The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning my wonderful sober friends sailing this amazing planet. I will not drink today.

I want this to be my new normal, I will keep going until it is.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning 33 days completed. I will drink more water today. The critical voice in my head has calmed, I hope it continues. I have more time on my hands which is really weird, I have always been so busy and now I am not! Although my exercise has reduced so
maybe that’s one thing that is taking up less time!

Glad you’re home @WendyWagon. Hope Sid is much improved @REP22 & that you’re ok? @FaithHopeCarnage I can imagine that’s a good way to set up your day- I would do the same if it wasn’t for the kids, I like to attend meetings when there’s no one around.

@Grassick

Welcome @Grassick, it's a good feeling to decide to go Af forever,like a weight has been lifted, hopefully it won't be too difficult for you, but we're here for support.

Launching lifeboats for anyone who needs to come aboard.

Thanks for the compliment for my morning posts @Kickbinit. I'm still reading quitlit,I did stop for a while as they were triggering me, but now I need them again.

Love your positive post @mumzof4x, well done on 100days, gold star for you. 🌟.

I'm off to m&s today to stock up on thier slimming meals. I know ready meals are not particularly healthy but I a couple of weeks worth won't do any harm and it will get me into a different frame of mind and eating routine.
I've had that strange empty flat feeling too,it's like I'm watching myself from afar. I'm positive it's my brain chemistry resetting, which I'm so pleased about. I want better mental health 🤞.

Have a good Friday evening everyone, jump on the wine witch if she comes acalling ,if I can get through Wednesdays you can do Fridays.

Hopefully you're on the mend @WendyWagon and cabin boy Sid.
Sending carpet cleaner and a new cardigan @REP22.

Morning all, today i feel a little different. Since January I've felt so resentful to not drink, a quiet voice always ends the sentence with not drinking... for now... with bargains being made for birthdays and holidays, summer days... we all know this would be too many days!

Its starting to settle. I'm starting to accept it, feeling a bit less angry about not being able to have the one (the joke is i don't even plan for one! I only want to drink till I shut my brain down!)

I know very well this is just for this moment and I'm sure at 5pm in 5 mins I'll by dreaming of wine. But it's a relief.

@mermadeincornwall the M and S meals sound great. Maybe the self care is not cooking and washing up? That's how I felt last Friday.

@WendyWagon I'm so pleased you're home. Hope you are recovering well.

@REP22 poor side (and your cardigan!) Hope he is on the mend!

Welcome @Grassick x

@mermadeincornwall I also love your daily posts! I log in just to read them - better than a counting app 😁.

Re weight and it not budging, I have heard this can happen. I know I am snacking more but keep telling myself it’s not booze so it’s better.

im feeling quite miserable actually. I hate my husband but also love him. I’ve been drinking for so many years to blot him out and get by for the kids. Now, I’m suddenly faced with what to do to get out of either this rut - ie have fundamental changes - or the marriage. My mind has never been clearer that there needs to be change, but I can’t get him on board. He is so dismissive. The laugh is, he suggested couples therapy but won’t concede there are problems (it’s just me). However, the main problems are straightforward and any therapist would say they are fundamental to address before we can move forward. We don’t need to pay someone to tell us these things.

my life is insanely busy, too. I wouldn’t have coped if I had been drinking. I’d have been taking days off sick, knackered. I have been feeling pangs for wine a lot and thinking oh why not?! I have resisted though. It’s been hard especially as husband has been away and that was my usual opportunity to get blotto without him whingeing at me!!

Hope Sid is better - that sounds ultra nasty for a dog to be so ill. X

Oh and welcome back @WendyWagon glad you’re on the mend.

@SmellyMe I'm sorry your feeling crap. I think you're right alcohol hides a lot of crap. That's sort of its purpose in my life!

I had therapy with a parent. It was a really difficult situation and felt stuck, and it was life changing. Yes a lot of money but I can only recommend from my perspective.

Morning all.

I so looked forward to my own bed last night and it was awful. I think it was a secruity thing. I felt a bit worried I was going to be unwell or split my stitches.

I've had crumpets and tea, hoorah.
It's freezing here.

