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Original poster

Yellow eyes and skin

132 replies

Bunny2607 · 14/02/2025 19:17

Evening all
i’m posting to see if anyone has experience with what might happen next here please.
i share a son with my ex and he goes to see ex once a week overnight. I called round to ex’s house earlier to drop some things off for my son and his eyes and skin were yellow, he was glowing. I said to him you need to get checked out but he said its just because he is tired.
he does have an alcohol problem although wont admit it. It was the reason i left him when son was little. He just can’t leave it alone. He was in hospital approx 4yrs ago with pancreatitis and was told then by the doctors never to drink again but he hasn’t listened.
so now today has come and he is yellow, he said he’s been like it a couple of days. I’ve urged him to get checked out and said it could be his liver or pancreas, and sent a screenshot from the nhs website saying to seek urgent medical attention if you have yellow eyes but he said he will see how he is in a few days.
my question is, I’m assuming he is yellow because of how much he drinks but what is his body doing? If he sought medical attention what is the answer to fix the jaundice is it medication or antibiotics? If he doesn’t seek medical attention how serious is it? I know nobody can diagnose over the internet and i will keep telling him to get medical attention but i’m also trying to work out what might happen to prepare myself with my son as well. Before when he had pancreatitis he was in hospital a month so if this happens again i obviously need to manage my son who has autism and is used to seeing his dad every week. Obviously i am concerned for his dad but also trying to plan for my son.
thanks in advance x

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 14/02/2025 19:22

If he is jaundiced and still drinking but not seeking medical attention he is at a really high risk of becoming hospitalised and I would not want my son to be in his care until it was resolved because I don't think it's fair to put a child in a situation where his dad becomes medically dire in his presence.

He sounds very unwell and he really needs to be seen by a doctor.

delvar · 14/02/2025 19:23

If he doesn't want medical attention you can't force him. Not much you can do really.

Sounds like liver disease to me, which can be serious if untreated. All I can advise for your own information is to look up chronic liver disease and at least inform yourself. Jaundice is one of the symptoms of liver disease but there are many others too, it isn't always that on its own.

Liver disease or cirrhosis can be very dangerous, but often if the person quits alcohol things can improve greatly, depending on the stage at diagnosis.

Miloarmadillo2 · 14/02/2025 19:34

If he’s visibly yellow then he has fairly severe jaundice and he’s probably in liver failure (it can also be caused by rapidly breaking down red cells or a blockage in the bile system - both equally bad and all causing a pigment called bilirubin to build up in his blood and tissues ) I guess he’s entitled to make his own decisions about seeking treatment or not but I suspect it will end badly and that he is in dire straits already. I would not leave your son in his care, he’s not fit to look after him.

Drkarev · 14/02/2025 19:40

Please don’t leave your little boy with an alcoholic

Hazel665 · 14/02/2025 19:43

Is his tummy swollen? Is he bruising easily? These are other symptoms of liver failure.

ThreeMagicNumber · 14/02/2025 19:45

What age is your son? I don't think id have left him there. It could be a sign of advanced liver disease and he needs to be seen urgently. Its not just going to get better. Does he have parents or siblings you could call to let them know how concerned you are?

MadeForThis · 14/02/2025 19:54

I wouldn't leave my son with him.
Losing visitation might even prompt him to see a doctor.

Endofyear · 14/02/2025 20:16

If he is yellow, I'd say it's a safe bet that he's in liver failure. If he keeps drinking it will be very serious indeed. Please don't leave your child alone with him. He is not fit to be looking after a child. He needs to see the doctor who will probably want to send him to hospital. Unfortunately, if he refuses, there's nothing they can really do if he's deemed to have mental capacity.

