The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Day 14 completed. Went out last night to the theatre and had a diet coke- go me. Woke at 6am feeling shame, dread, fear. I f*cking hope it gets better…is it acceptable to swear on here?
I went for a run yesterday in a different area so I don’t bump into anyone and I spent a lot of time scanning the theatre to make sure I didn’t see anyone due to the shame.
What a sad state of affairs that I am hiding out. What have I become? I can see that I am putting on weight and getting more doughy.
cleaned some of my house yesterday and will continue today.

Glad you’re feeling better @WendyWagon.
@ShyMaryEllen was so excited for you finding the meditation and then sad that it was the wrong one Hope you find a good replacement.

@MagsMagnolia well done on 7 days.
@Lifeisnoteasy84 well done on 20 days

@MagsMagnolia and @Lifeisnoteasy84 huge congratulations to you both!

Thank you to who ever it was who recommended quit like a women a few days ago. I'm really loving it, it's just what I needed. It helps to read about how marketing for women has twisted feminism etc all to make money and impact our health.

My dry jan always had a background of resentment behind it, resenting that I had to stop. I'm starting to feel a bit different, like I'm opening my eyes (again) to the alcohol con. It feels good, and hopeful.

Pleased you feel better today @WendyWagon the hot crossed bun sounds good.

Now wish this bug would sod off then I could start feeling a bit healthier x

@Kindtomyself it will get better I promise. The dreams do stop.
I was stepping out with Tom Cruise at one point,and he's an arse in my opinion.

I swear a fair bit when someone does something horrid. I write it too.
I read that netmuns use to ban it!
I'm mindful that I'm a god botherer so I don't spout that or talk about my divisive relation who always gets abuse on FWR.

When I was talking to the drunk in A and E the other week he came and thanked me when he left. I didn't lecture him (who am I to say but a Spanx flasher? ) but I did feel I helped him. All the knowledge was from these threads, therapy and a bit of AA.
One foot in front of the other.

Morning all

35 days today and I will not drink today.

Hope we are all thriving in our sobriety,

@MagsMagnolia and @Lifeisnoteasy84 congrats to you both!

had a delicious af lager last night and another restful sleep - do not miss drinking or hungover sundays ….

Interesting that Holly Whittaker (Quit Like a Woman) now smokes pot. No judgement from me but I was definitely surprised to read it

@Kindtomyself ive just had to give a tot up of my fleebay spends (nosy son not DH)

Shopaholic, alcoholic.
You can take the booze out of the girl....

Weed stinks to me. I've just had another hot cross bun.
I did go very shaky at not being able to shop for stuff.

Do you spend a lot on EBay? @WendyWagon? What sort of stuff? Love a bit of shopping…was DS appreciative of your spending?

Hope the hot cross bun helped

@Kindtomyself i wear a particular Italian designer for most of my work clothes. I buy from a lady who gets the overstock. I'm not bothered re high fashion but I like wool, cashmere and silk. I have to pay the import tax but it's worth it.

I also get my Christmas shopping and bed linen on the site.

DS told me off re my spend! Cheeky arse.

Well done @MagsMagnolia @Kindtomyself and @Lifeisnoteasy84

Day 82 here today
Just wondering if anyone has experience of feeling overwhelmed at this stage?
It's like I've been so damn pleased with myself until now and focused on all the positives, but now it's as if suddenly I've realised I have to face things without the plaster of alcohol to prop me up?
Everything seems a bit overwhelming
None of the "to do " things are even participating important that's the thing m.
I'm likely behaving like a spoiled , but every day things this week I'm bowing way out of proportion and being a bit (lot) snappy with everyone ! I can't seem to chill !!
Habe tried bath / favourite drink but keep looking at the wine selection and wishing I could inhale a glass of red !

Oh definitely @mumzof4x ! Is it partly the feeling of “oh is this forever?” It just feels impossible sometimes, doesn’t it? I always used to get really twitchy about big milestones for that reason.
In those times, I find it helpful just to focus on the next step. There’s a saying in running “run the mile you’re in”. Just keep doing the next thing.