@SmellyMe all our relationships are unique but it might be worth having some counselling on your own. I know my husband got fed up with my broken promises. It's your session and I found initially I tried to be diplomatic and minimise my behaviour. Later on I let it all out. It was the way forward. I needed to admit quite a bit to myself.

Good morning shipmates. Sunny but cold here too.

Welcome @Grassick - I am so glad you've found us. This is an amazing, safe place to be. Every member is a valued treasure and supportive in the best of ways. ❤️

Glad you're home safe @WendyWagon - I know what your mean about The Fear. When I was ill, I was always uneasy when first back from hospital. It will be alright. Hope the stitches aren't too annoying. 💐

Thank you so much for all your lovely good wishes for Sid - he and I really appreciate them, more than we can say. He is continuing to mend well. MUCH more chipper. Alas, he did have an attack of the skitters at 3.30am this morning and somehow managed to get some of it on his ear (don't ask). But all cleaned up now and shows much improvement. More plain chicken and rice for his supper tonight methinks. Cardigan is in the hot wash (not throwing it out - it beautifully covers all the unflattering bits and it's the one I wore when I made a tit of myself on Mastermind a few years ago🙄 ) and industrial-strength carpet cleaner (the kind that comes with sponge AND thick brush attached) has been procured from the local hardware shop. Marigolds ahoy - that will cheer my Saturday. But at least I shall be sober. I will take sober sh~t-scrubbing over nauseous booze-fog any day, and be grateful for it.

Strength and love to you. I know it's not easy at all. But it is worth the battle. You can win this. You are strong. You've made it this far. It will be alright. xx

Glad you’re home @WendyWagon , it takes a while to settle and feel safe again.
Love and hugs to all, you’re amazing.
I’ve been a bit poorly this week, horrible Fibromyalgia flare up, but doctor has put me on different meds, which are kicking in.

Going to read back the past few pages.
x

Good morning all. After a sober evening I have tossed and turned all night with strange dreams, but I know if I keep going this will settle eventually if I stay strong. Wishing you all a good weekend ☺️

Morning wonderful sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

I don't want to be drinking ,like I was last year next year. This year is my year of transition.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning. Day 34 completed.
I picked up my son from his friend’s at 11pm last night, it was easy. No feeling that I was missing out on my Friday night wine, no need to work out whether I could fit in a large wine at 6.

Welcome @Grassick (I attempted that in my last post).
Sleep will improve @SmellyMe, When I was having difficulty in my marriage, my DH didn’t want to engage in therapy so I went on my own, it really helped and eventually he came too - he just talked about himself and not about us and I ended up making the decision to split. I felt like I had so much more clarity by going through the process.

Morning all.
My sleep has got really bad over the last week or so, which is very irritating, not least because I’ve got a marathon in 6 weeks so I need all the recovery I can get! The penny dropped this morning that maybe it’s because I’m doing longer runs my sleep is shot?

Back on really vivid dreams as well- this week I dreamt I was drinking Chardonnay out of a plastic pint glass and DH was praising me for how slowly I was drinking it 🤣 FFS! I never think about alcohol when I’m awake!

I have a big milestone coming up - 3 years sober next week- so maybe it’s a touch of my milestone twitchiness too.

Hope you’re recovering ok @WendyWagon

Poor Sid @REP22 - it’s so miserable when our pets aren’t well (even without the extra cleaning up!)

It’s lovely to see the difference in your posts from when you first joined @Kindtomyself

Wow @Onewildandpreciouslife 3 years is amazing! Huge congratulations what an inspiration!

When I ran a marathon when doing longer runs I had horrid restless legs, magnesium stray really helped my legs and so my sleep. Good luck with the end of the training x

Sober weekend, feeling good x

Morning all!
So good to hear from you all. Welcome @Grassick .

Glad to hear you are safe and sound at home @WendyWagon . @SmellyMe I agree, we use alcohol to hide from things and when we let go of it, we are forced to face reality. It's tough

@Onewildandpreciouslife sorry to hear your sleep is poor. I do think it might have to do with your increased running volume and your sympathetic nervous system struggling. I am running a marathon in 7 weeks (abroad) and am also starting to ramp up on the miles and can definitely feel it.
I'm quite exited for London Marathon this year (even though I didn't get in - I never do) but a good friend from my home country is running it this year and I haven't seen him in years so I will be heading down on the Saturday to eat pasta and support him on the day.

