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Alcohol support

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Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

1000 replies

Lavrander · 11/09/2025 14:32

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

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ShyMaryEllen · 08/11/2025 19:42

Oh, @Onewildandpreciouslife, I'm so sorry to hear your news. If there are such things as positive vibes, you have so many coming towards you from all the shipmates that your oncologists won't believe their eyes! I hope you get a plan very soon, and that it is neither onerous nor lengthy.

As with @WendyWagon, the fact that you have been sober for so long will give you the best chance of successfully fighting this, and of feeling as well as possible whilst the treatment does its thing.

Becky3825 · 08/11/2025 19:49

@Lavrander I'm here and sober and in bed. Thank you so much for checking in.

I feel so bad for what so many of us are facing and living with. Reading it all just now I thought I cant possibly post my stupid update that I have 'conquered' a single Saturday night and not gone to the pub.

But seeing you asking after me encouraged me to @Lavrander. And when I dont post much I can be having destructive thoughts or just feeling hopeless.

@Onewildandpreciouslife you are coping with so much already snd this news, just terrifying and so hard to process. I honestly would have cracked i know i would. You are a legend and of course deserve a medal. A giant big gold shiny one with a curb chain like Run DMC used to wear 💜

WendyWagon · 08/11/2025 20:18

Lads I'm watching now 70s, fabulous.

Well done @Becky3825 atta girl! X

FaithHopeCarnage · 08/11/2025 20:40

So sorry to hear your news @Onewildandpreciouslife, I admire how you’re coping. Go get that medal!

You too @Becky3825, good stuff!

Keep on keeping on, lads

Becky3825 · 08/11/2025 21:22

@WendyWagon @FaithHopeCarnage

Thank you guys 🥲 really means so much to me this thread

taylorean · 08/11/2025 22:03

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife for all the support you show us xxx

elusivehope · 09/11/2025 00:03

Good evening ladies, I'm back and feeling sheepish as I've had a week of struggling a lot with everything and dropping the ball on most things. I had a bad cold and was trying to carry on working nonetheless, plus carry on sorting out family stuff in the US. I just felt mentally and physically awful all week. I'm now back on day 2 again and feel more human after having slept for about 12 hours straight last night.

Honestly though my complaints pale in comparison to what some of you brave women are going through. @Onewildandpreciouslife I'm so sorry to hear your medical news. You are a star for staying sober. And @WendyWagon I'm so sorry about the postponed op. I'm also thinking of you @REP22 with your stubborn infection, and you @taylorean feeling that something's not quite right on the mental well-being front.💐💐💐to all of you.

About sobriety medallions, there's an American academic I follow on X/Bluesky who is very open about posting about being an alcoholic in recovery, and although she doesn't go to AA meetings any longer, she buys herself sobriety medallions from the internet and even has a special display case for them! Some of them are really gorgeous. If you go to Amazon and search for 'sobriety coin' you can see a wide selection. In fact I'm half tempted to buy myself one if I manage to hit 30 days!

@Becky3825 congrats on making it to bed sober tonight! And best of luck with your interview next week; that's exciting.

@FaithHopeCarnage your Iceland story is frankly amazing 😂

Many thanks to you @Lavrander for keeping the ship sailing so smoothly.

Despite feeling better tonight I don't know how I'm going to get through next week. I have approx 20 hours of teaching, because I was poorly this week and postponed some hours (and also because some students were poorly as well, and they postponed some hours). A full-time stint is meant to be 12 hours a week, which doesn't sound like much compared to what secondary school teachers do, but with prep and marking, it does take more time than one might imagine.

A lot of it is one-on-one and small group teaching, which is why it's possible to reschedule, but once I'm behind I find it really hard to catch up. Never mind, I'm just going to do what I can do. I am resolved not to drink, even if it means postponing more teaching yet again. I'll catch up eventually.

Incidentally, the saga with the student I was so worried about, who was supposedly holed up alone in her room for weeks, has moved on. It turns out she was lying about being in residence and has actually been home with her family in a distant city the whole time!!! I'm partly relieved and partly miffed, ha. Obviously she still needs support... My colleagues are so lovely and gentle, they were super kind to her. No blame, just conversation about how to move things forward from here. It was kind of a lesson for me in compassion. I was upset that this person had repeatedly lied to me, but how many times have I been dishonest about my drinking...

Off to bed now, because apparently my capacity to sleep remains boundless.

Womanshour · 09/11/2025 06:34

@elusivehope good luck with the week ahead. I know you know this, but your post also suggests you want to drink to cope with a really hard week. Ive been there so many times... But not drinking has meant my coping is so much better.

I feel annoyed that I let myself be conned by narratives that drinking would help me in difficult times/weeks. It just made them more difficult, made me more tired, embarrassed/ashamed, worry I was underperforming due to booze... it goes on. It is so much simpler not drinking. Good luck with it x

Itsthatway · 09/11/2025 06:36

First sober Friday and Saturday in the bag.
sorry to hear the health news but oh so right drinking would improve things for precisely one nanosecond and makes things a whole lot worse for ages including the mental side of it all.

Womanshour · 09/11/2025 07:00

@Itsthatway congratulations on getting that friday and saturday done!

