The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Ahoy shipmates.
All well here on the good ship sober sister.
@Kindtomyself congrats on fifty days.

The DH wants me to try walking today and I'm not up to it. I cooked a roast and it nearly did me in.
Will need to get emotional I think.

Morning my wonderful sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

The body is a physical reflection of the choices you make over a lifetime. Quote Dr Deepak Chopra.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

That's really made me think @Kindtomyself . I initially was looking around the room to see if any other woman were there,only a handful.
Years ago if people weren't drinking I'd think it was because they were driving, had to be up early or on medication. Now...if they're under 35years I'd think it's a lifestyle choice, but older than 35 years I'd guess for the same reason as me . Making assumptions is a dangerous game. I think with so many people from the younger generations not drinking now (25% ?) Beings sober doesn't stand out anywhere near as much as it did years ago. And maybe, just maybe I don't look like such an old fart.

Morning. 51 days completed.
I am loved. I am worthy. I can walk out with my head held high. I am powerful.
I am not defined by my mistakes. I am not defined by external validation.

I have a place and make a difference to this world. I am grateful for all I have.

I am proud of how far I have come.

@mermadeincornwall interesting. There’s definitely a shift out there - that sobriety is acceptable.

Hi all, I'm new. Reading your posts resonates with Me. I've tried in the past to go af and been unsuccessful. I've read the alcohol free literature, I've listened to the podcasts I know I need to do it.

I'm mid 30s, I have a young dc and lovely dh. Excellent job.

I've been trying to go AF for a couple of years. I know I want to stop. My drinking has become a problem for me. That's enough to stop. My Dh and family don't think I have a problem. But I have horrendous hangovers, I've started to get the most awful relfux/symptoms like I have a hernia probably damaged my oesophagus from being sick!!

I had a good weekend where I moderated...until I didn't and ended up causing an argument and have black spots in my memory.
Normal weeks I can be AF Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday. Bottle of wine Thursday and Friday, bottle of wine Saturday. Maybe a few gins or vodkas. Cycle starts again...

I had two glasses of prosecco on Mother’s Day, so I’m back to zero. :-/

I read the “describe your mum in three words” thread. More than a few posters (including me) had ‘alcoholic’ as one of the three words, and in every case neither of the other two words were positive.

As posters upthread have commented, times have changed, and Gen Z is drinking less, but for me that was a good reminder of the value of sobriety.

Morning all.
It's still nippy here.

My boys went out for a game of sport last night. The DD and I watched a film. In the old days that would be wine time.

Welcome @DoBetter3590
Plenty of help here for those starting their sober journey.
'You can have everything but the drink'
Alcohol is just rotten vegetation and water (I've got a very visual mind so I see manky cucumbers and drips!).

I might get the DH to take me to marks food if the shower goes well. I'm in need of something nice.

Good morning, I don't know how to name individuals (a tech dinosaur!) but I gain so much from your posts. I'm very early on in my journey but so good to wake up after an AF evening

Just use@ followed by the name.

Good morning shipmates.

"Manky cucumber" @WendyWagon - that's a great analogy! Who doesn't love a brown and dripping bit of cucumber retrieved with horror from the corner of the salad crisper drawer?! 🥳

The first bluebells are starting to show themselves in the woods round here. It's a nice time of year to be clear-headed and sober. And, lest I forget, Sid does love a bluebell.

Strength and courage. We're going to make it. xx

@DoBetter3590Welcome ❤️ I used to take (prescribed) Lansoprazole every day for heartburn and acid reflux. Since giving up alcohol almost half a year ago, I no longer take this medication and my blood pressure which was very high is now low for my age. So many health benefits as well as a healthier liver!

Well done all! I'm on day 71 of my streak - it's getting easier each day!

Because I haven’t commented on this new thread yet, I don’t get emails about new posts! I’ve been logging in every few days and catching up.

Was it @ShyMaryEllen that recommended B vitamins? I’ve finally given them a go. I think I have PAWS. I seem to have these cycles outside of menstrual cycles that are similar… fatigue, mood swings etc that just disappear and I feel normal again.

Im at day 87 now. I’ve had so much on I think hangover fatigue would have broken me had a still been drinking bucketloads.

I didn’t think the whites of my eyes could be whiter but I noticed in the mirror the other day that they are significantly whiter! My hair seems a lot shiner and voluminous, too.

