The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Sleep can take ages to regulate. I know it doesn't feel like it, but even if you don't get a lot of sleep, what you do get will be much better quality than you've been used to, so try not to worry to much.

I swear by making being in bed as pleasant as you can. Maybe new bedding, pyjamas, a waterless diffuser to make the room smell lovely (NEOM and other brands do oil blends specifically for sleep, as do Nikura, which are very good and cheaper than NEOM). A fan for when it's hot, a tv or radio or something you can listen to - anything you can think of to make you look forward to bedtime. I find a scented bath before going to bed is helpful - as much for the ritual as anything, and the association of the smell with sleep, or at least with rest.

I found lots of easy to watch tv programmes - Downton Abbey and Stella spring to mind, but anything that doesn't need your full attention but is entertaining enough to take your mind off any worries will fill the time before you get tired. I also used sleep headphones through which I played hypnosis tracks, some for alcohol and others for sleep. Alternatively you could read or listen to music or audiobooks.

All of that took away some of the stress of lying there awake. It's a lot easier if you don't have to be up early for work so it doesn't matter if you don't get to sleep for hours, but even if you do have to be up with the larks it can be less stressful if you are at least enjoying being in bed. Just having a made bed and pretty pyjamas is a million times nicer than falling onto a tangled duvet in an old tee shirt and passing out.

Morning all.
Knackered from a big drive yesterday.
Very excited to be seeing a victorian farmhouse today. Not usually my style as I like beams but it has a gorgeous garden and a prestigious spot. I imagine the two big 'mac mansions' close by were built on the original farmland. I don't mind a village as long as I don't have to have close neighbours. Our son has warned us off another abode as it's near the motorway. He says it will be tricky to sell. He's right of course but it's seriously pretty. As the garden is gorgeous I saw myself wafting around in straw hat!
We'll see what the day brings.
Strength and sobriety.

Ahoy inspirational shipmates.
I will not drink today.

Driven past Dorchester Prison this morning. The phrase 'consequences of your actions ' comes to mind. Makes me think about how grateful I am to live in a world where crime isn't even an option. I don't even have to nerve to take a book from the charity bookcase in the supermarket without donating money.

Sending strength and motivation to keep going.

Thanks. I wine-dozed through many an episode of DA, so I’ll start with that!

Afternoon shipmates, the farmhouse was a 9 out of 10 and the first time in my purchasing life I think it's worth the asking price.
Chicken patch too!

Sounds fabulous @WendyWagon - in time for AF eggnog at Christmas...?!

Strength and courage as we head into the weekend, my brave and wonderful shipmates. xx

Ahoy beautiful ladies sailing sunny seas.
I will not drink today.

Happy summer solstice 🌞🏟(emoji of stonehenge?)
The world will keep turning causing the seasons to keep changing. Appreciating this life in all it's glory is so much more wonderfull being af.

Sending peace and serenity.
Throw love everywhere 🧜‍♀️

Morning all. I wanted to clean the house yesterday evening because I have a busy weekend ahead but only managed the kitchen due to a mix of heat headache, taxiing kids, making food etc etc so I just got up at 6 this morning and did some more cleaning before parkrun.

I am all pleased with myself for feeling sprightly enough for it all (it certainly wouldn’t have happened if I’d been drinking last night).

Have a good day all

Hooray! Yesterday I reached Day 50, so I'm halfway to 100 now. It seemed impossible at the start and yet it's whizzed by. Spent yesterday evening in the pub, had one glass of soda and lime, and one tonic water. Didn't miss the beer at all. House sounds wonderful @WendyWagon - good luck!

Good morning shipmates.
I've been up for hours and have watered the garden. The dog played jump the hose!
I'm very excited re the farmhouse. I've planned the decor.

Congratulations of 50 days @LillyPJ, that's absolutely brilliant!

Sid and I are not enjoying the heat. No cricket today as it would be too much for Sid.

Exciting about the farmhouse @WendyWagon - keeping everything crossed.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

@Crunchymum just wanted to say congrats and thanks for what you said! The first few months were rubbish for me, too. It’s when you don’t feel a tangible difference/improvement or the onset of new problems and issues that can make things harder. It can feel like an ever present wall.

whoever posted the Claire pooley quotation about it taking 100 days to see it and 6 months to feel it was dead on. I have found things a lot better the last couple of weeks - I’m 5.5 months in. I feel - literary refs for @REP22 - less Alexandre Manet peering through the darkness muttering “recall to life” and more Emma finally realising all the wonders of Mr Knightly ;-)

Well done @LillyPJ!

