Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Morning all, happy sober Friday. I have a challenging weekend ahead, annual weekend away with my best girl friends. They are all bringing champagne and wine. Its never v drunken but usually a nice steady flow of bubbles whilst we all catch up, wine and cocktails out with dinner and movies with wine in the afternoons. I am nearly 9 months in and have navigated alot of social situations but not a whole weekend like this. I know I am not going to drink but there will definitely be pangs. I am taking lots of Trips and AF beer. Plus will be drinking ALOT of tea.
Good luck to us all!

@HorrorFan81
do you like the Tripp? I find that they can leave a funny aftertaste in my mouth.

Morning all.

Sadly in bed waiting for the doc to call.

I was watching Anthony Hopkins last night and he talked about his 'drinking years'. I liked the phrase and thought it conveyed finality.
It was in the past.

I might try explaining to others it was in my drinking years.

I do like them, I dont get a funny taste i dont think? My absolute fave non alcoholic option is Mother Root but need to get a new bottle of that

I like that - "my drinking years"

I don't know if I have actually told this group that i am totally done with drinking or if they think I am just taking a break. They won't care either way- i was always the biggest drinker in the group and probably annoyed some of them in the past with it so hopefully, if anything, they will be relieved. I am hoping they dont start talking about how much I uses to drink tho - they might admit they were worried about it etc and I just find it all so awkward and embarrassing

Good morning shipmates.

So sorry your op was thwarted @WendyWagon - really hoping for better days ahead.

I watched the Anthony Hopkins interview as well, thought it was excellent. I love the film "Meet Joe Black", where he plays host to Death (Brad Pitt) - lots to say in that film about love and life. He was very honest about his life. He's estranged from his only child after he walked out when she was one because of his alcoholism. Very sad. We have so much to lose if we can't conquer this. Children, jobs, homes. All just a drink away. 😢

Ah, @Onewildandpreciouslife , @Whenindoubthugitout and @BountifulPantry - the siren song of the Wine Witch/Vodka Voldemort... I know it well. "You can handle it... You've earned it... You DESERVE it... just one..." Awful. I'm particularly struggling with it at the moment. A fresh angle for me is my current health concern, because painkillers aren't always touching it. The "just one bottle, to numb the pain and help you sleep..." new interloper is most unhelpful. I'm doing my best to answer the whispers with a plain, hard "puking in the Park and Ride toilets. THAT's why." but I'm back on the chocolate milkshake. Here's a weekend Sid-wink, to remind me that he is the reason I stay true.

Strength and courage my friends. We've got this. It will be alright. xx

I hope you get good news very soon @WendyWagon, and I share the view that the sensible way to look at things is that your four years of sobriety has massively increased your chances of a full recovery, whatever the diagnosis.

Greetings to all shipmates, and cuddles to the lovely Sid. I also read the 'do you know an alcoholic?' thread, and agree that it was sad and difficult to read. I do value this space as somewhere we can talk about our struggles and successes without talk about drinking. As I've said before, I found 'quit-lit' unhelpful, as all the talk about drinking made me think about it, when I really needed to discover other things I enjoyed and think about those instead. I avoid moderation threads and self-help groups for the same reasons, but threads like the 'reality of the end' one and 'do you know an alcoholic?' are different as people aren't saying that lapses don't matter, or making 'Day 1 every Monday' a bonding thing - they are pointing out that however hard it can be to stay sober, the alternatives (for us and for those who care about us) are unutterably grim.

I know that most, if not all of us have slips now and then, and am absolutely not judging anyone - I am in no position to do that even if I wanted to. I just like having somewhere that is more about sobriety than drinking, and you lovely people make that possible.

I also hope that you get your health sorted very soon, @REP22. It sounds horrible, and I completely understand wanting to blot it out, or anaesthetise it. Chin up - it will pass, even if it takes longer to do so than any of us would like. x

My friends, without exception, were mightily relieved when I stopped drinking. Every time, haha. They have been hugely supportive in my attempts to stop and never dialled up the recriminations when I relapsed. They will talk about it, if it’s led by me, but I try not to bang on about it as it’s boring and repetitive. I know however they had concerns about my mental and physical health, plus my risky behaviours, so are now as relieved as me that - for now - I am in remission. I suspect that what I imagined was my dazzling wit and repartee was actually just tedious ranting and bad jokes, punctuated by falling over and/or tears. We also found that without me as a catalyst, nobody else drank as much anyway. Being surrounded by relaxed people drinking moderately is quite tolerable even if not partaking.

I do talk about the changes in me in sobriety though - not about drinking, but about happiness, peace and serenity. Though see above about me being boring and repetitive!

