The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Welcome @boxset you’re in the right place at the right time. You are doing something that thousands of people perhaps millions aren’t doing and that’s taking a step towards your wellbeing. Please recognise that you are dealing with a difficult situation and you are bloody winning.

@DoBetter3590 S - W AF not M - T!

Welcome @boxset

Lots of us have been in your position. Fifty days sober is amazing.

Have you tried SMART or AA? Both free you don't need to go on camera.
Would your GP be able to help?

My issues were never around socialising, it was numbing feelings for me. I had a really tough decade when the DC were children and I couldn't cope. Sick, aging parents and money worries. God knows how I wasn't found in a ditch.

Today is a new day for you. Have something to eat and plenty of water.
You can do this.

Funnily enough absolutely not @Kindtomyself, why drink? Because everyone expects me to? Habit? Not great reasons at all! The reasons to quit are SO much stronger!!!

I know @DoBetter3590 logically it’s crazy to keep drinking. I saw it as a reward for many things- numbing myself out, taking away the cares of the world etc but it doesn’t last.

I fell today because I wanted some wine to put in the bolognaise sauce. How stupid is that?

Definitely numbing key for me in coping with chronic stress. I’m wide awake can’t sleep I’m so tired but anxious about calls I have to make tomorrow and will no doubt drop off at 6am… 😵‍💫

Morning my wonderful sober friends on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

We're only dancing on this earth a short time. ( Cat Stevens ?)
I love dancing, but not stumbling round on the dance floor making a tit of myself.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober. # @newme2025

Morning, and welcome @boxset.
My heart goes out to you, alcohol is a nasty insidious drug. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's tough.
Your post reminded me of Kate Baily and Mandy Manners (book Love yourself sober) their journey to stay sober longterm. A reminder to me to keep up the self care for my mental health.
I'm not much help, but hopefully just writing it down on this forum will help clarify everything for you.
Extra love and kind thoughts to you
💕

Morning 53 days completed.
Challenging day yesterday- having to deal with tricky work situation and in the past I have struggled.
I am seeing my sobriety as emotional as well as physical which means not only do I need to not take a drink, I also have to deal with all my emotions that are here. They always were here but I would ignore and numb them.
I am now taking steps to face them and deal with them. I am looking at my fears and seeing them as opportunities for growth.

I have written down what fears pop up and I am choosing to look at them in a new way. If I don’t do this and continue to ignore than I will be stuck.

@mermadeincornwall not too long ago I was stumbling around on a dance floor making a tit of myself

Morning all.
Good to see you @EastCoastDamsel . 10 months is amazing! 👏👏👏 Good luck with the marathon training

Sorry you fell @LittleGlowingOblong but you need to be honest with yourself. It wasn’t really about spaghetti was it? There were a thousand little thoughts and nudges between you wondering what to cook for dinner and lifting the glass to your lips. It is SO hard to push back against those thoughts but that’s the only way you’re going to get to the freedom on the other side. Every slip is an opportunity to learn, so you need to ask yourself what was really going on. I hope you figure it out - look after yourself today

Morning!! @LittleGlowingOblong today is another day, be kind to yourself ❤️

I'm entering the danger zone but feeling OK as it stands... I'm seeing a friend on Saturday and told her yesterday I'm not drinking I'm on a detox and I need to stand firm on this!

Just checking in, I'm reading every day. I'm struggling with anxiety so called the GP. Who agrees it sounds perimenopause related. I need a blood test first to rule anything else out, so need to book that in.

Bit anxious about it (no surprise!) I haven't actually drunk that many days this year (much better than the few months before christmas) so hoping that has paid off with blood test results being ok.

I'm going to book in for after the Easter break as my dm is unwell, so I childcare parent duty and working will be pretty stressful over Easter... and that won't be good for the blood pressure.

