The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Well done @Slackfoxy - that's goddess-level resolve and strength. 🏋️‍♀️ Without intending to sound patronising, I am so, so proud of you. You're amazing. ❤️

It's posts like these that make Sid very, very happy indeed.

Well done @Slackfoxy 🌺
No idea why that's in huge letters on my screen sorry !
I'm having a wobble. Day 96 and dd just had a complete teenage meltdown all aimed at me and it was awful for her and me.
All the Christmas drink was just lined up there (always is and doesn't bother me normally) and I could have literally inhaled something.
Still can
I've come up to bed/ had a shower / nice body lotion but still wobbling
DH making me a brew
Going to ask him for a foot rub .... he's been at work all day poor chap but needs must !!!
God I thought I was the other side of this! Went for a curry last night and really enjoyed my AF without a second thought
Just shows
Not out of the woods yet and can't get complacent
Need to have a good talk to myself !!!!
How's everyone else doing ?
Friday evenings and Sundays are yeh worst eh ? X

Hope you’re over the wobble @mumzof4x and great to be on 96 days. Hope you got your foot rub.

I had a bad tempered episode earlier where I got really annoyed at my son. I know I wouldn’t have been like that if I had been drinking. I would have been numbed. I did apologise for it afterwards and know that was the right thing to do.

Morning my wonderful shipmates.
I will not drink today.

It's tough, but better than being on the merry-go-round.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning. Day 27 completed.
Going for a run shortly. Glad to wake up knowing that I didn’t do or say anything stupid last night.

I’m having menopause related hot sweats every night, they seem to have started since stopping alcohol which is unexpected.

Morning everyone, happy weekend

Wow! Well done - and you’re lucky as I don’t need “demon drops” to do or say silly things!

Afternoon all.

Actually @Slackfoxy I don’t need ‘Demon drops’ either but if I’m not under the influence when I say stupid stuff it has a different impact (on me) 😁

Love this thread, so supportive.. .had an afternoon out in the sunshine with friends, came home and felt like a glass of wine on the sofa with the dog would round the day off. But I recalled various tips - got into pyjamas, poured a soft drink into a nice glass and 'played it forward' to tomorrow morning. Hopefully staved off the craving for another evening. Thanks all!

Evening everyone, hope you’re all doing okay.
Really busy few days, wine which has been a bit noisy lately, but I’ve slapped her down. Still sober, so that’s a win. One day at a time.
Love to all, no one said it would be easy, but if we stick together, we’ve got this.
x

Could be part of recovery, the poison is leaving your system, I had similar in the first weeks, drink loads of water xx

I hope things work out well for you over the next week or so @WendyWagon. PMs appear to be disabled. x

Morning sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

I appreciate very much waking up with no concerns whatsoever about what I did yesterday.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Good morning all! I have some funny symptoms: pins and needles, dizziness and very tired/achy. I had thought some of these were alcohol related but I'm wondering if they are perimenopause related. I'm also waking at 4, (easier than alcohol waking, no racing heart, anxiety etc).

Anyone had these symptoms when not drinking. I started this year with dry Jan and drank for one week, then got back on the wagon. So I am early days, and would expect the tiredness still, but I'm wondering if the other symptoms are perimenopause? I also feel really worried about going to the GP as I know the first question will be blood test. I also had 6 months off alcohol last year... so my hope is my liver would be a little better than it would have been at the start of last year? But dreading being told i have damaged it. It just feels so dreadful to have caused this myself.

Morning all.
Just a short wait now until Tuesday's operation. What will be, will be.

I had a bad night Friday, I won't bore you with the details.

I'm trying to go back to eating wholemeal carbs. I don't eat much bread but I've just had a buttered crust of Sainsbury's finest.

Off to watch love your Sunday. Keep the faith my sober sisters.

All sorts of things could be withdrawal, @Womanshour. Fluey symptoms are common, and realistically that covers a lot of possibilities.

I think you can get DIY LFTs, if you want to know what’s happening without it being on your records; but the truth is that if there is damage your GP does need to know, so you get appropriate treatment and further tests.

It feels like it’s a bit of a lottery when it comes to damage. Some people drink copious amounts and are fine, while others drink less and cause damage. Being told I had liver damage probably saved my life. I understand why people are reluctant to go, but I don’t know whether I would have been able to give up if I’d thought I was healthy. One step at a time though. If you get the home test kit you can take things as they come. I can help you read the results, if we don’t have someone qualified on the thread (I’m not - I just have a lot of experience of reading my own).

I think you're right about a dodgy result almost being what I need to see. I'm weirdly also worried my result will be fine and I'll get back to it.

I think I'll give it another month not drinking (I hope i can give it another month) and then make a decision. If still symptoms then I'll make a GP appointment. I've popped a note in my calender to review with myself. Thanks @ShyMaryEllen great advice as ever x

In other news I went for a lovely run today, getting slightly longer, and had a couple of happy moments during.

popping on to say hi to you lovely ladies in international women's day weekend. aren't we all brilliant? we are the backbone of our families and often our communities , looking after our toddlers teens and often husbands parents not to mention houses and jobs. it's a lot. and then we finally finally realise after being sold it for years by the advertising culture as a helper, that alcohol has been making it all even harder, this workload we carry. add to that some early trauma and family shit and you have a real addiction soup.

i managed to stop after 40 years of abuse ( started mid teens) by coming in here and being held and supported and challenged by this wonderful group. it lifted me up with no judgement but a lot of wisdom and honesty.

keep going ladies. we can do hard things. especially together ♥️

Morning. 28 days completed. Went to a ‘gathering’ last night and drank AF beer. I didn’t tell anyone and nobody noticed. Another friend said they weren’t drinking and another had one drink. I noticed how people were drinking and no one was chucking it down their necks (like I would have been doing)

Thanks for recommending Smart recovery. I attended an online meeting today, (something I thought that I’d never do!) after slipping again this week.

Initially I wasn’t sure that it was for me, but once I got into into the flow, I found it so supportive and will be using some of the tools/resources suggested to hopefully help me through this week.

Funny, there’s people from all walks of life in the group but the urges, difficulties and feelings are all the same whoever you are and hearing people share their own battles, what’s working, what’s not, whats getting them through was so encouraging.

I’m hoping this is what’s been missing before when I’ve tried to give up, I’ve read all the quit lit, abstained for long periods but I always go back but this time I want it to be the last.

22 days under my belt now and feeling fine, despite a lousy virus which has laid me low.
A slight segway if I may...
I've been on citalopram for the last 3 years (had a previous stint of being on it for about 5 years before this, when I was in my late 30's). I'm thinking of coming off it as a) I'm feeling well, b) the stressful situation I was in has now come to an end, and c) I find my emotions (and libido 😳) are very 'blunted' which I really don't like. I don't cry at things that would be natural to feel emotion for and whilst no-one wants to be upset, this feels very alien to me. I'm hoping that without the alcohol I'll have a resilience I haven't had before and coupled with a good exercise routine, which I'm beginning to develop, I feel quite positive about doing without. I can always go back on it if I have to I suppose!
Do any of you have any experience of this?

Hi @MagsMagnolia - yes, I came off citalopram after about 18 months sober. It was a very slow taper and I found it quite hard - lots of dizziness. It’s worth chatting with your GP, but I think in your shoes I would hold on for a while before making a change like that - it’s brilliant that you’re feeling better and the exercise routine will definitely help but don’t feel you have to rush into it.

Lovely to hear from you @ponzusoup ❤️

Morning beautiful sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

'As long as you keep drinking, you will never feel fulfilled '. I now realise the more you drink the more addicted you become.

Love and kind thoughts to all.