The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Morning lovely ladies on the voyage of a lifetime.
I will not drink today.

I love not being a slave to an addiction anymore.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning all. Still sober
have a good day all
x

Good morning! Lovely blue sky's! Greatful to wake up not hungover, not anxious, or trying to pretend my head isn't banging.

Morning everyone! Loving the sunshine. My 2nd sober Friday evening - felt a bit bored so early bed. Woke up with a headache though which feels unfair! Mother’s Day tomorrow - Hubbie has booked a pub lunch but not sure I want to go as too much of a temptation. I will stay strong :)

Ahoy my sober sisters.
All well on deck.
A bit late due to some huge journeys yesterday. I thought I was on short jaunt but got stuck on the M5. Ditto coming back on an A road that was closing. We had to break out the emergency galaxy.
Nice to see family.

My liver returned to normal levels within about six weeks of stopping drinking (I have readings due to my RA drugs) And recent scans have shown all OK.
I've never smoked though so that helps.

A quiet day awaits.
Stay strong my friends. Summer is just around the corner.

Last night I went out with pals. We all initially had a great time, me on cokes and mock tails them on a couple of glasses of wine. And of course we got on to why, like them, I didn’t have “just a glass or two”. I let rip! I explained that I wouldn’t even bother going out for two glasses - two glasses did nothing for me. I don’t drink for my tastebuds - I drink to get loaded. I needed a botttle at least. They were shocked as they’d never realised I preloaded before meeting them in the past and continued once I returned home after meeting them. Although surprised (I was never a fall down drunk) they became very supportive and apologetic for asking me to drink. I came home feeling great having told someone at last my reasons. Until now (50 days) I’d locked it up inside apart from here. Now I know I’ve got supportive friends and not just drinking buddies! So try “opening up”, it could help in this tricky but rewarding journey.

@Slackfoxy those who care about you will help and support.
Great your friends stepped up.
It was such a relief for me.

It does piss me off when people change the subject around drinking. Pushing it under the rug doesn't help. If someone asks me, I tell them.

@Slackfoxy that's so incredible. Good for you for being so honest, I'm so pleased it payed off x

I prefer it under the rug. I don't feel the need to confess to others - it's difficult enough living with it myself. My family knows I've given up, and why (although even they don't know about my initial diagnosis), but to the world at large I just decided not to drink when I realised how little I missed it after stopping to improve my sleeping and generally feeling grin. They may or may not be fooled by that - I don't know and I don't care.

Like so much about this it's horses for courses.

@ShyMaryEllen what I mean about pushing it under the rug is the people who ask why I'm not drinking and then don't really want you to answer. It shines a light on their own issues with alcohol. The big drinkers are the ones that want an argument about how it's not really that bad for you etc.
Other than that I'm use to not saying anything.

Yes, I know what you mean. I never had an argument, but I did lose a couple of 'friends' when I stopped. One used me as an excuse for her drinking. It annoyed me even then - she'd convinced herself that she was a social drinker, when she was a regular binger, and would tell people she'd been out with MaryEllen and you know what she's like. She had an affair and I found out later that she'd been saying she had to stay with me as I'd had a lot to drink as an excuse for seeing the man. Not on. She could please herself about her love life - none of my business - but it wasn't fair to further besmirch my reputation to do it.

I thought the other was a close friend, but when she realised I was serious about giving up she ghosted me. That hurt, as I deliberately carried on going out with her to the places we used to go, so she didn't have to change her life just because I had. Clearly we weren't as close as I thought.

Other than those two, nobody else seemed to notice, although that may well be self-delusion. Again, I carried on regardless and went out as before, but had soft drinks. I also made new friends - many of whom had never seen me drink, and they didn't seem to notice either. There is always a driver and someone who doesn't drink for whatever reason, and as you say - it's only the drinkers with concerns of their own who ever care, as it shines a light.

Interesting posts.

Thinking about that circular loop where I drink to self soothe, and then the alcohol in my system leads to hangxiety, cue a further desire to self soothe / numb out, disguised as a craving, and cunningly wrapped up in me just telling myself it’s nothing more than yielding to a passing fancy.

Son is on a sleepover tonight, alone in the house and feeling antsy, 22 minutes to go until the supermarkets close the booze aisle!

Once I get to 2 weeks I normally feel better, today is just day 4. Isn’t it amazing how few days you can go alcohol free before you start congratulating yourself that your issue with alcohol can’t be that bad?!

Clocks going forward is a good excuse just to hit the sack and sleep away the cravings, night all.

Sorry @WendyWagon i have no idea why I QT’d that, completely accidental!

Evening. Late check in for Day 48. All good. #safensober. Sweet dreams

update: I spent this evening sewing on scouts badges. No way could I have operated needle and thread under the influence! Committing to writing this positive reward for sobriety. Listened to Tara Mohr’s Playing Big audio book while sewing - a night of personal edification! 😇😉

Morning beautiful sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

I'm not drinking, therefore I'm not worried about people realising I'm drunk.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sobe,@newme2025

Ahoy and good morning.
It's really cold here. I'm in my heated hoodie.

I had a funny dream about sloe gin having watched it on the telly box. As I don't like the stuff all is well.

I've cricked my neck again so I'll be on the deep heat. I'm a delicate flower these days.
Have a safe and sober day my friends.

Morning Day 49 completed. Aching and tired from exercise.
@mermadeincornwall ’not drinking therefore not worried about people realising I’m drunk’ love that.

I’ve had a couple of really lovely days and feel like I have taken steps into my new life. I have spent time dreaming about how I would like my life to look and I’m seeing glimpses.

Sending strength to all those who mothers day is hard for x

Today I have had family over. I live alone, so they have no idea about my issues with alcohol. Had a lovely day with the grandchildren here, but normally my first action once they've left would be to open a bottle of wine. Not tonight, I've overcome the cravings and I'm safe and sober! Hope everyone here is good x

Yesterday was a week done. Early days but pleased

Morning beautiful shipmates on a beautiful spring day.
I will not drink today.

I'm mindful to keep topping up my toolkit (with baths, meditation and gratitude diary) to help me when I need it ( cravings and anxiety).

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Morning. 50 days completed.
All is good.

I had a corporate event over the weekend, lots of people taking advantage of the free bar, no one drunk though. I noticed many people not drinking,and I didn't see anyone looking at my glass of water. I think society is changing🤞.

Welcome @nachoaverageusername, good for you deciding to join us.

I've written down your post @Kindtomyself and put it on my windowsill, the bit about lovey day that is,not my post about not being drunk.

How lovely @mermadeincornwall glad it spoke to you.
Do you think that normally there would be people not drinking at the event but you wouldn’t have noticed? Just wondering because I recently had about 15 women round my house (something I had arranged before I had stopped drinking and decided to go ahead with). I didn’t tell anyone I wasn’t drinking - wasn’t ready to - and just drank AF beer. No one noticed or at least commented.
I was very surprised - no one was noticeably drunk either - that’s my job