Original poster
Bunny2607 · 14/02/2025 21:02

Thanks everyone for your replies. My son is almost 10 but i will be getting him back early in the morning (he should be there til tomorrow night) and have already decided ex won’t be seeing him unsupervised until he has sought medical attention. I left when my son was 2years old due to the drinking.
my sons stepmum is there and she is responsible so i don’t feel my son is in danger tonight but obviously i will be changing access going forward as things have changed. i just have to do it in the right way to minimise disruption for my son as he has autism and processes things differently.

he does have parents, i’m not on the best terms with them but could call them. Ex is an only child but is married and his wife had also apparently told him to get seen. If it was me with my husband i wouldn’t be taking no for an answer and would take him to a&e.

so i suspect from what people are saying if he doesn’t seek medical attention shortly the decision will be made for him in that he will get so poorly he is hospitalised and then who knows what will happen, i’m not sure if its immediately life threatening? Thanks again everyone x

OP posts:
Cunningfungus · 14/02/2025 22:25

There are non-alcohol related causes of jaundice (viral hepatitis, autoimmune diseases, liver cancer) but given his history, it is most likely liver failure and fairly late stage at that.

There is a good chance he has cirrhosis which is irreversible and if he keeps drinking he is likely to become extremely unwell and his life expectancy will be short -maybe months, possibly less.

If he is able to stop drinking, cirrhosis can be managed. He may need a medical detox - going cold turkey can induce serious withdrawal symptoms including DTs and seizures.

I’m sorry to say he is in a very bad way if it is late stage alcoholic liver disease. I think you need to be hoping for the best but planning for the worst as far as your DC goes 💐

Firealarm1414 · 15/02/2025 18:16

Yellow skin and eyes is end stage liver disease. He needs immediate medical attention. Hopefully this has happened and you have removed your child from a situation where he may see his parent have a medical emergency or die

queenie2025 · 16/02/2025 01:42

I think jaundice can indicate liver issues. I hope he gets it checked.

Bigbus · 16/02/2025 02:43

He needs to go to the hospital as soon as possible. He sounds like his liver is failing and it’s really serious. Are you on good terms with his wife? Would you be able to talk to her about it? He needs to be seen asap.

ApolloandDaphne · 16/02/2025 05:10

He needs medical attention but he is obviously in denial if isn't listening to you or his wife. It probably won't end well if he doesn't get help soon.

Original poster
Bunny2607 · 21/02/2025 13:00

Hi all,
just an update. My son hasn’t seen his dad all week, his dad has finally been to the GP this morning and has jaundice which we already knew. He is being referred to hospital this afternoon so not sure what will happen next. I’m so annoyed with him for doing this to himself and i am left with our son picking up the pieces

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 22/02/2025 07:51

Hopefully he can be treated but I guess he might just continue drinking.

Original poster
Bunny2607 · 22/02/2025 12:07

ApolloandDaphne · 22/02/2025 07:51

Hopefully he can be treated but I guess he might just continue drinking.

Yes this is the worry. He told me yesterday he had been teetotal for a week which i get is a massive deal for someone with a drink problem. But its what will happen going forward, its like when you start a diet you’re full of motivation the first couple of weeks but where will he be in three months.
they have admitted him anyway and he is in over the weekend as minimum. The difficulty i have is he isn’t being straight with me, i asked him last night if he knew how they were treating the Jaundice and he said he was just leaving them to it. I just want to
know how severe it all is so i can try work out whats going to happen 😔

OP posts:
MoonWoman69 · 22/02/2025 12:15

I'm so so sorry to be blunt here, but when it gets to this stage, it's liver failure. He needs to get into detox to stop drinking now.
I worked in a detox for a year as a secondment to my job in mental health. One of the clients I was assigned, at 28 years old, suddenly went yellow in a couple of days, eyes and skin both glowing. He went to the doctors, but it was too late at that point.
I turned up to his flat for our next appointment as planned and they were carrying out his body. It was so sad and such a shock. 💐

