Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

@tayloreanyes, due on and 41 and stressed so the pms is insane!!!! Also i have spots but my under eye wrinkles are much much better!!! And eyes whiter! I could do with this bloody post divorce glow up I’ve been promised 🤣🤣🤣 spots might be because I’m eating chocolate every night 🙈🙈🙈

Anxiety has got me snatched tho 🤣🤣🤣

@malazzie imagine how much worse anxiety would be with a hangover. It’ll pass.

Evening all.
I'm waiting on MacKay's raspberry ripple ice cream.

@elusivehope i like a Mac or Shiseido pencil if I'm paying for it. Liner is better on the top lid with wet eyeshadow underneath. Everyone suits a brown pencil with a beige eyeshadow all over.
Huda nudes are good. If you're feeling fancy a bit of taupe in the socket.

I've been clothes sorting ready for ebay. This is my posh stuff, 21 bags went to the charity shop.

I've bought myself a Holywood mirror. I fancy a mature YouTube channel. My first job in New York was as a make up artist.

@postcardi took a beta blocker today which I never did whilst drinking. My theory is that I have removed my usual coping mechanisms (wine) but haven’t yet learnt new ones so this is just a tricky transition period. Alcohol did do a good job of quietening the mind. I think I have adhd. I didn’t drink daily but a few times a week I’d have the craving to drink a bottle of wine alone at home. It was like a relief from all the chaos in my mind. Anyway I went for a run instead this evening and feel a million times better now.
thanks for this group it’s really helping xx

Morning all.
Waving to all the newcomers! Glad you’ve found us.
Saw my surgeon yesterday and I am healed enough from my last surgery to have the next operation. Just waiting for a date now. I finally feel physically more or less OK now - it’s strange how we forget how that feels after a while.
Good luck to anyone who finds Friday a challenge. Do you have a plan for how you’re going to deal with your “trigger” time?

Morning all.
Up with a dodgy knee.

The dog is on mama duty.
Very excited to be viewing the cottage today. Apparently we'd have TV celebrity neighbours.
I'm just hoping it's not falling apart. After this last few weeks of sorting I don't fancy immediate renovations.

Friday is always tricky but I've been too ill to even think about booze. Like @ShyMaryEllen i scared myself with various tests and then when I had the all clear decided to put myself forward to donate a kidney. Although I was too late for my brother I know I could do it for my family if needs be. I'm proud of that.

Wishing you all peace and success today.

Happy Friday all!

My previous trigger time was after getting the kids home from school- I would be mixing up a margarita by 3.30. Now I go straight out to the gym then walk the long way home, its a nice evening of exercise and by the time I am home and showered I am totally over the urge to have a drink - I am all about getting my protein in, and having a chilled evening with DH

Good luck to everyone avoiding the Friday urge!

What @malazzie said is really striking.

I found diagnosis and the right medication life-changing. Sertraline also improved PMS symptoms dramatically.

There are no cures for the chronic condition of being a flawed human being who fails constantly - but I do feel more normal now 😂😂😂

Happy Friday everyone. I hope you find some down-time and enjoyment!

I also have (undiagnosed) ADHD. I think a few of us do. A buzzing brain, overwhelm and reduced impulse control are not a great combo, and as getting proper medication is very difficult it’s no wonder we turn to the bottle. More understanding of all of this is very helpful though. I am much kinder to myself than I used to be now I have more insight into it.

Morning and welcome to the new posters 👋
@HorrorFan81since I've started this it's actually baffling to me how we go through believing that moderation is even an option. I don't even think it's much of an option for the moderators. It ALWAYS creeps back up, maybe not immediately, maybe not in a year, but it does. I firmly believe that once you're at a certain threshold your body will fight to get you back there.
@FiloPastywell done for taking that first step. Am interested to hear how your appointment goes. Echo what others have said regarding help and provision. I have to do health screening through work and even told them last year re my drinking (it's a private appointment so it wouldn't have got back) and it would have firmly put me in the high risk category - and I was honest! The doctor really did shrug it off and I think it's because I didn't say it was something I needed help with. I look back and think what were they thinking. I hope I've caught it before the health risks kick in but only time will tell. I'm big on fitness so maybe the yin yang of my life will have helped.
@SentfromSamsungI am very interested in what you mean by seeing people from another point of view. Is that just from drinking experiences?

