cranewife

I had the merest snifter from my pal's hip flask at the monument yesterday (seemed rude not to) but I'm not counting it! We went to the pub after and was very sensible and had an orange juice. Just over 2 weeks at the moment, and I'm pleased about that.

How's everyone doing? I tell you what, if it wasn't for this thread + apps + not having booze in the house then I definitely would have been drinking every night for the past week. Just that kind of mood lately. Honestly so grateful to you all for keeping this thread going.

I realised when I started tracking a year ago that the week before my period is when my stress, and therefore drinking, spikes. It's been reallllly hard to not go and buy a bottle of wine the past few nights. I know the drinking would have led to eating unhealthy crap, too. I'm still losing tiny bits of weight and know it's because I'm moderating well.

Just checked apps and after a shaky-ish start to November, I've actually only drank on four days. Goal was to aim for 4 or 5 drink-free nights a week, meaning I had 8-12 'drink token days'. I have a night out this Sat and the following Friday where I'll be, and will probs use my other tokens for a glass or two of red on a Sunday night. Accountability is everything isn't it?

Amazing work on the AI holiday @cranewife ! Not sure I could do that tbh, but know you'll be reaping alll the rewards like not having headaches.

Well done @BezMills for only having a wee snifter on Remembrance Sunday. A 2-week streak is fantastic, especially at this time of year (for me, anyway...just wanna cosy up with Netflix and a large glass of red!!).

@ForeverTipsy I’m on day 4 of abstinence. Aiming for a dry Friday and a dry Sunday this weekend.

I do the drink tokens things too btw! Partly dry tomorrow because I’m having supper with a friend next Wednesday and I want to have a glass of wine with her.

I agree @ForeverTipsy , this week and last week have felt a lot. I don’t know, second week out from half term maybe, clocks have changed, rain has come… none of it helps mood, does it?

Hoping for a quiet one here. OH is away so I may drink a bit less because I’ll be reading or watching a film instead of chatting.

yes definitely agree about being back to school, the rain, the dark. None of it helps the mood, does it!

Nope, none of it helps. I take Vitamin D (and a host of other vits and minerals) to fight off Seasonal Affective Disorder, and think they help.

Also need to remind myself every day that alcohol is a depressant..!

Anyone else use social media and notice since moderating how much of their "memories" that come up centre around booze? Good to reflect and feel a bit proud of the progress made.

@ForeverTipsy god yes, there are a lot of memories involving me looking very happy holding a drink, or talking about drinking!

Welp I played my joker yesterday and had a few liquor drinks with friends round the table, after cooking all day. The visitors left and normally I would be off to the pub with them (didn't). The second thing that normally would happen is I get a thirsty head on and smash into more booze. The guests had left a few brews in the fridge, but I chose a stubby 330ml and took my time with it, and that was that.

Funny thing, my smart watch told me in the morning some biomarkers were out of range, which I remember happening last time too. Crazy how there's a measurable impact to just a few drinks (wasn't plastered at all).

Today my penance is taking DD8 and her friend to Little Mermaid the musical. I'm not thrilled about that but yanno, it's happening. At least I'm not hella hungover, just mildly

Dry Friday despite storm induced travel chaos! Two gins and shared a bottle of wine between 4 last night and no desire to open a second bottle. Am taking that as a win…

Logging my drinks gave me very disturbing guilt-dreams last night! Cannot cope, my conscience has been properly switched on 🫣

I envy the husband who doesn’t appear to have this switch. I miss the days I could go out to the pub when it opened without it meaning something (admittedly those days were 20+ years ago and I was a student, but still).

Aging sucks. Alcohol being a poison sucks. Argh!

Good morning. All hope you’re all keeping well.
Day 56 of no booze here. I’ve got bottles of wine in the cupboard from what people bought me for my birthday two weeks ago and I’ve not even thought about them until I actually saw them there yesterday. Obviously I was ready to quit this time. I went on a spa break with my husband last Friday and it was probably the first time I thought about having a drink. In the end I decided not to and I didn’t regret that decision in the morning at all. I still had the best time if not better.
how is everyone doing? How was your weekend?
xxx

Morning all. Yesterday I dodged many bullets.

Woke up a bit hungover with beer in the fridge. Did not drink.
Went out for brunch with the guilty parties from Saturday's drinks. Did not drink.
Arrived at theatre almost an hour early in a freezing cold town full of nice warm pubs. Did not drink.
Went to get tickets from box office, bar was already open, no queue. Did not drink.
First part was 2 (two!) hours long, bar open at interval. Did not drink.
Arrived home at tea time with head ringing from 3+ hours of enthusiastic amplified amateur theatre singers. Fridge still containing many delicious beers. Did not drink.

