Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

That's brilliant @ShyMaryEllen ! Now I want to do a rude cross stitch too. Plus it's a good project to keep me occupied and not thinking about the wine I'm not having.

That's great @ShyMaryEllen - it really made me smile. They sell cards like that in the local bookshop and they're always good for a browse. I used to do cross stitch - on the tapestry these days, but hard to find decent kits anymore.

Strength and courage. xx

Its always pretty much loneyness @Lavrander 😔

I drank Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Pretty much started on Sunday at like 11am after falling asleep/passing out at 4am. I wasnt alone as my good friend stayed all weekend so there was that element. But he slept loads during Saturday and Sunday day time so I did alot of drinking alone watching telly anyway.

I went for 1 pint at 4pm Friday and he walked past and he is my best friend. He also trys not to drink and does lots of sober stuff and has plenty of sobriety under his belt. We just lost the plot Friday and then carried on to stem the anxiety and all the other hangover joys. Rince and repeat.

Slept the last few hours and showered. I will not drink today and just get through it now. Heal more tomorrow then do the Wednesday AA. I'm too much of a basket case to go this evening plus it would mean leaving the kids with my eldest.

I keep failing at the weekend and I am so scared it'll happen again this weekend too. But will go one day at a time and try and not fret about what hasnt happened or come to pass yet.

@LillyPJ thank you for your encouraging words and advice. Today is indeed a new start, and you guys on here provide great support and are so honest about your own struggles - @Becky37 I hope you are beginning to feel better this afternoon - we can do this 💪

One day at a time @Becky37. Or even one hour a time. When you feel up to it perhaps plan something for the weekend that keeps you away from the temptation. I totally get the loneliness.. it's sort of boredom too all in one, and we've got so many months and years of practice doing the one thing we don't want to do anymore!

Speaking of practice I had a real urge just now on the way to the train to pop into the corner shop and get some wine. Used to buy three bottles without fail and try and ram them into my laptop bag so that the clinking wasn't so obvious. I even still right now have the sort of taste urge. Anyone get that? I did go in but bought myself some coffee grounds and got the hell out of there. Glad I've got some AF options in the fridge for when I get home.

I once bought a handbag mainly because it was big enough to get a wine bottle in.

@LillyPJ a jaegar tote per chance? That was my booze bag. 😂

@Swimfreak

Finally back in bed and all chdren fed and watered, bed changed and the three small ones are all asleep now. Feel pretty depressed and dispondent but I know things will look up and get better as lomg as I dont have a drink. I am determined to try and sort the house out a bit tomorrow, hopfully sleep will come shortly, imagine it will as am exausted. How are you doing your end of things? Sending support and love to you, it is such a battle isnt it 😔❤️‍🩹

@Lavrander

The loneyness and boredom and the fact the kiddos get colllected at 3-15 from school fridays and do not come back untill Sunday evening. I had been doing Park run Saturday so kind of good for Fridays MOSTLY but I then crack Saturday instead so need something for Saturday evenings that tires me out. May ask my mum if I can stay this Saturday at hers just to get away from being right in the bloody center of town SURROUNDED by pubs and bars. I need to move so much but such an impossibility financially. Especially as I still have no nursing job so on UC which i keep blowing on bloody booze. I need to stop this mania or when i do gwt a job I am fucked

@elusivehope 💜

Hello everyone I’m day 15 after drinking 1.5 bottle of wine maybe 4 nights a week 🙈🙈🙈 could do with some buddies to chat with :) xx

Hello @malazzie ! Well done for 15 days. There are plenty of people here to chat with and they're all supportive and understanding. It's always nice to see new faces ( not literally, of course).

I once bought a handbag mainly because it was big enough to get a wine bottle in. @LillyPJ I know that's not funny, but it made me grin because it's so relatable! I have an enormous rucksack that I carry round everywhere - it's not very chic, but it's very useful given that I cycle between home and shops and work. And it has separate pockets where I used to stash multiple individual bottles, so they wouldn't clink 😟

@WendyWagon I fully agree that Ocado delivery is a priority! Not least because of their excellent selection of AF drinks. And Badoit fizzy water, don't forget the Badoit.

Well done on your new start @Swimfreak and you too @Becky37 . Becky your idea of going to your mum's on Saturday evening is a good one. I think at the beginning you have to pull all the stops out to try to keep yourself safe from the poison. Would online recovery meetings on the weekends maybe also help, if the physical ones aren't happening at the right times? You can do this!

Love your cross-stitch project @ShyMaryEllen ! I've seen that image before and it's very funny. All the more so because people in pre-modern Europe did use some very colourful language as a matter of course.

Welcome @malazzie and bravo on day 15!

I did some work in a beautiful old library today and really enjoyed it. It was very quiet because the students aren't back yet. You could look out the windows and see the wind swaying the treetops. I need to get out of the house more often. I always think it's easier to work from home, but a change of scene is good.

Sadly my elevated mood didn't last because DH came home and had a go at me about not having done any tidying up. It's true I told him this morning that I planned to tidy up, but I ended up going to the library instead. He's very fond of routine whereas I change my mind a lot, sigh. Anyway I hate being criticised so still feel rather upset. At least I'm not drinking.

The thing is, now I feel even less like tidying the house tomorrow. I think I have PDA (pathological demand avoidance). I'm half-joking, half-serious...

Congrats all on making it through this autumn Monday.

Hi all, 35 days AF here. I had to stop posting a while back as it just felt like a cycle of failing and I felt embarrassed. I did a sober wedding and hen which I'm proud of.