Friday still a tricky day for me but determined to keep at it and looking forward to a fresh Saturday morning. This evening's activity will be making a Victoria sponge!

It's wonderful to see so many new posters - I'm so glad you've found us. This is such a friendly, supportive space.

Strength and courage as we head into the weekend. Getting very autumnal now. It will be alright. xx

@Lavrander I've had the same experience with my GP shrugging it off. And yet it was the same GP who, in another appointment, told me that we shouldn't drink any alcohol at all!

I was out with friends for a curry last night. It was a place that doesn't serve alcohol so my friends took some beer and wine. I didn't know in advance otherwise I'd have taken some cold AF beer, but I just stuck to tap water and sparkling water and nobody commented on me not drinking. I must admit that the red wine did smell really nice but I just enjoyed the smell and knew I wouldn't drink any. I don't think trying to moderate would work for me and I think it's best or easiest for me not to attempt it. I like having just one simple rule: no alcohol.

Thanks everyone for the welcome, I just got my 7 day badge on the Try Dry App this is an absolute record for me.

I’ve been out on blood pressure medication and am hypothyroid so I think friends will be fine with me abstaining as I’m saying I don’t want to mess with my meds. I also live pretty rurally so going out often includes driving.

Despite always being pretty fit and active after my hypothyroidism diagnosis crossed with peri menopause and my drinking I’ve put in 4 stone over the past 5 years. This one week without booze and I’ve already lost 7lb which is also helping my resolve.
I’ve just spoken to my husband about our upcoming holiday and have said I’m abstaining, I think that will be a real test for me, but I really feel that now is the time to commit to this change.

Public Service Announcement

The Alcohol Free Company has a sale on. Most of it is beer, but there are other options, including wine and whisky, and the discounts are good. I've just ordered spiced rum cocktails and passion fruit martinis, both 0% ABV for 25p and 50p a can respectively. There are limited amounts left, so get in quick if you want to stock up.

https://thealcoholfreeco.co.uk

Well done @FiloPasty ! Incidentally, I've lost about a stone since I stopped drinking and my blood pressure,which was on the high side, is now normal. I didn't realise alcohol did so much damage.

@LillyPJ thank you that sounds very encouraging
@ShyMaryEllen have done a little order. Last weekend I tried the Thatchers 0% cider (I’m normally a wine drinker) and I thought they were nice and refreshing.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - some is sold out but I've ordered a stash.

I've been impressed with how much better AF wine is since I was first pregnant, when it was vile - I decided it was better to stick to Becks Blue and tea. Really looking forward to my delivery!!

Hey happy Friday people ! Hope everyone is having a good night.

Fridays were ALWAYS my downfall and I wondered at one point would I ever be able to go through one without a glass of wine… but it’s amazing how over time the brain pathways change and how those thoughts fade. I do have to still have an end of week reward - tonight it has been a takeaway, sometimes chocolate and most times an ice cold alcohol free drink

Anyone else have an alternative reward system in place ?

the best reward though is waking up Saturday morning with a clear head - that is the best feeling !

I tried my first alcohol free beer and went to the pub for a hobby social, so feel quite proud of that. Day 8 done :) this is the longest break I’ve had in a long time.

Great stuff, @FiloPasty! Every first is a big step. You need to build up your sober muscles, and that’s the way to do it. The first night out, the first party, the first time you dance sober, go on holiday- all of those things seem impossible until you do them, then you find they’re not. You’ll get there, one foot in front of the other.

That’s brilliant @FiloPasty well done you! Hold on to the proud feeling it’s good 😊

Goddddd I’m so sorry everyone for my repetitive posts but just completed day 19 and I feel savage. I’m due on and divorcing someone who really wants to ruin my life so that doesn’t help but I feel so depressed and i am crying so much. It does feel like I’m processing things I have numbed but please tell me it gets better???? Chat gpt says this can be a frequent time when anxiety can be quite high as my chemicals stabilise. I can ride it out with some reassurance it will pass I think. I went to the pub tonight but I didn’t drink and getting out and seeing people helped x

Hey well done on 19 days and yes it definitely does get better. When I was 3-4 weeks in a had some mega stress reaction to something at work ending up me bursting in to tears in the office! Totally unlike me and am pleased to say that those feelings did ease off after then and I’m thankful to say haven’t returned

definitely ride it out - it will pass