The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Time flies, doesn’t it? Great to hear you’re coming to your anniversary, @ponzusoup. Congratulations 🥳

Morning beautiful shipmates.
I will not drink today.

It's great waking up knowing I didn't drink (again) last night.

Love and kind thoughts to all, especially @WendyWagon☕️💕.

Morning. Day 31 completed. I look better, my hair is smoother and my eye bags have lessened. I have put on a few pounds but I am sure my face is less puffy. My eyes are clearer.
I still feel quite lonely, I am a single mum to teenagers with no family around. I am hoping with time to develop a/some friendship/s that I can spend time with. Everyone around me is in relationships and spend their time with their partners. Quite tricky in my 50s although I also need to work out who I am and what I like

Congrats on 11 months @ponzusoup and 70 days @AshMum

Oops paragraphs would have been good

Have you read any quit lit @Kickbinit ? It explains why we drink the way we do. I wouldn't of stopped without it.

It's never one glass @Slackfoxy, well done on stamping down on that thought .

I'm struggling to stop eating, I can feel my fat expanding as I type.I desperately want to loose weight .I'm curious @Kindtomyself and @SmellyMe are having similar issues.

Excellent progress @ponzusoup, you must be so pleased,
( and relieved that you've come this far? )

I'm back to day one 😢. So annoyed with myself, I caved last night. I've just bought Alcohol Explained, and will begin reading it today as I see it's recommended by you guys.

Welcome back @Swanchaser every period of abstinence is a huge time for learning about our sober self's, and despite having many falls myself I know each time I manage some time off I build more information about what I need to be sober.

Welcome back x

@ponzusoup it's just so lovely to see you post and sound so happy.

@WendyWagon I hope you are recovering well x

@mermadeincornwall I actually read Alcohol Explained years ago and I successfully laid of alcohol for some years, but it’s clearly time to revisit. I’m listening to the sober powered podcasts and reading the quit lit, but even with all this, I’m still finding that inner sneaky voice telling me I can control it and it’s only a weekend issue!

But it’s not, and it’s having such an impact on my health. I really worry the older I get about dementia and this weekend binge drinking and thats on top of just about every other awful alcohol induced illness. I’m also in my 50’s, somewhat isolated due to kids flown the nest and working from home and have definitely used alcohol to deal with the boredom and loneliness, but I’m trying to change that.

@Kindtomyself that such an encouraging post to read this morning, you’re doing so well and the positivity is really coming through on your posts. When you compare to how you sounded when you first started posting, it’s like night and day - I want some!

I’ve decided to say bugger the weight loss for the time being and this Friday will treat myself to an M&S meal and dessert. I know this weekend is going to be tough, so need to prepare as much as possible. The thought of doing my Sunday morning run without a hangover is something to look forward to 😄

Thanks for all the encouragement- it really does help.

@Swanchaser @Kickbinit I listen to loads of podcasts and they really help. Hearing about people who are really genuinely happy now they’re sober really spurs me on. It makes me want to see what it’s like. That’s why I am posting on here daily to be as honest and raw (ish) as possible so I can look at how I am improving.

@mermadeincornwall yep eating more. I had an eating disorder as a teenager - didn’t eat basically and have always fussed over being overweight. When drinking I used alcohol as my calories (very clever) - so I didn’t put weight on however I have started to now. Really aware of it and want to make sure I eat well. I am going to up my water intake and move more (have moved far less in the last few weeks)

@Kickbinit I’m glad I sound more positive! Not surprising considering I felt like I wanted to totally disappear from life! I’m glad I recorded it here so I can look back and remember how bad I was. I know what you mean about the weekend thinking - I have realised that I was thinking about alcohol quite a lot and I don’t want to be doing that.

Ahoy lads. Out the other side.
Lounging in my NHS Hilton. All looking positive. Hoorah.

