200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

aaah the drunk conversations......

@Sonnet that's a great result, well done. Even though you're tired, it's better than being tired and hungover. You're doing great.
@FeelingLessTired well done on Day 8, you're doing great, too.
@FeelingLessTired I do IF / 16:8 - so, brunch about 11am, tea about 4pm, it works well for me. My weight is going down but I need to cut back more on the chocolate.

My holiday is 2 weeks on Friday. One of the activities is swimming in an alpine lake with people from all over the world ( it's a walking holiday). I look bumpy in my cossie but at my age, you get past caring. I understand where you're coming from though ❤️

50 days today 🥳. Can't believe it really. I'm halfway to 100 but for the first time in my life, I see it as a long - term goal now. I'm just not wasting any more time, effort or money on it. I'm going to be the healthiest I can be and stay alive for my granddaughters ❤️
No carvery today as dh called to work. I'm ok with that and he's happy because he gets to see Oasis live 😁

@Goandygohow long did you notice for your anxiety to vastly improve? I have noticed a bit of an improvement but could definitely do with a bit more!! Day 16 for me now. I'm almost starting to lose track (I only know because I checked my app) which must be a good thing!

It's so strange that it really seems to be clicking this time for me too. I am experiencing so many benefits to being AF, which I never really had before. Probably because I went back to the wine before I started feeling them. I definitely without a doubt looking slimmer. I don't hate myself when I look in the mirror atm which is a whole new experience since I had DC, but I am still the same weight! It so strange! I stood on the scales again today because I thought surely they would be less because of how I look (still overweight, but just a bit better!) and nope, they were the same!!

@FeelingLessTiredwow that sounds very stressful! You've still got 3 weeks though so you've got a bit of time if that's what you want (and not your parents!).

@SonnetI bet you were so glad when you climb into bed that you weren't one of the drunks ones. Shame you didn't have a good night's sleep though.

@Goandygoalpine lake swimming sounds amazing!!

Had a lovely chilled day today. Had a play date this morning with a clear head and then bought a beautiful hydrangea from the garden centre on the way home. I would never normally have bought a plant like that 'just because' but we reasoned that we would have normally have spent the same amount on wine this weekend! My DH is giving up vaping atm (that's what the lie was about, but there's a bit more to it which I won't go into!). He's read the Allen Carr book on quitting vaping (there is one on alcohol too) and interesting it advises against tracking and rewards. For me it's definitely helping because it's showing me what I can have instead of wine. I'm not a brilliant gardener but hopefully this hydrangea will last longer than the wine would have!!

HRV still in the 50s today...

@Goandygowell done on 50 days!!! Amazing! It really doesn't seem that long ago to me that you were at 30 days! I feel the same way about it being long term for me now, although I am still early days. The cravings have definitely stopped for me already. I have to say when I joined this thread I didn't think I could do 200 days, I mainly joined because I knew something had to change and when I read your post about damaging your teeth and hurting your shoulder I could really relate because that was just after I hurt my ankle, so I thought I'd better hop on board! So glad I did!

@paintcolourchart thanks ! And I'm glad my post encouraged you to 'hop' onboard 🤣
We're very similar in our initial thoughts. I never thought I could do 200 days, not 100, not even 50 really. I never managed Dry Jan or Sober October previously - I just couldn't do it. Maybe my accident was more rock bottom than initially thought.
Don't worry about the weight for now - it will happen. You're doing so well and there are such things as non scale victories, so don't forget those.
To be honest, my anxiety lessens pretty much as soon as I stop drinking. The 3am hangxiety just goes. I still have my moments but I'm also more able to cope - I journal a lot, then make sure I read back to see what all the fuss was about. Eye - opening, honestly.
Not drinking / having no hangover also means I get out more, more energy and walking is so great for me.
I have also sailed through the menopause apart from 3 symptoms ( insomnia, weight gain, aforementioned anxiety), but ALL of these are vastly improved when I don't drink.
So, really, no symptoms.