I've reached 90 days today. Proud to get here, in the long run I'm very early days, but its only the second time ive reached this stage. The last time I managed a couple of years. Each slip has really helped keep on the straight and narrow this time as I know that a drink could be months or years off track, and I just can't afford that for so many reasons.

Weight loss has stalled, but I would be gaining each week if drinking x

Onewildandpreciouslife · 09/11/2025 07:25

I was so happy to read your update last night @Becky3825 - that’s a huge win! 👏👏👏

And your description of my medal made me laugh. Do you think I should start wearing my marathon medals to hospital appointments, just so they know who they’re dealing with? 😂

Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time @elusivehope - please keep telling yourself that alcohol is not self-care and is not going to help you cope. I used to use alcohol as a way of getting through some jobs that were long and tedious and only needed a small amount of focus - I found that playing music in the background worked just as well (and without the side order of depression and regret). Maybe it’s worth trying a few things to see what works for you?

Well done on Friday and Saturday @Itsthatway - you’ve done the hardest part now.

Congratulations on 90 days @Womanshour - amazing work!

Lavrander · 09/11/2025 08:01

Morning everyone.

We're having some rough seas aren't we but am spotting a little blue sky above with some of yesterday's updates. Huzzah!

Welcome back aboard @elusivehope. You're dealing with so much. Break it down - one bite at a time. Not the whole elephant.

I'm so glad there are so many of us working the decks now - I do notice the names and if someone hasn't posted in a couple of days and wonder if it would be intrusive to tag but this thread is to grab hold of those floating out to sea. Probably should do some more roll calls!

My guilty pleasure at the moment is the 8pm music shows on Saturday night BBC. The girl band ones have been good and Glen Campbell a couple of weeks ago. I love the outfits.

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Goandygo · 09/11/2025 08:16

@Womanshour well done on 90 days, that's brilliant.
I've never got this far before either. I hear you regarding past slips keeping us on the straight n narrow. This time I'm ready for any eventuality. I know if I drink ( and I actually don't really want to - how weird would that be?!), I'll be so disappointed, it won't have been worth it. Been there so many times.
My weight loss has stalled too. I've lost 12lb in 5 months af so still great. The way I feel mentally and physically is brilliant.

WendyWagon · 09/11/2025 09:20

Morning all.

Congrats on the Saturday night successes.

I'm buying jumpers like a addict at the moment. We have had a moth problem for years and everything gets eaten. I'm trying to work my way around the wardrobes putting our clothes in proper protective bags with moth balls.

I suspect I'll be told to lose more weight if I've got a dodgy ticker. I'm normally a comely wench but post my earlier surgery I look grey and stringy. I've got skinny arms and legs so I don't know where the fat is hiding! 😄

Kipperandarthur · 09/11/2025 11:52

It's my 62nd birthday today. And I'm going out for lunch and will be alcohol free for a birthday lunch for the first time in about 42 years.

Day 119 for me here.

WendyWagon · 09/11/2025 12:25

@Kipperandarthur happy birthday 🎂

Enjoy your lunch. Have something extravagant as you're not drinking.

Lavrander · 09/11/2025 12:41

Happy Birthday @Kipperandarthur. You can treat yourself to a full three courses without the wine bill 👌🏻

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Onewildandpreciouslife · 09/11/2025 12:45

Happy birthday @Kipperandarthur and congratulations on 119 days. More room for pudding if you don’t drink! 🎂

Swimfreak · 09/11/2025 13:42

Hi all, I've been absent but continued to read of the struggles and success. Struggles for me since I last posted - so many day ones, I'm so angry with myself at being weak-willed when I know I want and need to stay sober. Determined to get through a longer stretch and check in more regularly.

postcard · 09/11/2025 13:52

@Onewildandpreciouslife so sorry to read your health news. I wish you strength and clarity. You are doing as much as you can by staying AF 🫂

postcard · 09/11/2025 13:55

@Kipperandarthur happy birthday and 119 days is a good tally. To many more!

postcard · 09/11/2025 13:57

@elusivehope I do some teaching every now and again and I know the huge amount of prep that’s needed, you have my sympathy, especially when you’re not feeling 100%.

taylorean · 09/11/2025 16:03

Thank you @elusivehope!

Still very tired but had a good moment this afternoon - DH made a Sunday roast including red wine reduced down for gravy. And he poured himself a glass...

For a split second I thought maybe I'd take Christmas Day off 😂then pulled myself together and realised that I hate the groggy feeling. And I didn't even over-do it when drinking on the last few Christmas Days - but I was finding it too much nevertheless, feeling ill and depressed.

I bought a lovely dessert for our lunch and DH pulled a face, but I pointed out that it cost about the same as a very good bottle of wine, and was a deserved treat. So there really are compensations!

Love to all ❤

Swimfreak · 09/11/2025 17:26

@Onewildandpreciouslife I've just read back through the thread more thoroughly, and I'm so sorry to hear of your health news. Apologies for moaning about my own shortcomings which now seem trivial. Thinking of you and everyone else who is facing hard times

Becky3825 · 09/11/2025 17:41

@Kipperandarthur

Happy Birthday ! You are doing amazing 😊

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