The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.

Happy new week to all my Sober Sisters. Lovely to hear from you @ponzusoup and so agree with you. Alcohol is sold to us as an aid to help with all the struggles of Women and inequities of womanhood, when in fact it just paralyses us and makes things harder.

I was listening to a back catalogue issue if In Our Time on BBC sounds a week ago about the Temperance Movement in Britain and was stuck that it was a working class movement where they identified that workers who were drunk at the weekend couldn't organise to fight unfair employment practices.

In the light of IWD, it made me think, women who drink are anaesthetised to our continued inequality and therefore can't organise! Each remaining stuck.in our own private hell.

Anyway, sobriety is a feminist issue!

@MagsMagnolia I don't have personal experience but a close friend (who is sober anyway ) tried to come off their citalopram.amd it did not go well. I would second @Onewildandpreciouslife and leave it a bit longer and do so slowly under medical supervision.

Morning. Day 29. Feel so much better for not drinking. I already feel like a different person after 4 weeks. ODAAT.
@ponzusoup thanks for the inspirational post.
@MagsMagnolia I came off anti depressants approx a year ago, whilst I was still drinking, which I don’t think was the wisest choice but looking back probably an indication of me not being of sane mind. If I had my time again I would wait until I had a good few months sobriety under my belt and then taper after discussing with GP. It’s so great you’re feeling much better, maybe wait a few months before you decide to come off them & you’ll be feeling even more amazing

How did you do on Friday evening @Womanshour? I've decided to sit in my bedroom when the wine witch calls, even if it's mid afternoon! I need to firmly establish new routines after work and have everything out and ready, like bubble bath, pj's, so I don't sit in the lounge.
You symptoms do sound like peri menopause. I'm headachey alot but that's the less sugar in my diet, and feeling tired but I'm a couple of stone overweight. It's all a work in progress.

Great post @ponzusoup.

Keep going @Kickbinit,everytime I slipped (fell overboard) I was more determined to try again.

Look at you @MagsMagnolia, making changes, we can do this !

Sending Yorkshire tea ☕ and fortitude for tomorrow @WendyWagon, please remind me what your operation entails?

Big kiss to cabin boy Sid 😘

Good luck for your op tomorrow @WendyWagon.
That all sounds great @Kickbinit

Another one wishing you well for tomorrow @WendyWagon Hope you are fighting fit soon 😘

@mermadeincornwall i bought an M and S meal, felt very full and went to bed! Very few cravings! So that was good. I've had a very busy weekend (trying to sell our house) so I've had pangs for wine, but it's not been too bad this weekend. Thank you for checking in. I love new PJs I think they are my favourite treat to myself!! Your new routine sounds great! Xx

Thanks all - the problem is because I don’t drink every day but weekend binge, I convince myself by the time Friday comes and I’m physically feeling better that it’s not a problem, even though it’s wrecking me physically, mentally and I’m too old for my body to keep taking this punishment that I’ve been subjecting it too for so many years.

I’m so tired of spending the whole week thinking about that drink at the weekend, it consuming me and I’m honestly now getting so worried that it could slip out of my very tight control, which is just so exhausting.

So I will continue with the meetings this week and reading your updates which are so encouraging and I so hope like @Kindtomyself I’ll be able to say day 29 too!

Best wishes for tomorrow @WendyWagon , hope it all goes smoothly.

I practically live in PJs @mermadeincornwall. I don’t sleep in them but wear them all day, throwing my dog walking trousers over the top for my morning walk. Which sounds a bit gross when I see it written down! I get quite resentful when I have to go somewhere and have to wear proper clothes 🤣

Morning all.
A better night for me.
I need to pack my little bag for tomorrow.
New pj's and some Yorkshire tea (I'm not drinking that NHS rubbish).
I don't mind hospital food. I like the soup and sandwiches. Reminds me of school and I don't need to cook it!
I have books, magazines and my phone.

