The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Gorgeous Mags, great shape and colour ❤️ Sid and I have got pot envy! x

Morning beautiful shipmates
I will not drink today.
My body,and mental health deserve better.
Love and kind thoughts to all.

Morning. Day 13 completed. Woke at 5 with fear, shame and regret.

Lovely teapot @MagsMagnolia

Morning all.

I had a difficult time yesterday with an old friend. I shared my troubles with her regarding the DS and she attacked me. She told me I'd effected their childhood and brought most of the troubles on my self. Ffs, talk about kicking a person when their down. I was shocked tbh.
I did reach for the booze but I couldn't get the top off! (someone was looking out for me).

I don't know why people feel that someone who has overcome an addiction has to continually wear a hair shirt. It made me feel like sh*t.

Other than that I'm greatful for a sober Saturday morning. I'm going to binge on magazines.

That's horrid of your friend @WendyWagon . It's so wrong the stigma and shame people can place on people (like me) who struggle with addiction.

You've managed to make the changes many can't ever achieve. That's something to be forever proud of.

Typically I have woken up with a high temperature today, not the wellness I was hoping for. I think my low immune system is another sign that needs to keep my sober life going x

OMG is that a Le Creuset?
It's beautiful 😍

Morning everyone and happy weekend.

@WendyWagon my heart goes out to you and I certainly wouldn't think of her as a friend. We're here to support our friends aren't we - not berate and destroy them. I think it says more about her than it does you.
My DC's have seen me at my worst over the years and on occasions it has been them I've upset when I've become drunk and belligerent. I've talked to them and apologised and whilst I can't undo it, I carry it as one of my main reasons to keep away from the wine. I accept my past behaviour, as you do, but opening up that wound and raking through it is not the action of a good friend (that's something reserved for me and me only!).
Sending love and compassion and hoping you manage to enjoy the weekend x

@TequilaAndPickles it is indeed! And an absolute steal on eBay! I’ve decided to reward myself with something nice (like my teapot) every now and then, for staying AF and resisting the horrid temptation to drink. So if I do crack open a bottle of wine I loose out on my treats.
I'm on nights now so it will be easy for the next couple of days, but DS1 and his girlfriend are visiting next week, so I’m going to find myself something lovely for the price of a couple of bottles and if I can get through family roasts and a trip to the pub then I’ll have a little prize at the end! Suggestions welcome!!! 😁 🤗

I didn't actually acknowledge what my guest said but boy did she try to ram home the point. She's usually very kind as an ex nurse but I think when someone is ill others can use that to get one up. I've had it from all quarters. I initially had a very serious diagnosis a month ago with potentially a poor outcome. Along came another doctor who has never met me and changed the diagnosis. This resulted in a different surgical timescale. Some people seemed to find this an excuse to minimise my illness and play 'Top Trumps' with me. They knew a friend of a friend blah, blah. When you think you're on your way out you are pretty scared.
I haven't said what it is due to the stalker chap on this thread. I don't want it being talked about IRL and potentially reaching my clients. The only thing that is wrong with my mind is I'm bloody fed up.
With friends like mine etc....

Thank you to those that have sent DMs

WW

@MagsMagnolia i always favour lipstick or perfume (got to keep a girl in business).
However how about an omelette pan?

I'm saving up for a ice-cream maker. I want the ninja. If I can keep away from the frocks until June I'm having one.

About to head out to see some sights on this mini-break. Without a mild hangover, I was able to enjoy poached eggs for breakfast! Having a better appetite is a comfort.

Sending love and support to @WendyWagon. You did really well xxxxx

@WendyWagon Stalker chap?? 🫣

Oh, @WendyWagon, you poor thing. We know what our drinking has done to our children, but there is bog all we can do about it now, so berating you is not only pointless but cruel.

Of course you are scared by your diagnosis, and an ex-nurse should be more aware of that than most. What is she thinking?

Can MN do anything about Stalkerman? Block his IP or something? Have a virtual hug anyway? You are really going through it just now.