With regard to weight. I didn't have a problem for nearly forty years. I was an athlete and vain! I was overweight at times but I dieted and it came off. A 16 was my limit as I'm tall and I'd aim for a 12.
My mum's passing screwed with my drinking and I added in lots of curries, crisps, cheese and overeating. I actually don't think I cared anymore what I looked like. My late mother was very beautiful and cautioned us girls not to get fat. It was constant from age 13. When she died it was freedom from the criticism.
Sadly alcoholism took hold and I developed a health condition after the birth of the DD. The answer was steriods and we all know how much weight they can add. I tried really hard to diet with slimming world and got somewhere until my lovely dad died 7 years ago. I felt I had no family left. I got in with a retro eighties crowd who loved to drink and that was me for 4 years until I stopped.
I was huge weight wise and bloated. My lovely skin was red, rough and I had started to have leg pains.
I knew another year would kill me.
I didn't start dieting for the first month. I had only done eight weeks of sobriety in twenty years so I couldn't add another task into my commitments.
Now I feel very different.
I've watched people eat utter rubbish over the last two days. Hospital food is OK if you don't want takeaway or KFC etc. Legally it has to be. I eat all the fruit and veg I can stuff down me. I'm not cooking it, hoorah. We've spent years abusing our system, give it time.
We wake up one day and think sod it, I'm going to treat myself to kinder.
One foot forward.
Your friend Wendy. X

Good to hear from you @WendyWagon

Good to hear from you @WendyWagon ! X x x
Have coughed up on some of your posts and wishing you all the best recovery wise x
Thanks for sharing your story. You're an inspiration.

A heart attack meant I had no choice but to not only go sober but also change all my eating habits / reduce stress / manage a heap of new meds and bloody exercise ! In reality it was the biggest wake up call I'll ever get. Totally unexpected. Don't smoke don't eat rubbish and not overweight but clearly the lifestyle I was indulging in took its toll
20 years of a stressful job and a bottle of wine routinely after work every night
It's day 100 for me tomorrow and although there's been some bumps along the way by goodness I wouldn't want to start that journey again.
I never imagined looking forward and having this much fun already because I've honestly never felt so good
Im present , focused , mindful , kinder to myself and others and my skin and hair are the best they've ever been .
Thinking about going to a group now as I'm at that stage where I've planted the seed of maybe having the odd glass after a year .... big mistake so need to add in some extra support?
Realistically needs to be online
Anyone on here had any experience of such please ?

So glad to hear that it's all looking positive, @WendyWagon. Onwards and upwards now. I'm very relieved.

I lost some weight after giving up, but not for a while (I developed a very sweet tooth), but then my thyroid went west, and I piled it on. Then came Long Covid (or another cause of breathlessness - nobody really knows) and I slowed right down, as I can't do much without getting out of breath. I could really do with losing 3 stone, but even so, I am healthier than I was when I was drinking.

Being sober doesn't protect us from other health issues, but it is so much easier to get over them when we aren't drinking. From basic things like medication working properly to baseline health being so much better we can face so much more.

Good morning everyone.. No wine last night, a fitful sleep and awake early, but feeling positive today. Wishing everyone a good one!

Morning all.
Oh the Joy of the NHS Hilton. Hopefully home later.
I want my own bed now.

Apparently I still snore.

Morning classy sassy sisters.
I will not drink today.

If I want a better life, with better mental health, physical health and be slimmer then I'm going to have to work to get it. Nobody is going to do it for me. It's down to me.

Love and kind thoughts to all, especially @WendyWagon ☕️.

Morning all. 32 days completed. Hair cut yesterday and I look so much better - I’d normally go for a glass of wine after for a
’treat’ - madness - the haircut is a treat.

Glad all gone well @WendyWagon and hope you get home soon.

@mumzof4x I’m so pleased you’re feeling so good, it’s inspiring to read - ‘present, focused, mindful, kinder to self and others and hair and skin best they’ve ever been’. Meetings - I go to AA, I know it’s not for everyone but I do find it helpful, it does depend on the meeting though so I have tried different ones. My preference is women only and there’s secular ones. I can’t tell you on here which ones I go to and can’t DM.