Good luck @WendyWagon on house hunting. I am kissing goodbye to the country fairly soon. I’m a town mouse to the core. I can’t wait.

Morning all.

I had a bad night yesterday. I'd come out in a rash on my leg. I thought I was on my way out!
Luckily it's gone down this morning so I must have been bitten during my early garden water.

@SmellyMe @LillyPJ congrats on your milestones. If you can stay sober when all around are on the pimms you are stronger than you think.

Thank you for all good wishes on the farmhouse. I think I've found a home. Very different from my previous 17 abodes.

Morning all. Thank you for these posts and taylorean also the posts about 100 days. Well done everyone at 50, well done lilypj when you started I’d started too - but I am STILL going back to the beginning of the obstacle course every now and then. It’s really stupid as I then have all the feeling I’ll, shame, another 3 days of cravings to get through blurgh.
how do I get it into my thick head, that just NO. I’ve cut down a lot but I still want to just NO.
I see some people are trying to get cancer warnings on booze labels. Never understood why they didn’t. I need to reframe wine in my head from the advertising view to vinegar with a cancer warning, like fags, and I gave them up years ago.
well done everyone.
oh, I am not so awful, DH drank 2 bottles! Last night, a MASSIVE amount for him and is now feeling dreadful. I think he needs a holiday. I drank water. Yay!
IWNDWYT.

Oh, the point of the post was thank you for the routine thing - that’s EXACTLY what happens. I need dinner cooked, ideally prepped early, so I’m not running late, tired and ratty with FIL. He cannot enter a room without a massive sigh, at which point I’m supposed to ask what’s wrong. I now grit my teeth and ignore, but gah!
realising the older folk I like are twinkly eyed, with a sense of fun and interest in other people. FIL is ok, but only ever seems to talk about himself. Then says,’what can I do? I can help..if I don’t fall over first’ sorry, derail, but AGHHH.
then, of course, I think a calming glass of cancer inducing ethanol will help.
have discovered pastels, will go scribble furiously instead!

Sorry for the ramble! I can’t complain to anyone in rl.

Morning wonderful sober ships company on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going ( from this months Slimming World magazine). I'm going to apply that to loosing weight and staying af.

Sending peace and calmness while the world is in turmoil.

Dear sober chums I will need one of our number to take over in a week or so, any volunteers?
Only qualification is genuine sobriety and a quick welcome to new members when they hop on the thread.
I'm sure everyone needs a rest from my rambles.

Nooooo! We will miss your updates! Looking forward to the farmhouse tales xxx

@Healthynow Keep on trying! I think you just have to hit the right circumstances at the right time, and that's just luck. It took me years to admit that my drinking was getting out of hand and even then it never seemed like the right time to have a dry day. Even if there'd been cancer warnings on the bottle, I'd have ignored them. I do feel like I've got a new routine now and I find it hard to remember why I was so obsessed with alcohol. Life seems absolutely fine (and much cheaper!) without it.

Evening all.
Hope everyone has had a kind and soberful day x
Ashamed to say I relapsed. I
thought I could moderate but clearly cannot and I don’t want to. It takes up too much headspace. It’s kinda hard coming back on here when I was so proud to be 5 months AF at my first real shot at this. I’m coming back for some hand holding and some accountability if that’s okay please?
One day at a time. I know I can do this and I know it will be worth it because I found peace once before and it really is better.
Ive decided to reset my clock to Day 1 and thought I might start with good old Annie G.
Sending love and kindness to all and thanks for having me back x

Hi @mumzof4x - come on in, we’ve got you. Well done for coming back.

@mumzof4x oh lovely I'm sorry. It can take many attempts to become dry. It's a learning point. You have not wasted anything by testing your point of dependency. We become stronger.
If it helps I only did eight weeks before 2022. It was sheer determination to prove a point that propelled me on. I'd gone non contact with my sister and recently been subject to a sham redundancy by a co director who was slightly senior to me. I didn't want either party to say I was a drunk.
You're very welcome back here.

@mumzof4x Welcome back. If you got to 5 months, you've already proved you can do it. And now you know that moderating is really hard - I think it's much harder than giving up completely because alcohol is sneaky and quickly lures you in again. Better luck this time!

Thank you so much @LillyPJ @Onewildandpreciouslife and @WendyWagonxx