Support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Autumn 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!

This thread is for anyone who is genuinely trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just kindness and encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation, there’s an a long-running thread for that in this board that will be a better fit for you. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on, cheering you on as you do.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

@REP22 Thanks for an entertaining read as always! Love Jane Austen - such witty writing. I often re-read a sentence or two just to savour it. Thanks also for the Money Saving Expert house thread link - not that I need more stuff to waste time on online but that sounds right up my street. The friend I met yesterday has got himself in a right pickle (partly through drinking) which has resulted in him moving house. Annoyingly, his new place is still far nicer than mine. I enjoyed seeing the photos but have to admit to a touch of envy. Colin 'Frith' 😂 - that made me laugh!

Ah, thank you lovely @LillyPJ - I'm glad I made you smile. 🙂 I hope your friend is able to de-pickle himself in time. He's lucky to have you in his corner. Here's a link to the MSE Forum thread for you New "Have a Look at This" thread - Page 1308 — MoneySavingExpert Forum - hours of fun guaranteed.

I was once forced into staying with an aunt (grim). In her house she had many, many bookcases filled with nothing but Mills and Boon books. I read a few in desperate boredom. All awful and all exactly the same. Spirited plucky heroine meets devastatingly handsome bloke who offends/insults her. Over several encounters she realises she fancies him and he likes her but annoys/appals her even more. Sometimes there is incidental side dalliance with a wrong 'un. Heroine and aloof hero have a below-duvet encounter of wild passion. After which hero offends/insults heroine in unspeakable manner. Heroine finds herself in diabolical predicament from which hero rescues her. She realises she was mistaken about him all along and he's perfect. Couple end up married and she's pregnant. All of them. To a one. And with titles like "Dark Captor" and "Desert Storm". Basically the plot of Pride and Prejudice (without the shagging and pregnancy). But all unremittingly sh~te. Again: why?!? Jane was never bettered; the original and best.

@REP22 Oh no - now I might have to read a M&B just to check if your summary is correct!

@REP22 should bow my head in shame as whilst I haven’t read Mills & Boon I have read loads of tik tok smut books (I’m not even on Tik Tok but have heard they are on there) like Ali Hazelwood novels etc and I’ve also read all the Bridgerton novels.

I guarantee you will regret it, hehe. But most charity shops have an inexhaustible supply of them. They might even pay you to take them away. 😉

No shame in that @FiloPasty - if it brings you joy it's worth it. At the end of the day it's not doing anyone any harm. And at least they've achieved publication, which is more than I have, hehe. x

Ha! I am about to be passenger in a long car journey, so will amuse myself reading the MSE thread, thanks, @REP22.

Very happy to be of service @ShyMaryEllen - have a safe journey and I hope you have a lovely time at the end of it. x

Hi all, getting into my pjs, the crazings are on point tonight. Think Ive convincingly told them to sod off. Feel a bit tearful and just want to quiet my mind. Anyway pjs it is!

@WendyWagon we are also moving. Waiting for exchange any day... with everything crossed, have a terrifying amount to do!

@ShyMaryEllen I love home scents! I have looked up the alternative you mentioned. Any recommendations please share! Its a part of my developing relaxation routine.

We have got this, the peaceful saturday morning will be worth it x

Evening all. I hope I don't end up on the 'crimes of house selling'. The plot thickened today. DS spotted the hapless agent had missed a bathroom!

The trees are planted.
Bought from Bamboo Kings. Amazing quality.
I went out and got a new door mat. Home Sweet HOME, (this is the town of crushed velvet, purple bedrooms and red kitchen tiles) so forgive me my tasteful friends. Jane Austin? I'd need fifty shades on my library wall. I've never read it. I gave it to the BFF for her 86 year old mother😁

Anyone else on day 26??? My skin is still breaking out. But the redness and puffiness has gone! I’ve also actually put on a pound but I’m eating a lot! I’m not fat so it’s okay. I’m finally also starting to feel a little happier too. I’d be really interested in hearing how others have felt around this time? For context I was drinking 5 nights a week sometimes a bottle and half! I was also smoking and I haven’t smoked since I stopped drinking.