I'm very much in favour of us getting treats to encourage us, @MagsMagnolia. I've just ordered fancy new sleep headphones. They are probably a rip-off at the price, but I use them every night, so on a cost-per-use basis they are practically free, or will be in a few months😉.

I finally checked the iPod and the effing track is not on it😡. It looks like I must have synched the thing just before I joined the 21st century and started streaming. I dug out another iPod and have had that on charge in a last ditch attempt to find the thing, after which I shall give up. It's maddening as I can't find a suitable replacement either. The current fashion seems to be to get the listener to relax, then listen to affirmations, but I like the guided imagination ones, where you go for a walk or sit on the beach etc.

Love to all, and cuddles to Sid.

Yes I had one on this thread. My user name referenced my nickname IRL. Daft but there you are. A friend of a friend read the thread and discussed with her self important husband. I don't think it was a shock 'I liked a drink' but it was creepy. I was in a hotel having a seedlip when he brought it up in front of others. Nasty little git. It was like he advanced searched me daily. Having been stalked and threatened with violence in my personal life it freaked me out. I've grown a thicker skin since.

Sorry you've had such grim times @WendyWagon - you really don't deserve that. You're fab.

I have just returned from taking M to The Range and Dunelm. Joy of joys. I have brought a new lampshade for the bedroom. Was tempted to go full "tart's boudoir" but in the end went for a silvery lattice type thing. I hope Sid will like it. I nearly bought him a pair of fairy wings to wear from the pet section - but I feel I would like to live to see another dawn, so on the peg they remained. I bought some poo bags instead. Living the dream.

I hope you find your track @ShyMaryEllen - it's a bit like a treasure hunt. I sometimes trawl charity shops in new places, forever seeking a pattered mug that I loved as a child. It will be so satisfying when you track it down.

Strength and courage mes amies. As the Wilson Phillips ladies say - "hold on for one more day". We'll get there. x

Thank you @REP22 i might check the dates but it seems like a few years ago.

Sobriety means I can shrug alot off.

@WendyWagon that’s shit behaviour from your friend. I wonder what she was hoping to achieve with that. Jeez

@Kindtomyself ive just told my husband what happened and he is disgusted. Nice to have some support.
My friend is Ex military so super organised. Always telling people what she would do but this was about effecting my children as adults. I know who I was, no need to tell me. She's got a right arse of a husband and everything coming out of her mouth sounds like his mansplaining.

@REP22 i checked some old threads and I've been Wendy since 2022.

I could really do with telling people to Foxtrot Oscar 😄 not my lovely sober sisters but the other rubberneckers!

My family seem like a breeze atm.

I have reached 20 days sober and will reach three weeks tomorrow (I will NOT drink tonight). Easy does it.

I found it! It is called Heal your body by Glenn Harold. It took ages to find the thing, and the bugger of it is - it’s been on my phone all along 🙄. It’s on the Relax and Sleep Well app, which has lots of good things on it - some free and some to buy. I can’t remember which this one was, but I don’t think they are expensive.

Anyway, my fancy schmancy sleep headphones will be delivered on Monday, and I am so looking forward to playing it through them. I played it often when I thought I was seriously ill, and it calmed me a lot. The affirmations are about how you are safe and loved, which was what I needed to hear when I felt worthless and unlovable.

I am out tomorrow and have people over on Monday, but I hope to have time to clear and clean the bedroom and create an oasis to sleep in. Goodnight, shipmates.

7 days people!!! 😁

It’s not the same one 😂

I will stop boring you all now- sorry.

Morning lovely crewmates
I am so grateful to be here for another day.
I will not drink today .
Love and kind thoughts to all

Morning all.
A better Wendy today.
I've calmed down and had a hot cross bun, first of the season.

The DH and I usually go out for a bit of posh food shopping. I think I can manage it. I'm in need of fruit.

Well done Mags on your first week and congrats to @Lifeisnoteasy84

@WendyWagon oooh I do love a hot cross bun!
@Lifeisnoteasy84 20 days - well done 👏
Off to bed for me now - have a lovely Sunday