Tulips, Snowdrops and Brownies! Thread 4 for those wanting a coffee not a cocktail🌷🧁☕️

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5147598-day-1-or-100-tulips-and-snowdrops-say-browniesnotbeer

Boldly starting Thread 4, link above to Thread 3. Hoping some of the oldies will join and always open to newbies. This thread is for anyone looking to chat and support those trying to lead an alcohol free life ❤️

Hi all, good to hear everyone’s updates. All positive stories and something for everyone to relate to. I’m hitting day 130 this week. I think I said before that something has clicked for me. I’m thinking less and less about wine and no longer feel deprived that I’m not drinking. I don’t “want” it now.

I got so much done over the bank holiday weekend. In the old days I would have drank possibly Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday over a bank holiday and then felt rough as anything on the Monday. Instead I did an exercise class on the Thursday night and then blitzed through my jobs over the weekend. Really made the most of the time. Did two Caroline Iron workouts and even managed a walk. Went back to work this morning feeling refreshed.

There’s no comparison to the old me.

Wow guys - some positive stuff going on here! Well done everyone, keep going - it’s worth it I promise.

Apologies for not checking in much - busy time at work and home. Still dry. Well over 600 days now. Still fat and tired though so really need to get that tackled. Gutted three stone didn’t magically drop off and all my energy return when I stopped drinking! I am planning to blitz the house as the mess and clutter is definitely impacting my mood! But otherwise all good.

@BoilingHotand50something I put on weight when I stopped! It’s taken a few months to drop it all again but chipping away with small changes has made a difference. The Iron workouts are fantastic. I’ve upped my weights in just 10 sessions (around 20 days for me). Plus I do the treadmill. Have you got a watch that tracks exercise and calories? Game changer for me. I was jumping around the bedroom the other night to hit my calorie target before bed because I was only 50 off 😆 DH thinks I’ve lost the plot.

I know my updates have not been so frequent recently but I guess that’s because I’m not struggling so much. Everything is coming together. It took longer than expected and now I see how easy it was to just throw in the towel but when it clicks it feels wonderful! I feel wonderful!

Bloody marvellous!! I’m glad you are feeling so bright and happy @AFmammaG, you’re a walking advert for it all coming together.

Thank you @TimesaChangeling! I look at the posts from last year. Dry and happy, drinking and depressed. Swinging from anxiety to elation and back again. Life may be more of a steady 5 than a 10 or a 1 but it turns out a steady 5 is the place to be. I certainly have far more highs than lows these days.

I’m day 83 today.

I don’t think I’ve thought about alcohol for 3 days, I can’t believe it!

I’ve lost some weight and my skin is looking brighter and my teeth whiter.

I’ll take a steady 5/10 too @AFmammaG some days I feel a real sense of contentment - like a calm feeling I’ve not had in a long time.

@BoilingHotand50something 600 days is fantastic! Do you think about alcohol still? Weight loss is hard - I am determined to build muscle and get fit, I love doing the weights program, would highly recommend it.

I've just completed Day 8. I know I've got a long way to go - and the added challenge of a holiday coming up soon - but I'm feeling proud. I stocked up on some more AF drinks, did a load of gardening for an elderly neighbour and sat out in the sunshine with tea and a book. It was so nice out there that I didn't even notice when 6pm came and went. In the past I'd be checking the clock constantly, waiting for 'opening time'!

Well done @LillyPJ! You are through one of the hardest weeks! I always wondered why I kept repeating that first week over and over.

I hope the rest of your weekend is just as fabulous!

@Cantdoitalll I remember in the first couple of months feeling so disappointed with 5/10 🫣 I guess I was still adjusting from the big highs and lows that come with drinking and being hungover.

Morning all, how is everyone doing? Just jumped on to say the benefits of not drinking just keep coming. I’ve had a great weekend. Good sleep, eating well and managed a nice long walk yesterday. The sun was shining and it just felt so great not to be hungover. Not to have my brain thinking about a drink. It really has given me this sense of peace and quiet. I’m starting to realise how to cope with life. How to manage without that escape. I always knew that drinking didn’t help but it takes a while to see the benefits. So don’t give up! If you are struggling I want to say it’s totally worth it. You don’t see all those benefits immediately… they creep into your life without you even noticing until one day… boom it’s here and you wonder how you even functioned before ❤️

I’ve just calculated that my 100 days AF will land on my birthday!
Seems like a lovely mark of my impending achievement (still got 13 days to go!)
I’m really enjoying life right now. DP is still alcohol free, he’s done 4 weeks. Life is feeling very different right now. I don’t want to jinx it but I really hope we have turned a corner as a couple.
I am a bit behind you @AFmammaG but the rewards are like little spring flowers poking through the grass, I feel like I’m entering into a new phase of life after a long winter.
So glad you’re feeling good @AFmammaG 😍

the rewards are like little spring flowers poking through the grass
Yes indeed @Cantdoitalll how beautifully put.

What a week I have had. My eldest has been unwell again and in hospital. We are approaching end of term and the schools just seem intent on inviting parents in several times a week for a talk about this, or do this with your child or a meeting about this trip. Oh and don’t forget tins for the food bank and toilet rolls for this activity and on and on and on. Friday night I was honestly at the end of my tether. What is it about hot weather and wanting a drink? Despite knowing the two together can be deadly.

Anyway, I jumped on the treadmill, literally all evening Friday and Saturday. Not even pounding it. Just up and walking. Focussing on my goals. How to achieve them. The longer I spend away from alcohol the less I want it, this much is true. But it is an effort. It isn’t easy. I’m still reading loads of quit lit. Learning new ways to be who I want to be. My mind is clear. My sleep is peaceful. I wake without dread. Without the pounding head. Without the nausea and anxiety. Day 140 tomorrow and no regrets.