Feeling pretty good about that altogether.

@BezMills well done you! I bet you feel great! Xx

Amazing work @BezMills ! That is some serious willpower you had yesterday - send some my way won't you please?!

Congrats @TiA303091 56 days is immense! Does it feel like something has really clicked this time? Spa day sounds lovely, esp with no hangover the next day.

I'm a bit like you this weekend @DoubtfulCat . I went out with friends on Saturday night and enjoyed a few glasses of wine. Logged it all yesterday and it was over 8 units. Felt very tired and jaded yesterday, and realised I don't think I'll ever be able to stop tracking/counting as it's such a slippery slope. I can't have one or two in a social situation without getting a "drinky head" on like someone else described. Ageing doesn't help, either, I agree!

@ForeverTipsy exactly that, and I keep thinking about my parents and their friends who never changed their habits and a whingey little voice inside me goes “It’s not FAAAIIIIR”

I do contemplate going completely sober, but I really don’t want to have to!

Ditto @DoubtfulCat, ditto. My parents were both alcoholics, and in my mum's case her drinking did contribute to her death at 59 (along with the diabetes and poor mental health). What do you mean that your parents and their friends never changed their habits? Do you mean they continued to drink to excess well into their 50's/60's without any problems?

Yep, I keep thinking about doing another 100 days in a row next year. Need a break from the mental gymnastics of do I/don't I. I host quite a bit from now until Christmas though, and mates will be drinking. I have done it sober before, but goddamit it's not nearly as much fun !

Do you mean they continued to drink to excess well into their 50's/60's without any problems?

Yes, exactly. In fact my dad had a PM and his liver and other organs were found to be in great shape (it was a pity about the mesothelioma).

Ah, it is what it is. I can cope and moan if I want to, and will seize chances to go out and drive so I avoid drinks. Tea all evening makes me have to get up in the night these days, which is annoying and removes the good-sleep element of not drinking, but when OH and I sit together on a weekend it’s nice to drink something.

I just need to keep it down most weeks, avoid the whisky or only have whisky. Then occasionally I can have what I want, if I want to go overboard I can. Right? 🤔😅

Thank you @ForeverTipsy The spa break was amazing and yes so lovely to wake up in an amazing setting and feel fine and relaxed other breakfast (my favourite bit) without feeling rough.
@DoubtfulCat and @ForeverTipsy This is what’s making me stick to complete abstinence. The logistics and the amount of mental headspace it took me to think about the amount I was going to drink, the constant planning, the constant worry that I may drink to much and have a hangover, the anxiety….just wasn’t worth it anymore. I know it sounds cliche but I honestly have a sense of freedom now. When I go out to things such as the spa day I don’t even have to worry about drinking and it gave me more time to actually enjoy the other things. Plus the time went so fast I can’t imagine what I would’ve missed if I’d have been drinking.
unfortunately I’ve never been a good moderator and after 2 or 3 drinks my head just didn’t know when to stop.
i did and sometimes do still worry will things be fun anymore but if they are only fun when you’re drinking are they really that fun anyway? I think my next biggie is a sober Christmas! All the build up especially as I’d always have a drink wrapping the presents, have a drink watching the Christmas films etc etc but I’m definitely thinking this will still be as much fun as with a drink.
I often look at my parents and my mum especially would be so much better if she could give up. She doesn’t drink a lot in one go but then it doesn’t take a lot. But for as long as I can remember it’s been a cycle of drinking, being drunk then very hungover then a couple of normal days then the cycle starts again. She doesn’t have a lot of confidence anymore (started with menopause) she is an anxious nervous person and I think the drink releases her from feeling that way but it’s not doing her any good mentally or physically. I don’t want to be like that and I feel we are very similar. Sorry I’ve blabbed on 💗💗

@TiA303091 you've not blabbed on. Everything you say there could be me.
I'm definitely abstaining, can't moderate, not worth it for me.
Some great af fizz for Christmas is the way forward for me.
So true about drinking not even being fun so I've no idea why we think we're missing out. Nature of addiction I suppose.

@Goandygo thank you. My friend is trying to cut down too but she’s just told me she’s going to a bongo bingo event and she’ll NEED to drink. I completely get her, I would need to drink if I was going there too. I just find more enjoyment in other things now I don’t drink. My mind is a lot quieter.
How are you finding abstaining completely? Xx