The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning my beautiful shipmates.
I will not drink.

I look soooo much better now.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Love this message mermadeincornwall - I'm sorry I don't know how to tag people!
If I manage a few days not drinking I wake up on a morning like this wondering why I ever do it!?! There lies the big question 🤔

Morning 25 days completed
Had headache for a few days and today have a blocked nose. Feeling really run down but not surprised with the emotional response I have had recently. I look drained and exhausted too. This isn’t me being negative it’s fact. I do have self-compassion for this, I deserve a nice cup of tea (which I now have)

I recently looked back at this thread from a couple of years ago and scared myself reading my own posts. I think I was sober for approximately 6 weeks and then decided I would be ok having a couple of drinks, which I was for that night and a couple of other nights but then it descended quickly into alcohol taking control and I was no longer’ok’. Terrifying.

Today I will not be drinking

Thank you @Swanchaser.
It really is a beautiful morning, very frosty and cold, but the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, and the gulls are making a racket.

I know it's morbid to say but, oneday none of us will be here anymore to appreciate moments like this so between now and then I want to enjoy every single second. And definitely not waste time drunk or hungover.

Which quit lit are you reading now @Womanshour?
I'm reading Allen Carr The easy way for women to stop drinking.
My absolute favourite book is Simon Chapple How to quit alcohol in 50 days, you read a chapter daily with exercises to do, it's alot of hand holding too, especially in the first few days.
I went straight to bed after work yesterday. So many of us do the bath, bed and boxset routine don't we.
I have no particular reason to drink anymore, no stresses really, just normal life, I'm so very lucky, which made drinking even more stupid. I did have a life changing experience many years ago which made me rage with anger, and still does if I let myself dwell on it, but I realise alcohol made it worse.
'Nothing gets better after the second drink '

@ShyMaryEllen well done so much and thank you for sharing what worked for you.
I also have been fortunate enough to be off work - not completely finish like you, but due to my heart attack have 6 months off due to a heart attack . Of course I wouldn't ever want that to have happened, but I absolutely know o could have gone back to work weeks ago physically. I have stayed off using my health condition as a mask - it is a health condition I suppose really drinking dependence.
I can so resonate with you and also drink a glass of AF wine now instead.
At first it tastes like fruit juice because I was clearly trying to replicate wine.
Now o just really like a glass of Frixinet or AF white wine and enjoy it
Well done on 25 days @Kindtomyself - you must me feeling some of the benefits now.
@mermadeincornwall it's great isn't it ... the before and after for me around 4 weeks was shocking. Clearer skin, popping eyes and all that puffiness gone!
Enjoy the sunshine today everyone 🌺
I'm hoping to plant a few seedlings later. Cuppa and new gloves at the ready !

Welcome back @Becky37 and @IChooseTo ,it's taken me a long time to get here, many day ones, we'll get there in the end.

Your post yesterday was excellent @ShyMaryEllen , thanks.

@mermadeincornwall i am currently listening to quit like a women, which I am finding really helpful. I'll look at the ones you've mentioned thank you.

And you are absolutely right there is nothing alcohol helps with!! Sometimes it's hard to remember that in the midst of Friday!!

Thanks @mumzof4x I just felt all warm inside when you said ‘I'm hoping to plant a few seedlings later. Cuppa and new gloves at the ready’ that sounds so lovely.

Good morning shipmates.
A bad night health wise yesterday but OK this morning.

The time we have is precious and we don't realise until something happens in our orbit. I for one are reavaluating my life in terms of home, work and needs. Jo

Good morning shipmates.

Sorry you had a tough night @WendyWagon 💐💐

Strength and courage as we march bravely on. We'll get there. xx

Thank you everyone and @REP22 for welcoming me back with open arms. Means so much to feel I can be back here again.

CarrotSeeds 🥲 I really appreciate your compassion and support, and reaching out to me. I have had some tricky personal issues to negociate (don't we all though). But I really just checked out of all help and support in the sober world the past 2 months.

I have a call today to get some real life local contact through my local AA group. And work tomorrow so life will continue. I am determined but scared of course that i'll get to a few weeks and fall again. I just have to engage as much as possible with everything and anything on offer.

I will not drink with you all today 💜

@Becky37 im a great believer in getting as much help as possible. AA is free and it's surprising how normal people are.
If high powers are not your thing I have never seen it pushed on anybody. Their aim is to keep you sober not recruit you to the God Squad! I also like the toffee pennies that nobody wants out of the quality street tin.