@malazzie wow well done!! That's amazing! Sounds like your body is recalibrating a bit. Only on day 6 so can't actually help there, but hopefully I'll keep going!

@Springadorable6 days is amazing. I could never get past 4 for ages! Keep going it really does get better xx

@Womanshour I'm already in bed! I'm finding ways to fight the cravings - although I've had a few slip ups. Changed the time i walk the dog so its done before the peak craving time and started some embroidery to keep my hands busy. I have also booked my age related well woman check up, so I need to stay sober before having blood tests and answering lifestyle questions! Congratulations@malazzie and everyone else who have made it so far, I am determined to follow your example!

I’m in bed too, had a 0% beer with my dinner, lovely bath, now in bed with my book and a cup of herbal tea. Determined to make it through weekend no.3 @Springadorable imagine how proud you’ll be of yourself on Monday after making it through the weekend. We’ve all got this.
I haven’t had any skin flare ups @malazzie just a few headaches and feeling a bit dehydrated. I’m not sure if I feel any different yet but am hopeful
Im trying to think of a way to reward myself if/when! I make it to a month. So I’ve something to look forward to. Those who have managed this longer term, did you do anything like this?

Some great Friday night achievements!

@FiloPasty it’s a great idea to plan treats for when you hit goals. I used to book a hammam (Turkish bath) for the big milestones- which can be whatever you decide they are!

Good morning mes aimies.
I was in desperate need of Yorkshire tea.

I used my first savings for therapy. £50 a week for about nine months.
Now I use it for plants or Marks posh food.
I did buy myself a new chunky jumper. I've never had one as I was 'chunky' but I've always fancied that arty look. Raspberry wool from House of Bruar.

I have a great excuse to get upstairs for 8pm as I watch the gardening on a Friday. No one else is green fingered.

I love the cottage but not the location. It's in the middle of nowhere.

A friend of ours makes a living as a posh house photographer for estate agents.

His photos are incredible and could make a pig sty look desirable. I think it adds about £250 to the agents fees when listing and I am always surprised that not every one takes this offer

Good morning! So nice to feel fresh and go for a run before taking the kids to the zoo. Need to remember this feeling when I'm tempted tonight because I've "earned it". It's mad how we trick ourselves. Have a bad day - earned it. Have a lovely day - earned it 🤦

We shouldn't blame ourselves - it's the alcohol that tricks us. A friend drank three-quarters of a bottle of Baileys the other day - and has done similar previously. She's got a sweet tooth so it's the perfect combination of cream and sugar for her and is very easy to drink. But it's the alcohol that ruins any inhibitions she might have had about drinking so much.

Ha! @Swimfreak I was not far behind you!
@Springadorable enjoy the zoo without the nagging hangover!

Made it through a night where I felt pretty tempted. Weird but seems it was the start of a cold. What a ridiculous situation when feeling unwell, and run down means I crave wine... as that would make me more tired and reduce my immune system to be able to fight any bugs.

Packing the house up is pretty tiring tbh... trying to think of a treat for the end of the day.... it will probably be sweet.... x

I've just checked the alcohol content - it's substantially stronger than wine 😨

Your poor friend, she will have felt dreadful the next morning.

Apparently she drank a total of 21 units yesterday and I've noticed that sort of behaviour is becoming more common for her. She doesn't drink every day (like I did) but always overdoes it when she does. And she always says she's learned her lesson... The hard part is that I know I can't help her really.

The so funny, I’m coming down with a cold and am sneezing endlessly, I also last night had those feelings of a glass of red wine would be good right now, I’m ill why oh why do I need alcohol.

I also didn't realise it was so strong. It doesn't taste like it could possibly cram in that percentage!

@Womanshour , packing up a house is my least favourite job. Even when I think I've cleared out all the rubbish in a billion tip trips, it rapidly becomes apparent I haven't. I feel your pain!