The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Morning. 46 days completed.
Emotions galore popping up like popcorn in a pan. Jumping about, so much to manage.
Meditation is potentially a great help here and journaling. This is where I get really envious of people ‘skipping’ through life without a vast inner world. I want to get rid of my huge metaphorical rucksack of thoughts, emotions, trauma. Maybe one day…

Good to ‘see’ you @mumzof4x and congrats on 114 day. Good to see you too @Swanchaser

Morning beautiful sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

You lose weight one meal at a time, similarly, you become sober refusing each and every drink.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Such encouraging comments, I'll be checking in tonight! I've now finished reading Alcohol Explained, and it makes so much sense! Onwards and upwards x

@Kindtomyself,oh I agree about @WendyWagon, I see Diana Doors in posh pj's, perfect hair and skin, dressing immaculately, glamorous and adored. Hope that's okay with you @WendyWagon.

Dennis Quaid - Addiction’s 3 stages.

Stage 1: It’s fun
The good times. The highs. The escape.

Stage 2: Fun with problems
Enjoyable, but consequences start.

Stage 3: Its a problem.
Using to feel normal.
Life becomes unmanageable.

We become unmanageable.

The trap..We think we’re still in stage 1.

When we’re deep in stage 3.

@Kindtomyself oh being able to drop that rucksack of emotions would be amazing. Very much relate to the popping of different emotions and wish I could just be in the moment a bit more.

I just love your daily posts @mermadeincornwall they are so hopefully and affirming.

I'm keeping on the straight and narrow. @Swanchaser dust your self off and get straight back on. I've fallen so.many.times... learn your triggers and keep posting you can get this new sober life x

Good morning,. @mermadeincornwall How funny, Diana Dors was a friend of my mother's!
Her father and my granddad were friends. I think my mum liked the lifts in the Rolls Royce.

I do usually look a certain way but at the moment I'm channelling Waynetta Slob!
I have very pretty pj's but I'm saving them for the next op.
I got a fabulous old school anaesthetist last time who was like something out of an Ealing comedy. He's response on meeting me was 'I say'. . There's life in the old girl yet😊

@Swanchaser its hard this sobriety lark. I use to fall a fair bit, hence the name. It will get easier.
Get a nutrious breakfast down you and plenty of water.

I'm eating more folks and can't do any more chicken ding.

I joined here in January but then slipped and didn’t no what the protocol was about coming on here if not succeeding.

Making another determined start now, and I have subscribed to Reframe, which seems very good. I’ll probably not post much bc I’m also trying to reduce my screen time - I’ve realised that’s another way I numb out and block emotions. But I’ll lurk a bit. Or maybe post when / if I get cravings.

Step by step… And yes, thank you!

@LittleGlowingOblong welcome back.
Every one is welcome here who is trying to find sobriety.

We're just not a moderation thread (as in I'm sober Monday to Thursday but trying to cut down weekends). That can be triggering. As could discussing what the drinks consumed were. I've read about posters specific consumption and I among others hide for a bit.
Best to leap back on board and say bu**er I cocked up last night. Most of us have been there.

I had a big discussion with the DH last night. My birthday gift subscription keeps arriving from my friend. The DH thinks she's trying to sabotage me (she has form). I'm just shoving it in the cupboard for my big party at the end of the year.
Free guest booze. I'm OK with it.

Good morning lovely shipmates.

Glad to see you here @Swanchaser and @LittleGlowingOblong. There's nothing to berate yourself for (though I know it probably doesn't feel like that). Slips happen. They often catch us when we're least expecting it. As @WendyWagon says, most of us have been there. I certainly have, more than once. And I hated myself every time. Bl~~dy drink and it's insidious grip.

But you're strong, you're pushing back on it and marching forwards. Keep your heads held high - you've got every right to keep marching and be proud of yourself for owning it and pulling away again.

@newme2025 - I was thinking "safe and sober" last night when I was getting to bed. The Wine Witch was calling and I used that mantra to shut her down. They are good watchwords.

Strength and love. We can do this. ❤️ x

I too am liking the sober and safe, which I am tonight

So good to read all yesterday's messages. I broke my routine and didn't stop at the local shop last night. Went to bed early (after eating a load of junk instead!) A very restless night but feeling positive with no hangover and regrets this morning 😊

Morning shops company.
I will not drink today.

I'm so grateful to be off the merry-go-round.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning. 47 days completed.
Feeling really tired today. I wanted to sleep forever.

