The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

https://www.theguardian.com/thefilter/2025/feb/04/best-low-alcohol-non-alcoholic-drinks

In case of interest!

@ponzusoup wow 9 months i hope you are proud! What an incredible achievement... and with so much happening. X

Well done, @ponzusoup! Nine months is amazing. I know you were worried about damage to your health, but I honestly think that if there were anything major you’d know by now, and anything minor may well have healed. I’m delighted for you, and hope you are suitably proud of yourself.

I know we all say this, but any newbies reading should know that however much you think this is too steep a hill to climb, it isn’t. We’ve all felt that at the start, but it gets easier every day, then days become weeks, then months and years. If we could do it, so can you.

In other news, I saw a cute picture of a cabin boy dog in his bunk which I screenshotted and kept to share with you all - especially Sid. Obviously I can’t do that just now, but I’ll keep it safe for when we can post pictures again.

Morning fabulous fellow sober shipmate sisters
I will not drink today
I want a better life
Love and kind thoughts to all

Loving all your wonderful inspiration posts,
I always seem to be catching up...
Please don't be so hard on yourself @Wintershealing , you no more of a disgrace than the rest of us, it's not easy. I think, from reading posts,that it's taken us many months, usually years to finally stop. With many of us caught in the ' I can moderate ' loop.
It took me a long time to build my determination to stop, with many falls overboard.
@FaithHopeCarnage and @SmellyMe had wonderful words of support, as does everyone on this thread.

Glad to hear your not in hospital @WendyWagon, even though it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Sending you a gold Yorkshire tea ☕.
How are you doing @Adsy1988?

Morning all.

I've worked out that one trigger is period pain - but resisted!

The Try Dry app says I've saved £120 and 6000 calories since 1st January, which is something! It's really good to see the numbers.

Day 8, feeling calm, happy and proud. Yesterday was a bit wobbly. Thanks @bloominoreilly I will read.

I’m doing good thanks @mermadeincornwall, I’ve had to throw myself into work this week as it is a busy window for my team, so that has been a welcome distraction. 15 days today, I hope in time I will be able to just stop counting, and cut down on the sugary treats my body has been craving. But for now my number one priority is to be sober and stay sober, so the diet can start in a couple of months time 😀

Hello shipmates, up from swabbing the decks to say a late hello.

I meant to say before - many congratulations on the 9 months lovely @ponzusoup - that's majestic. Really chuffed for you, I know how wretchedly hard it is.

I've got a home electrical inspection tomorrow am, which I'm not looking forward to. I don't like people being in the house. It's usually just me and Sid and I'm ashamed of my house. But I reminded myself that it is not as bad as in the pre-Sid days. Then, it was awful. Especially the bathroom. An addicted person's bathroom is rarely pleasant. I mean, it wasn't like that awful bog in Trainspotting, or the Bog of Eternal Stench in Labyrinth... but it wasn't very nice.

One of my first tasks on getting sober was making the bathroom nice and keeping it nice. Which took some doing. I have been struggling a little bit lately - work and life getting on top of me (M's UTI has not helped) and feeling sorry for myself. But I reminded myself that doing little things - tiny little things even - just to make the world a fraction better can help. So yesterday I did a tiny bit of tidying. This morning before work I sorted out the bird table. Last night I cleared the area where the inspector will visit tomorrow. It helped me to remember that, sometimes, doing something small can make you feel quite a lot better.

In my worst drinking days, it seemed too much even just to open the curtains and let the light in. So, if you are having a low day and finding the fight against the cravings miserable, please accept my especial love and understanding. 💐It honestly won't always feel this sh~t, I promise. Just open one curtain - you can do it. Believe me - that's a massive achievement. Celebrate that - and plan to do a little something else tomorrow to make the world around you a little bit better. It might help. ❤️

Sid always enjoys a tradesman, so he will welcome the inspector. Unfortunately, according to their text reminder, "all pets must be isolated" when the engineer calls. So I will sit in the car while Sid shows him his sockets.

Strength and love. xx

P.S. looking forward to seeing your picture @ShyMaryEllen - I shall prepare myself for Sid asking if that other lad knows of a Cabin Boys' Union that he can subscribe to... 😉x

Evening all,
I am cheering you all on from the sidelines, had a busy couple of days.
well done to all of you, wherever you are on the road.
Totally agree with you @REP22 , I hate tradespeople in my home, however lovely and friendly they are, really stresses me out. Hope the visit goes well.