Original poster
Bunny2607 · 22/02/2025 14:19

MoonWoman69 · 22/02/2025 12:15

I'm so so sorry to be blunt here, but when it gets to this stage, it's liver failure. He needs to get into detox to stop drinking now.
I worked in a detox for a year as a secondment to my job in mental health. One of the clients I was assigned, at 28 years old, suddenly went yellow in a couple of days, eyes and skin both glowing. He went to the doctors, but it was too late at that point.
I turned up to his flat for our next appointment as planned and they were carrying out his body. It was so sad and such a shock. 💐

how sad, that’s no age is it 😓. My sons dad is only in his 40s, i’m going through different emotions of being anxious, angry, sad. I just wish i was a doctor so i understood better, im in the legal profession so picked the wrong career!
i appreciate you being blunt, i’d much rather have the facts. He was in hospital about 4 years ago with pancreatitis, he was told then never to drink again and also not to eat red meat (not sure why). I didn’t see him when that happened to know if he had jaundice but i don’t think he did. He did look very ill though when he came out of hospital. He lasted a few months without a drink, started off saying he would just have nice soft drinks, then it went to no alcohol beer, then shandy, then back to the real stuff! My gut instinct isn’t good here to be honest, obviously his body will already be compromised from the pancreatitis before but to have jaundice now sounds quite bleak. He has been like it about 10 days as well before he sought medical attention so i just hope it isn’t too late.
i appreciate everyone’s replies and if anyone else has any experiences to share i continue to be grateful to hear them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bunny2607 · 22/02/2025 14:20

MoonWoman69 · 22/02/2025 12:15

I'm so so sorry to be blunt here, but when it gets to this stage, it's liver failure. He needs to get into detox to stop drinking now.
I worked in a detox for a year as a secondment to my job in mental health. One of the clients I was assigned, at 28 years old, suddenly went yellow in a couple of days, eyes and skin both glowing. He went to the doctors, but it was too late at that point.
I turned up to his flat for our next appointment as planned and they were carrying out his body. It was so sad and such a shock. 💐

Sorry @MoonWoman69 i forgot to ask, do you know how jaundice is treated? Is it a case of stopping drinking makes it go away or is it medications?

OP posts:
MoonWoman69 · 22/02/2025 18:01

I think that's why it was such a shock. Nobody expects someone to go at that age. They said at the time that he should give up drinking as soon as, but obviously stopping immediately and cold turkey is dangerous. He refused a place at detox and basically accepted his fate.
I'm no doctor, but I think your ex should be in hospital at the very least. They can treat him there on various medications. The liver can repair itself, but there comes a point where it won't. It needs to happen sooner rather than later.
I can imagine all your emotions and how hard it is for you to see. Alcohol is an addiction, much like drugs and cigs. It's easy to think you'll be able to give up, harder to do.
He was clearly making promises he couldn't keep. It's the usual "I've done really well getting it under control, so one won't harm" then before they know it, they're in the grip again.
I think to have any chance, he needs to accept he needs help fast 💐

PoopingAllTheWay2 · 22/02/2025 18:09

Sadly, with the history, it is more than likely to do with drinking and when it is potentially at that stage, just stopping drinking may not be enough

BUT

I had jaundice once, was VERY yellow, and the whites of my eyes, pure yellow
I had glandular fever.
Was poorly for about 12 weeks but recovered fine in the end

Original poster
Bunny2607 · 22/02/2025 18:11

Thank you @MoonWoman69 he is in hospital now was admitted yesterday and been told he will be in for the weekend at least. Just wish i knew what was going on, getting no information from my ex or his wife 😤

OP posts:
MoonWoman69 · 22/02/2025 20:41

That's good to know, he's in the best place.
It's a shame when you share a child, that you're not considered when it comes to information! This sort of thing astounds me.
Hopefully now he'll get the help he needs and a wake up call! Sending hugs 💐

RampantIvy · 23/02/2025 13:08

I'm sorry you and your DS are going through this @Bunny2607

I witnessed my SIL's late husband become an alcoholic then deteriorate over the years.

You might find this link useful

https://britishlivertrust.org.uk/information-and-support/liver-conditions/alcohol-related-liver-disease/