To all those struggling, it will get easier. I've always had cravings but over the last six months they've gone. Now I've no idea if it's a lasting effect of the WLJ or just a coincidence but I've no interest. I only took the jab for three weeks as it made me so ill but something definitely changed. I believe they are testing now on alcohol addiction.
I'm lighter because I can't eat and the good ship NHS always provides 7 lbs off in a week for me. Free health farm!
Hopefully my friends will take pity and bring in a few tasty supplies.
Thank you for all the good wishes. X

True stuff. Last night, quietly watching a box set, a demon spirit stirred my mind - it was a compulsion to go to the kitchen, open a bottle of red, pour a (very) large glass and polish off the bottle to maximize the buzz! It was most strange as there was no obvious trigger, just an irrational compulsion; but the significance for me after 31 days AF was that it was not for a “nice glass of red” but to neck the whole damn bottle as quick as possible. So that’s a clear message to me that “cutting down”, or “normalizing” my drinking would be almost impossible, right now. I breathed deeply for a moment or two and binned the thought. This morning I clicked day 32 on try dry and god do I feel stronger.

Thank you for all the advice, I'm feeling so positive about the future it's hard not to think about making more changes! I've been laid low with this virus and have been reading about natural health and supplements and find myself so motivated to take my health in hand (whilst I still have it). I'm not afraid of getting older but I am scared of ill-health. Some of you know I lost both my parents this last year - diet and lifestyle definitely played a part in this and particularly alcohol in my Dad's case. It's been the catalyst for me to wake up a bit to what I'm doing to my health. I've taken it for granted for a long time but I'm hoping I haven't left it too late to effect some positive changes for the future.
@WendyWagon sending you healing thoughts.

Morning all! A quick message wish @WendyWagon good luck for the op tomorrow.

I’m on day 65 now. So much is going on in life that I’m glad I am not obsessing too much. However, the old PMT and hating my husband are big triggers. I gave him 3 choices at the weekend: be nicer, we get a divorce or he watches me drink myself to death. We’ll see how that goes!!

My skin issues have flared up so I’m booking an appointment with the GP to beg for a return to a dermatologist. At least I can triumphantly claim it’s not booze related.

i am still not losing weight. However, I have stuck to going to the gym once a week however good or bad i am feeling and I’m proud of that. I even attempted a run on the road the other day. I can’t seem to control my appetite. I am constantly ravenous so perhaps that’s a hangover (of a kind), too. It’s not so much a sweet thing. Anyway, it’s stopping me committing to dieting. I am still giving myself time for adjustments but inwardly peeved about the lack of blinding light at the end of a tunnel!! If that makes sense.

well done to everyone else sticking with it 👏🏼

@SmellyMe if you can wait a week or so I'll get my office to send some samples of skincare.
They're very slow at the moment due to tiktok. Went a bit mad in NYC.

I'm into soup at the moment. I'm a bit rubbish at homemade but I'm working my way around the fresh and tinned. I'm not sweet toothed either.

Hope it goes well tomorrow @WendyWagon - don’t forget to pack the long lead charger and a hand mirror x

Good luck tomorrow, @WendyWagon. We'll all be thinking of you, and looking forward to hearing that all has gone well and you are on the mend very soon.

Morning my wonderful sober friends.
I will not drink today.

Our mental health and physical health is more important than alcohol.

Love and kind thoughts to all, especially @WendyWagon today ❤️

Morning all. Day 30. The days are ticking on, I’m feeling so much better. My sleep has improved. I wake at 6 and meditate. I am eating more but that will have to be ok for now.
Hope all goes well @WendyWagon

I hope everything goes smoothly for you @WendyWagon today x

Thank you lads. No breakfast Wendy so hangry!
Off shortly. Full of wind so yeay, elegance rules.
Keep the faith mes aimies.

Good luck @WendyWagon

Hope if goes ok @wendy thinking of you. I read this thread every day (70 days AF tonight) and appreciate all the wise words and support. Onwards and upwards!

Good luck @WendyWagon - our hearts are with you. ❤️

Strength and courage. x

Hope all goes/ went well @WendyWagon 💐

hope you got on ok @WendyWagon

let us know when you can.

love to all sober ladies this evening, and strength. i'm nearly 11 months sober and still a bit flabbergasted but utterly delighted i got this far. it gets so much easier i promise! brain feels healed. 🥰