Happy to be sober, grateful for where I am. Some interesting coincidences and experiences are happening in my life.

@WendyWagon I say...do you know if Diana Dors' son found the lost money ?

@LittleGlowingOblong and @Swanchaser please keeping trying, your future self will be so grateful you stuck it out till it stuck.

I think 'Safe and Sober ' should be our new motto, thanks @newme2025.

Morning all.

I'm venturing out to see my husbands family today, he's driving. The DS is not happy. I'm supposed to be in bed but I've been here for 17 days and that's enough.

Friday was a difficult day for me. 5pm and yeay hay but I now just chalk it up and wait for that clear Saturday morning. No hangover, no shame and the whole day to watch Netflix! When I'm better I might seek out a Saturday activity to look forward to.

I realised something that's probably very obvious to others. One of my triggers (God there's loads...) is things that make me feel crap, but more specifically that trigger my low self esteem. Of course I drink, blot out that shit feeling and of course maintain or worsen my low self esteem by making myself feel shit and ashamed.

I just hadn't noticed how it keeps me its that shitty place, not just blots things out for a night, makes me feel shit and does me harm!

Anyway, love reading even if I don't always post. Here for safe, calm weekends x

Yes absolutely @Womanshour I totally get that. That’s one (of many) of my triggers. Would drink to ‘cheer myself up, make myself feel better’ when I think about it it completely makes sense. It’s me trying to soothe myself because I hadn’t learned any alternative

@Kindtomyself soothing (or really just sedating) but it's part of maintaining us feeling ashamed about ourselves isn't it? I think that's what I've just realised, it doesn't just make us feel shit and hungover but it keeps my self esteem low, never giving me space to build it up.

I use to come home and drink my posh wine so I felt a bit better. I knew my wine and after a week of toxic colleagues or bitchy school gate mums I thought I'd numb the feeling of not being wanted.

However the price I paid was too high. Ill health and poor boundaries were the result.

@Womanshour yes exactly, I have realised the same - keeps us in the low self esteem box. When I have these aha moments I realise how much alcohol really does lie to us

I’m new here but have read all of the posts on this thread and the ones before... mustering the courage to write!

My drinking has slowly crept up, relationship stress, kids, running my own business… I’m 37 and otherwise very fit and healthy, but some weeks I’m drinking 50 units, some weeks 20. But always over the recommended amount, for about 2 years now.

I decided to get an at home liver check test and it showed the AST levels were raised. But not ALT… I’ve googled this, which shows it’s not necessarily that bad, but I am spiralling! Ive booked an ultrasound for Monday (private) as I’m so worried and am just about to book in with the GP.

Has anyone got any positive stories of excessive drinking at a (relatively) young age and being ok?!

I have decided this scare is what I needed, and I’ll be cutting right back, and potentially stopping now as I have 3 children who I adore and are far more important than this! But thought the accountability here is exactly what I need.

Welcome @nachoaverageusername.

The thing to remember with getting negative test results (ie ones that show you are ok) is that they are a snapshot, and the temptation is to see them as a green light to carry on. Ask me how I know?

You're right about your children being important. Having them grow up with a mum who is present and available for them is such a gift (to you and to them). Even if you had a cast-iron guarantee that your drinking would never harm you, it's worth giving up to achieve that gift.

A fibroscan is the gold standard test for liver damage - well, a biopsy is even better, but very invasive and not without risks - so you might want to get a fibroscan, too. The difference between a fibroscan and an US is that with a fibroscan you are given a 'score' showing the amount of fat and stiffness of the liver. An US is a lot more vague.

Keep posting - these threads are good at creating a sense of community and a reason to keep on keeping on.

Thanks for your reply, I completely agree that I don’t want to use this, even if the scan goes well, to keep drinking! I will keep posting in here as I really need support. I want to book in with Gp as well to get more thorough tests done, I want to take responsibility now.

Far too embarrassed to ask anyone in real life, I look like I have the perfect life 😔 I run loads, do triathlons, I really don’t think people suspect I drink too much! So would be mortified if they knew.

They might not suspect, but I doubt people would be mortified. It's depressingly common.

I know what you mean though. I don't talk about it in 'real life'. People will have known - I live in a small town and people know everything. But when I stopped I said it was because I was trying to regulate sleep and then realised I didn't miss it. I'm a private person and it's nobody's business but mine, and if that's how you feel, there is no need to do anything publicly - it's surprising how few people care (or even notice) when someone else isn't drinking, so just do your own thing. I have new friends now, who have never seen me drink, and I prefer it that way.