Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Night all, sober and in bed tucked up with a podcast and my 7 year old. I think I will do a SMART meeting tomorrow online during the day, will report back and check in 🙏

Morning all.
Great to see you made it through the weekend @Becky3825

@EastCoastDamsel remember the serenity prayer. It gets me through hard times.
When I had the legal matter to deal with I relied on it heavily.

I've had my cereal and I have a friend coming for lunch. She can give unwanted opinions. I need to have my wits about me, she has form.

Good luck @WendyWagon, that sounds extremely trying. Not sure how well I would deal with that currently. Probably not the best!. Will be saying the Serenity Prayer today, thank you for your message and support 🙂

Good morning, thank you for your good wishes lovely shipmates. I'm still mending and grateful for it. Sid is extremely well and enjoying the autumn evenings and mornings - as well as the lovely colours, the scents in the air always seem heightened at this time of year.

Feel myself wobbling a bit, so have re-engaged more actively with the IAmSober app and will add Paloma Faith's 'Stone Cold Sober' to my car playlist... I will stay strong with you all.

So sorry to hear of your DH's issues @EastCoastDamsel - hopefully it will help make things better in the long run. At least work are supporting him to have this leave. I hope it gives him the time and space to mend. And he also has the most powerful thing in his corner - you. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water". Stay strong. We are with you.

Strength and courage to you all. We can pull ourselves free from this. We are strong. It will be alright. xx

@REP22
Really good to hear from you, and your words truly resonated and inspired me today. They always do 💪

Tucked up in bed just doing some admin. Did the SMART today online 10-11:30. It was a really good meeting, and I actually forced myself to check in and speak a bit, which I nearly never do. I will go online again on Wednesday. Tomorrow I am determined to jog and then have a meeting locally with my alcohol support worker (honestly, can't believe I am typing that). But he, you, everything right now, is keeping me sober, and there is no shame in that, is there? Love to all and hope everyone is okay. Mondays are tricky and a bit depressing for me.

I will not drink with you today friends 🙂

Well done Becky!

Evening all.
Lovely to read the latest posts and see despite all the hardship everyone is keeping going.
We can do this.

Evening all.

Not going to lie. Things are very difficult here. Not drinking but very emotional. Work is very difficult.

We're going on holiday for 2 weeks on Friday and I will definitely need it by then but I am feeling quite vulnerable at work. Stressing massively regarding my position and knowing I just have to in and remain super professional.

@REP22 it's more complicated than actually needing the stress leave but I can't go into details. He's (we're) very much in Limbo.

Morning all.

@EastCoastDamsel im so sorry things are so difficult. You're such an upbeat person and helpful to us all. Life can be so difficult but we can do difficult things. DM if you need any non booze help.

I'm lounging trying to drink tea with a clingy dog.

No new houses for the DS to buy. Tis difficult to keep him positive. He promised the GF no more renting for her by January. Hum.

@EastCoastDamsel this sounds horrendous quite frankly. You are doing so well at coping and navigating it all. But jesus sounds so hard. I really feel for you, and do realise how luck I am to currently be off any work and be able to focus on this recovery thing we are all doing.

Staying sober today with you all 😊💪

I'm so sorry things aren't going well @EastCoastDamsel. I hope a holiday gives you a bit of respite.

Yay @Becky3825 onwards and upwards one day at a time

@EastCoastDamsel I'm sorry this sounds so tricky to navigate, I hope things improve for you both. Do you want to stay in your post? Are there other options available to you? Sometimes awful times do make way for a different route that can turn out better in the end. Not that it makes being in the thick of it any easier.

@WendyWagon I think lots of people holding fire until after the budget and often people like to wait until after Xmas to sell as they don’t want viewings in the festive period. I think he should extend until the spring and the right house will come up x

Im in a good place I think not really feeling like drinking, I'm enjoying going to bed earlier, and waking more rested. Sorry for the TMI but with not drinking and eating a healthier diet I’m just really constipated which is annoying but the booze used to flush me out, not retaining any goodness I’m sure. Hopefully my body gets with the new program.

Good morning shipmates.

