The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning Day 20 completed. My sis is visiting and we sat round chatting last night with a cup of tea (she had a glass of wine). It was the most pleasant evening. I’ve had in a long time. Quite unbelievable and fascinating.

Just realised my post says morning that’s because I wrote it this morning but forgot to post! Evening

Morning all.
Glad you’ve had a good time with your sister @Kindtomyself - connection is so much better when we’re fully present

Well done on not caving @taylorean - I wish less people drank at my work! Still a very boozy culture-at most work events it’s usually just me and the cool young Muslim guys sober.

I am away for a weekend on my own, attending an event. In the old days this would have been an opportunity to drink without being watched! Such a waste of time. Loving the quiet but it’s long enough- looking forward to being back with my family tonight

Morning AF free ships company
I will not drink today.
My anxiety levels are disproportionately elevated when I drink.
Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning Day 21 completed. I know what you mean @Onewildandpreciouslife about time away being an opportunity to not be watched, feels like madness now.

I was out at an event last night and I happily had a Diet Coke. I could feel anxiety me popping up and worrying about me making a fool of myself or generally just being too drunk which has clearly been there all along but I chose to drown it in alcohol. Another lesson of how I have just not been connected to my inner self

Love your daily posts @mermadeincornwall .

On of my closest friends has said she doesn't want to drink any more. She was a very responsible drinker, but felt it made her feel more anxious and sleep worse. I would love more of my circle to not want to drink.

I ran yesterday and plan to again in a moment, and slept so well! I'm going to have to work out a different plan for fridays as I just hate them, but I've really felt the sober benefits this weekend.

Hope everyone is finding the weekend ok. @REP22 I've been thinking of you and hope your work thing and you are OK x

Ooof. I'm going through a period of insomnia - waking up at 2 or 3am for at least an hour - because of a change in medication.

If I had to deal with the insomnia at the same time as the punishment you get from sharing a bottle of wine, I would be on the floor with fatigue and depression all of the next day.

Our wellbeing is definitely, definitely better this way. This is the better future!

so I've decided not to drink again. Ever. I don't think moderation is possible for me, so I'm going to stop. I had a bottle of wine last night and for the first time ever realised that I could
have opened another. I've never done that.
I won't do it again. I've stopped in the past for a
month here and there, but this time is forever.
I'm posting it here as a commitment to myself to do this. Forever this time.

Hey @newlifearoundcorner so lovely that you’re here. I have found this to be such an inspirational and supportive place to be

Morning all

Welcome to @newlifearoundcorner!

I'm finding the Try Dry app useful because the days are long but the weeks fly by, and you can see your progress.

The quit lit is good - Clare Pooley & the Unexpected Joy book.

You will feel better very quickly and your life will open up xxx

14 days for me today, but today has been challenging. Came home to find my cat lifeless on the kitchen chair - she was only 8. No idea what could have happened, she was bothering for food when I went out. I'm so sad.
I didn't drink though. Although I'm waiting for DH to come home to tell him - he'll be devastated, she was his shadow.

thanks for the welcome everyone.
I'm just off to bed, clearheaded and feeling great. I know I'm going to sleep better tonight and no anxiety in the morning. Day one done.

💔. I am so very sorry @MagsMagnolia. That's just awful. Well done on not reaching for the bottle though, that took real courage. ❤️

Hi all
I hope everyone is ok, and welcome to newbies. Please take Vitamin B1 if you have recently stopped drinking - high dose for at least 6 weeks. It won't harm you, and can help prevent brain damage, so make it a priority.

I have been laid up all weekend, but am on the mend now, I hope. I have drunk gallons of water to flush out my system, which is better for me than the usual sweet drinks I've craved since giving up on the wine.

@REP22, I wish you well for work tomorrow, and please give Sid a cuddle from me? @WendyWagon I hope your health is on more of an even keel? I think of you often. x

Morning lads, ahoy.
I'm up early as desperate for Yorkshire tea. The new antibiotics gives a vile taste in the mouth.
I have to get rid of my chest infection before the op next week.

I also snook in a hot cross bun. The dog goes quite silly so I have to pick out the currents to share.

@MagsMagnolia so sorry about your cat. I used to have two Persians. The first one was called Princess Hurley Sweetpea (fluff to us). I still miss her.

I was rummaging in the cupboard and found a bottle of AF orange gin. I remember it was lovely with elderflower tonic. Even the DH liked it.

I'm going to do the note through door on the pretty cottage today. We're all agreed. Let's hope they are selling.

Good morning, I've come to.admit my failure this weekend - I stupidly though that I could open a bottle of wine on Saturday as just have a glass. Of course I drank the whole bottle. Disappointed in myself. It's made me even more determined to quit altogether as I just can't moderate. Onwards and upwards.

Morning wonderful supporting sisters on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

I am improving myself, it won't happen overnight, it's a work in progress.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

@MagsMagnolia I'm so sorry. What a shock you must have had. I hope you are OK.

@Swanchaser I've fallen many times. It's great that you've said it, and are straight back to it.

Welcome to the new week. As last week, what a relief to meet it without a hangover x

Morning all. Day 22 completed. At some point I will stop counting days but at the moment it is keeping focused and reminding me of how far I have come. I don’t want to take my eye off the ball so to speak.
Every day is an improvement on the last. Every day I’m becoming stronger.

@MagsMagnolia I’m so sorry to hear about your cat, it’s devastating to lose a very loved pet. Well done for not picking up a drink.

@WendyWagon hope you’re health is improving and good luck with your cottage note

Thanks to you and the others who posted and made me feel a bit better about this.
I had a few thoughts as well which kind of made me think.

1. I obviously never felt amazing from a young age, that’s why I, and probably some of you too, turned to alcohol as an unhealthy coping mechanism. So the initial pain will still be there until we learn to manage that. I was 13 when I first got drunk and whilst I didn’t drink everyday then, it certainly was something that I learned to use to make me feel more confident amongst other things.

2. the weight gain I’ve had from years of heavy drinking also didn’t happen overnight. It took a few years of drinking a lot every night alongside a very unhealthy diet. So if that took a long time to show its toll then I must be patient for it the other way round too!

Those were the main things but I’m pleased I’ve been exercising more, even if I do always feel tired!

Welcome @newlifearoundcorner, we all have a tipping piont where we scare ourselves into stopping. I read in one of the quit lit books that it's not how much we drink, but how much we think about it.

I think my Wednesday are your Fridays @Womanshour, even after all this time I still struggle with the wine witch. I get myself into bed as quick as I can.

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely cat @MagsMagnolia, the house feels strangely empty after such a loss, sending extra kind thoughts 💔.

Sending a Yorkshire tea, and
hotcross bun @WendyWagon ,good luck with the cottage.

@AmusedBouched there's a thread running about parents effecting children's self esteem. My therapist uncovered a whole host of buried trauma around that. Best £2k I ever spent.
I started drinking at 14 to block out the bullying at home.

My lovely dad was nowt to do with it and he'd suffered himself as a child. He always called bullies out and he was a former military man. I miss him everyday.

I'm off out later, I need to sniff the air. I've just had flannagans porridge (which no-one else likes). A win because they'll scoff anything in this house.

@mermadeincornwall it's hard isn't it? What are the difficulties for you? Mine is end of week... and so "i deserve my treat" (I know what a crappy treat to poison myself) I'm tired and cleaning the house.

I've tried to clean on Thursday which helped but I can't do that now due to kids activities.

I am going to try to clean earlier so I can have a different treat, nice dinner or watch a film. X

So appreciate the support and encouragement on this thread!