Morning all.

day 9.

I have a really busy few days ahead of me. Because I have been so tired and unwell lately I am behind on all the stuff I need to do before going away.

AF Cider got me through last night.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Re sober treats (hydrangeas are a wonderful idea!) and non-scale victories. I totally agree with you all. My anxiety has lessened. I have spent a bit too much of not-drinking money this month though.... bought shoes and a top from Boden. Usually outside of my preferred price range!

Also a completely random good thing about being AF... I can lie on my side facing DH at night. Usually I am too self-conscious of my boozy breath (despite teeth brushing of course!).

I have tried 16:8 before also @Goandygo . I found it hard to fit 3 meals in so was interested to read you have brunch then tea only. That makes alot of sense to me. Last night worked well for me. I made a pasta bake with loads of hidden vegetables for the fussy ones in the family. Tonight will be BBQ chicken drumsticks and vegetables. I find once I get to 2 pm then any food cravings I have just go and I am fine. We eat around 5 pm those days. I do have to pay attention to my body though- because I occasionally have blood sugar issues so there are times I know I simply have to eat and to not try and push through too hard.

Hope you all have a good day! Looking forward to hearing more about sober treats!

Morning All,

Happy AF Monday to you all.

its both heartwarming and inspiring to hear your stories.

A special congratulations to @Goandygo for 50 days. It has been years, and I mean years, since I have been AF free. I only dare admit this on here.

I love the hydrangea @paintcolourchart , A reminder of the sober days achieved maybe?

I also do 16:8, I tend to have a late breakfast , a snack and an evening meal. I need to bring the evening meal forward though as we eat too late. Now I’m not having a “glass to chill” before I do anything I should be able to achieve this 😀

I typed a long post yesteday but then lost it!! The jist of it was this:

I got talking to a friend at the big party who I thought was always in control of her alcohol consumption. I spent time away with her on holiday in a group and I had noted that she seems to make conscious choices about when she drinks.
I was discussing with her, my recent spell of reducing alcohol ( I can’t say quitting as I failed at that) and she confided that this hasn’t always been the case.
She too, up until two years ago, was a daily drinker. She now doesn’t drink alcohol at all at home. She does have a few drinks at an event like Saturday night, but even going out to other houses for meals, or catching up with friends for meals out she often chooses to drive. She’s quite into her fitness which she says helps immensely. So even although she was drinking on Saturday night to ensure she kept in control she had booked a Sunday morning run at 10:30 with a friend. She knew she would not let this friend down as a friend is training for a half marathon.

She stopped drinking completely for a while and said that the biggest breakthrough for her was completely eradicating the drinking at home. Once drinking at home was not ever a thing she was able to choose to drink at events.

her biggest tip is to keep busy!! But I think we all know that and are feeling more productive.

well it’s my first day back at work today , I’ve had over 2 weeks off. I’m slightly dreading it and feeling very anxious.! BUT whatever today throws at me I know I will not be cracking open the wine or having a cheeky G&T after work

Thank you, all of you, for your support. It helps immensely.

Have an enjoyable day everyone , catch up later

@Sonnet

I actually think all my drinking problems started when I started drinking at home. I don't go out much, only when I have to. It's just so much easier to stay in.
Thanks for taking the time to replenish your post - I know how annoying it is !! And for all your support, too.
Hope work is ok - I'm sure you'll smash whatever it is you smash ❤️
@FeelingLessTired well done on Day 9 and I hope you're feeling better than you have been. Busy is good and I hope you get it all done. Soon you'll be in Double Figures.
I think af cider could be The One - my dh is fond of it, too. Too fond - wish he'd buy his own.

