On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstain (judgement-free zone). New thread - Autumn 2025.

[ForeverTipsy]

Hello, here's a shiny new thread for us all - took the liberty after gaining permission from The Original OP @nowstrong! Please tag anyone from the last thread I may have missed...hopefully you can all find us here...

@horrorfan81 @BezMills @hohofortherobbers @addictforanex @alertcat @harriethoyle @StrongLikeMamma @LillyPJ @ohthejoysoftoddler

Hope everyone’s had a good start to the week. I successfully survived my first AF weekend which included a family lunch, pub dinner, and a concert. I’ve never been to a concert without having a drink, maybe the band were just rubbish but it definitely seemed a bit more boring 😂 I kept wondering what to do with my hands! But I also calculated we saved about £70(!!!) what with pre drinks, mad London prices and the inevitable tinny on the way home. So I’m very pleased with that. Alongside what the TryDry app calculates I’ve saved I’ve got a tally in my notes and I’ve estimated we’re already at £80.

How long does it take to feel a difference in sleep quality? Unfortunately I’m not seeing any improvement there so far.

I found sleep improvement after 7-10 days. I've had so many good sleeps since going AF, now they are the norm. Whereas before, shitty sleeps were normal and getting a great kip once a week if that.

Oh I’m sorry to read this @newme2025 . I was on your other thread. This is NOT the end of the world and does NOT mean there’s no hope.

Has your partner managed to abstain?

Good morning everyone and welcome to the newbies to the group. Today I am 44 days 🍷 free! And I’ve just had my 40th birthday and abstained from drinking. I feel if I can do that I can do most things sober.
@Takingbackmylife I can really relate to your post. I’ve given up alcohol before and went back to it tried to moderate which worked for a while then it just crept back that when I started I couldn’t stop. I didn’t drink every day usually just at the weekends and I don’t go out I usually use to drink at home with DH just to relax and because it was the weekends. Problem was 8 times out of 10 whether I was at home or out, I wouldn’t remember most of the night, the blackouts got too frequent, the hangovers were getting worse (perimenopause), the anxiety was getting worse and after one particularly bad night of going off on one I decided that there was more to life. It’s great that you’re doing something for you and if you can moderate which people can (I’m just not one of them) then it’s a massive step in the right direction. Wish you all the luck 🍀

At the moment I feel like I’m just crushing along in the world of sobriety but I’m waiting for those bumps in the road. It’s only been 44 days so I know there will be harder days to come. Christmas probably being one of them. First Christmas completely sober around a lot of people who enjoy a drink.

Hope you’re all keeping well anyway. Sending lots of love 🥰

congratulations @TiA303091, that’s great! hmmm I remember my own 40th when I fell over in a club 🙄😳.

All good here, October was less than 14 units a week on average and November has been AF so far.

Welcome to the new posters.

A friend came round last night complete with bottle of Prosecco… declined it on the basis of no midweek drinking and had tea instead. Felt very virtuous!

Thats fantastic @TiA303091 - great willpower

I had a dry night on my 50th (then had 4 beers at the beach 3 days later, breaking my 6 months sober streak). Both we good in their own way.

I had my last beer a week past Monday, so I'm racking up the dry streak again. In a couple days I'll have had more days off than the streak of 10 drinky drinky days that preceded it. This pleases me a lot.

Keep on keeping on threadsters

@harriethoyle ypu also have good willpower too! How did your friend feel drinking alone? It’s good that you didn’t feel any peer pressure.
@BezMills thats brilliant. Well done to you.
My birthday last year was a disaster! I went out with my husband on the Friday for a meal and we both ended up getting really drunk, I woke up late on the Saturday morning with a hangover and was due to go to a spa with my sister within an hour of waking up. Went to the spa and basically just carried on drinking all day and night, can’t remember much of it and then woke up on the Sunday (my actual birthday) so hungover, so poorly and trying to cope with my anxiety. It was just horrendous. This birthday has 💯 outweighed last years. Xx

@TiA303091 that's great that you had a sober 40th birthday. Your description of your last birthday sounded so familiar to me, a regular occurrence in fact.
My af birthday this year (58) was so lovely.

She had tea as well @TiA303091 - we've agreed to save the fizz for a dinner we have planned at the beginning of December so it's a pleasure delayed not denied!

@harriethoyle thats really good that she joined you xx

What’s everyone’s weekend plans? Anything bonfire related?!
We have a bonfire at a local school then back to local friends after who drink ALOT! I’ve told myself we are not going back after much to my son’s disappointment as I don’t want to drink! I just wonder if I should go and test myself?! I have a gym class at 815 tomorrow, my third of the week and I want to make it.. fresh!
We then have a kids party at a neighbor’s (mansion!) tomorrow day time… parents invited for drinks and nibbles…now for this I definitely want to abstain and am telling myself it’s a kids party ffs, I am not there to get drunk!

Lastly, my MIL is coming Saturday night… who drinks ALOT and i’d usually join her even though my DH wouldn’t, in order to tolerate her lol but I plan again to drink ZERO so I am fresh to take my son swimming Sunday morning.

I have found I’m vaping when I crave a drink. I don’t usually vape (unless drinking!) and I never smoked but it gives me the buzz I’m not getting from alcohol. I know it’s bad but one step at a time and if I stops me drinking then surely it’s better than both?!

Good luck with the socializing gauntlet @Takingbackmylife, sounds like you have some strategies in place 👏🏻.

Breaking my 12 day dry streak tonight by sharing a bottle of red wine with DP. Got some nice steaks from the butchers and going to do truffle and Parmesan fries, blue cheese sauce, mushrooms, tenderstem broccoli, and sweet potatoe wedge sides with them.