We’ve got this. X

Well I escaped today and the DH wheeled me around the marks. I got the good stuff in.
I like some of the suggestions up thread for AF drinks. I will try a few.
My dear friend in London is going through a health scare. I heard today, I had to return the love. She's older than me but a lot more concerned about treatment effects. I think you can only do what you can do hence why I like the serenity prayer (best part of AA for me along with the quality street).
Keep going my sober sisters.

@REP22 that's lovely advice. You show such kindness to us all on here, I hope you show yourself some of that kindness. I know it's harder for ourselves than others, but you always seem to know the right thing to say.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

By the way I used to visit people at home, these perfect insta homes don't exist often I was relieved to find out (as mine certainly isn't a perfect insta home).

Day 31 x

One thing that never ceases to amaze me when I have stopped drinking for 7+ days is how wonderful my sleep pattern is. When I was drinking I could bet my life that I would wake up between 4am and 4:30am every single night, crippled with anxiety, unable to get back to sleep.

Now, at 16 days sober (still find it hard to believe that I have reached over two weeks, living on my own), I tend to go to bed at 11pm each night, and I’m asleep within minutes. Normally I am awake at just after 6am to get ready for the day ahead, refreshed and feel like I am capable of being productive in work.

The first 7 to 10 days were pretty hard, I really felt at times so desperate and sad, but with spring on the way too I keep thinking of all the nice things I have to look forward to in life this year.

I have joined a couple of AA online meetings since going to my first face to face one. It may not be for me but I’m willing to do literally anything necessary to continue to stay sober.

morning all.
That’s brilliant @Adsy1988. I think that if we don’t drink alcohol, we lose that 10 minutes of dopamine hitting our system, but we gain 24 hours of balance, peace and energy. It should be a no brainer, but I lived for many years with the thought of those 10 minutes being the thing that got me through the day. So grateful to be out of that now.

You’re doing brilliantly

And well done on 9 months @ponzusoup - awesome work 💪🏻

Morning crew
I will not drink today
Love and kind thoughts to all
We're in this together

@Onewildandpreciouslife That's so insightful. ❤️. My life has fewer artificial highs now but definitely fewer lows. That's a good trade in my opinion. I'm also finding much more joy in other things, like a lovely dog walk in the sunshine or reading a book in front of the fire. I'm finding peace too in the fact that alcohol is totally out of the decision making process now, I believe it's called cognitive dissonance, where your brain is torn between two conflicting desires.

Well done @ponzusoup. That's amazing. And congratulations to everyone else who has recently joined the thread and is wracking up their sober days. You won't regret your decision 🥰

Morning all

Good morning all. Thank you for your kind reassurance @Womanshour that made me feel better. 🙂 No sign of inspector yet...

Strength and love. Hope the day is good. xx

thanks everyone. am definitely feeling proud and more like my authentic honest self. alcohol is a sneaky chemical and it promotes sneaky behaviour and screws up our ability to see things clearly. like others have said my brain is now able to get that dopamine hit from a beautiful tree or a sunset which might sound naff but when i was drinking it was only really a drink that gave me a quick hit and the. pretty soon id need another one. so everything in between drinking was just a distraction. feel like i wasted so much time and effort but i got here in the end and we are all in the brilliant position of having made the decision to stop , which is the hardest but. power and compassion to you all, wonderful ladies x

Day 9. Morning everyone.

Moderation sucked! Even when I was keeping to reasonable limits I couldn't handle the guilt and anxiety - every time I had a headache I blamed myself. Now, I know a headache is down to something else.

Really happy to be as rested and calm as I am this morning.

Day 81 for me.

Great to read everyone's posts.

I am not finding it too difficult to abstain, but know I have a hen, wedding and holiday coming up which will test me to the limits!

I've never been a daily drinker, but if the opportunity arose (cinema/theatre/dog walk past a pub) id take it! If only I could stop at one. My problem has,always been the lack of control once I started to drink and my absolute inability to moderate.

I have to say that life is a lot easier not having even one, as I'm not constantly thinking about the next drink (whilst not having finished the one in my hand); I can jump in the car anytime, and know there is nothing in my system; I'm more available to the kids and hopefully a better example to them.

I think about alcohol now as a poison. I think about the times I was stumbling about, slurring my words, incapacitated, and I'm embarrassed that I would do that to myself. Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Anyway musings over! I hope everyone who is struggling finds the strength to keep going on this journey, I do believe we can only benefit from it.