I'm thinking that when I get to 100, I might go back to where my accident happened. Not in a maudlin way. I'm not laying flowers at the scene, but in a celebratory way - this is how I should have done it.
Although I'm a bit worried the bar staff might remember me.
Scrap that.....I'll think of something else 🤣🥴

@Goandygo tbf other than quitting the booze I have not been very proactive about weight loss since I hurt my ankle because that put a stop to my activity levels. However I am still amazed at the difference in appearance despite not losing anything. I genuinely look about half a stone lighter!!!! I finally went for my morning walk this morning and I'm planning a swim later. Will be logging on my fitness pal from now on as well so hopefully the actual weight loss will start kicking in over the next few weeks.

I've read about the 3am anxiety after drinking a lot on here, but I never had it. I did have it the following day and my heart would often pound and I'd usually end up taking beta blockers to calm it - mad really when you think about it isn't it.

Pleased to hear menopause isn't always ghastly. I am mid 30s so potentially won't be too long for me now before peri starts.

@FeelingLessTired well done on day 9! Before you know it the numbers will keep racking up quickly! Glad you've had some treats instead of wine this month too. I definitely think it does help! I actually have a list on my phone of sober treats 😂 the hydrangea wasn't planned but it was a particularly beautiful one.

@Sonnet I always just assume everyone else around me has a hold on their drinking, but actually I don't think that's necessarily true! Hope your first day back at work goes well! Maybe have a little treat planned for yourself after?

My dependence on drink definitely started by drinking at home - I’m not a big socialite around booze.

Day 6 done ✅

glad the first day back at work is over. Got a couple of people issues though after my boss interfered in my team whilst I was away! Tomorrow will be spent sorting those out😀 but at least on a 100% clear head 😀

hope everyone has had a good day

@Sonnet yay, glad your first day back went OK. Sometimes, it's like you've never been away.
Well done on Day 6 and a clear head awaits.

A slow day here but ok. I managed to have brunch and tea and no snacks whatsoever so that's a good start for me.
I was eating quite a lot of chocolate and eating a bit mindlessly ( I don't even have a sweet tooth).
Onwards and downwards as the slimmers say.

Hello my people. I stayed up far too late last night reading the thread from start to finish. Which feels a bit unfair, like I "know" you all and you don't know me! But we are very alike in our struggles with the dreaded wine bottle.

I've been aware for about 5 years that my alcohol intake has been problematic. I decided to do a Dry Jan in 2020 and fell after 9 days because I found it so hard. Over time I've added in podcasts, quit lit, newsletters, AF instagram, mumsnet threads ... I've managed a Dry Jan 2021; a 37 day streak; a 67 day streak. (these streaks are pretty much always after an appalling blackout with a random injury). Last year, after an awful night out where I embarrassed myself, went into blackout and my husband had to come and collect me, I swore I was done with it. I went over 4 months (112 days) and cracked over the Xmas period. I get trapped in spirals of shame and self-sabotage.

And since then I am going around and around again in the trap of "moderation."
Drinking 4 or 5 nights a night, polishing off a bottle a time, often more at weekends. Often drinking on my own when my husband's not drinking. (You were talking about drinking at home above - it's the devil's work isn't it).
Getting to Monday morning feeling ashamed, knackered, crap, bloated and hangxiety. Frustrated that I am stuck here. Knowing that I should give up but also feeling terrified that I can't do it and scared of being the odd one out again.

I really enjoy some of the AF podcasts and quit lit but I sometimes wonder if they're just making me think about alcohol more? Not sure.

Most of all, I'm terrified that I am making myself unwell. My HR and HRV and sleep are all noticeably affected after a session.

So I'm here, Day 2, I am not sure what my aim is especially as we have a holiday coming up but I am having a serious think about doing 2026 alcohol-free. I am going to let that percolate. How can liquid have such an impact on me?