I've thought about doing the full thing myself or looking at volunteering to do counselling. I fell off the wagon twice last year but have had no desire to go on a bender since. Three years of sobriety has changed my life and relationships. I didn't value the old me and it was a struggle to get through everyday. It also cost a fortune as I'm such a wine snob.
The fear for me was saying or doing something awful. It's so refreshing not to wake up and think oh sh*t.
That keeps me going and the sober sisters on here. X

@WendyWagon sorry about your bad night, hope you’re feeling better. I need to remember that feeling of waking up and thinking Oh Shit! It sends chills down my body but I know how easily I can forget.

@Becky37 I was at an AA meeting last night and it was so good to go. No god squad. Just listening and hearing the similarities and feeling connection helped

Hi @Becky37 - I echo @WendyWagon - the AA sessions I went to were all made up of lovely, welcoming people. It wasn't quite for me personally, but that was not because of the people or their methods.

I was referred to an NHS service called Inclusion (Homepage - Inclusion), where I did something called SMART Recovery (Self-Help Addiction Recovery | UK Smart Recovery). I found both to be very helpful.

Different things work for different people. I'm sure you will find something that works for you. You really are doing very well. Better than you think. You're dusting yourself down and trying again. That takes enormous reserves of strength and courage. Never underestimate that. It will be alright. ❤️ x

Evening all. Another one who’s been lying low for a little while, so I’ve just been catching up. I reached my 6 month AF milestone last week, which I’m pleased about. Although any milestone for me is tinged with a sigh and the feeling I’ve been here before and still blown it. It’s like I don’t really want to say anything in case I relapse and then I’ll look stupid. A pity I couldn’t use the fear of looking stupid in my drinking days to prevent some of my more stupid behaviour!

My appointment for a blood test for liver function is on Monday - the whole process seems to be taking an eternity. It’s not preying on my mind, but just want the whole thing done then I can plan accordingly. I’m thinking of retiring - not sure from what; I haven’t worked for two years, so it would be more of a case of formalising the decision in my head. I’m not sure why I’m predicating this on health, but hey ho, it sort of makes sense.

Some sad news, someone I was in rehab with was killed in a motorcycle accident in Thailand two days ago. He had relapsed, as had a couple of others, and they were all drinking. He was 21. It’s so sad - his whole life ahead of him and snatched away in an instant. It’s very sobering - alcohol got him in the end, not through illness or disease, but through stupid decisions and impaired function. It’s made me think a lot about health and mortality.

That’s tragic, @FaithHopeCarnage. 21 is barely adult. It’s such a waste.

I hope your LFTs go well, but don’t panic if they are out of kilter. I am good at reading them, so get back to me if necessary?

Chin up everyone. The nights are getting shorter and the weather will improve soon. Every day is better than the one before at this time of year.

Morning lovely lady crew.
I will not drink today.

I didn't realise that choosing to never drink again would be so liberating.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Good morning lovelies.

I'm up not feeling too bad. Take-a-way night. Hoorah.

Morning. Day 26 completed.
That so sad @FaithHopeCarnage the crazy decisions and behaviour from drinking that we make.
I am trying to keep myself reminded of how alcohol warps my mind, how it controlled me.
It’s so scary.
A friend is struggling at the moment with anxiety (non alcohol related) and yesterday I sent her a photo of a page from a book that I thought she might find helpful. I woke this morning and I questioned why I had sent it and checked with myself that I wasn’t drunk when doing it (if that makes any sense).
Basically I was (and am) forever questioning my judgment on decisions I make (even small ones) based on whether I was under the influence.

@Kindtomyself your judgement sober is probably just fine.
I was a huge people pleaser and not very good at setting boundaries.

I did stand up for myself yesterday when my BFF told me about some shocking comments her partner had made.
Would I have done that before? I'm not sure.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen - it was actually something you wrote that made me think I should probably get LFTs done. I appreciate your offer to interpret! Happy Friday everyone 😄

@WendyWagon good on you for standing up for yourself. I am interested in how I am going forward because I think I will find that my judgment is just fine. I have been hiding out for so long

Good morning shipmates.

Sorry to hear about that unfortunate lad in Thailand @FaithHopeCarnage - that's very upsetting.💐 I guess that's the thing with booze - there are very many different ways in which it can kill us. I hope you are OK.

I am doing dinner tonight. Teriyaki salmon. Sid is very pleased, as he gets the fish skin.

Strength and courage. We're a brave bunch - we can do this. xx

A slightly major event last night. I went to the pub with colleagues after work. By 7pm they’d all downed 3 or 4 glasses of wine or prossy - I felt perfectly fine having 3 glasses of AF beer. They didn’t seem to even notice! No anxiety, no cold shoulders just friendly banter. 4 weeks ago I’d have downed the same amount and then gone home and finished another bottle. Feeling virtuous, sober - and a few quid richer!