The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Greetings shipmates. Hearty greetings from me and cabin boy Sid. Welcome @AmusedBouched - I am glad you have found us.

That breathalyser must have been quite satisfying @Kindtomyself - since becoming sober I have occasionally passed the local Rozzers and thought "pick me! pick me!" so keen was I to validate how sober I was. A bit mad but true.

We're all so delightfully different, it's hard to say how long it will be before we feel truly great. For some it's within hours or days, for some... well, any day now... but we all deserve to give ourselves the precious gift of sobriety. You ARE worth it.

Another tactic is to keep a record of what we would have spent on that night's booze and see how quickly it mounts up. Put cash in a jar, or open up a little separate bank account and transfer the money you would have spent at the offy or local shop on the way home with a small kept record (27/2 - 2 x bottles of wine - £17.75) each time. It's good to see it grow and it marks real achievement, even if you don't physically feel or look like it yet. Then use it to treat yourself to something special - or just keep watching the tally grow. And grow.

Some Tête-à-têtes out and blooming in Sid's borders this morning. He always enjoys the lift of a leg against a pretty flower.

Here he is, wishing you joy of your afternoon as he tries to snooze undisturbed by an annoying anonymous person intent on taking his picture. Poor beleaguered cherub. 😉

Strength and love. Keep going, even though it seems pointless and hard. I promise you it's worth it. It will be alright soon. xx

Sorry lads. I've been bedridden again. If I say I have chest pains they'll have me on a trolly again! I'm not going.
It's a conjested chest nothing more sinister.
The DH has gone to the pharmacy and to get a cold chicken and mushroom slice. Workman's fodder but I can't eat a big dinner as it hurts the gallbladder.

Luckily the thought of acidic booze fills me with horror. I never though I'd say that.

Oh no, @WendyWagon I'm so sorry you're feeling rotten again. Look after your lovely self.

A chicken slice sounds just the job. I've just got myself a large salted caramel latte from the office cafe. I wasn't going to - but finance numpties and H&S have driven me to it.

Hope you feel loads better very soon. x

Hope you are OK @WendyWagon you have had a hard time health wise.

@REP22 I think you deserved every sip of that latte. I hope you enjoyed it.

I need to delete Facebook from my phone. I swear it records everything you say. There’s too many coincidences… talking about something and then within a day or so, seeing things in your feed. See the photo for an example… pay for this hypnotherapy and you too could look like a completely unrelated person 😂. This thread rocks!

I'm 3 weeks in after wanting to make some healthier choices as I realised I'd got in a habit of having a glass or 2 of wine every evening with dinner, and a few days has turned into a few weeks.

Honestly I'm quite disappointed that I haven't noticed any positive differences in any way yet...

I'm glad it's not just me that's disappointed with the lack of difference! Also reminding myself that even if I can't see or feel the difference, at a cellular level it's got to be doing some good.... 🤞

16 days in. Same as some of you don't feel any better. In fact feel worse in a weird way.

Haven't fancied a drink, going out out tomorrow and I'm driving.

Feeling good I've not been tempted but do still have the whole 'will I stay strong forever' thought.

I swear I look more hungover on the mornings I haven't drank and haven't even lost a pound which is so disappointing!

People who have been drinking heavily for years (decades in some cases) need to completely rewrite before they feel better. Alcohol affects every part of the body and brain, and cries out for its poison for a long time. You will get there, but gradually rather than suddenly. Every day you don’t drink is good though. It’s a cumulative process.

I pretty much drank 5 days out of 7 for 18 years. The longest stretch without alcohol was 8 weeks.
I could pull off a Monday to Thursday no booze commitment whilst I was doing a long commute but then it was four days of solid drinking. Multiple bottles on Friday and Saturday.
This level of drinking means the physical changes happen quickly. They also reverse quickly.
I see lots of people in my industry (Beauty) complaining of rosacea. They haven't got it, it's dilated blood vessels. That can go pretty quickly. Ditto dry eyes and hands.
I didn't lose weight for a month. The first year I lost two stone. I wasn't really trying. What changed for me was my taste buds. I loved cheese but it was linked to the wine and I just didn't fancy it. I still don't.
I can't do any dieting at the moment due to my health but as I gave away so many clothes last year I'm not planning on being obese again. I have way too many frock options.
I also think we need to replace the drink with good food choices. The doctor told me off for not eating enough. He said your colon won't work if you don't give it anything to work on. Years of using booze instead of food was brought home to me. Wine and crisps have no nutritional value!