I'm happy to give a few tips I picked up when my streaks were going well:

• often you're just thirsty. Have some water, cuppa, anything, that'll usually help.
• ask yourself "why"? If you notice a craving, try and reflect upon it. What is really going on for you? It's often stress and overwhelm. Boredom, Wanting to switch off. Then you can decide what to do next.
• celebrate the small wins
• be prepared for a tsunami of feelings
• set up an AF instagram, there's lots of good people to follow

A few people said upthread about their husbands just deciding to stop and that was it. I think it seems more complex for women, because we tend to drink for emotional reasons. Some of us have alcoholism within the family and there is certainly a genetic component. Many of us will have trauma. It's rarely simple and there's often a lot to unravel (and it's painful and makes us want to reach for our old crutch). And we will be the ones who beats ourselves up the most when we don't quit drinking successfully first time - which is the most unrealistic expectation! x

Welcome @Steppered !

That is very interesting what you say about women often drinking for more complex emotional reasons. Really very interesting indeed. I think you are completely right. I need to give that some deeper thought.

I hear you on the endless cycle of trying to moderate. God. I make/made so many promises to myself but the truth is once I start I can't stop. Oh and the shame. Just awful.

Day 10 for me. I have to do this. I just have to. I have spent probably near 20 years worrying about my drinking and beating myself up. It's time to change the record.

Hi @Steppered great to meet you !
Yes, lots you say resonates with me - most of it.

What struck me from your post is that you have been successful in giving up before. You've had some long streaks there ( longer than me, anyway). So, you can do it.
Interesting that you cracked after your longest one. I'm 'only' on day 52 and the more I abstain, the less I want it. I understand I'm probably being naive here, no idea when or if I'll crack.
It's all so complex sometimes, probably because we're dealing with human nature. We're all so alike yet different.
Excuse my waffling !
(I often compare abstention to dieting - the emotional aspect, too.)
Thanks for the tips. More recently, I've been asking Why ? when a craving or thought hits. It's working for me.

I was thinking about how I used to moderate. I was on a thread on here for a few years, yet it doesn't work for me.
Yes, I can sometimes have 2 glasses of wine with a meal, but I've found it's such hard work. It's easier for me to abstain.
And the reason I was moderating in the first place was because I was terrified of a life without it. I needed to sort that out first.

I'm going to join you all and have been reading all of these threads.

I'm on day 9 and had seriously cut down to relatively moderate weekend drinking only anyway. But what is moderate hey? Two gins and half a bottle of wine on Friday, then again Saturday, then again Sunday. And honestly this really only came about due to weight loss injections. Prior to that it would have been the gins and the whole bottles every weekend.

But, and my very big but is that I had to have a tongue biopsy last week and I await the results. I'm seriously hoping that it's tongue frictional keratosis which is rubbing of the underside of the tongue against an old damaged filling. But the consultant still wanted a biopsy to determine exactly what the issue is.

Whatever the outcome I really do feel this needs to be the end of my alcohol consumption. I'm avidly reading all the Quit Lit books and honestly I'm actually quite shocked at just how damaging alcohol is. Obviously, I've always been aware that it's not great but I didn't realise just how poisonous it is. Marry it with cigarettes and it becomes even worse.

The vapes have gone in the bin, the alcohol has to be in the past and I simply have to look into the future in a different way.

I'm finding it helpful reading all of the posts from everyone on this thread and others. Thank you.

@Kipperandarthur hi and welcome.
That's exactly what I think regarding moderation. If I only drank on a weekend, it's still 2 bottles of wine. Then maybe on a Wednesday ( always a Wednesday), I'd buy 1 bottle again.
So, 3 bottles a week - was kidding myself. Plus the smoking ( only smoked when drinking).
I hope your results are OK. Must be a worrying time for you.
Well done on Day 9 - double digits tomorrow.
You can do it ❤️

Welcome aboard @Steppered - I felt like that too when I sat and read the whole thread and then introduced myself! I have also been on other threads but this is the one that's working for me. I often read on here and in quit lit that you need to identify why you drink and for so long I kidded myself that it was just because I liked the taste bla bla bla but I am now finally admitting to myself that it was a stress response. Really interesting what you say about men being able to take or leave it more, because that's exactly what my husband is like. Although in recent months he's been suggesting we get a bottle (etc!) just as often as I've been wanting it. He has a stop button though, and he will feel sick if he drinks too much whereas I never feel sick at the time and will just want to keep going. Anyway, welcome and yes you have proved to yourself that you can do this! I think we can all relate to the drunken injuries and embarrassing situations here. Have you reread any of the quit lit? I am rereading the unexpected joy of being sober and it's sinking in a lot better this time (I last read it 2 years ago and have proved to myself that I absolutely cannot moderate since then!!).

