Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

@EastCoastDamsel I’m so sorry.

I’ve been watching Elsey Davis on instagram- she’s a pro trail runner who ran all the way round Cornwall in 6 days to raise money for Alzheimer’s- her mum has early onset. There was a clip of her on about day 4, starting another days run in the dark- she straps on her head torch and says “left foot, right foot, let’s go”

Left foot, right foot - sometimes that’s all we can do, and it’s enough

Ahoy shipmates.
I'm awake too early but I have the big cheese estate agents coming. The old established ones have been rubbish.
The DH has done a fair bit and my cleaner is coming at 9 but I hate the scrutiny. I'm a last minute Lil.
I wrote one of my dissertations the day it was due!
The DD and BFF are joining me tomorrow om the second viewing of the farmhouse. I need to offer if I want the mobility aids left which I do otherwise they're coming out.

Not felt much like drinking AF or otherwise. Mother Root is waiting but it's 50cl which I didn't notice. I think a couple of the other faux spirits do that. Cheeky in my opinion at £30!

Good luck all.

@WendyWagon wishing you good inspiration to make the right choice for the house 🏡

@EastCoastDamsel tough times for your family but you can get through this supporting one another and with counselling for your DP, which is already in place. You will carry more of the burden but you don’t need fake props to do so.

@Womanshour rooting for you to reach the 18 November and beyond 🤞

Hi @Becky37 is it today you’re meeting your support worker? Hope it’s gone ok if so

0% beer night for me, had a steak tonight and red wine was trying to call me. Do the cravings stop long term? Urgh I was doing so well.
Well I should rephrase that as I am doing well as I haven’t drank..
Hope everyone feeling ok x

@FiloPasty you are doing well 👏

130 days. Has anyone else noticed better, er, bowel movements? I used to be able (needed) to know every toilet available in the local area. Now. No problems. I blamed it on IBS - the blame was in the bottle! Also I never used to be able to “get going” until 10 in the morning. Now I’m sleeping 6 or 7 hours a night, often waking up at 6:00 or 7 with no alarm and am fully rested and functioning. Still got some neuropathy symptoms in feet but hope it will improve. Keep going. It’s worth it.

@Slackfoxy My digestive system has definitely improved. I was diagnosed with IBS several years ago and had all sorts of problems but over the last few months, I've been better than I can remember for years.

Lol @Slackfoxy - I mentioned something similar a few months back. Who woulda thought, eh?

Brilliant @Slackfoxy 130 days! Sleep is a huge one for me, I’m also feeling more tired of an evening so just hoping to get into a better rhythm with it all.
I'm trying to lose weight so been eating loads of extra veg so I think its the opposite currently here.

Morning all.
Oh the joy of a Friday.
I've never commuted on a Friday due to being on a holiday route train wise. I gave up about twenty years ago.

I had a right old bashing from the estate agent. My house is dated apparently and needs four new bathrooms and a shiny white handless kitchen!
As I am 60 in a few weeks it's hardly going to look like an 'omaze house'. I've some brown furniture (shock horror).

Do I care? I did last night but I don't think someone with highlights and pointy shoes is a good match for me. I timed it for the DS not to be home but I think it might have been fun as he's such a snob.
No amount of flowers, throws or pictures make any difference. We bought from this agent three years ago and by his reckoning it's not gone up much.

I was tempted lads to go on a bender. The DH stopped me. Bless him.
I shall contact the two lady estate agents.
All men so far. Who buys the houses? Happy wife and all that.

@Lavrander @LillyPJ @postcard thank you all so much for your thoughts and comments. I have really thought about them. Ive had so many times over the last 18 months where I have managed periods off, but not this long (60 days today!) But so often the triggers are stress, boredom and not wanting others to know so drinking to fit in.

I need to think about those carefully.

My gratitude list for today:

• I have lost 7lbs since September. Ive been trying but I have still had treats.
• We have had so much expense recently. We’ve managed by being very careful. I have noticed that my previous budgeting never worked out, now it does. It is because I don't have the 'unexpected' wine bill.
• I love my Saturday morning routine, long walk and work out. I look forward to it. What a difference from 'friday wine' (more than 1 bottle... prob 1.75...) hangover on saturday.

I have re-started quit like a women. I need to work through what alcohol is not.

@EastCoastDamsel I am sorry that sounds really stressful. I hope you are ok.

Hope everyone has their friday plan x

Hello all, It is me 'Becky37'. I dropped my sodding phone down the toilet (completely sober I must add) so am phoneless currently. Had to log on to my computer account which is associated with a different email. The email for my mobile account I no longer have access to as its my university one.

Anyway I'll be on this username from now on.