Thinking of everyone as as every greatful for @mermadeincornwall daily posts x

Day 53 is excellent @Kindtomyself.
I too am working on facing my issues. I'm definitely making progress as I too had a challenging situation at work last week, I stood my ground and remained calm. Before I would of been shaken up at being shouted at but I was fine. I read Katie Piper, Things get better, which helped me more than anything. I've become a self help book worm this past two years.
I've come to realise that you can't block out bad feelings, sometimes you can work through them and they go quite quickly, but sometimes it takes years for them to go, or at least fade into the background. It's the situations that aren't resolvable are hard to put aside.

Here's to dancing sober and still making tits of ourselves 😁

@mermadeincornwall thanks for your wise words and for the book suggestions, keep them coming, I note them down every time I see them mentioned. I too have been reading a lot of self help books even prior to stopping alcohol and the sobriety has launched me further into my search to tackle ‘stuff’. I am reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles hence my focus on Fear. It is something I need and want to look at as I’m determined to stop playing small.

Here to making sober tits of ourselves forever and owning it

Morning all
Hope you managed some sleep in the end ? Poor sleep is horrid. Can you get the phone calls out of the way first thing possibly and then focus on you a little? Well done on Day 1 - you never need to do that again ! Keep posting and reach out on here, there’s many of us to hand hold.
Day 118 here.
Has a small lapse recently but decided not to focus on guilt and negativity. I did not reset my clock, but rather took 3 days off my total and looked at what I could learn from it. I didn’t drink much, but I did have a a couple of glasses over 3 days. Initially I think I justified it with a couple of triggers (stress), but at the end of the day I need to learn from it and need to always always manage responses to stress in a healthy AF way.
I hope it makes me stronger but it does make it harder if that helps anyone else. I really was in a place we all hope to get too. The one where alcohol really doesn’t have a space at the front of the headspace anymore. It’s just a brief thought occasionally.
It was hard getting back to that space, but easier than it would have been 118 days ago for sure !!!
Hope everyone gets a little bit of sunshine today …. If not the big yellow kind then whatever sunshine feels like for you in a bottle ! X x x

@Kindtomyselfhavent caught up on what others may have recommended sorry but if it’s any good I’m currently enjoying My Sober Year and really like it.
Have also bought the SMART recovery handbook and workbook.
Another bite for Annie Grace 30 day experiment (I use it after 30 days) and her Naked Mind podcasts when out walking are a great quick listen.

Thanks @mumzof4x is that Love Your Sober Year? I can’t find a book called My Sober Year so I’m assuming so - I’ll add it to the list. It’s by the same authors that @mermadeincornwall recommended so I see that as a message from the universe.
Well done on your 118 days and getting stronger.

@KindtomyselfYes that’s the one, its such a good read x
Sorry I meant to tag @boxsetin previous post but my IT skills are pants !

Ahoy me hearties.
I've been on the phone since 8am.
One sniff of Wendy isn't dying and they're all wanting something.
So that's the good news folks. First op successful.

When we have a slip it pays to think of the bike rally analogy. You get back on and peddle. We don't go back to the beginning.
If it helps my first year was full of blips. I'd go months then fail to say no at a event (usually a funeral). I'd get proper trollied. In fact my niece's partner was surprised to see I didn't drink at Christmas. He had only met me at funerals!
We start everyday by committing to not drinking and when we wake up sober we've done a wonderful thing. We've given ourselves a taste of a new life. A peaceful life, a calm life and although I cannot promise you material riches you'll fee better about you.
Alcohol is a mask we wear until we know who really are or want to be.

I read Clare Pooley back to back! Although i found it a bit triggering as we are really struggling with money and that is leading to a lot of the issues. Although that’s no excuse it’s also a consequence. Facing it - is another thing entirely and trying to unpick the mess.

By way definitely not 50 days now. It was then 12 and… now it’s 2. Here i start again.

Starting again is fine!

I'm having one of those days where my colleague is really stressing me out. Usually would have me reaching for the wine. I'm going to avoid. And have an extra firey ginger beer with lime instead this eve...I will not drink today. That will put me on day 4

Feel terrible - palpitations and don’t want to get out of bed. Child off sick so cannot call HMRC. Just want to hide

Congratulations on the successful op, @WendyWagon. Does 'first op' mean there will be another?