@Goandygo I am also worried I might crack. This time really does feel different though. I actually feel like I could describe myself as a non drinker now, and not just 'taking a break'. But then I have to remind myself that steady on, it's only been 18 days!! You say you are terrified of a life without it, but it's been a decent stretch for you now - how are you finding it? I'm finding it much better and easier than I have done on my previous failed attempts. I have been filling my time and almost feel like I don't have time to sit on the sofa getting drunk because I'd rather be doing something else 😂 as I say I am worried this mindset will change, but so far so good!

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Hi @Kipperandarthur , wishing you the best with the biopsy results. Alcohol is awful isn't it, I wish it was just banned. If it was invented now it would never be allowed on society!

My moderation always ends up like that too. I find moderation a real trap. I want the unicorn of moderation - which is, to effortlessly become this "take it or leave it" drinker. Who might have a glass of fizz a couple times a year and not even think about it. Each time I moderate I am hoping for that but deep down I know I will never be that. In my heart I know I should just stop 100%. It takes up so much damn headspace though.

@Goandygo for the last 4 month streak I had, I was simultaneously going through group therapy which was very challenging in places. I honestly felt like I'd taken on too much and that the therapy and abstaining were clear signs that there was an awful lot to fix and something deeply wrong with me. I can be my own worst enemy.

Welcome aboard to you too @Kipperandarthur yes moderation is in way harder than just stopping altogether! Well done on day 9! Double digits soon and then the numbers will start to feel like they're are climbing more quickly and easily (I say this like I am an expert but I'm only on day 18 myself!!) but that is my experience of the last week/10 days.

Yes, it's actually astounding how bad for us alcohol is! If it was brought to the market today there's no way it would be allowed and yet it's so freely available.

Really hope your results are nothing to worry about, do keep us posted if you feel comfortable doing so.

Ha cross post with @Stepperedabout it not being allowed if it was invented now!

Thanks for the welcome @paintcolourchart and we are clearly having the same thoughts here!

I'm at a place where I'm not sure about re-reading quit lit. There are some days it just feels like alcohol is taking centre stage even when I'm not drinking and that can feel frustrating. Especially if I'm listening to sober podcasts etc, it can be hours of material. So they are all there, accessible on my kindle, but I think I'm going to stick to fiction in the evenings to be able to relax.

For those worrying about cracking, I get it, it's hard. Many people will say that relapse is part of recovery. You can have a good streak, then you drink and you feel SHIT. It makes you want sobriety more. It's often many false starts for us, many indeed, but I think it helps change that brain chemistry deep down. (The brain chemistry which deeply believes that alcohol relaxes us, etc).

Welcome too @Kipperandarthur !

On the subject of quit lit - yes I can see how it still makes alcohol the centre of things. That is what I disliked about AA when I went about 10 years ago. I just detested the thought of decades later being in a room still talking about alcohol.... mind you... here I am still quitting so maybe they have it right. I just want to remove thoughts of alcohol from my mind. DH never gives alcohol a second thought. On occasion he says he misses red wine and cheese- which was his main love. But he just shrugs about it.

Last night I started reading Susie Dent's fiction book 'Guilty by Definition'. It was a book club suggestion I was in favour of because lately we have had some really hard reads and I am at a phase of my life now when I need something that amuses me but does not impact on my inner psyche. I think this book is shaping up nicely for that.

My (next) sober treat- when I get to 20 days I am FINALLY going to get a haircut. Honestly it's ridiculous how I have let that slide. Plus buy a new makeup primer which I find really does the job.