We don't give up the booze and have all the answers so I favour a bit of self study.
We have to learn to love our bodies again in all their shapes and sizes.
We get there one day at a time.

Morning all.

Morning lovely AF ladies,

I will not drink today.

I thank the universe for this opportunity to be here,and to have the choice to live my best life.

Love and kind thoughts to all.

Welcome @daysfilledwithdappledlight
And @hereshegoesagain36.

Please forgive if you've posted before and I've missed you joining.

Sending a Yorkshire tea 🍵 @WendyWagon

Day 18 completed. Still hiding out. Still shameful. I was drinking a glass or 2 of wine most nights with the occasional binge (the latter being the reason I am currently hiding because I made a complete tit of myself in front of 100 people).
I don’t look any better. In fact my exercise routine is worse because I won’t go outside and my water intake has reduced because I have lost the habit of 2 litres a day. I am being very gentle with myself. I at some point will have to put my big pants on and get out.

I am grateful that booze is not in my life. There’s something really freeing about it. I am hopeful that I can manage my anxiety better and actually enjoy my life.

@Kindtomyself and all others I found listening to SoberPowered podcast about the healing process really useful in the early days . Really helped my understand why it takes so long to feel better and what to expect

Just in from a busy night shift and sending strength to all who need it today. I'm going to relax in the bath for a bit before trying to get to sleep.
Very interesting about dry eyes and hands @WendyWagon as I'd put that down to menopause but will be nice if it improves now. I'm on day 12 and I've lost 6.5lb without trying! It's true for me that the 'bad' foods like crisps and cheese go hand in hand with the wine, so without the wine I'm really not that bothered.

Just wanted to say how much this thread and all of your contributions and honesty is helping, more than you know! And @Kindtomyself, been there done it, worn the t-shirt as have so many of us have, definitely time to do as your name says.

@EastCoastDamsel thanks for the podcast recommendation. I don’t expect to miraculously feel better tbh. In fact I think I look exhausted but I’m not surprised with the stress of the last few weeks. My focus is on my mental health.

Hi @Kickbinit glad the posts are helping. It’s refreshing to be honest and raw. I know I need to be kind to myself but it’s so tricky. Definitely trying though

Hi all, I hope you feel better soon @WendyWagon , you rest and look after yourself.
Sid is so adorable, my doggies are enjoying sprinkling the spring flowers too!
Had chronic sinus pain for the last couple of days, but instead of brandy am going with decongestant and heat pads…much healthier! It is worth it, we all want instant results because it’s so hard isn’t it? I’ve been AF since November, and for four months before I was sticking to the guidelines of no more than 14 units a week, and I’m getting some benefits, but no pink cloud, no massive improvement. So I tell myself it will take as long as it takes… I drank too much for decades, so it’s working, but I can’t except radical changes in months. I’m on the right path and so are you, it’s just a bit twisty and confusing at times.

Love to all x

Getting through my hardest day of the week. Hate Friday evenings at the moment. The world news doesn't exactly help when trying not to press the fuck it button. I didn't and here doing some cleaning in my pjs... the joys x

Morning beautiful sober sisters on the first day of spring.
I will not drink today.
I love waking up not unhungover.
Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning all.
Up a bit later as I went back to sleep.
Impossible as a drinker. I used to toss and turn. Frosty here.

Yes @WendyWagon same here. Arh to doze without my heart rate racing, and stress spiking!

Just off to a run welcome to sober Saturday! X

I had a tough week but didn't break. At work drinks it turned out lots of people have gone AF, it's becoming normal. We're part of a trend (the first time I've ever been fashionable).

That must be a good feeling you didn't break @taylorean i really hope it continues - this AF trend. I helped me stop smoking when it became so antisocial.