The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2025

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the one I use, I Am Sober. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Thanks for your messages @Onewildandpreciouslife and @REP22 makes me feel less alone.

Day 3 today and despite a successful night when a friend dropped round unexpectedly and I drank AF beer instead of wine, I'm feeling a bit low today.
I can remember feeling SO good before and right now I just feel tired and slow and just a bit yuk. Not sure why. Not craving a drink though so that's good. Have just ordered myself a Kindle to cheer me up and I'm going to hunker down in front of the fire until bed time.
Hope the rest of you are doing well today 🙂

Well done on your Day 3 @MagsMagnolia

Have you got some Vitamin B1?

Everyone who has been drinking heavily and stops should take high dose Thiamine (B1) for six weeks or so. It protects the brain, and is very important. You can't overdose on it, so don't worry if you are taking a multi-vitamin too. It might make your wee glow in a strange luminous manner, but that's nothing to worry about.

AFAIK (I am not a medic) brain damage is rare, but obviously devastating, and as you can get 100 tabs for about £6 on Amazon, it's silly not to.

Well done on day 3 @MagsMagnolia. Hunkering down sounds perfect. I’m doing the same. Enjoying reading and I feel like I have a lot more time on my hands

Morning. Day 11 completed. Had a weird sleep, woke up a lot feeling crap about my past choices, my immediate thought as I woke up was unease and dread. I had been exercising a fair bit before I stopped the alcohol but I am now struggling to motivate myself. I have an urge to hibernate, stay under the covers and drink tea. Generally feeling sorry for myself.

Morning all

@Kindtomyself I felt like that the first few weeks too. Almost like I was recovering from a virus.

Hang in there, it gets better.

@REP22 thank you for the thread advice it's very appreciated. thanks @ShyMaryEllen @WendyWagon @Womanshour for the mention all means a lot. the sobriety honestly just gets easier. i'm nearly 10 months in after 38 years of near daily drinking and drunkenness and i feel i've finally got my brain working properly again. it's almost as simple as that.

Thanks @EastCoastDamsel. Well done on nearly 10 months @ponzusoup and good to read that your brain is resetting

Morning all.
The knee still looks like a brioche bun but I can walk on it.
One tea down.
I've swapped the shortbread for ginger biscuits and that appears to be OK with my gallbladder.
I never ate biscuits until I gave up the booze. I didn't think I'd prefer three bisucuits to a glass of wine but I do.

When I first gave up the grog I was in bed by 8.30. I was so exhausted. I dreamt a lot with weird dreams. I then had a few weeks of not sleeping until late. I watched re runs of New Tricks.
I think to hibernate is a good idea. Addicts don't have to face lines of drugs everyday but we do as shoppers and within the home (if you keep drink in the cupboards). I rarely took booze into the bedroom as I have a thing about smells. I can't sleep if my bedroom smells of food. Once I'm here I'm safe. Hence I get up to my boudoir ASAP after supper.
I'm mainlining Neom luxury candles at the moment and it smells like a spa.

One day at a time. X

@EastCoastDamsel thank you and back atcha. it's been a revelation actually! much more even mood and taking pleasure in the small things whereas previously only booze gave me the kick i thought i wanted. it's worth the early days of pushing through , it really is. the field of rabbits is reachable. there are still foxes around, but boy can you out run those mother fuckers.

Morning all.
Well done on day 3 @MagsMagnolia - these first few days are really hard because the physical effects of alcohol are still going. It will feel better soon

I’ve been looking back at my kindle highlights of Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker - not as widely recommended as some, but one of my favourites.

Your post this morning @Kindtomyself reminded me of one of her quotes: “Act like a person who needs healing - because you are, and you do”. Don’t worry about trying to exercise or achieve anything at the moment other than being kind to yourself (like what I did there?!) and not drinking.

But my favourite Holly Whitaker quote is this one …

@Onewildandpreciouslife I LOVE that quote.
After feeling really fed up last night I actually had the best nights sleep I've had for months! I won't say I couldn't have stayed there longer (up at 5.20 for work) but I do actually feel more refreshed and ready for the day than I have for a long, long time. Really hoping it lasts...