Just google AA meetings - the page is called Find a Meeting and from there you can search for online and there’s loads, I would recommend trying a few.
I also go to Hola Sober which has about 8 meetings a week- again have a google.
I know Sober Awkward have a monthly check in but not been to that and they’re in Australia so not sure about the times.
I would love face to face connection that’s for over 40s and sober but can’t find any.

@ShyMaryEllen I have never worried about the impact alcohol has on my physical health and been extremely lucky..so far. I don’t think I have grown up properly…
I had always been careful with what I eat and exercised because I hate being overweight but then glugged loads of wine…

@mermadeincornwall Love your positive posts every morning and apply them to myself, so thank you!

@mumzof4x I have just started Smart Recovery online (lots of meetings throughout the day and evening) and it suits me because at the moment I can keep my camera off and just listen. Like you, I wonder if this is the missing piece to staying sober long term and willing to give anything a try.

@Kindtomyself Same here - ironic that I eat very well, no upf and havent for years, exercise every day, watch my weight and then think nothing of throwing copious amounts of wine down my neck at the weekend. That’s an addict for you though I guess and it was the one thing that kept me going through the week, knowing I could have that total switch off, block everything out and just numb myself.

Mood pretty meh today and very tearful but if anything it just makes me more determined to carry on. It will be tomorrow night that things will get tough, so I might be shouting for some company!

Love to all

Looking forward to a special meal tomorrow to celebrate various things. There's a tasting menu with special wine, but on Saturday I will wake up bright & refreshed! The food & company will be special enough 😍

@Kickbinit I think I’ve been going through my life with a kind of knowing that I’ll have a glass of wine and it will be ok too. Taking the edge off blah blah blah but it’s all still there in the morning- it’s a vicious circle. I have listened to so many podcasts that reassure me that much contentment will come from sobriety so I want to see if this is true. I feel so much better today and I am not going to spoil it with alcohol.

Sorry you feel meh today but loving your determination ODAAT

@taylorean enjoy your special meal

Hello lovely shipmates,

Lovely to catch up with you all after a few days. I must apologise for the absence and general lack of freshly-swabbed decks at this end. Sid has been very unwell. I think he is on the mend now, but it has been a trying few days. My favourite cardigan was sacrificed to his front end, while the downstairs carpet took the brunt from the fire escape. He is mortified, bless him. He had a clear night last night, so hopes are high.

But all shall be well. He joins me in love strength and courage to you. Keep going. xx

Oh, poor Sid! I hope he's feeling better, and is snuggled on the sofa with Lucozade on tap and cartoons on the telly. Deputy Dawg and Scooby Doo might cheer him up.

I hope you are ok too, @REP22 - cleaning up after sick hounds is not fun.

I'm home lads. Thank you for all the good wishes.

I am very tempted to do this social media lark next year if we sell the company. I've had so many people ask me re my skin.

The effects of the surgery 'enlightened' Mr Tiggle. He stood fast to his mama though. I think he might of missed me!

Much love to Sid. ❤️

So pleased to hear that @WendyWagon and Sid are recovering. Get better soon both!

@Kindtomyself I do AA too - online - and totally agree that you’ve got to find the meetings that chime with you. I also find it useful, and value the feeling of community that I’ve gained from doing the same 3 meetings each week. Two of them are 7am ones, which on one hand is bonkers as I don’t actually have to get up at any particular time (although I get up early anyway) but on the other, I find that it sets my day up nicely. My meetings are distinctly ungodly!

Been reading through the posts and wanted to say well done to you all. I'm hoping to remain AF for the rest of my life. I was a weekend drinker, mainly at home and partner is not AF. I'm gaining weight and craving sugar though so need to try to knock that on the head. Sleep is still an issue for me but I am perimenopausal too so could be that to blame.

I decided to stop drinking alcohol just after Christmas 2024, last year I moderated to one weekend a month. I did drink 3 days last month whilst on holiday but have no desire to do it again (had a couple glasses of wine with dinner) felt rubbish and abstained for rest of the holiday. Drank for the sake of it!

Weird dreams still, disrupted sleep and sugar cravings but positives are clearer skin and less gastric issues.