@HorrorFan81 I hope you have a fabulous weekend. Sounds like you have A Plan, so you can hopefully relax and enjoy it.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - Sid sends you special snuggles. xx

@FaithHopeCarnage - I used to think that I was a sparkling combination of Noel Coward, Stephen Fry and Sarah Bernhardt, with a smattering of Jo Brand blended in when I was drunk and "entertaining". In fact, I was a tiresome little tit and, on occasion, frankly a liability. Sounds like you have some great friends. I bet you are genuinely sparkling now, for all the right reasons. x

@ShyMaryEllen @FaithHopeCarnage
@REP22

Nodding away reading all of your posts. Here's to a sober Friday for us all, strength and love to everyone on this wet and dark evening 💙

Am eating through my own body weight in chocolate.

and mainlining tea.

I better fucking feel amazing in the morning. Or I won’t be impressed with my decision making.

wine witch is being a wee bitch this evening

Evening everyone.
Sending lots of support to everyone. Whatever you are going through, the fact that you're here shows you are stronger than most.
Just caught up on Traitors and I've got homemade garlic bread and a massive pasta bake in the oven. Feeling a bit Friday but I shall not drink with you today x

Enjoy the chocolate @Whenindoubthugitout- I'm really in the mood for chocolate biscuits.

I’m going to hide from any cravings by having. Lovely bath then getting in bed and watching Sullivan crossing on Netflix, it’s a bit twee like Virgin River but it’s an easy watch :)

Morning all.
I hope you feel good this morning @Whenindoubthugitout - you should be proud of getting through a Friday night sober.

Sorry to hear you’re still feeling rough @REP22 - hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon

Hope you spoke to the doctor yesterday and have a plan @WendyWagon

I had bad news this week as the cancer had spread to the lymph node they removed - seeing my oncologist early next week to find out the plan. Have had occasional cravings for “oblivion juice”, but I know that (a) I need to be in the best physical shape possible if they want to give me treatment and (b) there isn’t enough wine in the world to make this go away.

I confess to you my sober sisters that I wish someone would give me a bloody medal for not drinking though 🤣 maybe I should have joined AA just for the medallions! We deserve them!

Here's a medal for you @Onewildandpreciouslife 🥇. You definitely deserve one! Well done and good luck - hope all goes well.

@Onewildandpreciouslife
i am sending you a virtual medalion too.

@Onewildandpreciouslife cancer really does suck, I’ve just had a look on Etsy and we can get medallions of our own!
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1160667863/personalised-sobriety-token-chip-gift?gpla=1&gao=1&utm_source=connexity&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_google&utm_content=EAIaIQobChMIjO3dsaLikAMV65tQBh1Vshc-EAQYASABEgJxsfD_BwE&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23106632540&gbraid=0AAAAAD_PDJn0HSHUqDl8pu49V909XMDdV

I’m quite tempted to get one with my start date on as I think I’d like something tangible, to put in my pocket and give a little rub when I’m in a situation where I’m likely to be offered booze or when I’m having a bad day and I just need a little reminder.

I’ve tried to scroll back to find the post but I can’t remember who else posted about Slimming world and loving the stickers, I think the coin will be like this. I’m going to get myself a start date one and then one to mark a year which was my original goal.

@Onewildandpreciouslife that is bloody hard news. I am so sorry you have this stuff to contend with.

Huge congratulations for keeping going in the life that you have been so supportive to all of us for maintaining. X

Maybe ignore my previous recommendation for Sullivans crossing. Thought it was lighthearted but the father is actually a recovering alcoholic and there’s lots of flashbacks……

Ahh am sorry @Onewildandpreciouslife. You do deserve to be collecting all the gold coins. I have to say I was looking on the TryDry app yesterday and was disappointed that I hadn't completed a mission recently in order to collect a virtual medal. I need someone to invite me to a wedding!
Sending lots of support today for you all.

@Becky3825I know Saturday is usually the toughest day for you. How is the scarf coming along?

Morning all.

I'm so sorry @Onewildandpreciouslife what a bummer. We're all here supporting you x

I'm at home and not on the surgeons slab this morning due to this heart issue. I've also got the hand surgeon Monday. Frequent NHS flyer me.

As @ShyMaryEllen says we're here to support whatever life throws at our shipmates. Often heavy drinkers drink because of complicated lives. Trauma, families, toxic workplaces and lots of loneliness (even when we have plenty of people around us).

I've learned to be less hard on myself this year. I've had the courage to change what I can and accept the rest.

And the oblivion juice can only be vintage champagne @Onewildandpreciouslife

I can't afford that when not working so I'm safe!! I get the f*ck it sentiment though.