Morning. I’m checking in so I can come back later and read the updates and provide me own, having been in the original thread.

Sorry to hear about your son @AFmammaG
welcome back @MissSmith80 how are you doing?
Ah the beautiful weather, the garden looking lovely and the BBQ. I really wanted that crisp white last night. The craving/longing doesn’t go. Definitely easier to handle that the early days but it’s still there. I keep repeating I don’t drink alcohol anymore
Day 92 today. I can see why the advice is to give up for 100 days, there is definitely some sort of mental shift from a period of abstinence this long. I know that some feel a bit flat after this point so I’m trying not to focus too much on it, it’s just another day and it is still one day at a time.
Life is feeling good just now, just wish my perimenopause symptoms were a bit better 😂

I did feel flat around 100 days because it was the furthest I had got in years and I expected a huge change at that point and it didn’t come…. But it’s exactly as you describe. Small changes that you don’t really register that build and build until one day, not that long after, you realise I don’t feel shit anymore. In fact I feel good. Great even. And not just for a bit. Like almost every day. And I cope better. Not just for a while, like all the time. It’s quietly awesome.

I hope you are ok @MissSmith80

Thanks for your mentions @AFmammaG and @Cantdoitalll

All good here thanks, approaching 600 days AF and honestly, it must be amongst the best decisions I’ve made.
I don’t think about alcohol any more, it’s just not what I do. I don’t even consider if I can drink 1 or 2 - it would do nothing for me even if it didn’t lead to the ‘slippery slope’.

It’s taken me until the last few weeks to drop AF versions of drinks, I was having AF lager and gin but even the taste for that has gone now.

I’m going on an AI holiday next week and am intrigued by it - I guess there will be people drinking Prosecco for breakfast - I honestly don’t think will bother me at all, a nice ice cold sparkling water is all I’ll need.

I’ve also lost just over 3 stone - not just the alcohol, it’s taken a lot of effort to exercise and eat well but the 340k calories that I haven’t consumed in alcohol over those 580 off days must have helped!

Anyway, I’m going to go back and read each comment now but wanted to come back and thank each of you on these threads who have helped me
get to this point xx

@MissSmith80 Wow - 600 days! You're an inspiration. And it's great to hear that there could come a time when we're not thinking about having a drink - it feels a bit obsessive at the moment to me. Have a great holiday!

That’s amazing @MissSmith80
What an achievement with your weight loss too. You must feel on top of the world. Have a brilliant holiday 😎

Yay @MissSmith80 I was a bit worried it would be bad news when you said you wanted to come back and update 😬 600 days is so awesome and add the 3 stone weight loss, fabulous! And the fact you are so confident about your holiday is refreshing. It’s a wonderful update! The birds are singing, the sun is shining and everything feels wonderful! Enjoy your holiday!

@AFmammaG sorry! I realised after your last post to say that you hoped I was ok, that you might have assumed that it had all gone a bit wrong!

Thank you for your congratulations - honestly, it I can do this, anyone can but it took me years and many, many day 1’s xx

The 600 days is wonderful @MissSmith80 as is the weight loss! I am down a similarish amount and I feel so much better for it and much more like my old self (well almost my old self 😁). It’s no bother to say no and I almost always choose to do so (I am not 100% which is okay with me, at the moment anyway). I am not exactly springing out of bed though, I wake up feeling like a bus has hit me most days. It dissipates quickly but my gym mornings have turned into a bit of a struggle at the moment. I am slightly wondering if it’s hayfever of a sort and that’s why my eyes are practically glued together…

It’s the chipping away that seems to work, isn't it? Keeping consistent. Even a 20 minute walk on the treadmill makes me feel better. I agree it’s not easy and I don’t spring out of bed either @TimesaChangeling but it is so much better dry. Also have to pinch myself that I’m looking at 150 days next week. Never would I have believed that possible this time last year. I was already excusing my drinking with lots of “almost the summer holidays’ comments.

After 150 days I’ll be looking towards 6 months dry. My mind is blown. Go us!!!

Day 97 today. 100 is approaching!
I had a night out with some friends, it’s normally quite boozy and they were surprised to hear I wasn’t drinking, there were a few blunt questions and I did struggle with being asked if I’m ever going to drink again. I just don’t know.
I explained that I was sick of getting up in the morning with a sense of dread, of wasting half of my days off/weekends with a feeling of impending doom and eyeing up the wine I would drink later.

Honestly, I may just enjoy the odd glass when I’m out one day, but I’ll not drink at home ever again. I used it to self soothe for a few hours but now I have other things to help - exercise, some stretches or a cup of tea. I do still miss it like an old friend, but it’s been such a toxic part of my life for too long!

That’s incredible @Cantdoitalll! That’s would be 100 days with nothing wasted, no regret and no pointless alcohol in the equation! When you look back and realise it wasn’t that bad after all - I wish you could bottle it (ha) and send it to yourself at the start so you could know it would be fine.

I actually struggled this week after my chirpy “it’s no bother to say no” post earlier this week (pride comes before a fall). I made it through okay in the end but in the back of my mind I recall a post by someone who said that she made a point of never drinking when she was desperate to, only when she was ambivalent. That way she had more confidence that she wasn’t rewarding those triggers and developing unhelpful behaviour patterns, which I thought was quite interesting and a useful way to look at it.

Hi all, @Cantdoitalll are you on day 100? If so, huge congratulations! How are you feeling?