Planning AA at half 12 and feeling mildly less fluish. Had a good talk with my alcohol support worker yesterday. He has encouraged me to take up knitting again, especially at the weekends. Something to do at home that I enjoy, a project to focus on, but nothing that involves writing or journaling, as I associate that with work after this degree!.

Also being seen in the next few weeks by the nurse prescriber, so I can get some Naltrexone to help too.

One day at at time people :-)

Also booked my graduation which is on the 21st so that is something to look forward to and very much aim to stay sober for too as both my parents will be there, plus my brother and his wife are travelling up. They are all so very proud of what I have achieved through everything the last thing I want to do is to get sloshed there and make a twat of myself. But baby steps and concentrating on today. Then tomorrow... and beyond. IWNDWYT

Thanks great @Becky3825 all we can do, just one step at a time. You must be really proud of yourself too, it’s an incredible achievement and you deserve a brilliant, sober graduation.

I definitely need an earlier bedtime now I’m not drinking, really felt it this morning after staying up to watch The Traitors. Lots of changes afoot. I’m contemplating starting couch to 5k again….

@WendyWagon house moves are so stressful, I said never again after the last one. My only advice is to declutter and then declutter again. I’m still going through stuff here that should have been donated or binned last move. I don’t know why I hold on to stuff.

@Womanshour 7lb is great, not the best mindset but I always think good to lose a little before Xmas so I can indulge and my clothes still fit!

Has anyone tried a decent 0% red?

@FiloPasty

Thank you for you kind words. I have completely given into the fact that I am 'back in recovery' again. Yes I have had some really positive months and stretches of sobriety the past year. But I have also had some epic, like EPIC, failures to stay sober and make the right choices. There are so many reasons but the main one I think is just wanting to escape my own head. Escape 'me'. But I will always be trapped if I keep doing this. I know I will probably fail many more times, but I need to fully engage in everything again like I did a year ago, and also many years ago... to get 'well' again. To make progress. I want to feel happy again. I know that I have not been happy for a very long time. Sober or drunk. I have not been happy for years now.

@FiloPasty

Also fellow Traitor obsessive here! Alan Carr gives me life!

@Becky3825 I can’t believe he took out Paloma, she’s his friend!
I feel for you about not being happy, there is so much pressure to have a perfect life, I do think that moments of positivity can really up our moods. I’m inspired by @Womanshour gratitude list, we should all task ourselves with this. Little things like a cup of tea with a biscuit, or a fleetingly nice moment with one of my teens, and I’m getting a huge amount of joy ticking off my try dry app.
Happiness is a state of mind and by not drinking it comes closer I think, do you have any good friends, or old friends you can reconnect with? I moved far away from my home town but still keep in contact with some school friends, we send each other silly videos we see on social media and it always make me smile :)
Right I’d best get on with cleaning my house - it’s a (cluttered) mess!

Knitting is a great idea, @Becky3825 Anything to keep hands and mind occupied is a big help. I used to knit a lot but it pains my arthritic thumb now so I do jigsaws or baking instead. Sounds like you're making good progress so well done!

@Becky3825 i was terribly unhappy too for many years.
I couldn't shake off the not good enough bullied child. Booze was my armour. People didn't attack me if I was drinking because my tongue was sharper!
Therapy sorted me out and when I retire I shall be as happy as Larry (or a cow in clover) as I hope to be living in my Farmhouse. Chickens and a proper potting shed.
Booze is such a sticking plaster for so many of us.

Knitting sounds a great idea @Becky3825 - do you have still have all the kit you need? Might be worth digging it out now so that you’re ready for the weekend. I could never get the tension right and always used to get lost, but am quite tempted to try to learn crochet

I'm a knitter too, and agree about keeping the hands busy and doing something that needs a bit of concentration.

I also think that finding things to do that don't involve drinking is really useful. Knitting, art, writing, embroidery, walking, drama - whatever floats your boat. If you can do them out of the house, so much the better, as that means making the effort to turn up somewhere, and you will meet others with the same interest, so you can move away from drinking and drinking buddies.

I'm a Traitors fan too - I just wish they hadn't put it on at the same time as Big Brother.

Hi Everyone. Messaging now to remind myself that I want to wake up refreshed tomorrow and as content as possible.

I've got very into Traitors but annoyed I have to wait almost another week. When I was younger I quite enjoyed cross stitch but am worried I'd spend half the time trying to keep the thread away from doggo.
130 days - fantastic @Slackfoxy. Who woulda thought eh that alcohol messed with your gut! Speaking of down there though.. I've actually noticed a bit of a better pelvic floor. I don't know whether it's coincidence but sneezing is less..err problematic than it was..

Hope everyone is getting on okay. Checking in also on @REP22and Sid. May have missed you or you're off on great adventures of course.