Thank you for your kind words @Becky3825 that means a great deal to me. ❤️ You are so encouraging to us all. I'm glad to hear about SMART yesterday, and about your plans. You really are doing very, very well and the tiny bud that was hiding in the soil is starting to push its way up and blossom. 🌷 And you are right. No shame at all, far from it. I was once, not so long ago, where you are now. Alcohol support worker, 1:1 sessions with him, plus SMART recovery in person (before Covid) and online follow-up courses. And now you are being brave enough to meet in person, plan jogging sessions, renewed determination. I can hear the sound of corners being turned. Keep going - even if you stumble - you're here and you're doing it, and doing it well. You're brilliant. 🙂

Sorry about the DS's house-hunting desert @WendyWagon - but the pledge to the GF sounds like a positive spur. Still a long time to go until January. 🤞 Hope you're feeling OK. Nothing wrong with a clingy dog; there's one with his head on my foot right now! 😉 x

I really am so sorry @EastCoastDamsel - my heart goes out to you. You're being so strong and brave, though I bet you feel very, very far from that at the moment. It's good that you've got a holiday to look forward to. I know what you mean by work - I have to pull on my "PowerREP22" hat and gloves for my job, where I somehow seem to count as a valued high-achiever. My colleagues would be utterly horrified and disgusted if they knew the actual me and what my life, my history and the squalid hovel in which I live actually was. Frankly, I'm appalled by it myself. But I can't hide from me. No-one at your work needs to know what's behind your personal mask. It's not their business - they're concealing their own difficulties too, no-matter how swan-like they seemly glide from corporate success to success... Keep going. It won't always be this sh~t, I promise. 💐💐

I've got a birthday coming up and am being nagged for gift suggestions. I'm going to ask for that Vax carpet cleaner device that @FiloPasty mentioned upthread. Time to start proactively making my space a little bit better and stop wallowing in my own foetid misery. Upwards and forwards.

Here's Sid - with love, respect and a furry snuggle for anyone who needs one.

Strength and courage. All shall be well. xx

@FiloPasty me too! I keep trying to up my water (and prunes) but not always achieving it!

@EastCoastDamsel I had a horrid work experience last year. I wont go into details but I cried each day for about 6 weeks. I finally got it together to leave my job, starting a new one this year. I am so much happier. I hope that, at least, this awful stress is also the start of better things.

@REP22 currently weeping happy tears reading your post, so will respond properly later 😻

@Becky3825 - bless you. Sorry if I made your eyes leak. Please don't feel you have to send any big or flowing response. You're grand, just the way you are. x

Morning all and Sid.

I'm a bit poorly today.
It's a rotten life at the moment but I know there are others worse off than me.

Good morning all. Strength and better health to those who need it.

Day 9 here and the cold is passing. Off to my regular Pilates class in a bit, but won't do much else today.

@WendyWagonI have a BIG birthday coming up and am frankly looking a bit dingy. Contemplating a facial for the first time in my life. What should I look for?

Good morning shipmates from me and Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid,

Request to birthday enquirers for @FiloPasty's Vax recommendation have gone in and been deemed acceptable. Already that makes me feel better. Populated and put out the recycling bin today. That counts as a win for me at the moment. God bless the sweet, sweet clang of the early-morning bin lorry.

How did your lunch with your acid-pop friend go @WendyWagon ? I hope you weren't too tormented. ❤️

Glad your cold is on the mend @NorthernDancer - there's a lot of it about at the moment. I had a BIG birthday last year and a subsequent BIGlittle one following it up soon this year. I bet you don't look half as dingy as you think you do. But for facial/beauty advice, @WendyWagon is definitely your go-to girl - she's a very elegant lady and definitely knows her cosmetic and skincare onions.*

Strength and courage. It's going to be alright. x

*no actual onions involved.

I like either a Caci or a Clarins gold. However you could have a light peel.

I've been using a peeling product from Elemis and it's excellent.
A proper facial will do your eyebrows and any stray hairs. I can always tell a monthly facial skin. The glow.

Checking in after a busy day today. Just had a delicious snooze to power up for the school pick up and kids this evening. Jogged the last two days and they have been pretty brutal. Jesus this virus hangs around, especially the nose area. Blah.

Going to do a online SMART this evening as starting to think about the weekend and booze being tempting. Got a solid plan but we all know what can happen to those...

Digging deep and finding the strength just for today. I want to make it another weekend, I really do though.

IWNDWYT 😊

Oh balls there is no Online SMART this evening, unless you are a veteran/military person. Will knit my way through this evening and eat chocolate instead. I can do this!

@Becky3825 you can totally do this! What is the chocolate of choice? I’m quite partial to a malteaser or the galaxy minstrels that don’t have the crispy coating, I’ve forgotten what they are called. Yum or Reece’s pieces or the mini Tony’s chocoloneys :)

@NorthernDancer im booked in for a facial next week, totally do it, I usually try anything that says anti ageing. I live in hope.

@WendyWagon I hope you feel a bit better soon and have a facial coming up too, we all deserve the big and little treats especially with the savings from not drinking.

@REP22 I hope it’s good now, I’m tempted to get one too. I’m strangely obsessed with the bins and recycling. Ours go on a Sunday night so it’s another note that I’ve survived another week and a kind of clean slate/renewal of the week. It’s very cathartic, I also like taking stuff to the tip too. I’m making myself sound like a very fun person here!

@WendyWagon Thank you so much. That gives me a starting point