Morning my wonderful crewmates
I will not drink today
I want to live a better life
Love and kind thoughts to all

I love that quote @Onewildandpreciouslife thanks, it’s really hit something in me. I am
coming to the realisation that I was not showing agency when I was drinking, it is an indication of my self worth. I didn’t actually think anything about it particularly- apart from when I woke up in the depths of despair wondering what happened.
I now feel like this step is most definitely about learning to love myself, I am the most important person to me. I will have a read of the Holly Whittaker book - I have read a fair few before and then forgot it all when I decided to have a drink after 6 weeks

Good morning lovelies. Sorry for everyone who is feeling grey and grim like the weather this morning. The clouds will pass over and the sun will shine again.

It will take time for your body to recover. But every hour that passes, however hard, is another step along the path that leads to better health and happiness.

Keep at it, it's worth the slog and I promise it won't always feel this rotten. You're on the way and you can do this.

I have to go and watch the Sound of Music tonight. I have never seen it before. Although I did once go to a SofM-themed party. Dressed as a goat. I've still got the horns somewhere.

Strength and love. It'll be alright. xx

@REP22 You've never seen The Sound Of Music? 😳 😱 I LOVE that film, have maybe seen it a dozen times! Must admit I love the idea of the goat horns though!!!! 🤣

Hope everyone has a good day. Great quote @Onewildandpreciouslife

Morning all. I'm away for a couple of days, and would normally have had a nice glass of white wine at the airport, one at the hotel when arriving after all that STRESS and then a couple over dinner.

Looking back - what a waste!

I woke this morning feeling awake, and am just enjoying not feeling groggy and depressed right now.

@taylorean That's fantastic and just what I need to hear! In 6 weeks we're going abroad for a family celebration in an all inclusive resort where I will be the only one not drinking. I'm already a bit worried that I won't be able to do it OR that everyone will think I'm a killjoy. Keep posting sober holiday positivity!!!

Evening everyone.
I felt lousy too when I first quit, actually the first month was rough, like ploughing through treacle. It’s normal, brains re wiring, dopamine going haywire, sugar levels confused. Feels horrible, but I tried to frame it as positive, because it meant the start of the process of getting rid of the toxins and my body getting healthy again.
Do what you need to do, I went to bed ridiculously early, binged Buffy, ate maltesars and drank loads of water to flush out my system. Bizarre trippy dreams too.
Just go with it, it passes, and it’s worth it. I remember after a couple of weeks in, I thought I can’t ever go through this again.
Love to all x

@MagsMagnolia Well, I managed today! Just thinking of the years of DH saying 'come on, you're on holiday' to encourage us both to have wine at lunch.

He's supportive now which helps a lot (though still asks if I'd like wine at dinner, or a nightcap if I've done a lot that day, as my reward).

@MagsMagnolia Do you think mocktails might be your friend on holiday? I'm not keen myself as I find them too sweet but it might give you that holiday vibe without the booze.

That's pretty much what I did. I mainlined sugar, spent a lot of time in bed, mostly watching 'easy' TV as I couldn't sleep, and when I did sleep it was like a mystery ticket to the cinema. I miss those dreams.

It passes though.

9 days alcohol free and just had a notification that my resting heart rate has dropped from 78 to 70 over the last 6 days! That's certainly not a coincidence! Feeling more positive I can stick with it this time.

Good morning all.
Just checking in. Stayed up until 12 just to watch my countdown turn to 80 days AF 🙏
Still so cannot believe I got this far. Have been a few temptations recently but when it came to it I was stronger than I thought possible because it really does get easier.
Still spending silly money on soft drinks so I can have a treat in the evening ... this week it's Tea Pigs Early Grey Darjeeling, Red bush and Chia.
Bought 2 nice cordials on offer with Nectar tonight : Elderflower and Lime and Mint. Added some spring water and a few springs of Mint and was delicious.
Struggling to find motivation to exercise arm though so hoping to find my mojo again 🤣
Sending virtual cups of kindness and sunshine and strength to all fellow shipmates. Wherever we all are; day 1 or day 1000, the support, motivation and resources on here help us on our way so thank you all x
I seriously never ever thought I could do this, but suddenly it's day 80 and sometimes I haven't even thought about alcohol for like hours and when i do it's just a few seconds.
I have sooooo much more time and have learnt how to take care of me and relax.
Everything is so calm now and I am grateful for the peace in my mind x x x