The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Checking in before I head to work after another decent nights sleep. Really felt the cravings last night when I got home but drank copious amounts of tea and watched tThe Apprentice with DH instead.

It's quite scary how much I want to have 'just a glass' even though I know I won't stop at that. I had a really vivid dream last night about drinking with friends and my Mum (who died a few months ago) was there too. I thought I was fine but she kept telling me how obnoxious I was when I was drinking!

@taylorean keep smashing it today!

Morning crew of HMS Sobriety .
Spring will soon be here, and I want to appreciate it in all it's glory .
I will not drink today .
Love and kind thoughts to all .

Morning. Woke early and had the usual feeling of fear and anxiety about my behaviour and lay there while my brain started to carry out a reminder of all the times I have behaved badly. I also noticed that my AirPods were out of their case and I observed my brain saying that was because you were drunk last night and I immediately felt really bad. However the reality is that I fell asleep with my AirPods in as I was listening to a sober podcast! Eventually I managed to do some visualisation and fall back asleep dreaming about old school.

I've been catching up with you all

Thanks for your message @taylorean about my morning affirmation. 🥰

@TequilaAndPickles ,I'm going to use " I'm in forever anyway " as another mantra.

You do deserve this @Kindtomyself, we all do. "It'll be alright, I promise " as @REP22 says. I often remind myself that I should just have faith that it will all be worth it in the end .So many long time sober people post on here how much better they're lives are now. They didn't believe they could do it, and if they can anyone can. It takes time for our brains to make our own happy hormones again.

Morning all.
Quiet on the western front.
A friend is due to visit so I will shake a leg.

Weird thing for me Friday night has blended into the weekend now. DD doesn't go into uni on Fridays so we've re framed our day as movie time. We try to sneak a film in late afternoon.

@mumzof4x congratulations on your eighty days.

Morning all,

Well done everyone for keeping going.

I’m dealing with a bit of a stressful situation at the moment.

I was having a quick tidyup in the kitchen this morning, and moved DP’s left over bottle of wine to a less inconvenient location. As I did so, I thought “thank god, I’m not touching this stuff anymore”. The stressful situation would have been a trigger for me to have a drink. But it would have just made things worse.

I’m so relieved that I’m not dealing with the stressful situation whilst also feeling physically bleurgh because of alcohol. It’s one less burden.

Amazing @mumzof4x on your 80 days.

I'm really enjoying reading everyone's posts about coping better without alcohol. I've downloaded quit like a women. Looks like what I need.

Hope people have kind Friday plans x

Good afternoon shipmates.

Work chaos. I'm most senior person in situ - heaven help us all. 🙄

All shall be well, but apologies for hasty check-in and departure. There might have to be chocolate tonight.

Strength and love to you. Keep going. Stay strong. xx

I’m going to a fundraiser tonight. It’s BYOB and I really couldn’t care less about what to drink, ie tap water fine. I think it’s because I won’t really know anyone there as we’re new. DH on the other hand is fretting about what people will think- should we take a bottle of wine to give to others on our table? let’s get a fancy spritzer… knickers in knot 🤦‍♀️ Take what you like, man! No one will care! I bet 95% will be driving anyway.

That was one of the revelations for me. Nobody actually cares whether other people drink or not, unless not doing so shows up their own overindulgence. Another was that it is perfectly possible to fall asleep without being several units in.

By a miracle I have located the iPod, and by a special miraculous miracle I found an appropriate charger🥳. I seem to remember that they take eons to charge, but it is plugged in, and I hope that by tonight I will have found the elusive hypnosis track. The difficulty is going to be getting it from there onto my phone, as it doesn't have data to share (it's an ancient Classic), and I also remember that when you plug iPods into a laptop the iPod overwrites iTunes and deletes everything since the last synch (in this case about 7 years ago), which I really don't want to happen. Assuming the track is on there, which is not a given, I suppose I could listen direct from the iPod retro style. That would probably be safer.

Evening cravings are horrendous right now...

@MagsMagnolia can you get into your pj's and escape upstairs?

Hang in there @MagsMagnolia - you have done so well to get this far. Don’t give up. Do anything to distract yourself- just ride it out. It will pass.

It will be alright @MagsMagnolia - keep giving it another few minutes. Watch something you like, how about a nice bath? Distraction is key. You'll thank yourself in the morning. We believe in you. x

Strength and love to you all as we head into the weekend. It will be alright. x

I'm at work! Thank you SO much for the support. I think it's passing. I'm going to have an omlette and a cup of tea when I eventually get home and tuck myself safely up in bed with the dog (DH is on nights).
Hoping for another good night's sleep 😴

PS: You are all wonderful 🥰

Omelette sounds great Mags.

I want to have a rant about a drinks menu in a restaurant this week, but I don’t know if it would be inappropriate/unfair on this thread in case it could be a trigger for someone? I’m outraged by what the restaurant mis-described as low alcohol. When you’re avoiding alcohol, it makes you really notice this stuff.

@MagsMagnolia I hope you managed to get through - if not, tomorrow's another day.

Friday evenings aren't easy!

I wobbled when we went out for dinner, because we went somewhere where the beer is just very good.

But I had two alcohol-free pints, and pub grub - which normally leaves me feeling really bloated if mixed with real beer.

I enjoyed it and feel fine. So it was worth the feeling of deprivation at the start.

Evening all.

Last night in Spain..managed to swerve a trip to the Karaoke bar (where I have disgraced myself in the past! ) and had a quiet night in with DC.

Only one acquaintance cares much about what I am drinking/not drinking and piped up again this evening (they are also out here and came by a little earlier) "Is this you no or is it just a bit of an experiment?"

I gave my usual answer.of yes, just finding that kt drinking agrees with me and launched into, a " don't want to stop but I would like to cut down speech"

Still not sure how to deal with these as i don't really want to go into any more depth regarding my own journey with this person (I don't really trust her).

So just nodded and smiled and said I find my postmenopausal symptoms have vanished (which they have - but I now think they had nothing to do with peri 😂)

Anyway, tucked up in bed and ready for sleep soon.

Night night all

@MagsMagnolia so pleased you posted and had replies. Hope you sleep well tonight.

@EastCoastDamsel I hate the questions. I think they only reveal difficulties the questioner has, but doesn't make it any easier for me to answer.

Friday night's are my hardest night. I must plan something for next Friday. I made it safety, and soberly to bed. Looking forward to restorative sleep, the best reward.

@REP22 I hope your work situation works out OK x

Currently enjoying a cheese and mushroom omlette and a veritable vat of tea. I am SO happy and grateful for you lot on here!
(May I share a pic of my new teapot which was waiting for me when I got home?...)

A thing of beauty 🧡

That’s a very fine teapot Mags, I do love a good teapot.