Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Hi all. Back from holiday.

Still sober.

Life fucking hard though.

@EastCoastDamsel, well done on your sober holiday. I'm new here so don't know if it's your first sober holiday, or how long you've been af, but well done.
I've been sober 5 months. Had breaks away sober, and went on holiday in August and didn't drink ( but was on medication so couldn't).
Going away a week today. No medication ( I'd like some !), so willpower alone.
I'm pretty determined to have an af holiday but I do have the odd fleeting thought. I've holidayed in this place for 30 years, and never been there sober.
Appreciate any tips 🙏

Morning all.
Well done on staying sober @EastCoastDamsel . I’m sorry life is tough- we just need to keep going but it feels impossible some times.

Like anything new @Goandygo your first sober holiday will be challenging, but sober holidays are amazing! You will come back properly rested, and the mornings are an absolute gift.

Morning all.

Morning all!
Sober holidays - definitely a challenge - you'll feel like you're back in the first month of sobriety. Use the same tools in your arsenal as you used before ; have a plan, say no to the first and second one (IME its easier to focus on saying no to the first two and then the third comes naturally), treat yourself to AF cocktails and good food, feel it forward.
Try not to think of it as willpower because you're already telling yourself you need to deny yourself something. Think about what you're gaining.
Be prepared for the fleeting thoughts to be hourly. At least they were for me. But it was the best holiday I've ever had so that must be saying something for doing it sober.

Thanks, folks.
I have a plan and yes @Lavrander I'll be using my weapons. Great point about the willpower. I don't know why I used that word really as I'm definitely not struggling and I'm definitely looking at what I'm gaining, the positives of being af.

Morning lovelies.

Sorry to hear that some of us are struggling. Me too. @taylorean - I hope you can get some support for what's going on. I find that I was drinking to escape/numb issues. Sobriety is a powerful release - but the underlying issues are still there. Keep going. You're doing so well.

My M is from the Totnes area. Life rarely gets better than a trip to Fermoys, I find. 😉

Got my letter from the hospital. Proteus mirabilis is the main thing that's going on apparently. Didn't the late Queen have one of those in 1992...? 🤔 M still convinced that Sid is to blame (he's not). Never mind. All shall be well.

Strength and courage. xx

I’m on day 55 and recently did my first sober holiday ever as an adult. I did waver said no the first couple of times and wasn’t asked again. I ordered Diet Coke, a mocktail or 0% beer. For the first time I went to the gym so I’m pretty pleased about that, also woke up each morning feeling fresh.
Right about life being the same old slog though. I do feel in a better mindset to just cope and move on and deal with issues.

One thing I’ll say is that I’ve already built new habits, I’m honestly not even thinking an out it on a daily basis. The first bit is so hard but it genuinely does get easier x big hugs and support to those having a bad day, you can do this x

Probably not for everyone but I had a sniff of my husbands wine after I’d said no twice, once to him and once to the waiter. It didn’t smell appealing, didn’t actually hit any endorphins or desire feelings, I just felt a bit meh.

@FiloPasty, I was saying this to a friend before. I think if a glass of wine were put in front of me, I'd resist easily. I don't think I'd like the smell, and I should think after 5 months af, it would probably knock me out.

Yes about the smell not being appealing. I used some wine in a chicken chasseur a few days ago . We have a few bottles of 187ml to use just in cooking (small bottles so we’re not tempted to finish the rest). I’ve never really liked red wine and it definitely wasn’t tempting.

Off to bed.
day 12 done.
Love knowing that I will feel hangover Free in the am! Need to hold onto that.
3-4 weeks is my danger area

@Whenindoubthugitout, well done, you're now on day 13.
Being fresh in the morning is the best benefit of being af for me. Even if I don't have the best sleep, and I'm a little tired, I'm always grateful I'm not hungover tired.
One day at a time.

Day 4 checking in. I will not drink today!

Morning all.

Not well lads. No op for me at the end of the week. I've waited 11 months and I'm not in good enough health. New problem, new consultant next week.
Blinking dog is stuck to me like glue so I hope it's not sh*t news.

Nearly four years of the sober life and im now wondering what I've stupidly done to myself.

I’m so sorry to hear that @WendyWagon - frustrating and worrying in equal measures. But we can only live our life forwards - the last 4 years sober will have undoubtedly improved your health in many ways and left you fitter to face whatever new shit life throws at you,

Good to hear from you @Becky3825 !

Well done on your 12 days @Whenindoubthugitout - 3-4 weeks is tricky because you feel so much better, and the little voice comes in “you’ve done so well, you clearly don’t have a problem …”. Don’t listen to it! Would it be helpful to set yourself an initial goal that goes beyond that 3-4 weeks? Then you can tell your brain “well maybe, but I’m going to get to 100 days, and then we can talk”

@WendyWagon that sucks. Really sucks.
i suppose the real question for you rather than “ what have i done to myself” is “how much worse would this look if I had continued drinking?”. Sending you strength.

@Onewildandpreciouslife - that’s exactly what the little voice says. I have one friend who i have confided in, she’s been here before, and I know that I can speak to her about it. But I also know if I choose to jump off this wagon, that I will only hate myself a little (more).

so not wanting to have to tell her, or lie to her, and my own determination I hope will pull me through the next few weeks.

@WendyWagon im sending love to you xxx

@Onewildandpreciouslife I’m at the same point although 40 days sober. I’ve had thoughts like “oh well you’ve done 40 days so maybe you can just have one on special occasions?

I have to remind myself that no I can’t have just one. That’s why we’re here at 40 days sober. If I could just have one I’d just have one and forget it! Abstinence is the only way for me I think.

I’m exactly the same @BountifulPantry keep wishing I’d set my goal on Try Dry as until Christmas or 100 days rather than set myself a year straight off the bat.
I don’t know if anyone read the thread about “Do you know an alcoholic?” It was very very sober reading all my worries and fears you’d think it would strengthen my resolve which it kind of did but I also just thought I’d love a drink, it’s so strong that pull. I know for me it’s nothing or everything so as long as I’m able I’m here and I’m sober!

@WendyWagon that sounds awful, your sobriety is important and you should be proud of that, I hope things get better.

@Onewildandpreciouslife why have they hidden your post?

I shared a link so I guess they want to check it

Oh goodness i read that thread too…

incredibly sad.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so poorly @WendyWagon. I hope things start to pick up for you x

Morning all
happy friday
planning our how to keep myself busy this weekend,

went out for dinner last night, had a slight wobble, But was ok.
came home and made a pot of tea. The amount of tea I am drinking is ridiculous 😂😂😂

God yeah I am MAINLINING tea @Whenindoubthugitout
I am also dieting and fasting a lot though so it also kills the hunger pangs. I am determined NOT to drink this weekend. I just need to chill and get through the next 48 hours. No poison for Becky this weekend 💪