Hoping everyone is well. Looking forward to see the wonderful Sid with his big smile! X

Hi everyone, just checked my Try Dry app for the first time in a while and apparently I'm 463 days sober (random non-significant number!) Never in my life did I think that would happen for me. I posted here at the beginning and I think at six months dry but for some reason never came back at the one year mark.

Just wanted to tell everyone who is at the beginning how amazing being sober is! I have just got through the kids exam results and sending my daughter off to uni without being tempted to touch a drink. Before I would have been a mess. Now I can sit with my emotions rather than drinking them away (or actually magnifying them with alcohol).

It astonishes me to say that I don't think about drinking 99% of the time, and on the fleeting occasions that I do I can squash it in seconds. Pub trips, concerts, Christmas, birthdays, all without a drink or wanting a drink. I thought it would be a forever battle with cravings, but it's not, and I wear my sobriety like a badge of honour. Koko!

Hi @malazzie and welcome. Congratulations on 15 days! You can start counting in weeks now, then months, and before you know it. . . .

We're a friendly crowd here, and support one another when things go wrong, which they do from time to time. We have an unwritten rule that we don't talk about any current drinking as it can be triggering for those who are struggling, but otherwise we take each post as it comes, and often the daily chat about not much is helpful. After a while you'll know that you are amongst friends and can be honest if you are finding things difficult.

You may have seen my previous nagging on the subject, but just in case, at that level of drinking you should consider taking Thiamine (vit B1) at high doses for 6 weeks or so after your last drink. It can help prevent alcohol-related brain damage.

We all have different strategies for getting through the first months. Some swear by quit lit, although I'm not a fan - much like talking about drinking I found it just reminded me of boozy nights and made things harder. I never attended meetings for the same reason, but they work brilliantly for others.

I preferred to live as 'normally' as possible, just without the wine. I swapped to AF wine in the evenings, always in a wine glass, and if I went out and it wasn't available I'd drink something like line and soda. I also liked hypnosis (listened to through sleep headphones when I was in bed). You will find your own way, and there's no harm in trying various strategies to see what works. There are apps that can help (someone else will be able to suggest them, as I didn't use them).

Great to see you too, @thepurplepenguin, and to have you back @Womanshour.

Thanks for the admiration of my cross stitch😀. It's the first one I've done in ages, although I've done lots in the past.

Morning all.
Great to hear from you @Womanshour and @thepurplepenguin !

Morning and welcome @malazzie!
It's so great to hear how you've experienced life events without the accompanying drink @thepurplepenguin. I honestly feel if I can get through an all inclusive holiday and Christmas I can do anything and I'm determined to do it. Hi @Womanshour- wow a sober hen! I'm not a huge fan of hen do's - well the usual type anyway.. I'm not sure I could have even gone. Seriously impressive!
@Becky37your plan sound good. Your weekend situation sounds like there's multiple triggers that just aren't working for you. You can do this.

Am on the way to London for work. I hate travelling. Got myself an almond croissant and have icing sugar all down me now. How do people manage to stay looking polished all day?

Thanks @Lavrander it was a white knuckle ride at both the hen and wedding. Someone said i was selfish for not drinking. Funny that anyone could have that view, but they've weren't someone I knew well enough for them to know the reasons behind.

But I made it through! Listened to a podcast yesterday that said when we have cravings thats something to notice as a space to 'do some work'. Im not sure i like the phrase do some work, but it made sense. I want to drink to fit in, not stand out and mainly to manage stress, anxiety and I suspect perimenopause symptoms.... all things to do something different about rather than drink!!

Thanks so much for the welcomes back x

Day 2. Love you all, just checking in. Must get on with tidying and cleaning the house after the neglect of everything over the weekend!. Will respond properly later.

IWNDWYT friends ❤️‍🩹💜

Morning all. Yesterday I put PJ's on at 5 o'clock and went to bed at 8pm in an attempt to avoid the last minute trip to the shops! So this morning my resolve is strong.
@Becky37 well done to you for day 2, I get the loneliness aspect as I live alone which is why my evenings are so dangerous. I'm inspired by those of you who have managed so many days alcohol free - @malazzie welcome! @LillyPJ love the bag story - I've been known to get back from the shop with a coat wrapped around a bottle to hide it from the neighbours - as if they'd care!
Wishing everyone a good day x

Hello all, hope you're holding up. I'm chronically short of sleep now and really craving a day off...

But just cheered myself up by checking into Try Dry which I've been forgetting to update because I think of it less and less, just taking my new lifestyle for granted now!

I've found that I'm 250 days dry in 2025 🙌I broke Dry January for some celebrations, so it's a bit less than the year is long - but also a bit more than my dry streak. I don't feel it's the real number. But still, it's great to see a round number!

Good luck all!

I’m really interested in the vitamin b1. Can I ask what sort of dose you get? And I can’t find your post about not just taking any old vitamin b - is there anything in particular I need to look for or avoid?

Thanks

Something like this is perfect. You can probably find it cheaper in a non-branded product.

It helps to stop alcohol-related brain damage, and you can't overdose on it as you excrete any excess in alarming (but harmless) luminous pee. A B complex tablet is unlikely to have enough Thiamine, but will be good for you too, as alcohol depletes B vitamins. There is no reason not to take a B complex tab and a Thiamine one at the same time.

I've been out walking all day (sunshine and showers) . It's nice to see so many positive messages. Well done to all. Isn't it ridiculous that someone can think it's selfish if you don't drink, @Womanshour ? How can drinking be seen as an altruistic, selfless act, seeing as not drinking doesn't affect anyone else?