It looks like The Outrun is on Netflix from Thursday. Lovely film from a really good book - a woman goes back to the Orkneys to get sober.
There’s a moment when she rips open a ring pull with such ferocity her mum thinks she’s drinking again- but it’s just that anger and edge. Loved that

Beautiful film - I saw it at our little independent cinema earlier this year. Really surprised it didn't get a BAFTA last week

Hi lovelies, glad you’re feeling better @WendyWagon .
Sipping an ice cold Becks Blue, always hits the spot!
Take care xx

Great thank you for the tip @Onewildandpreciouslife I will watch it.

Always greatful to meet a new week without a hangover or worry about smelling of booze. Sundays had become a boozy night.

Sleep well all x

I really want to see that film @Onewildandpreciouslife I'll look forward to it.
71 days here, ten weeks, an extra day and I managed a week away AF.
Some days I can't believe I've got this far, but others I get sad and angry that I couldn't do it sooner.

Morning ships company ,
As Bruce Springsteen sang " I want to change my clothes ,my hair, my face ".I'll add "my mental health, my figure, my liver ".
I will not drink today.
Love and kind thoughts to all.

Well done everyone passing milestones @MagsMagnolia @Lifeisnoteasy84 and @TequilaAndPickles ,and anyone else I've missed.

I had to laugh @Kindtomyself about you going for a run after the theatre, you sound just like me, we can do this. Too much chocolate over the weekend😪. I saw an old friend on Saturday, she's a few years older than me but looks a few years younger than me. She hardly drinks, and looks after herself, with diet, exercise and facials. I am getting there eraseing years of neglect and alcohol .

Hope you still find the track @ShyMaryEllen, I'm going to listen to Glen Howard.

I've said Foxtrot Oscar to a short list of people ( in my head) and feel so much better, thanks @WendyWagon. Sending a Yorkshire tea 🫖and hot cross bun 🍪.

Morning. Day 15 completed. Woke at 4.45am panicked and full of shame. I feel really isolated, I have lost friends because of my behaviour. I just have to keep believing that things will improve.

Morning all.
Mondays always bring stiff joints at the moment due to the roast dinner marathon. Up down, up down.

BFF cancelled popping in today but she's gone a bit doolally since moving in with the 37 year old boyfriend. I wouldn't have the stamina! 😄 I am getting a bit pissed off with the 'rainchecks'. The non driving is getting me down.

My niece had my late brother's first grandchild earlier last week. Both of my brothers had girls. He's an absolute spit of my brother. He would have been there building a full bespoke nursery. Not even two years since he left us so bittersweet.

I'm planning on revisiting a beautiful cottage I saw it a couple of years ago. I got gazumped. However it fell through. It's very pretty but expensive. I've decided I'm not good on compromises where houses are concerned. The DH agrees as no DIY. He is not the man for that. Our DC are grumpy about it.

Good morning @Kindtomyself I know it's natural but regrets are pointless and destructive. We can't change the past, all we can do is change our present and our future. I'm sure all of us on this thread have done things which we feel embarrassed or sad or ashamed about because we had too much to drink.

You are doing so well. You aren't drinking now. Things will get easier. Please don't be so hard on yourself. ❤️

@WendyWagon ah yes good reason for EBay shopping. Sorry about the stiff joints. Lovely that there’s a new baby in the family.

Thanks for the positive words @CarrotSeeds I am trying to be in the present and think positively but I keep waking with the dread.

Congratulations on the arrival of great-nephew @WendyWagon , that's lovely. A part of your brother lives on in him.

Sorry for the brief visit. Still dealing with the aftermath of Friday's events at work. Cannot say more, alas, but it was proper "jaw on the floor" stuff. Thank goodness I had Sid to come home to.

Strength and love. Keep going, you will get there. x

Just hopping on briefly - having a lovely evening with DS1, his girlfriend, his godparents and DH. I'm drinking Nosecco and DS is on Peroni 0%, his godmother doesn't drink and his girlfriend has been talking about her Mum who also doesn't drink anymore! Feel in such good company and truly have had a lovely warm and funny evening 🥰

@MagsMagnolia I can't tell you how much joy and delight, plus extra encouragement your post has brought me. I'm having a tough time with work just now. Sid helps me to stay strong.

Strength and courage. I have neither ATM . But they'll be back. Have courage and stay strong.. Keep going x