Morning all.
Cornflakes eaten but I've returned to my bed.
The dog is on duty.

Good morning shipmates,

Thank you for the continuing good wishes for Sid. Nice to see you @Onewildandpreciouslife - but I'm sorry your sleeping is not so good. It's awful. The hours lying awake, especially as I used to do my drinking to send me to sleep. I usually have something benign on the iPlayer throughout the night to keep my mind from wandering. Back-to-back Saturday Kitchen or QI, usually. Although this is only possible as Sid is a tolerant bunkmate. I have similar dreams too, very vivid - clearly bizarre but with just enough reality in them to make me wonder if it WAS a dream for a few seconds before wakefulness kicks in. I have much admiration for you and @EastCoastDamsel and @Womanshour - contemplating marathons. I did the Race for Life years ago (I walked it and came over the line last with a lady in her 90s). The only time I'd run anywhere these days would be is something with MASSIVE teeth (or hooves) was chasing me.

Sorry your fibromyalgia is grim @Middlemarch123 - hope all will be well soon. Love to everyone not feeling terribly chipper at the moment. These things shall pass. 💐❤️

I draw enormous spirit and courage from reading posts from you who are walking this pebbly path beside us, and hearing your voices grow in strength and resolve. @mumzof4x , @mermadeincornwall , @Kindtomyself - sorry I can't namecheck you all, or I'd fill up the thread just by mentioning names - ALL of you - it's an honour and a privilege to walk beside you, and to read your words here. They all - to a one - inspire me to be a better person.

Sid has had another clear night, thank heavens. I have done the carpet, though it needs another going over later. The bottle said just to make a pinprick in the seal before applying the stuff. B~gger that. They haven't seen what I've seen. Five minutes alone with Sid's botty-boilings and they'd be ripping the seals off themselves with their teeth. I've used 1/3 of the bottle - but progress has been made. £11.99 for the stuff. Money well-spent. We have also topped-up the bird feeders, said hello to brand new neighbour moving in today (already a new Sidfan and recipient of Sidcuddles), set M off on an online safeguarding course she needs to do for her church (ah, the irony 🤐) and put the cardigan and it's soiled fellows into the wash. Shortly Sid and I are off to a farm shop and local woodland walk.

In times past, this day and hour would find me stupefied and in bed, curtains drawn, hungover and nauseous with Sid maintaining tolerant, patient silence beside me, with sh~te on Youtube and no prospect of realistic surfacing before Sunday. Possibly even still drinking. Sobriety is a prize to be cherished my friends. We've fought hard for it.

Here's Sid, sleepy but almost-fully mended, wishing you joy of your weekend.

Thank you for posting on here - your words keep me going, all of them.

Strength and courage. Stick to the fight - we're going to win this. It will be alright. x

Those carpet cleaner things are an excellent invention. I keep one in reserve for when we have visiting dogs. I will have such a situation this week, as daughter, bf and grandpuppy are here for a few days. Leaks, spillages and unmentionable accidents can be swiftly dealt with without hysteria, and they are up to all challenges. We only have carpet in the sitting room downstairs, and that is where grandpuppy prefers to register any disapproval if he perceives incomplete attention is being paid to him. The most grim incident was a deposit left under the Christmas tree one year, as he felt left out of the traditional after-dinner family board game.

I'm pleased to hear that Sid has turned a corner, and that @WendyWagon is doing well too. Much love to both of you.

Sleeplessness goes with the territory, I'm afraid, @Onewildandpreciouslife. i still have bouts of it now, after eight years. All we can do is roll with it, and enjoy any dreams that come along. I get those rarely nowadays, but loved the free cinema season ticket I had in the early days.