My weight wasn’t budging. I wasn’t trying very hard, admittedly. Somehow, 2lbs have just dropped off this week. Bizarre.

Anyway, l do think I’m about 3 weeks behind the curve. I’ve never fitted into the average category for anything in my life!!

Well done everyone for persevering.

👋🏻 hi all. Thanks for the new(ISH) thread @WendyWagon .

Welcome to all the new posters.

Busy busy busy here. Been to a family wedding abroad, school holidays and DC home, fitting work in around family and dogs and marathon training.

All very frantic.
10months tomorrow. Can hardly believe it.

Love and strength to all

Had a wobble last night but glad to say made it. Thought to myself you haven’t come this far to only come this far

Morning shipmates.

I did a Marks run yesterday. I had to have cheese scones. They have just been sampled with my beloved Yorkshire tea.

The DH is back to work this morning after taking two weeks off to look after me post operative. If I see another tuna sandwich I might scream!
The DH loves shopping but he does repeat purchase everthing. I'm not sure it's a good thing.

I have ants in my pants re the cottage. I'm not due to hear for another two weeks. It has a wine fridge but I'm sure the DC can fill that with pop. I don't think it will wink at me and having come out the other side feeling much better I wouldn't want to ruin that. I might be getting an ex drinkers mentality a bit like an ex smoker. I had to stop myself lecturing someone the other day who thought boozing to extremes was all a big laugh.

Off to the bridge folks.

Morning. Day 52 completed.
Welcome @DoBetter3590

Had a crappish day at work yesterday- someone was being an idiot and I struggle with it. It really was a bit like them
saying black was white. I escalated into a raft of negative thoughts and emotions. I would normally cope by pouring a glass as a reward or actually to numb and take the sting out the tail but I didn’t.

I told my estranged DH, who loves a drama, and he was outraged but I don’t trust his judgement or feedback because I always feel more stressed after talking to him.

Anyway onwards and upwards

Morning all. 2 days af but that's not crazy for me, like I said before I can often do sun-wed AF then start on Thursday. But I started listening to "hooked" on bbc sounds which was great but right before bed probably not a good idea, my brain was whirring and had a terrible sleep!!
I need to hold myself accountable long term aka forever here
I wrote down reasons why I need to stop drinking. And God it was stark! Bad!

Another day! Here we go!

Morning my wonderful sober friends.
I will not drink today.

It feels so liberating not to be stuck in that destructive drinking cycle. I never want to wake up in the morning feeling disgusted that I'd ' done it again '.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Welcome @DoBetter3590, have you read any quit lit ? It was a game changer for me. I understood that days 3,4 and 5 were when the cravings were at their worst,after that the physical withdrawal symptoms start to ease off, by day 10 you'll be physically free of alcohol. Then it's finding new habits to live AF.
It's hard but so worth it.

Hello. Long term sober woman who went back out a few years ago and now completely broken. I’ve tried short periods of sobriety, but cannot get past 50 days and I have to stop this pattern. I feel so ashamed and sad and guilty and disgusting. I don’t leave the house and I’m in constant fear and anxiety about financial ruin. I need to do this for myself and my kids. Today is day one I feel awful. Hungover, sick and exhausted. All wise words would be appreciated! It’s so true that going back out there has made me sicker than ever and now with lots more mental health issues than before.

Hay @mermadeincornwall yeah I've been trying to quit alcohol for a good couple of years, somehow this time is like right You MUST it's getting beyond a joke. Chaotic. I've read the unexpected joy of being sober and the sober diaries as well as podcast over podcast!! I know all about the wine o clock myth and the fact that one glass of wine will give you a buzz but after that it's all down hill from there...a wake up call has been reading my daughter her book last night and she said you already read these pages on Sunday...I was drunk I don't remember! Oh god.

Welcome @boxset that feels awful you poor thing x have you ever had councillors or support for your anxiety? Are you drinking at home or out? Make sure you have no booze in for one x you got this xx

At Home. Evening onwards. Have psychiatric support yes. Need to find counselling but TT is no good apparently too complex. I know I just need to get back into recovery. But today I am hanging by a thread with self disgust and anxiety. Feel sick and shit. X

@DoBetter3590 interested to know whether you have written down reasons why you should drink?
Also that rollercoaster you describe about staying AF M - T is common - brain is starting to feel more ‘normal’ after a few days without the booze isn’t it? We start to think that we are fine, we can have a couple (or 10) and it all starts again. It’s exhausting