@Takingbackmylife gosh, that is a lot of socialising and alcohol-related hurdles to face. Having an 08.15hrs exercise class would definitely keep me on the straight and narrow. Hopefully you'll enjoy the fireworks display sober, and again the kids' party tomorrow with soft drinks only. My family have always drank on kid's birthdays, even if the child was a toddler. Any excuse eh, tho I always found it a bit odd tbh.

@Addictforanex oh wow, I was salivating just reading about your steak dinner! Enjoy, and a 12 day streak is fantastic.

I drank 7.2 units last Sat, 2.2 Sun and 5.1 units Weds, so I'm on the Sober train for a few nights now. May have a small glass of red Sunday night as only 2.2 units and I did enjoy it last week (that time of year for red wine in front of the fire/TV eh).

Have a fab weekend everyone!

So we went to friends house before the fireworks and I was given a glass of champagne as I walked through the door! I could have said no… but I didn’t! I drank it but nothing else and didn’t go back after even though my son had a full on meltdown! Now I’m feeling fresh and know I’ll get up for my 815 gym class!

I do wish I’d not had it at all and my DH did say ‘why didn’t you just say no?’ But I don’t even know why…

Anyway, I’m fine with one but tomorrow I’ll do even better and have none!

@Takingbackmylife it was only 1 and you did well not carrying on. I would have. And you're up for your class, so overall a good result.
It's great when people share like this because it helps us prepare.
I think if that happens to me, I'll say thanks with a cheery smile, then dispose. Because I'd carry on.

@Addictforanex hope you enjoyed your red and that culinary feast !
I thought I could cook 🤣.
I had salmon, rice, greens and eisberg sauvignon Blanc, which was really nice.

@Takingbackmylife well done on only having one. I’m the same as others and probably would’ve thought after one that my sober streak is broken, may as well carry on, so I admire your self control!

Currently 24 hours in to an all inclusive holiday which I didn’t even think about when I started this sober month. I have resisted so far by taking advice from this thread and telling myself I’ll drink tomorrow/at dinner/after dinner… rinse and repeat. Immensely proud of us for not giving in yet and pleasantly surprised to find out I can still enjoy a swim up bar with a virgin pina colada. Wishing everyone a similarly sober/moderate weekend with no hangxiety in the morning!

@cranewife well done, you're doing brilliantly.
We were due to go on an all inclusive to Jamaica but obviously it's cancelled. Booked before I decided to quit for good.
We're now going to a place I've been going to for 30 years, and always drank. I'm 5 months af though, and I definitely do not want to drink.
I think I can do it ( we go on Wednesday) - I'll definitely take inspiration from you. I'm actually looking forward to not being hungover on holiday - that'll be a first.
I think telling myself later, or tomorrow will definitely work for me, if the wine witch attacks.

Thanks! We went to the kids party today too and I had a glass of champagne on arrival then filled my glass with lemonade so I felt included but not drunk! Now home I am so pleased! The rest were knocking it back!

Ahh I know on holiday it’s tempting but I also get bad headaches in the heat and worry about heat stroke so being in a hot country puts me off! I hope you manage to resist and you’ll have such nicer sleeps and feel fresher!

Last night was a significant win for me. I was this || close to pouring myself a large one late evening and I really really fancied doing it. But I kept telling myself it wouldn't be as nice as waking up today knowing I didn't.

I didn't drink. Happy with that. Now at 12 days streak and keeping on. Today is another trigger point. I usually take a hip flask to the armistice parade and pour a drop on the grass and drink to the fallen. Today I'll go as I always do, but just not do that.

Epic fail over this weekend - away with friends and just very boozy 🙈 however DH away with work until Friday and so I’m going to stay dry this week whilst home alone. We also have no plans next weekend and so I’m toying with the idea of remaining dry then…

@Goandygo @Takingbackmylife not being hungover/having that horrible mid afternoon sunstroked dizziness has definitely made it worth it. I’m telling myself I can have one this week when DH is otherwise engaged (not hiding it from him, but if he sees me indulge he probably will too) and keep putting off that one drink, but honestly if I keep going like this I may make it through completely dry. I’m sure partly due to this thread so thank you to everyone here for their honesty and encouragement.
Found a place nearby that did NA lager which satisfied the craving last night. Did struggle to decline the local wine at the à la carte dinner but didn’t cave.
@BezMills “it wouldn't be as nice as waking up today knowing I didn't” words to remind myself of!! Thank you

I agree @cranewife - @BezMills ' words are very wise - definitely a mantra for those evenings when we've pledged to be dry and are struggling!

Massive well done to those on holiday, socialising with drinkers, being at home alone or performing age-old rituals that involve booze, without the drink. You are all amazing!

Anyone else here already worrying about moderating in December? I've decided my goal for November is to average 14 units per week (currently on track, just). But then December I'd like to lift any restrictions and see how I go...last year I totalled 87 units in December (using DrinkAware app) so I'd like to do less. Will then do Dry Jan + beyond to compensate. I'm just already kind.a dreading DH doing the 'wine shop' in the first week of December, plus we'll treat ourselves to some Baileys, port, him some dark rum (I am quite partial to a rum+coke sometimes) and I can already feel myself slipping into old habits and ultimately gaining back the 5kgs I've spent the last 8 months losing, and feeling tired, dehydrated, bloated, lethargic etc but having no 'off' switch 'cos fuck it, it's Christmas (face palm).

Sorry for the rant.