My weekend is promising to be boring. I need to re-hang some pictures that husband had put up too high. Why do they do that? The decorator was here doing other things last week, and I got them taken down and the holes made good so I can put them back a foot or so lower on the various walls. I also need to read a book for my book club meeting on Monday, which I can't see happening. Even the Audible version is 24 hours or so, and there is no way I can concentrate for more than an hour or so of being read to. I'll google reviews and see if there are any articles about it, then revert to being a literature student who is winging a Monday seminar after a busy weekend. I was quite good at that back in the day. Otherwise, I have no real plans, other than to sort out beds for expected visitors and any unexpected ones who may turn up as a result of daughter's stay. I also need to plan meals and sort out a grocery order. I bet you're all jealous of my life on the edge.

I am a simmering tower of jealousy @ShyMaryEllen 😉 - sorting out high pictures and bedding are the stuff of fantasy, hehe. Thank you for the love and good wishes.

That's brilliant that your DD is coming to stay; I really hope you have a wonderful time together - despite the little botty-bomber. Sid's predecessor, a Parson Russell Terrier, was mistress of the protest pee. Very carefully targeted and timed to precision. Her finest work was done on the last evening of a big joint family holiday in Wales. Cases had all been packed ready for the off the following morning, various dogs all walked and secured in cottage kitchen, and all humans headed out to the local for one last slap-up dinner. We can home to find she had got out of the kitchen, into my DB and DSiL's bedroom, flipped up the lid of his suitcase and widdled over the entire contents. Cover to cover in the longest p~ss possible. DB was the alpha male of the group you see, therefore to blame for the outing, therefore he had to pay. She perched on the end of their bed, enjoying every single second of the mystified outrage she'd caused. I was yelled at, and it was 3am before the washing machine and tumble-dryer had unpicked her devilry. It was a long and silent journey back down the M4. She gloried in it. She was a roguish little titwitch, but I loved her very dearly.

I do love your notion of the 'free cinema season ticket' - what a wonderful way to think of it. I will remember that.

Sid and I have returned from our lovely woodland walk. I bought some honeycomb in the farm shop. We saw two red deer in the woods. And Sid's home-baked brownies were beautifully crafted - and solid. Finally. 🤎😀

Hope you're doing OK @WendyWagon and that the dog is looking after you.

Strength and love. ❤️ x

P.S. @ShyMaryEllen - what's the book? 🙂 x

Morning my wonderful shipmates

I want to clean, declutter and decorate my house.
I want to practice yoga,read my book collection, calm my anxious mind.
I cannot do any of these things if I'm drinking, so

I will not drink today.
Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning. Day 35 completed.
Had a slight wobble last night in a period between cleaning and going out, I had a quick thought that a drink would be a good idea, it wasn’t really strong but it was there. I had a decaf coffee and watched 15 mins of Bad Sisters instead and the moment passed.
It has been a long time since I started to rely on alcohol so it will take a while for my brain catch up that I don’t drink anymore.

@Onewildandpreciouslife sorry about the crap sleeping but amazing about the nearly 3 years and marathon. Is the running something you have built up after becoming sober?

@REP22 glad Sid is on the mend, your woodland walk sounds idyllic made- lucky you to have that on your doorstep.

@ShyMaryEllen hope you pictures are in the right place now, @WendyWagon continue to rest and repair

I’m clothes shopping today with my daughter, I am looking forward to spending time with her, she’s a ray of sunshine

Morning all.

I'm downstairs contemplating cheese on toast.
@REP22 so glad Sid is recovering. Mr Tiggle is always chewing something he shouldn't.

@mermadeincornwall I need to declutter ready to sell our current home so we can buy the cottage. No strength for it yet obviously.
I've managed to only buy four items of clothing since January two of which were nightwear for hospital. A real success for me after doing the no buy pledge.
I watched the lady with 6500 items of clothing on 'sort your life out' I felt positively sparten. Luckily I need nothing.I also know exactly why I buy so much! 😄

Agreed. Even worse when I drank none of those things mattered! Now I notice a flower out of place - early onset OCD😱

@Kindtomyself I love the phrase you used "I don't drink anymore." Don't know why is clicks so much with me, but that's a very helpful new way to talk to myself.

Lovely sunshine today. Not the best weekend - a neighbourhood issue that we can't do anything about, but move (we are trying) but is having a pretty big impact on us.

But I didn't drink so I am greatful x